Please recommend someone for me to lose my virginity

[southcoastpunter]

Terrible advice imo, women do not tend to subscribe to such black-and-white rules as that lol. Everyone’s different. 

it always makes me laugh when guys start answering questions that can only really be answered by a lady and/or start making sweeping statements such as

No woman is going to be attracted to your intellect, it will always come behind looks and resources. 

so Mr punterton, what has made you the expert on women - to the extent that you can say "no woman" - not "most women" or even "many women" but "no woman"!

[anishgeek]

Found this thread after replying to the escort review post as it's the only part of the site that I normally frequent.  My replies may be harsh but sometimes that is the only way:

It certainly seems like you are aiming for women that out of your league.  There is no such as thing as the friendzone, if she is attracted to you and you have resources you will never enter the friendzone unless she is already involved with someone in which case she will keep you in her orbit as a standby if things go wrong with her current partner.

You think it's immoral to have sex with a woman who is offering it to you as means to get into a relationship?  What do you think about their morals for being willing to do that?  Guess what, there is no difference between those women and the women that are friend zoning you, if you was good looking enough the ones friendzoning you would be offering you the same proposition.  This makes sense if you are getting tinder offers, as on tinder the women are also unrealistic, you will get offers from women who are slightly below you on the looks scale.

It could be solely due to culture but I am pretty certain you have unrealistic views and expectations of what women actually are and have an elevated view of yourself. No woman is going to be attracted to your intellect, it will always come behind looks and resources.  This mythical woman you have in your head does not exist and will never exist.  I will hedge that where you are from most marriages where traditionally arranged so it did n't matter that the cultural view vs reality was distorted.

You need to be honest with yourself and be more introspective.  What is more important: that you lose your viginity or who you lose it to?  Does it matter who you lose it to?  Does it matter if does n't match your expectations?  Would you have sex with an escort from your own country if there was no chance of being caught?  If not why not?

This has been interesting for me. My experience with the forum and my one punt.

I'd like to think I know myself well and am brutally honest to myself. But framing things that happened is tricky. It's quite hard to understand but the narrative you spin actually affects the truth.

The way I choose to see myself affects my self esteem. There is less of an objective reality I'm trying to discover and more of a spectrum. A lot of this is self fulfilling prophecies. The truth is underdetermined by such facts, you have to decide what has salience. Which aspects you focus or ignore.

Anyway with that caveat out of the way.

I know and agree I am going for women far out of my league and porn has definitely a lot to blame. I also find it hard to internalize just how little value my intellect has to most girls.

But attraction seems to be non negotiable. I know what I want and I'm willing to work towards the goal. It's too early for me to give up and compromise.

The growth mindset means I channel my failures to become motivation to grow and become someone in their league. I know my potential and I would be willing to take the settle approach if I felt I had hit a limit.

I was discussing one possible reason why I might have reservations. Part of it is me growing up and parents drilling it into my head "don't break a girls heart".
Part of it is me scared that I'd think with my dick, let my positive sentiment override take over and marry someone who isn't a good long term fit.

Limerence, love and sex are dangerous stuff that can bias my long term decision making in bad directions.

I'm totally open to the possibility that the holy grail I'm looking for doesn't exist. Honestly at this point I'm pretty convinced that I need experience and dating people is the only way I can learn more about what I want in relationships and sex. So yeah it's a whole process to go from rationally understanding this to emotionally grokking it.

You are right. My parents are trying to push me to get into an arranged marriage. Lmao imagine that gamble.

Nah virginity is not a big deal to me. Escorts are fine too if I believe it was a legitimate consensual transaction. But like others said, I tried the experiment.

Maybe I was nervous, maybe she wasn't hot enough, but it often isn't one reason for most stuff. I know atleast a large part of the reason was that I wasn't really looking for sex.

It was clear then. What I was seeking... I've been in love, I've been physically intimate (not sex) with her. I wanted that high and mechanical sex? I'd rather get a sex doll.

But yeah maybe experienced escorts can act so well that I'd be convinced of that connection, that she is attracted to me. But to some extent I need to let go, suspend disbelief, I don't think I can do that now.

Maybe the next time I'm in the uk. If I try now it will likely be a waste of money lmao. I can hardly feel horny looking at hot girls in London nowadays. Haha it feels almost like I'm traumatized. Or maybe I'm free now? I used to be so horny all the time. Now in some sense I realised that no matter how pretty the girl is, it matters not unless she likes me back. I don't want to fuck her.

Not sure if I want to give up on the peace of mind I have now. My career is very important to the world and maybe my productivity is worth protecting.

But yeah a massage seems worth the money. So I would like to try that haha..

[Crockers]

I think your parents and culture has stunted you emotionally, sexually and as an independent grown up who can make decisions for himself.

Stand on your own two feet. (I'm Anglo Indian heritage.)

[mrpunterton]

Terrible advice imo, women do not tend to subscribe to such black-and-white rules as that lol. Everyone’s different. 

It's a good enough rule of thumb for this guys purposes to avoid falling into traps, last thing he needs is to be trying to be a friend with a woman who has turned down his advances in the hope it will develop into something else. 

[mrpunterton]

so Mr punterton, what has made you the expert on women - to the extent that you can say "no woman" - not "most women" or even "many women" but "no woman"!

