London massage shop mini reviews

[DrDinglyDangly]

TBH, such unicorn-in-some-eyes intel from a member with one review under his belt and a handful of posts rather than chebs didn't have me salivating and trekking to Stratford.

Should see my DMs filled with hungry punters. Kinda scary actually 

[sparkus]

Should see my DMs filled with hungry punters. Kinda scary actually 

I don't doubt that for a second.

Imagine how many lurker bookings and walk ins they've had since too.

[Offtoasda]

Should see my DMs filled with hungry punters. Kinda scary actually 

Instead of hungry hungry hippos you have horny horny punters in your inbox

[sparkus]

Intel only but spotted this shabby place the other day (thinking back I have seen online ads for) on Lea Bridge Road:

External Link/Members Only

The number is also on an AW profile and a Google search of it brings up plenty too:

External Link/Members Only

Anyone been?

[RussAbbot]

Intel only but spotted this shabby place the other day (thinking back I have seen online ads for) on Lea Bridge Road:

External Link/Members Only

The number is also on an AW profile and a Google search of it brings up plenty too:

External Link/Members Only

Anyone been?

I recognised the number as someone I saw a long time ago (before being a member), was not the girl in the photos (despite me confirming beforehand), instead was a old chubby Thai lady, who was a little unhinged (gently punching my back shouting “naughty boy”)

I vowed to steer clear after that visit, should have walked.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen others say similar on this thread (or the gumtree one) from the gumtree ads

[sparkus]

I recognised the number as someone I saw a long time ago (before being a member), was not the girl in the photos (despite me confirming beforehand), instead was a old chubby Thai lady, who was a little unhinged (gently punching my back shouting “naughty boy”)

I vowed to steer clear after that visit, should have walked.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen others say similar on this thread (or the gumtree one) from the gumtree ads

I wasn't sure if it was the Gumtree location of doom.

They used to feature on various Asian/Oriental Massage sites (and Yelp etc) but I suspected it was just a glorified FS brothel until I sighted the actual shop frontage on Google Streetview.

[socksfellan2]

Visited a new joint recently which I can't see any mention of via search. See my review below

Positives:
- Good English, little to no language barrier
- Clean & tidy shop
- Great service & organised
- Good background music, not too distracting

Negatives
- None

Overall, 8/10 on the massage skills.

Website: External Link/Members Only

Edit: Scratch that, I did find ONE reference to it just now where armslave mentions no HE:

External Link/Members Only

the first one I saw while driving down the A1 and decided to try was Cocos thai massage, looks like they're new and theyre doing a £40 per hour deal. The place looks nice and modern, they have nice seating area inside the foyer where they give you tea to sip while they get the room ready. The only downside of the facility is that they only have one room with a shower so unless you get that room you wont get to have a shower after which I unfortunately didn't get but the room was still nice and they had a heated massage table which is also nice. After a little wait came a slender small thai woman in a tight fitting black thai massage uniform wearing a mask but she looked like she would be pretty, she mentioned her name but I totally forgot it. Unfortunately while she was very liberal with moving the towel and gave my butt a good oiling I got nothing! No "accidental" touches, brushes rubs tugs nothing. It was a good massage which I wanted but not the ending I was hoping for.

[Ozy84]

Should see my DMs filled with hungry punters. Kinda scary actually 

Wouldn’t say hungry, just a few more details.

I asked if you could give a better description of the girl and also whether touching was allowed. Neither question you have answered. Obviously your choice to answer but cuntish if you have seen a pm from a fellow punter, read it and just chose to ignore.

[DrDinglyDangly]

Wouldn’t say hungry, just a few more details.

I asked if you could give a better description of the girl and also whether touching was allowed. Neither question you have answered. Obviously your choice to answer but cuntish if you have seen a pm from a fellow punter, read it and just chose to ignore.

