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Author Topic: Euphemistic phrases in reviews  (Read 3247 times)

Online NIK

I have been taken to task here on the East Midlands board for criticising the use of euphemistic phrases such as 'we sorted the paperwork out' and 'it was on with the hat /mac / raincoat'

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=91427.new#new

Personally I find such phrases in reports extremely grating and a sign of fluffiness as though they are trying to deny it's a paid encounter.

What do others think?
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 07:23:17 AM by NIK »

Offline Sonny Crockett

Personally it is not something that bothers me.
Banning reason: Troll

Online Corus Boy

We all know that a pussy is a cunt!

We know what the chocolate starfish is!

What a John Thomas is.

That a pro$$ie is a tar, a working girl, an escort!

People write what they are comfortable with, even in txt spk, as long as we understand, they have communicated and that is all that really matters.

Offline cueball

I have been taken to task here on the East Midlands board for criticising the use of euphemistic phrases such as 'we sorted the paperwork out' and 'it was on with the hat /mac / raincoat'

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=91427.new#new

Personally I find such phrases in reports extremely grating and a sign of fluffiness as though they are trying to deny it's a paid encounter.

What do others think?

I'm ok with the euphemisms above, I too use brass as money and best mates coat as condom.

I can't say for all but I write as I speak.

The fluffy shite that bothers me is "what happened remains between us" "oh, how we laughed as I handed her the flowers" etc etc etc

you get the general idea

Offline yumyum3

Quote
Personally I find such phrases in reports extremely grating and a sign of fluffiness as though they are trying to deny it's a paid encounter.
Indeed.

Since when were they called reports thought they were reviews on UKP, was that an euphemistic slip.   :lol: :lol: :lol:

Doesn't annoy me just helps me judge the reviewer and if they have fluffy tendencies !

The use of ''the main course'' which is normally followed by ''Mmmmm...'' really gets on my tits.  :mad:

The only thing that really grates with me in reviews/reports is a writing style which demonstrates that the author got an "F" grade on GCSE English. Quite painful to read!

The only thing that really grates with me in reviews/reports is a writing style which demonstrates that the author got an "F" grade on GCSE English. Quite painful to read!

No qualifications are required to be a punter, and less educated ones need a voice to.

What would you rather a prossie writes it for them ?   :dash: :dash: :dash: :dash:


It's horses for courses... Everyone will have their own idiosyncrasies and turns of phrase some of which will maybe sound odd or weird. Thing is, fact they're sharing a review makes me think we should cut them some slack on the style front. Only sort of posting that irks me is nasty, aggressive or angry writing.... Thankfully there's not much of that about on here.

Offline Moresomes

I have been taken to task here on the East Midlands board for criticising the use of euphemistic phrases such as 'we sorted the paperwork out' and 'it was on with the hat /mac / raincoat'

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=91427.new#new

Personally I find such phrases in reports extremely grating and a sign of fluffiness as though they are trying to deny it's a paid encounter.

What do others think?

Not something I could get worked up about. Whether someone says, "On with the hat" or " Spunkgobbling Sally carefully opened, and rolled on a Durex elite intimate feel condom" it just means that he put a blob on and humped her.

Offline Keema

I suspect your AW feedback is also laced with code.

Gentleman - old geezer
Sensuous - comes quickly
Kind -  silly sod brought me chocolates
Very kind - tips plus choccies
Keeper - went to Tesco Metro on the way in with my dinner
Dirty - hairy fat arsed slob who wanted rimmed

Offline Marmalade

I have been taken to task here on the East Midlands board for criticising the use of euphemistic phrases such as 'we sorted the paperwork out' and 'it was on with the hat /mac / raincoat'

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=91427.new#new

Personally I find such phrases in reports extremely grating and a sign of fluffiness as though they are trying to deny it's a paid encounter.

What do others think?

Too fucking right. Makes me feel like I'm reading a bloody AW fluffer.

The "lady" did this and that (after mentioning her first name in every paragraph out of 'respect')
She's a prostitute, a 'prossie' for short -- not a fucking 'lady'! And unless it's an orgy, we got her name at the title

One can usually tell within a couple of lines whether the reviewer is talking in a normal voice or like someone ina  drug-induced dream.