Again, everyone being pedantic but it's a good enough rule of thumb that if a woman does n't find you physically attractive, your intellect is n't going to win her over.  Sure in the right circumstances (such as a work environment) it could happen but if he's betting on it he's looking at a lifetime of lonelyness as the statistics are not in his favour.

[southcoastpunter]

Again, everyone being pedantic but it's a good enough rule of thumb

saying its a good rule of thumb (to think a certain way) is very different to saying NO woman is going to....

[mrpunterton]

This has been interesting for me. My experience with the forum and my one punt.

I know some of these responses have been harsh and I do feel for you because I see some of the same mistakes I made in my youth.. the problem is you can't look at relationships between men a women logically, you will get lost in a world of contradictions.

The same way that you say you are can not change who you are attracted to also applies to the way women about men, we act in a primal level as if we where still living in caves.  There is a vaneer of sophistication that makes it appear otherwise but underneeth we all act on instinct.

Don't get angry with yourself and definitely don't get angry with women in general as this can only lead you onto a darkpath.

The good news is that as you get older your hormones get weaker, I certainly are n't attracted to the same type of woman I was in my 20s and I am glad I did not end up with the women I was chasing in my youth as it would have been a disaster.

I am pretty sure that in your culture you are brought up to think that women who enjoy sex or are not-virgins are bad/tainted.  In that environment men can develop a "mother/whore" complex where you can only see women as mothers or whores.  This is especially can be the case if you mother has been very strict with you in your upbringing.  It could be that you saw a friendly escort in a sympathetic way which made you unable to perform, it is just a hypothesis but you need to ask yourself if this applies to you.

You are definitely putting too much pressure on yourself regarding not just sex but I think love also.  If you go through life trying to not make mistakes you will end up just making bigger ones.  It's easy to say but you need to learn to let go abit, but I realise it can be hard if you have parental and peer pressure on you. 

As others have said, get a massage next time but with someone who is friendly and speaks english.. have a chat with them whilst they do their business, it may help remove any unconscious attitudes you may have about sex workers.

Regardles I wish you the best of luck.

[mrpunterton]

saying its a good rule of thumb (to think a certain way) is very different to saying NO woman is going to....

The last thing this guy needs is nuances, for all intents and purposes in his case it's basically no woman. Giving him hope for something that is statistically extremely unlikely to happen is not helping him.

[Liverpool]

My career is very important to the world

Don't tell us OP, it's not our business, but I can't be the only one wondering what you do for a living.

This has to be THE boldest claim ever made on this site.

[anishgeek]

Don't tell us OP, it's not our business, but I can't be the only one wondering what you do for a living.

This has to be THE boldest claim ever made on this site.

Lmao I was going to make a more wild claim but I held back.

Broadly... I work on reducing existential threats to humanity. Think about preventing future pandemics worse than covid... More virulent, higher mortality rate. I'm obfuscating here obviously but you get the idea. We don't want nuclear war, or other stuff to kill all of us... Black swan events are a thing.

Considering the current threat landscape I'm pretty worried shit is gonna hit the fan. Not sure I can do much honestly but I'm gonna try my best. I don't think right now I am that important to the field but there is potential that's for sure.

My advice to y'all would be to get started on your bucket lists and not leave shit for the long term future.

I'd not even be trying punting if I didn't have a very pessimistic outlook on the future. But I hope I'm wrong. Maybe our civilization isn't as inadequate as all the evidence seems to indicate...

[VisitorX]

Hi OP, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I gather from your last posts that you did end up meeting an escort and the experience wasn't too satisfactory. Don't let that demoralise you, it's perfectly normal for someone having their first experience, particularly with a complete stranger to just not feel the spark.

If you're still interested in meeting escorts before you go back home, here are a few suggestions:
- Book a slightly longer appointment: at least one hour, 90 minutes, even two hours. This will allow you to get comfortable with the lady and not feel under additional pressure to perform or to make the most of the time. You can always leave sooner (but don't ask them to refund you the money for the rest of the time unless you discussed that with them before booking).
- Choose someone personable: I know this might sound ridiculous when talking about someone you're primarily meeting for sex, but it makes all the difference. I might be opening myself up to mockery from the other posters, but you can gauge the personality from what they write about themselves, from speaking to them on the phone (you can ask for a number if they don't provide one on their profile, but be sure to let them know it for a short conversation).
- Figure out what you want out of the meeting: I know you want to lose your virginity, but what else? I would suggest that what you want is a sensual meeting with a woman, where you can feel comfortable with her, enjoy her company, dare I say even a nice conversation and then enjoy a physical connection, not just sex, but everything from touching, kissing, cuddling, etc.

I will go out on a limb to say there are things you think you want but you really don't:
- You're not looking for the hottest woman you could ever meet. You can meet most aesthetically pleasing woman and she turns out to be a cold fish or, even worse, someone who really really doesn't want to be escorting.
- You're not looking for the cheapest or the most expensive person: there are wonderful escorts (as defined above) at most price-points. I would suggest that if you budget GBP 300 - 500 you can find a great escort very easily. This can be someone charging 150 - 300 for an hour. Don't negotiate the price but do ask if everything on their likes list is included.
- You're not looking for a set of services: you might think you might want anal or watersports or whatever else, but ultimately, it's about the experience as a whole. I would suggest that you want someone who at least practices French Kissing and Oral Without, but everything else is expendable.