It’s nothing personal but I can’t reply to every DM. I simply posted an update to reply to everyone!
But since you asked, I touched (and sucked) the breasts only, touched the bum didn’t try anything else and pretty sure I’d get shut down if I did since sex wasn’t seem like it’s on the card (nor did I want it).

This was a very flirtatious massage rather than a service - which is why I said, I don’t think many will get as far as I did. I wasn’t trying and even kept my boxers on! Again, I could be wrong.

[LLPunting]

Wouldn’t say hungry, just a few more details.

I asked if you could give a better description of the girl and also whether touching was allowed. Neither question you have answered. Obviously your choice to answer but cuntish if you have seen a pm from a fellow punter, read it and just chose to ignore.

The point of this site is to share info so why ask for such info privately, why not ask on the thread?  It's not like you're saying "I have x medical condition do you think she we have a problem with that?"  (Even then others in the past have asked that kind of question openly.)  DDD did the sensible thing in replying openly without responding to each individual. 

It would be interesting to know how many enquiries he got from "people" who aren't openly posting (or doing so very rarely and then only to offer very little), what are they called again?

[Ozy84]

It’s nothing personal but I can’t reply to every DM. I simply posted an update to reply to everyone!
But since you asked, I touched (and sucked) the breasts only, touched the bum didn’t try anything else and pretty sure I’d get shut down if I did since sex wasn’t seem like it’s on the card (nor did I want it).

This was a very flirtatious massage rather than a service - which is why I said, I don’t think many will get as far as I did. I wasn’t trying and even kept my boxers on! Again, I could be wrong.

👍

[greenkomodo]

I can't remember where I got this number from (Unadvertised phone number removed.)

No name of the spa, just told it was 'family run'. Korean/Thai/Japanese girls, 30 quid for 30 mins and 50 quid for 1 hour. Postcode is se8 4ag (deptford). Today a half japanese / chinese girl only when I asked if I could choose. May give it a punt.

[Ozy84]

The point of this site is to share info so why ask for such info privately, why not ask on the thread?  It's not like you're saying "I have x medical condition do you think she we have a problem with that?"  (Even then others in the past have asked that kind of question openly.)  DDD did the sensible thing in replying openly without responding to each individual. 

It would be interesting to know how many enquiries he got from "people" who aren't openly posting (or doing so very rarely and then only to offer very little), what are they called again?

Not every conversation/comment involves you LLP so just sometimes learn to mind your own. Having joined this site around the same time as you, i do hope you are well though and good to see you survived covid and still out and about.

 

[LLPunting]

Not every conversation/comment involves you LLP so just sometimes learn to mind your own. Having joined this site around the same time as you, i do hope you are well though and good to see you survived covid and still out and about.

 

Maybe I'm missing the smirk and humour in your written reply... 

My previous statement clearly draws a distinction between a genuinely discrete enquiry vis-a-vis asking for something additional that many would benefit from.  DDD similarly makes that distinction with his reply.

If your reply was meant to be tetchy, then it seems out of keeping with the character I've parlayed with previously.  IF there's something other than the offence you've taken from my comment bugging you then I hope that passes.  I noted your absence from the active discussions this past year or more and was heartened to see you pipe up again a little while back (thought I'd welcomed your return).   

P.S. Apols, I should've made clear I wasn't including you in my aside about otherwise silent enquirers. 

[daviemac]

I can't remember where I got this number from (Unadvertised phone number removed.)

Please read the rules regarding what can and can't be posted. https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=252680.0

[LLPunting]

On a recce at the weekend and popped into the TCM on the corner of Lewisham Rd and Blackheath Hill.  Previous visit found a couple of Chinese 30-somethings with barely a word of English between them, this time 3 40+ matrons with little to offer looks or cheb-wise were behind the counter (and a Chinese bloke sitting in the small reception who then exited when I entered).  These ladies understood and spoke more English and keenly replied to my enquiry about pricing and were good natured when I turned to leave.  Pricing 30 for 30 and 50 for 60.  Premises looked cluttered but tidy and decor tired, not exactly promising luxurious or spacious massage rooms behind, perhaps someone who's tried can reveal?  Forgot to ask if they have a shower.