Some recents:

"The magic door opened; I was confronted with a vision of loveliness"
Try specsavers ffs.

"the most attractive girl I've seen"
Never walk down the high street I suppose?

"my mouth was watering"
If you drool a lot, take a kleenex.

" I did my due diligence"
What does that mean? Did some research? Did as you were told?

" the intensity of the 2 of us really going for it had to be felt at Richter scale 4.3"
slapper must have had a wobbly bed I guess

"she would be happy to entertain the concept if I proposed it to her"
more grovel talk, meaning, "she might think about it if I asked in suitably fluffy grovelling fashion"

"She then placed a mac on dboy junior "
probably told not to use certain naughty words in school English class were we?

"Mr Happy got the better of me"
I recognise that phrase. If Mr Bean could talk he'd maybe use it. Otherwise mostly those who are not yet adult or simply retarded say that.

and I can hardly believe we still get phrases like this! Really!! (only two days ago...) :
"what followed was just mindblowing. I wont go into explicit details as its personal between her and me"

I was trying to think how to sum up a recent visit to a Romanian prossie and couldn't get the self-service check-outs (eg at Tesco's) out of my head (looks impressive, zero human interaction)

But compliments to this guy:
"Typical Romanian, makes you feel like a war criminal"

 :hi:

Offline webpunter

Stuff like 'sorted the paperwork out" is just bollocks.  When i don't read such shite then do i jump to the conclusion "i wonder - did the punter get it for free ?".  Like fuck i do.  And as for "on with the mac" do in conclude that if not mentioned was it a BB sesssion ?  Err - no.  It just pads out the review.  I much prefer reviews from the likes of Bigus Dickus which whilst conveying the info are witty as well
One euphemistic word which sets the alarm bells ringing for me is "bubbly".  We all know what this means  :lol:

Offline Arley Hall

I don't regard them as signs of fluffiness, but they are undoubtedly hackneyed phrases - so they're not brilliant from a stylistic point of view. I don't even see them as euphemisms either - more as attempts at humour. It was funny the first time somebody called a condom a "mac" I guess?

To be fair, it can sometimes be difficult to avoid time-worn expressions. In one of my recent reviews I spent ages trying to think of an alternative way of saying "her pics don't do her justice". In the end I just gave up and prefaced it with a "cliché alert" disclaimer. We are, after all, just trying to put across information - not going after the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Maybe the answer is simply not to mention the things that a reader would assume happened anyway in a punt!? Money always changes hands, condoms are (nearly) always put on, etc etc.
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (Arley Hall, Gwylan)

Offline oring123

A review with any form of words is a plus for all punters
any info is of use
I really hate the picky comments a few spelling mistakes
GET !
Banning reason: Previously banned (306)

Don't mind the euphemisms that much, can't stand lack of detail as in what services were delivered, if the punter doesn't want to share he shouldn't bother with a review. I like reading reviewers' different styles and enjoy the odd metaphor.

Offline webpunter

But compliments to this guy:
"Typical Romanian, makes you feel like a war criminal"
 :hi:
Priceless
Think it might be worth coming up with some new UKP phrases.  So for instance when playing golf there is an "Adolf Hitler" [took two shots in the bunker]
Thankfully UKP reviews don't tend to be delusional like those on AW.  Coz the poster will be ripped to shreds for starters.  This instant feedback doesn't happen on AW & so the reviewer can carry along in blissful ignorance

Offline Steely Dan

I don't mind it if is a one off to be funny or the poster wants to write something different.  But I agree with Nik, I hate it when it becomes the norm.  This particular poster was new and he thought that was the normal phrase to use.  THAT is scary.  Euphemisms should not be the norm.

I am worried that if I look at my reviews I'll find similar.  Oh well.

I also have been taken to task for mentioning things to new posters - even when it was done politely as Nik did in this case.  On reflection I still think this is right. When people are told things as new posters they listen - after a few posts perhaps less so.  And really if someone is so delicate that they cant take a polite comment on their first review, well what I think about that remains between me and ... oh wait I can't say that.

So long as I know what they mean it doesn't bother me, in fact I scarcely notice them. Fluffiness seems more subtle to me than simply using terms such as "the lady" or "put on a hat" or "popped"  etc.