So ideally, you want to schedule a 1-2 hour meet with someone who is doing this as a side-hustle. I would say that going with british women is best as they will be easier to communicate with and are more likely to be doing it part time. Don't be shy about telling them that you're not experienced. You can even ask them to take the lead. Ask if they would enjoy a bottle of wine (assuming you drink) or any other refreshment you can share (assuming you or they don't). Some will ask you for a presentation by email or sms, they're asking for your age, your ethnicity/nationality and a name (you don't have to use your real name). Ask to speak to them by phone to discuss details and explain that it will be a short call, hearing their voice will allow you to have a sense of whom you're going to meet. Given your age, aim for escorts 25-35. They are likely to have enough experience to offer a good service but not be too jaded from the work. And allow yourself to just go for it, if you feel interested in an escort but she doesn't tick all the boxes, who cares, just try it, the worst that can happen is a mediocre punt.

Anyway, hope this helps.
-

[daviemac]

Hi OP, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

18 months a member and this is your first post, what qualifies you to give advice about punting, you don't appear to do so yourself.   

[VisitorX]

I don't feel the need to post unless I have something helpful to contribute.

[VisitorX]

And this post makes 3, I'm on a roll!

[daviemac]

I don't feel the need to post unless I have something helpful to contribute.

Not much point in you being here then is there.

Edit

You didn't answer the question, what qualifies you to give punting advice.   

[Punterperson1971]

Hi OP, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I gather from your last posts that you did end up meeting an escort and the experience wasn't too satisfactory. Don't let that demoralise you, it's perfectly normal for someone having their first experience, particularly with a complete stranger to just not feel the spark.

If you're still interested in meeting escorts before you go back home, here are a few suggestions:
- Book a slightly longer appointment: at least one hour, 90 minutes, even two hours. This will allow you to get comfortable with the lady and not feel under additional pressure to perform or to make the most of the time. You can always leave sooner (but don't ask them to refund you the money for the rest of the time unless you discussed that with them before booking).
- Choose someone personable: I know this might sound ridiculous when talking about someone you're primarily meeting for sex, but it makes all the difference. I might be opening myself up to mockery from the other posters, but you can gauge the personality from what they write about themselves, from speaking to them on the phone (you can ask for a number if they don't provide one on their profile, but be sure to let them know it for a short conversation).
- Figure out what you want out of the meeting: I know you want to lose your virginity, but what else? I would suggest that what you want is a sensual meeting with a woman, where you can feel comfortable with her, enjoy her company, dare I say even a nice conversation and then enjoy a physical connection, not just sex, but everything from touching, kissing, cuddling, etc.

I will go out on a limb to say there are things you think you want but you really don't:
- You're not looking for the hottest woman you could ever meet. You can meet most aesthetically pleasing woman and she turns out to be a cold fish or, even worse, someone who really really doesn't want to be escorting.
- You're not looking for the cheapest or the most expensive person: there are wonderful escorts (as defined above) at most price-points. I would suggest that if you budget GBP 300 - 500 you can find a great escort very easily. This can be someone charging 150 - 300 for an hour. Don't negotiate the price but do ask if everything on their likes list is included.
- You're not looking for a set of services: you might think you might want anal or watersports or whatever else, but ultimately, it's about the experience as a whole. I would suggest that you want someone who at least practices French Kissing and Oral Without, but everything else is expendable.

So ideally, you want to schedule a 1-2 hour meet with someone who is doing this as a side-hustle. I would say that going with british women is best as they will be easier to communicate with and are more likely to be doing it part time. Don't be shy about telling them that you're not experienced. You can even ask them to take the lead. Ask if they would enjoy a bottle of wine (assuming you drink) or any other refreshment you can share (assuming you or they don't). Some will ask you for a presentation by email or sms, they're asking for your age, your ethnicity/nationality and a name (you don't have to use your real name). Ask to speak to them by phone to discuss details and explain that it will be a short call, hearing their voice will allow you to have a sense of whom you're going to meet. Given your age, aim for escorts 25-35. They are likely to have enough experience to offer a good service but not be too jaded from the work. And allow yourself to just go for it, if you feel interested in an escort but she doesn't tick all the boxes, who cares, just try it, the worst that can happen is a mediocre punt.

Anyway, hope this helps.
-

Fucking hell where was you when I started punting could of done with your help based on all that experience you have you must have had loads of meets in last 18 months………..????? Oh wait no you haven’t 

[PLeisure]

I don't feel the need to post unless I have something helpful to contribute.

What have you been doing all this time, then. Leeching?

[jesse4585]

parents drilling it into my head "don't break a girls heart".

Same. And my parents are traditional English. It was so long ago that I cant be 100%, but seem to recall my Mum saying something along the lines of it being better to go with a whore than break the heart of a lass I wasn't willing to settle down with.

no matter how pretty the girl is, it matters not unless she likes me back. I don't want to fuck her

A WG will like you back more than you might expect. Many of them have lower 'sexual disgust' and far higher sex drives than the typical woman. I'm probably far less attractive than you considering my age, but even I've had sessions where they show unfakeable signs of attraction like a marketed increase in wetness or pussy becoming swolen. I'm something of a care bear perhaps similar to yourself, and my experience is quite a few WGs like our type.

