Asking a SP out on a date (non paid/non sex)

[daviemac]

I have no problem with that. It’s a friendlier place nowadays and far less confrontational.

Yet as you are encouraging him, you want him to keep up the 'old school' attitude.

[Mutinyonthecounty]

I cannot argue with the logic, the intent or the sentiment.

This community is a far healthier place these days, more inclusive and far less confrontational than it was in the old days. And I think this is for the better. The direction of travel is more positive.

The old forum could be a turbulent and daunting place, especially for new members, which did not foster or encourage inclusivity and contribution. By contrast, this community is much healthier and a more welcoming place these days, especially for new members who are finding their feet.

Thankfully, threads which turn to conflict such as this one are not common place.

As a long standing member of this forum I ought to know better than to stir up or encourage conflict - or give the impression that the ‘old school UKP’ was a great place to be. It was not.

You did the right thing to call out and challenge my poorly timed and thought out comments - and I thank you for this intervention as it highlights the need for us all to think about what we post, before we post it.

[JustaPunter]

Sorry to the mods for starting another thread. I’m crying out for some help and have no where to turn to.

If you piece together the threads I have started there is a theme.

As a background I’ve been seeing an SP regularly. So much so we now communicate on personal phones sharing personal non sexual photos asking how each other are and how our days our going sharing positive motivational messages. I even brought the SP a gift from a vacation I took. And she appreciated it.  I know about her life and she knows mine.

I took a break (to make sure it wasn’t an obsession or infatuation) but saw the SP again and now the feelings have erupted again. Can’t stop thinking about the SP.

I’m now at a point where I’m going to take the leap and ask the SP out. It’s going to be a huge dive because I’m happy to let the universe dictate where this leads to and how it looks and how it works. In fact, I will have no issues if the SP continued working. If they’re happy I’m happy.

Am I making a silly move?

Truth be told she may turn me down. Then we’ll be friends and I meet up and pay for a good time. But see less frequently to get over the infatuation. I’m confident she say yes.

Thoughts please? (Responses from Service provides on this forum I’d like to hear your views)

If an Escort has genuinely shared the information that you suggest then they likely think of you as somebody you can trust.

That doesn’t mean they want to date you or take things further.

You could chose to come clean with how you feel to see if there is a chance that she will still want to see you as a client.

But if there was a possibility of there being something more then it’s likely that the Escort in question would have said something already.

[king tarzan]

Oh do shut the fuck up you are like a broken record ffs 

Someone is giving sound advice

🛑 For your attitude

[versace]

@OP

Any chance of you sharing her profile? Would like to see what the fuss is all about.

[90125]

@OP

Any chance of you sharing her profile? Would like to see what the fuss is all about.

 

[Colston36]

I will look but you could save me 15 mins of my life I won’t get back, if you’ve nothing to hide

Good God, what a childish person that man is.

[Colston36]

So you didn’t end up married with 3 kids living in a detached house?

Go figure

I'm not sure what you're trying to presume about my intentions, but it is irrelevant since you know little about me.

First, I was divorced and already had three kids and a house.

Secondly I then had another relationship - but with a stripper this time. And before you jump to the
predictable wrong conclusions I left her, not the other way round ...

To marry again, but no kids and no detached house, just a penthouse in Mayfair. After which, no more kids, no detached house but something a little grander in the country...

Which being a sucker for punishment I lost in a catastrophic divorce ...

But after more twists and turns there was a happy ending, since I now spend my time paying for perverse sex, and rarely happier.

[hendrix]

I'm not sure what you're trying to presume about my intentions, but it is irrelevant since you know little about me.

First, I was divorced and already had three kids and a house.

Secondly I then had another relationship - but with a stripper this time. And before you jump to the
predictable wrong conclusions I left her, not the other way round ...

To marry again, but no kids and no detached house, just a penthouse in Mayfair. After which, no more kids, no detached house but something a little grander in the country...

Which being a sucker for punishment I lost in a catastrophic divorce ...

But after more twists and turns there was a happy ending, since I now spend my time paying for perverse sex, and rarely happier.

 

[versace]

I'm not sure what you're trying to presume about my intentions, but it is irrelevant since you know little about me.

First, I was divorced and already had three kids and a house.