[greenkomodo]

Went to Li Health: https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=318939.0

[stampjones]

It would be interesting to know how many enquiries he got from "people" who aren't openly posting (or doing so very rarely and then only to offer very little), what are they called again?

That would be leeching cunts I think? 

[jjjsmith26]

Recently stayed near Paddington and had 3 visits nearby.

Two visits to natural balance on Southwick Street.

1st visit paid £40 for a 40 minute massage, delivered by a Chinese girl (sorry I didn’t get the name), about late 20s to early 30s. Pretty clear extras were on offer from the start. Led to room and asked to remove clothes and lie down as she left temporarily. I had covered my butt with a towel, which on her return she lifted up to adjust but then kept off for way too long before replacing. Proceeded to a really good massage, toward the end of which she pulled on my legs to spread them and brushed my taint. I was then asked to flip and towel was removed and she asked if I wanted extras… I wasn’t in the mood so replied no and she continued to massage my front.

2nd visit paid £60 for a 60 minute deep tissue massage. Delivered by Irini, a really pretty Romanian in her late 20s with a slim figure. The massage again was really good, with Irini literally climbing onto me to exert pressure. Again I had covered myself with a towel at the start but unlike the previous visit no signal of extras on offer until post-turn I asked. Paid £50 for topless HE. Lovely handjob given.

My final trip was to Thai touch Paddington on Star street. Seen by heavier-set Romanian in mid to late 30s she gave the name Elena when asked. Paid £40 for 40 minute massage, however as soon as she walked back into room, towel was wiped off my butt and she went straight to playing with butt and balls. A much more raunchy experience. Sensual massage given alternating between legs and butt before I had to ask what else was on offer, on account of having a raging boner by that point. Quoted £100 for body-to-body but negotiated topless HE for £50. Once her top was off she was shoving her tits in my face for me to suck her nipples and to motorboat her ample bosom. Handjob was more aggressive and less sensual than experience at natural balance. I think full service would have been possible here, particularly since there was a wall length and width mirror at the head of massage table. I was out the door in 25 mins though.

[Davebizz]

Has anyone been here?
External Link/Members Only

Independent based in edmonton,london. She is english and does male waxing intimate as well as a massage. she has a photo of herself as the first pic which does give the idea that "nice massage" is on offer but could just be marketing AHA

[sparkus]

Just wondered if anyone else has ever noticed this.

Over the years I've had a few regs in shops and most of them, regardless of what day they're seen on, wear the same bra all the time (sometimes for years).

[RAJEC]

Just wondered if anyone else has ever noticed this.

Over the years I've had a few regs in shops and most of them, regardless of what day they're seen on, wear the same bra all the time (sometimes for years).

Yes I’ve seen it with Indy regs. Maybe it’s a ‘work bra’? 

[stampjones]

Just wondered if anyone else has ever noticed this.

Over the years I've had a few regs in shops and most of them, regardless of what day they're seen on, wear the same bra all the time (sometimes for years).

Yeah definitely. I think they like fast access - easy on and off - rather than comfort or whatever they’d normally wear so maybe they resent buying more than one. Plus its probably not good for snything else getting oil on it all the time?

[Mothball15]

Just wondered if anyone else has ever noticed this.

Over the years I've had a few regs in shops and most of them, regardless of what day they're seen on, wear the same bra all the time (sometimes for years).

Either primark, or worn out Victoria Secrets.

[sparkus]

Yeah definitely. I think they like fast access - easy on and off - rather than comfort or whatever they’d normally wear so maybe they resent buying more than one. Plus its probably not good for snything else getting oil on it all the time?

Two I'm thinking of only ever did topless, never b2b.

[genghis69]

Spurred on by a review by George 45 about Herbal Bliss in South Ruislip, I visited it yesterday afternoon.