I work on reducing existential threats

All the more reason to crack the virginity problem. Except perhaps if youre working on a narrow technical problem - then there might be a case for sublimating your sex drive to max productivity.  But for most work involving species & civilisation level risk one needs to understand the socio/political, and youre better able to do than if you've rounded experience of one of the most fundamental drives for all human activity.

Limerence, love and sex are dangerous stuff that can bias my long term decision making in bad directions.

They can also massively increase your energy for above important work.

it feels almost like I'm traumatized

Man up!

a massage seems worth the money.

I'd share knowledge on massage specialists if I had any, but I dont. As a last piece of advise, consider booking an hour with one of the WG's folk have recommended above. Then at the start of the session say you might only want a massage (and alternate between you massaging her & vice versa, other wise she'll be tired out.). Then there should be no pressure, but you might find something happens, especially if you don't have a wank for 5-7 says before hand. None can say whether you'd need just one or even tens more attempts to get over the nerves things, but each repetition should increase the familiarity.

[anishgeek]

Consider booking an hour with one of the WG's folk have recommended above. Then at the start of the session say you might only want a massage (and alternate between you massaging her & vice versa, other wise she'll be tired out.). Then there should be no pressure, but you might find something happens, especially if you don't have a wank for 5-7 says before hand. None can say whether you'd need just one or even tens more attempts to get over the nerves things, but each repetition should increase the familiarity.

Yeah more attempts might help. Worth considering as an option. Sadly I am leaving soon and am busy with so much work, I hardly have time to sit down and really analyze this properly. It just feels like I might be wasting way too much money. 10 more attempts where I just can't see the sex worker as a sexual being. It is quite sad when I look at girls I used to see them as sexual being now I am somehow seeing them at a level level of abstraction - just flesh and bones. Super weird... maybe I was asexual all along and just fooled myself into thinking I was this horny person? no... well I was honestly surprised at my emotional response to the punt. I need to assimilate that and update my world and self model so that it becomes coherent.

Thanks for your advice and from what I have read, in most cases I think the sex worker is just really good at convincing you. I can't imagine they actually desire or are attracted to their client. But who knows humans are weird, maybe oxytocin, in the moment there is a connection between two humans who are having their needs met. idk Fascinating stuff either way.

[IAmNotFamous]

If it’s attraction you’re after, a WG isn’t the answer. Unless you have the looks of Ryan Gosling, the body of Dwayne Johnson and the energy of Tom Cruise, the chances of a WG fancying their client is unlikely.

You’re paying them for their time to give a service.

Anything reciprocal is fake.

If you think there’s a connection, offer to take them out for a coffee.

But be warned, a WG isn’t the best person to start a relationship. That isn’t because of their job/profession, but how you two met.

If there is a user on this forum who met their loved ones via a WG/Client relationship, I would say that is one in a million.

[anishgeek]

Hi OP, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I gather from your last posts that you did end up meeting an escort and the experience wasn't too satisfactory. Don't let that demoralise you, it's perfectly normal for someone having their first experience, particularly with a complete stranger to just not feel the spark.

If you're still interested in meeting escorts before you go back home, here are a few suggestions:
- Book a slightly longer appointment: at least one hour, 90 minutes, even two hours. This will allow you to get comfortable with the lady and not feel under additional pressure to perform or to make the most of the time. You can always leave sooner (but don't ask them to refund you the money for the rest of the time unless you discussed that with them before booking).
- Choose someone personable: I know this might sound ridiculous when talking about someone you're primarily meeting for sex, but it makes all the difference. I might be opening myself up to mockery from the other posters, but you can gauge the personality from what they write about themselves, from speaking to them on the phone (you can ask for a number if they don't provide one on their profile, but be sure to let them know it for a short conversation).
- Figure out what you want out of the meeting: I know you want to lose your virginity, but what else? I would suggest that what you want is a sensual meeting with a woman, where you can feel comfortable with her, enjoy her company, dare I say even a nice conversation and then enjoy a physical connection, not just sex, but everything from touching, kissing, cuddling, etc.

I will go out on a limb to say there are things you think you want but you really don't:
- You're not looking for the hottest woman you could ever meet. You can meet most aesthetically pleasing woman and she turns out to be a cold fish or, even worse, someone who really really doesn't want to be escorting.
- You're not looking for the cheapest or the most expensive person: there are wonderful escorts (as defined above) at most price-points. I would suggest that if you budget GBP 300 - 500 you can find a great escort very easily. This can be someone charging 150 - 300 for an hour. Don't negotiate the price but do ask if everything on their likes list is included.
- You're not looking for a set of services: you might think you might want anal or watersports or whatever else, but ultimately, it's about the experience as a whole. I would suggest that you want someone who at least practices French Kissing and Oral Without, but everything else is expendable.

So ideally, you want to schedule a 1-2 hour meet with someone who is doing this as a side-hustle. I would say that going with british women is best as they will be easier to communicate with and are more likely to be doing it part time. Don't be shy about telling them that you're not experienced. You can even ask them to take the lead. Ask if they would enjoy a bottle of wine (assuming you drink) or any other refreshment you can share (assuming you or they don't). Some will ask you for a presentation by email or sms, they're asking for your age, your ethnicity/nationality and a name (you don't have to use your real name). Ask to speak to them by phone to discuss details and explain that it will be a short call, hearing their voice will allow you to have a sense of whom you're going to meet. Given your age, aim for escorts 25-35. They are likely to have enough experience to offer a good service but not be too jaded from the work. And allow yourself to just go for it, if you feel interested in an escort but she doesn't tick all the boxes, who cares, just try it, the worst that can happen is a mediocre punt.