Secondly I then had another relationship - but with a stripper this time. And before you jump to the
predictable wrong conclusions I left her, not the other way round ...

To marry again, but no kids and no detached house, just a penthouse in Mayfair. After which, no more kids, no detached house but something a little grander in the country...

Which being a sucker for punishment I lost in a catastrophic divorce ...

But after more twists and turns there was a happy ending, since I now spend my time paying for perverse sex, and rarely happier.

Blimey, say no more.

And I thought I had issues…

[finn5555]

Another one posting repetitive nonsense 

Far from nonsense Lou, you have been here long enough to know most are fucked up one way or another and very few are what you would call normal

[tp69]

Blimey, say no more.

And I thought I had issues…

He sounds perfectly fine to me. Not everything in life works out the way you anticipate, and sometimes you know that going in but do it anyway. It's life, we live and learn, fun and otherwise.

[versace]

Far from nonsense Lou, you have been here long enough to know most are fucked up one way or another and very few are what you would call normal

In my experience, those who claim to be normal are in fact the least normal.

[bristolnick]

I'm not sure what you're trying to presume about my intentions, but it is irrelevant since you know little about me.

First, I was divorced and already had three kids and a house.

Secondly I then had another relationship - but with a stripper this time. And before you jump to the
predictable wrong conclusions I left her, not the other way round ...

To marry again, but no kids and no detached house, just a penthouse in Mayfair. After which, no more kids, no detached house but something a little grander in the country...

Which being a sucker for punishment I lost in a catastrophic divorce ...

But after more twists and turns there was a happy ending, since I now spend my time paying for perverse sex, and rarely happier.

Your life story is going to make a great book!

[finn5555]

In my experience, those who claim to be normal are in fact the least normal.

Valid point well made

[Colston36]

In my experience, those who claim to be normal are in fact the least normal.

I don't know if that's true, but why be "normal"? You only come into this life with one thing: yourself. You leave with only one thing: yourself. If you want to be "normal" like everyone else - a sad little carbon copy - you might just as well never have existed.

[versace]

Getting back to the topic… the OP sure is quite about things, not even a single reply to any of the comments made here. 

[king tarzan]

Your life story is going to make a great book!

Life experience knowledge of the world human nature

[Lou2019]

Far from nonsense Lou, you have been here long enough to know most are fucked up one way or another and very few are what you would call normal

Sadly yes ok I do agree finn5555 there are very few of us that are “normal” yep me being one of them believe it or not  Again I say the word sadly as there are lots of sex workers who are damaged I hate to say that word from child abuse, neglect etc but that is common knowledge I feel. Anyway moving on this is a bit too deep

[tynetunnel]

Deleted as I see I commented on a post after which there were more replies than I had realised existed. So it was kind of a bit late. Sorry!

[Doc Holliday]

Getting back to the topic… the OP sure is quite about things, not even a single reply to any of the comments made here. 

Perhaps he took his own advice from last month?

If it’s attraction you’re after, a WG isn’t the answer. Unless you have the looks of Ryan Gosling, the body of Dwayne Johnson and the energy of Tom Cruise, the chances of a WG fancying their client is unlikely.

You’re paying them for their time to give a service.

Anything reciprocal is fake.

If you think there’s a connection, offer to take them out for a coffee.

But be warned, a WG isn’t the best person to start a relationship. That isn’t because of their job/profession, but how you two met.

If there is a user on this forum who met their loved ones via a WG/Client relationship, I would say that is one in a million.

[MissWolf]

Perhaps he took his own advice from last month?

Doc are you trying to say he posts to please the crowd 

[versace]

Perhaps he took his own advice from last month?

And his reply was made a month ago. FFS, talk about change of heart 

Judging by his posts, He seems to be all over the place, from claiming it to be “fake” to being head over heels in love with a WG.

Might as well as lock this topic tbh. The OP doesn’t seem to appreciate all the advice he has gotten so far. Why even start the thread in the first place if you don’t contribute or give any feedback/thoughts on what has been said so far.

Maybe a time wasting fantasist?! 

[daviemac]

Might as well as lock this topic tbh.

Threads don't get locked by request, if you think it's a waste of time don't read it.

[pythondan]

OP this is my advice to you in video form.

External Link/Members Only

You're welcome 

[Thephoenix]

'Normality is a paved road: it's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it'.
.....(Vincent Van Hire).