Offline Marmalade

It's horses for courses... Everyone will have their own idiosyncrasies and turns of phrase some of which will maybe sound odd or weird. Thing is, fact they're sharing a review makes me think we should cut them some slack on the style front. Only sort of posting that irks me is nasty, aggressive or angry writing.... Thankfully there's not much of that about on here.

I disagree.

Before disagreeing, I will however say that yes, one shouldn't push it so far that people feel embarrassed if they write a positive review. There are forum review writing guidelines on writing a review. This is UKP. If people want to write in adoring, prossie style, there are other forums. By criticising fluffie reviews (and a high proportion of punters start out fluffie so most of us have been through it) people learn. Hinting gently doesn't work. Many people, including myself, can perhaps sound aggressive, but only write like that to preserve forum integrity, the mainspring of the forum ethos and the only way punters can really help each other to find value-for-money paid sex. It's ok to be angry. When someone really is being an utter aggressive prick, Admin or the mod will step in. Again, see the forum rules for what constitutes abuse. I don't make them: the owner does (It is his site, he pays for it, makes the rules, is pretty transparent in applying them, and to be honest, most established members are very happy with them.)

Now, back to answering your point>

Firstly, everyone has plenty of slack. There's little or no moderation. Reviews aren't edited. Anyone can write what they like.

Secondly, this forum was invented because the reviews on AW and other 'punter' sites (ie websites supported by prossies) are flattering to the point of being useless.

Thirdly, wading through a long fluffy post just to get some facts on whether to book someone is hard enough, without a trillion euphemisms as someone's ego practices its 'style'

Fourthly, the forum exists to help punters, not exchange soft porn

Fifthly, if you are man enough to pay for sex surely you should be man enough for man-to-man honest feedback

Sixth: If fluffies are not criticised they just get worse

Seventh: fluffie reviews tend to be dishonest, the writer deluding himself and other punters


Offline Marmalade

Another one I personally don't like is, "As a Romanian, she is an exception to the rule." She never is. (I did think it of a couple once but they proved me wrong). Better to assume she'll be utterly awful and then be pleasantly surprised that she was only 'poor'.

If someone wants to say a Romanian is "an exception to the rule" they should back it up by having reviewed so many Romanians negatively that I can see what, on their rating scale, among all their negative reviews of Romanians that make the rule, the one they claim is an "exception."

Offline dboy74


"She then placed a mac on dboy junior "
probably told not to use certain naughty words in school English class were we?

Pleased to see I made your short list  :thumbsup:

Some interesting points here and I must admit it's made me rethink a little bit.  I still think it's important we should write in our own styles to keep the variety and to make the reviews more readable than just the same same.  But I also 100% agree with certain phrases being complete bollocks if people are saying them because they think that's the "accepted way" on here.  Embarrassingly I remember whilst writing my first review that I consciously used a euphemism for putting the condom on because I'd read it on so many other reviews previously.  Would I have said such bullshit normally? Would I fuck!  But I fell into the trap of trying to "fit in" as a first time reviewer...which is kinda of pathetic on reflection Ha!  :dash: 

But yes, I think we just got to be own style when it comes to reviewing, something on reflection I wasn't for small parts of my first review. 

Good discussion this...I like it when other people's opinions make me reassess!  :thumbsup:



Offline Arley Hall

I don't mind it if is a one off to be funny or the poster wants to write something different.  But I agree with Nik, I hate it when it becomes the norm.

Yes - it's a bit like somebody has a shop selling clocks, and they call it "Perfect Timing". It must have seemed at great idea (geddit!) to the owners back in 1997 when they started the business, but now their employees curse the name over the shop front every time they turn up for work on a dreary Monday morning.

I'm definitely getting old, because some things in reviews just make me feel rather weary. Talking about "Round 1" and "Round 2" has that effect on me. It reminds me of that scene in Fawlty Towers where the Californian guy staying in the hotel talks about being able to go down to the beach (in California) in the morning and then go skiing in the mountains in the afternoon. Basil's reply is: "That must be very tiring." The boxing metaphor doesn't help either.
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (Arley Hall, Gwylan)


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