Anyway, hope this helps.
-

Thanks a lot for your advice kind stranger. That is what I tried with abby - booked an hour before to talk and then 30 mins for sex itself. But I think the mistake I made like others said is not go for a person with tons of positive reviews.

I think I finally "get" that I will be able to enjoy, learn from having sex with a person that is not a bombshell looks wise. Often photos are deceptive and a lot is about body language and the specific chemistry you share with the individual. I just have a very specific sensitivity. Like most girls are meh to me sexually and like 10% of them are like wow 10/10. It is just incomparable. The girls I find attractive are literally a million times more attractive than the average girl. But all that is in my head and simulations.

In person like others would know, they can sound stupid, rude, be passive, not communicate well and so on. While this attraction level can change with time. Since I am in UK and have so many options I was trying to pick girls I found attractive in that wow 10/10 sense rather than focus on reviews.

External Link/Members Only chloe sadly has no slots before I leave.

External Link/Members Only

External Link/Members Only

There are others in the list I had made but if I get time I think I will try to check girls reviewed in the last 2 months, with at least 10 positive reviews and then among them contact the one I find the most attractive.

Porn did ruin me, I have stopped it for like a few months now but years of optimizing my porn experience will be hard to undo. It is quite sad, I know I am not alone in this state.

Anyway yeah I agree with you, sensual meeting would be great. I am quite horrible at flirting but I have felt great in the past when girls have tried to flirt with me. They usually try for quite some time before they see how bad I am at returning banter. I will look out for kissing, and really read the review. Things are a bit rushed but I might give it another go. A bad punt really does not have that much downside risk.

[tp69]

Thanks a lot for your advice kind stranger. That is what I tried with abby - booked an hour before to talk and then 30 mins for sex itself. But I think the mistake I made like others said is not go for a person with tons of positive reviews.

I think I finally "get" that I will be able to enjoy, learn from having sex with a person that is not a bombshell looks wise. Often photos are deceptive and a lot is about body language and the specific chemistry you share with the individual. I just have a very specific sensitivity. Like most girls are meh to me sexually and like 10% of them are like wow 10/10. It is just incomparable. The girls I find attractive are literally a million times more attractive than the average girl. But all that is in my head and simulations.

We're all attracted to 10/10's, but you'll eventually meet a partner you connect with and will realise that her 7/10 is your 10/10. You seem to mention this a lot as a reason to not shag a 7/10 but that's probably more to do with your over-analysis and inability to see sex as sex.

I'm not convinced you should be seeing WG's at all. However, unless you lighten up, you're not going to get laid for a long while either.

Good luck, and don't get too distracted from saving the planet please 

[VisitorX]

What have you been doing all this time, then. Leeching?

I'm not sure what's behind this strange hostility. I saw a topic I thought was interesting, read the replies, felt that there was something to say that hadn't been said by others and pitched in. If you find what I wrote useful, great, if you don't that's okay too, if you feel you want to comment on it, correct it or even completely reject it, be my guest. That's how internet forums have worked... since the invention of internet forums!

Do you know what a leech does? It sucks blood out of an unwitting victim, weakening them and feeding itself. If you feel so assaulted by someone reading the posts you and others have voluntarily shared (and what? not reciprocating to the extent you see fit?) maybe you should reconsider why you share them in the first place. Would you have rather I posted a thousand inane comments than one genuine and consiered response?

I did think to myself "should I be sharing this with a bunch of strangers?" and then I thought "yes, if someone can benefit from it, why not". Again, not sure what your problem is, but I think we can all do with a little more consideration.

[Punterperson1971]

Well I’d rather you not share anything because it seems all you do is leech,this site wouldn’t be here as others have said to leeches like you if it wasn’t for people taking time out and contributing……you know none leeching stuff.
Oh and I’ll give you the definition of a leech.
One who comes on to a forum and takes the piss by taking all the information he can get from a forum and selfishly uses it for his own gains.
Go on Google it
 

[Punterperson1971]

Double post in error

[VisitorX]

Thanks a lot for your advice kind stranger. That is what I tried with abby - booked an hour before to talk and then 30 mins for sex itself. But I think the mistake I made like others said is not go for a person with tons of positive reviews.

I think I finally "get" that I will be able to enjoy, learn from having sex with a person that is not a bombshell looks wise. Often photos are deceptive and a lot is about body language and the specific chemistry you share with the individual. I just have a very specific sensitivity. Like most girls are meh to me sexually and like 10% of them are like wow 10/10. It is just incomparable. The girls I find attractive are literally a million times more attractive than the average girl. But all that is in my head and simulations.

No worries, we're all learning as we go. I understand what you mean with holding some women as extremely attractive and others as not at all. I think it's partly because we live in a highly mediatised time where you are exposed to a lot more women (who are airbrushed, photoshopped, etc.) than you would have otherwise and the women around you can't seem to measure up.

This also applies to browsing escorts online, you feel so overwhelmed by the choice and the infinite number of variables that it ends up causing you anxiety rather than relaxation or excitement.