[Doc Holliday]

Doc are you trying to say he posts to please the crowd 

There is certainly a strong element of that and "wanting to please all the people all of the time", which would account for some of his 'meandering' all over the place, but is certainly not the full picture. It has all been somewhat 'frantic' with 352 posts since he began 18th October and with many thread starters.

My feeling is he probably does have an infatuation with being in a relationship of some description with an SP (probably non sexual?) and there may even be one person in particular, but his main intention is to play out this fantasy to a large forum audience which, he constantly praises the wisdom of and wants to fit into.

[watsey]

I'm embarrassed to say that I've got the T-shirt on this one and my advice is don't do it.
iamnotfamous, you can PM me if you wish. 

[king tarzan]

I'm embarrassed to say that I've got the T-shirt on this one and my advice is don't do it.
iamnotfamous, you can PM me if you wish. 

Poor bloke has been targeted for his factual opinions

[Happiness]

It is meant to be a professional relationship in my opinion.

[JonasG]

Dating an escort lol, the thought should never enter a punter's mind. Even if she initiates you should fob her off.

If you want to date, date or be in a relationship. There's plenty of avenues to meet women for you to achieve that.

The whole EAS/wanting to be more than a client with escorts thing boggles my mind.

[king tarzan]

Dating an escort lol, the thought should never enter a punter's mind. Even if she initiates you should fob her off.

If you want to date, date or be in a relationship. There's plenty of avenues to meet women for you to achieve that.

The whole EAS/wanting to be more than a client with escorts thing boggles my mind.

You seem a sound up bloke.. sadly there are others complete opposito

[Doc Holliday]

Dating an escort lol, the thought should never enter a punter's mind. Even if she initiates you should fob her off.

I agree with the first bit, but the second part is the difficult one. Let's say you have returned to visit an SP having enjoyed your previous visit(s) and she proposes meeting again for sex, but with no payment involved.

How many would turn it down and fob her off?

[JonasG]

I agree with the first bit, but the second part is the difficult one. Let's say you have returned to visit an SP having enjoyed your previous visit(s) and she proposes meeting again for sex, but with no payment involved.

How many would turn it down and fob her off?

Yeah in a FWB scenario then for sure most guys won't turn it down and neither would I.

But in terms of dating and being a relationship with one, it's doomed from the start.

[hendrix]

Yeah in a FWB scenario then for sure most guys won't turn it down and neither would I.

But in terms of dating and being a relationship with one, it's doomed from the start.

Mostly, probably. But I can think of at least three punter/escort relationships that are as successful as anybody else's I know after more than 5 years.

It's probably a bad idea as stated. However, I don't think the OP is actually interested in the topic other than to wank or laugh over.

[Thephoenix]

Yeah in a FWB scenario then for sure most guys won't turn it down and neither would I.

But in terms of dating and being a relationship with one, it's doomed from the start.

Not necessarily!
Over the years I've met lots of couples in long term relationships who are swingers or provide sexual services either together or as a couple.

There's been lots of similar threads and the only thing we can probably agree with, was the comment from one of our members:  the distinguished  'Bonker',  who in a moment of philosophical genius and insight coined the phrase:......'It depends!'


Surely that sums up this whole discussion?

Somehow I doubt it!

[king tarzan]

Not necessarily!
Over the years I've met lots of couples in long term relationships who are swingers or provide sexual services either together or as a couple.

There's been lots of similar threads and the only thing we can probably agree with, was the comment from one of our members:  the distinguished  'Bonker',  who in a moment of philosophical genius and insight coined the phrase:......'It depends!'


Surely that sums up this whole discussion?

Somehow I doubt it!

How can these categories even be classified as couples..
Nonsense relationship's is more the appropriate terms

[Thephoenix]

How can these categories even be classified as couples..
Nonsense relationship's is more the appropriate terms

Of course, they would tell you otherwise, but I guess you wouldn't listen chum.

....Oops forgot!.....'It depends!'

Ps....What do you classify as couples KT?

[lillythesavage]

Of course, they would tell you otherwise, but I guess you wouldn't listen chum.

....Oops forgot!.....'It depends!'

Ps....What do you classify as couples KT?

This should be an interesting reply, NOT  .