Literally 25 metres from South Ruislip tube station. Come out, turn right and its in the middle of a parade of shops.

Went in, clean and bright waiting area. A small Chinese woman came running down the corridor and greeted me. Not a great looker about 4-5 out of 10. Said her name was Coco. Checked the price list ; £30 for 30 mins, £40 for 45, £45 for 60. Went for 45 mins cos I get bored during a full hour. Asked if they had showers, the answer was No. Still went ahead though, thinking I'll shower at home cos I don't live too far from this joint.

In the room, gets my kit off, Coco returns and I deliberately take my boxers off in front of her. She giggled. Game on 😁.

So so massage. Her English is non existent so not much banter. 15 mins left and I flip over onto my back. She grabs hold of my semi woody and asks "extra?". Then we start a difficult negotiation with language problems. Finally agreed to her being naked, access all areas, 69, pussy licking, OWO and CIM for £40. But she wanted the money first so I had get up and rummage for my wallet in the very dimly lit room.

Not bad body. I'd say she's around 40 yo plus or minus couple of years. Soft tits but hairy fanny. I don't like hairy fannies but when it's being flashed in your face I suppose one has to do the dirty deed. Smelt and tasted clean so I thought what the hell. Finally shot my load in her mouth during 69. She cleaned me up and I got dressed. Visited the toilet at the back of the shop. Clean establishment but the lack of shower is a serious negative for me. I reckon a few more readies and this Coco would go all the way. Overall a neutral cos of lack of shower. But good value for the things I got I suppose.

[Fully Sated]

Spurred on by a review by George 45 about Herbal Bliss in South Ruislip...

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=318713.0

[StevenSELondon]

I will be in the Bromley area this weekend, and am intruiged by the sauna massage.

Anyone know whether extras on offer at Herbal Spa, Bromley? Can't find anything on the search.

External Link/Members Only

External Link/Members Only

[LLPunting]

Swung thru West Ken a couple of times this past week and dipped into Forever Young.  30 for 30, 45 for 60.

Monica - 5'4", pale, brunette, pretty GND claiming to be from Italy but doesn't have a strong Italian accent, in her 20s.  Soft body, natural Bs with smallish responsive buds.  Shaven.  Friendly with good English.  Massage skills well practised.  Not particularly sensual in her approach this time.  +40 accepted for b2b when I declined paying more, service perhaps a little restrained as a result but not shy of getting astride and grinding, otherwise inexpressive.  Limited access below but boobs free to be stroked, lightly squeezed and sucked.  Determined wanker but limited in variety of technique.  No kissing.  Sun, M, Wed.  May try again to see if familiarity improves things as she wasn't discouraging in her manner.

Nana - 5'2', mumsy body, cute face, pale skin, natural Bs smaller, less plump than Monica's with long, brown, responsive teats.  b2b agreed but she then tried to keep her tights on.  Massage "skills" limited.  Another determined wanker but was a little vocal in a furtive way that oddly did the trick as she claimed that she was cumming. 
If being tossed off by a cute Chinese mum is your thing then have a go.  I won't be repeating.

[LLPunting]

I will be in the Bromley area this weekend, and am intruiged by the sauna massage.

Anyone know whether extras on offer at Herbal Spa, Bromley? Can't find anything on the search.

External Link/Members Only

External Link/Members Only

Wouldn't bank on anything great, some have reported HR but my one look in this past year was frightening.

[StevenSELondon]

Wouldn't bank on anything great, some have reported HR but my one look in this past year was frightening.

Good to know, thank you. Frightening how?

[greenkomodo]

So there is someone running an operation with a girl who is half japanese/half chinese in Lewishman. I've texted the number a few times and been told there is only one girl working there so perhaps it rotates every week? Anyway I think I'm gonna take a punt later today unless someone has any intel!

[LLPunting]

Good to know, thank you. Frightening how?

The old Chinese crone with almost no English ability looked like a Frankenstein's monster with her poorly applied too-red lipstick and white-powdered visage.