Ultimately, as you get more and more experience with women (not just escorts), you'll start identifying the things that really matter to you and that distance between the highly attractive stranger (celebrity, model, escort, etc.) and the personally important person (an acquaintance, a friend, a girlfriend, etc.) will start to shrink and you'll soon see what's differently appealing in both. And by experience I mean anything that brings you closer, even if you know for a fact that you're not going to have anything physical with her. I think ultimately, we're all looking for intimacy and sex is the most intimate act we can conceive, so we see it as the prize, but there are plenty of lovely things along the way.

Anyway, now I'm rambling, hope you have a good stay and safe travels.

[limarasa9]

Someone recommended parties earlier and you said you are scared of it but I think you need to go there with a different mindset. Since you get aroused by porn, go to a party thinking that you are going to watch live porn. I am hoping you will get hard when you start watching these people having sex all around you. Once you are hard enough, start shagging the girl who’s available but continue watching other people having sex if that’s what is going to keep you hard. By the time you realise what’s happening you would’ve released your load for the first time ever inside a real girl. If nothing of this happens then at least you will have the satisfaction of watching some live porn 

[Punterperson1971]

Yep your rambling who cares…..bye

[Liverpool]

I'm not sure what's behind this strange hostility. I saw a topic I thought was interesting, read the replies, felt that there was something to say that hadn't been said by others and pitched in. If you find what I wrote useful, great, if you don't that's okay too, if you feel you want to comment on it, correct it or even completely reject it, be my guest. That's how internet forums have worked... since the invention of internet forums!

Do you know what a leech does? It sucks blood out of an unwitting victim, weakening them and feeding itself. If you feel so assaulted by someone reading the posts you and others have voluntarily shared (and what? not reciprocating to the extent you see fit?) maybe you should reconsider why you share them in the first place. Would you have rather I posted a thousand inane comments than one genuine and consiered response?

I did think to myself "should I be sharing this with a bunch of strangers?" and then I thought "yes, if someone can benefit from it, why not". Again, not sure what your problem is, but I think we can all do with a little more consideration.

When someone who's been a member of a forum for 20 months and their 1st posts are ones that you would expect of a seasoned punter you are always going to have people wonder: where are your reviews? What are you giving back to the forum? Your posts, while seemingly well written and well considered, are coming from someone with no credibility to back it up.

What are we to think you've been doing for 20 months, other than reading the reviews and sorting out yourself a nice little hot list? Before you answer this, remember, the moderators can check to see you log in history

[VisitorX]

Well I’d rather you not share anything because it seems all you do is leech,this site wouldn’t be here as others have said to leeches like you if it wasn’t for people taking time out and contributing……you know none leeching stuff.
Oh and I’ll give you the definition of a leech.
One who comes on to a forum and takes the piss by taking all the information he can get from a forum and selfishly uses it for his own gains.
Go on Google it
 

So you want me not to share anything... because I didn't share anything before? You want me not to give information... because you believe any information I might give is "leeching stuff"?

What you're describing in your definition (and I did google "leech forum" but got no results... apart from forums on actual, literal leeches) is a free-rider: someone who benefits from a community resource without contributing to it. And yet, when I try to contribute with something personal, considered and relevant to another user's question, I'm somehow worse than a free-rider?

You might disagree completely with what I have to say, you might think I'm naive, foolish or worse for saying it, but berating me for saying it seems counterproductive, no?

Again, not sure where this is coming from but it doesn't make much sense and it certainly doesn't seem like a healthy outlook. I know that sounds arrogant, but I really mean it. What starts out as a helpful internet community for people to have better real life outcomes can become a toxic environment where people put far too much time and effort on policing perceived slights.

Take care.

[VisitorX]

When someone who's been a member of a forum for 20 months and their 1st posts are ones that you would expect of a seasoned punter you are always going to have people wonder: where are your reviews? What are you giving back to the forum? Your posts, while seemingly well written and well considered, are coming from someone with no credibility to back it up.

What are we to think you've been doing for 20 months, other than reading the reviews and sorting out yourself a nice little hot list? Before you answer this, remember, the moderators can check to see you log in history

You're welcome to question my credibility, the value of my comments or anything else, I made no claims to be an authority, a seasoned punter or anyone worthy of special consideration. I would hope that people take anything I write with the same skepticism they approach anything else on the internet.

When I wrote what I wrote, I thought I was contributing some helpful suggestions, in the spirit of the community. I thought that's a way to be "giving back to the forum". Would it have been better that I didn't?

[Punterperson1971]

Would it have been better that I didn't?

Fixed it for you
And the answer to your question is yes it would be better if you didn’t contribute

[daviemac]

You're welcome to question my credibility, the value of my comments or anything else, I made no claims to be an authority, a seasoned punter or anyone worthy of special consideration. I would hope that people take anything I write with the same skepticism they approach anything else on the internet.

When I wrote what I wrote, I thought I was contributing some helpful suggestions, in the spirit of the community. I thought that's a way to be "giving back to the forum". Would it have been better that I didn't?

You've been here well over 18 months, you must remember the rules you read and agreed to on the sign up page? If not Ill remind you.

1 Site ethos/mission
This Forum puts the interests of Punters first through the sharing of Reviews. The Forum does not endorse or promote any service provider or any other site. This site is totally independent. No favouritism, no special treatment, no vested interests and no pandering to service providers. Members are expected to post Reviews, although there is no formal quota (see rule 27). General chat relating to Punting is allowed on the appropriate Board.