Should add a few to the ignore list though, think I will wait to read the reply first 

[Doc Holliday]

Ps....What do you classify as couples KT?

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Doc Holliday]

There's been lots of similar threads and the only thing we can probably agree with, was the comment from one of our members:  the distinguished  'Bonker',  who in a moment of philosophical genius and insight coined the phrase:......'It depends!'


Surely that sums up this whole discussion?

Somehow I doubt it!

  Yes that was a succinct and highly accurate post.

[Doc Holliday]

Yeah in a FWB scenario then for sure most guys won't turn it down and neither would I.

The problem with such an arrangement be it with and SP or a civvy, is that it is difficult (though not impossible) to have mutually great sex without the probability of 'feelings' developing for one or both participants. At what point does shagging become 'making love'?

In the world of 2022 many relationships begin with sex and develop from there .. or don't. At what point do you pull the plug?

[JD1]

The problem with such an arrangement be it with and SP or a civvy, is that it is difficult (though not impossible) to have mutually great sex without the probability of 'feelings' developing for one or both participants. At what point does shagging become 'making love'?

In the world of 2022 many relationships begin with sex and develop from there .. or don't. At what point do you pull the plug?

I agree with this. I’ve actually stopped seeing civilians for this reason - always ends up escalating beyond just FWB. I prefer to keep it strictly business.

[Thephoenix]

Hidden Image/Members Only

 

[IAmNotFamous]

Sorry I’ve been quiet on this. I appreciate everyone’s feedback. Firstly, it was not my intention to start a thread for it to flare up. Given the atmosphere within this thread, I took a step back. Secondly, I appreciate all of the supportive comments I received from within the thread and privately. Thirdly, I know that I may not be popular with some members. My beginning here did not start well. I held my hand up and apologised for any offence caused. I’m from the school of thought where if a person apologises that everyone moves on. I understand some members may not accept that apology. For that I ask if you can forgive me for my past errors. I’ve learnt from that and following the rules. I’ve lost count, think I’m on number four, I know I may have breached the rules for preferring to hear from SPs. Sorry. Finally, was this a fantasy playing out. This is why I started a thread, I wanted to see other people’s views. If I’m their view it was a fantasy playing out, I take that. Maybe it was. Im not good at assessing my own self and rely on others to do that. And I appreciate that 100%.

With that aside. This is what happened. The SP asked me (finally - I didn’t have the balls to ask) But asked that I be patient as they are going through a divorce, moving out, and to wait until they move out (not sure why I switched pronouns but am at work so in work mode but is a she) and found a place of their own. Looking at next week. I said I was happy to wait.

That’s where we are.

Again, thanks for the responses. I am sorry if I offended it was unintentional.

If truth be told, I felt better mentally after starting the thread and my thoughts were more clearer.

In real life, I’m good as giving advice and support to people. I aim to transfer that to this forum. It’s a good skill to have but sometimes I can’t do it for myself. Hence the reaching out.

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for bearing with me 👍🏼

Happy punting but don’t forget…Christmas is round the corner 👍🏼

[tynetunnel]

The only way you’re going to find out, is to do it. Or die wondering!

You risk that she is so horror struck that she deletes your numbers and you never see her again. Equally there’s a chance that she’s been wanting this and that the two of you live happily ever after. Or possibly the outcome will be something in between

I think you know the answer. Life is a gamble, and you’ve got to be in it to win it. Let us know how it goes 

I know I’m quoting my own post, which may be considered bad form. So you didn’t ask her, she asked you. You’ve accepted.  Well done. My final paragraph still stands. Good luck 

[Colston36]

I agree with the first bit, but the second part is the difficult one. Let's say you have returned to visit an SP having enjoyed your previous visit(s) and she proposes meeting again for sex, but with no payment involved.

How many would turn it down and fob her off?

I didn't. It happened to me 3 years ago ... and then after about 6 months of the most amazing times she just went off sex - with me or anyone else. We're still friends, but that's all.

[Bru1901]

Op

Offer to go away for a few days at discounted rate

Spend time with her and see if its all business

If it is avoid

If you get along then pose the question

Escorts are good actresses - remember that

[Thephoenix]

Escorts are good actresses - remember that

So are many punter's.

[Punting2022]

If its free OP go for it, if you can cope with her job make a go of it. Maybe you can sway her away from escorting.