[StevenSELondon]

The old Chinese crone with almost no English ability looked like a Frankenstein's monster with her poorly applied too-red lipstick and white-powdered visage.

Noted!  Sounds right up my street 

Perhaps a little walk past in advance is required 

[LLPunting]

Noted!  Sounds right up my street 

Perhaps a little walk past in advance is required 

I called them recently about the massage in sauna option and the lady on the phone seemed to be saying that there's a specific lady on certain days who does this not all the masseuses working there. No name or details about age or looks provided.  I haven't been motivated enough to pop-in to see what she looks like.  I may yet try in which case I will advise assuming Igor doesn't do me in.

[StevenSELondon]

I called them recently about the massage in sauna option and the lady on the phone seemed to be saying that there's a specific lady on certain days who does this not all the masseuses working there. No name or details about age or looks provided.  I haven't been motivated enough to pop-in to see what she looks like.  I may yet try in which case I will advise assuming Igor doesn't do me in.

Ok great,  race you to it!

[greenkomodo]

Is it usually a bad or good sign when you book a massage off vivastreet and they don't give the address but say to meet outside a supermarket and they will pick me up from there?

[fuckit]

Hi guys,  any intel on this one on cricklewood Broadway?
External Link/Members Only

[stampjones]

Is it usually a bad or good sign when you book a massage off vivastreet and they don't give the address but say to meet outside a supermarket and they will pick me up from there?

Ive met a few girls that did that kind of thing over the years. Its never worked out badly but it always feels risky. Anyway its more of an indy than a shop thing so probably best to discuss on that thread

[greenkomodo]

Ive met a few girls that did that kind of thing over the years. Its never worked out badly but it always feels risky. Anyway its more of an indy than a shop thing so probably best to discuss on that thread

Ok cheers. Went for it. Review is up.

[Yelowman]

Love Nuru in Soho Wardour Street. Anyone been there or posted a review?

[greenkomodo]

After 2 semi failed punts anyone can recommend somewhere where you get an actual slim pretty long black hair girl Asian who will do HE with potential for more? I understand it's costly but I'm not into 30 minute fucks as that always seems extra awkward.

[DrDinglyDangly]

After 2 semi failed punts anyone can recommend somewhere where you get an actual slim pretty long black hair girl Asian who will do HE with potential for more? I understand it's costly but I'm not into 30 minute fucks as that always seems extra awkward.

I’m eying Sakura Massage in Newbury Park as my next punt but won’t be going for a while. Heard good things on here, maybe you want to go first?

[greenkomodo]

Oof takes me 1 hour to get there! Bit too far for a guess.

[Yelowman]

Anyone had the pleasure of visiting Love Nuru in Soho.

[stampjones]

After 2 semi failed punts anyone can recommend somewhere where you get an actual slim pretty long black hair girl Asian who will do HE with potential for more? I understand it's costly but I'm not into 30 minute fucks as that always seems extra awkward.

Its pretty tough getting that usually. Fantasia in charing cross road always used to have decent looking girls. Havent been for a good while though so not sure whats up these days. Easy to walk by if you’re in the area.

[sparkus]

Ive met a few girls that did that kind of thing over the years. Its never worked out badly but it always feels risky. Anyway its more of an indy than a shop thing so probably best to discuss on that thread

One on CL suggested a supermarket opposite my flat

[LLPunting]

One on CL suggested a supermarket opposite my flat

You really should stop posting bogus ads when you're stoned.   

[tony22]

"Man seeks woman for supermarket sweep in the chebbage aisle"

[LLPunting]

"Man seeks woman for supermarket sweep in the chebbage aisle"

Hmmm, so perhaps Sparkus didn't place the ad...

Was this one yours too?
"Missed connections:  I was the hugely experienced man, you were the teetering JLP partner, we bumped in Waitrose creating a spillage in your aisle, I gave you a lengthy tongue lashing somewhere between the glazed buns and giant baps.  Wish to make amends."