Surely if the settlement is adjusted to take account of what you've spent putting then it should also take account of what she has spent on shoes, cushions and face grease (sorry, I should have said rejuvenating lotions)
Fuckin' hell, I might get divorced. With what my Mrs has spent on lotions, potions, clothes, shoes, make-up, nail varnish, visits to the beauticians, hairdressers, hair colourings and all the other things that women seem to need to spend money on over the years, I'd end up with everything!!

And don't get me started on
HANDBAGS!!tcm