27 Lurking / Dormant Accounts
Members that do not contribute Reviews or where their accounts become dormant may have their membership revoked.

You still haven't answered the question, "what qualifies you to give advice about punting"?   

[jesse4585]

It is quite sad when I look at girls I used to see them as sexual being now I am somehow seeing them at a level level of abstraction - just flesh and bones. Super weird... maybe I was asexual all along and just fooled myself into thinking I was this horny person? no... well I was honestly surprised at my emotional response to the punt. I need to assimilate that and update my world and self model so that it becomes coherent.

Nietzsche wrote that a mans sexuality pervades all his work. Even from your few posts here it seems unlikely youre asexual. An accurate self model for you might be youre a thorough stallion - you need more time than others to hit your stride, but once you get into the grove it should be really good.

The de-vitalisation / seeing lasses as abstractions thing isn't that uncommon for folk overtaxing their analytical side on fundamental or high impact problems like your threat reduction. Its been happening since at least the time of Descarte. You probably need a bit more attention to your 'Yin' side.  In practical terms, this means don't spend all your leisure time on things like reading (with the sole possible exception of poetry) or heave re-representation entertainment like VR. Instead, listen to music or look at art and try to do so without making conscious judgment. And most of all, try and spend a little time taking in the beauty of nature, again try to avoid much analytical thinking about it, just soak it in. St James or Hyde Park are quite close to you, just half an hour in either of those should do you some good.  Such 'yin' relaxation might be a lot less stimulating than your VR rig, but you might find it makes the difference for a successful punt!

(Also, I doubt youre going to save the planet for us with analyses / Yang alone. There's already hundreds of hyper bright people trying to do that in various multilateral agencies and well connected think tanks. And arguably not doing that good a job, as you seem to know.)

[PLeisure]

I'm not sure what's behind this strange hostility. I saw a topic I thought was interesting, read the replies, felt that there was something to say that hadn't been said by others and pitched in. If you find what I wrote useful, great, if you don't that's okay too, if you feel you want to comment on it, correct it or even completely reject it, be my guest. That's how internet forums have worked... since the invention of internet forums!

Do you know what a leech does? It sucks blood out of an unwitting victim, weakening them and feeding itself. If you feel so assaulted by someone reading the posts you and others have voluntarily shared (and what? not reciprocating to the extent you see fit?) maybe you should reconsider why you share them in the first place. Would you have rather I posted a thousand inane comments than one genuine and consiered response?

I did think to myself "should I be sharing this with a bunch of strangers?" and then I thought "yes, if someone can benefit from it, why not". Again, not sure what your problem is, but I think we can all do with a little more consideration.

What "strange hostility" ??? 

It's very simple. There is an ethos to this forum. It is based on the fact that we are all consuming services provided by sex workers. And we share those experiences in the interests of improving the level of satisfaction.

When you sign-up to UKP, it is made clear that you are expected to contribute meaningfully, i.e. by reviews.
This has been highlighted above by a Moderator.

You've been a member for 20 months. What have you been doing all this time?

And what is it that you want us to consider on your behalf? 

[anishgeek]

Nietzsche wrote that a mans sexuality pervades all his work. Even from your few posts here it seems unlikely youre asexual. An accurate self model for you might be youre a thorough stallion - you need more time than others to hit your stride, but once you get into the grove it should be really good.

The de-vitalisation / seeing lasses as abstractions thing isn't that uncommon for folk overtaxing their analytical side on fundamental or high impact problems like your threat reduction. Its been happening since at least the time of Descarte. You probably need a bit more attention to your 'Yin' side.  In practical terms, this means don't spend all your leisure time on things like reading (with the sole possible exception of poetry) or heave re-representation entertainment like VR. Instead, listen to music or look at art and try to do so without making a conscious judgment. And most of all, try and spend a little time taking in the beauty of nature, again try to avoid much analytical thinking about it, just soak it in. St James or Hyde Park are quite close to you, just half an hour in either of those should do you some good.  Such 'yin' relaxation might be a lot less stimulating than your VR rig, but you might find it makes the difference for a successful punt!

(Also, I doubt youre going to save the planet for us with analyses / Yang alone. There's already hundreds of hyper bright people trying to do that in various multilateral agencies and well connected think tanks. And arguably not doing that good a job, as you seem to know.)

Yeah thanks for your advice, I am loving all the free museums here and the green spaces of the city. I will try to do that, be more chill lmao, like @tp69 was saying I need to lighten up haha, I tend to go really meta when talking to people and be serious all the time. I think being present, mindful, and living in the moment, not stuck in my head are all worth it.

When you analyse the past or predict the future you are not really experiencing the now. I just now changed my flight, so I will stay a while longer here. There is a lot to experience in the city. @limarasa9 if you know of such good parties let me know where to find them!

[limarasa9]

The one I keep hearing on this forum is Rebecca Ryder’s parties. The next one is on 10th November. Google search would give you the details.

[Steely Dan]

The one I keep hearing on this forum is Rebecca Ryder’s parties. The next one is on 10th November. Google search would give you the details.

Here is best link to all the parties.

External Link/Members Only

I can't be bothered to read through all this, but I found it amazing we got from virginity to sex parties in one short thread! Will we get to TS-M-F 3-way bondage BDSM kicking session next?

[LLPunting]

Here is best link to all the parties.

External Link/Members Only

I can't be bothered to read through all this, but I found it amazing we got from virginity to sex parties in one short thread! Will we get to TS-M-F 3-way bondage BDSM kicking session next?

Given the overblown impression he has of himself perhaps some domination and subversion of his heterosexuality is what he needs 

[tp69]

Good lord, don't go to a party if you can't get yourself to fuck a WG. It's likely to be the most awkward thing you ever do, and the quality of girl won't reach your expectation by any stretch. IMO.

[PLeisure]

Good lord, don't go to a party if you can't get yourself to fuck a WG. It's likely to be the most awkward thing you ever do, and the quality of girl won't reach your expectation by any stretch. IMO.

Exactly ! 

LLP's advice above might well recalibrate OP's wonky perspectives 

[Malvolio]

The one I keep hearing on this forum is Rebecca Ryder’s parties. The next one is on 10th November. Google search would give you the details.

That is like suggesting someone who's never run in their life enter a marathon in three weeks (and not do any running before then).

[limarasa9]

Well, the OP tried with a WG which didn’t work out so I gave him an alternative option with my reasoning. Looks like it made sense to the OP and he asked for party details. There is no harm in trying. If he doesn’t try, he wouldn’t know 

[massagepuntingfan]

There was a similar thread to this about 6 months ago. My 2p worth, sex for OP will likely be very awkward until he does it enough times that he loses any stigma attached to the act and builds his confidence up. My recommendation of seeing a top GFE provider like Ellie-Rose was ignored, but someone recommended having a few body to body sessions to get used to being with a woman's presence.
Going to a sex party would likely traumatise OP who seems neurotic enough.

[anishgeek]

There was a similar thread to this about 6 months ago. My 2p worth, sex for OP will likely be very awkward until he does it enough times that he loses any stigma attached to the act and builds his confidence up. My recommendation of seeing a top GFE provider like Ellie-Rose was ignored, but someone recommended having a few body to body sessions to get used to being with a woman's presence.
Going to a sex party would likely traumatise OP who seems neurotic enough.

I have mailed Ellie Rose on adult work, hopefully, she responds, and I get to meet her. Any other glorious GFE providers you recommend?

[tp69]

Well, the OP tried with a WG which didn’t work out so I gave him an alternative option with my reasoning. Looks like it made sense to the OP and he asked for party details. There is no harm in trying. If he doesn’t try, he wouldn’t know 

He's a virgin who was bricking it with a girl 1 on 1 to a point where he couldn't perform. How do you think it plays out when he's alongside a dozen very experienced guys with their cocks out, double-ending a dozen hookers? It goes badly, very badly.

He needs to work things out for himself, but IMO he could do with not over-thinking it, and go shag someone. All the nonsense about them needing to be a 10/10 is just mental haze.

[jesse4585]

Any other glorious GFE providers you recommend?

Reading your new review (thanks for posting that), it made me think even more that Gabriela might be a great choice for you. Tp69 already recommended her, & I posted a video & booking link above. She's awesome at GFE, I suspect she'd genuinely like someone like you. She's been good at making other geeky/ hyper analytical types feel desired (e.g. Jon2k).  If you've not yet had a tommy tank you could try and book her tomorrow (phone HoD shortly after 10:30, she might have a cancellation.). Or if not, call early on Monday and you should have no issue booking a slot for the week commencing 31 Oct. Dont worry too much if you get a late appointment - I've seen her late a couple of times and its still a great punt, she's good at keeping herself fresh.  Regardless of whether you take the advise this time, I'm glad to see you're  planning on a few more attempts. 

[tp69]

Reading your new review (thanks for posting that), it made me think even more that Gabriela might be a great choice for you. Tp69 already recommended her, & I posted a video & booking link above. She's awesome at GFE, I suspect she'd genuinely like someone like you. She's been good at making other geeky/ hyper analytical types feel desired (e.g. Jon2k).  If you've not yet had a tommy tank you could try and book her tomorrow (phone HoD shortly after 10:30, she might have a cancellation.). Or if not, call early on Monday and you should have no issue booking a slot for the week commencing 31 Oct. Dont worry too much if you get a late appointment - I've seen her late a couple of times and its still a great punt, she's good at keeping herself fresh.  Regardless of whether you take the advise this time, I'm glad to see you're  planning on a few more attempts. 

Agree with this. She's very good looking, has a killer body, and very experienced with an almost flawless review rating. If you see her and it doesn't work, then punting is probably not for you. But book an hour and be honest with her straight up, let her take the lead and just enjoy it. And don't take food this time.

[limarasa9]

I have mailed Ellie Rose on adult work, hopefully, she responds, and I get to meet her.

All the best mate  . Hope your cherry pops with this encounter and all your well-wishers in here can heave a collective sigh of relief 

[jesse4585]

Hey there, was sorry to see things didn't work out with Gabriela.  Fair play for trying and thanks for leaving us a review.

Hope you don't mind me sharing some more advise...
I've known a few ultra analytical IQ types like yourself in my time, and it still seems likely  the issue is unconscious nerves - not anything to do with "deep conditioning" or "childhood demons".  As said before it may take between about 1 - 20 more attempts. If you go into each punt without much expectation of it being a successful one, then that should take a bit of pressure off.

Maybe you should try a 3rd girl next, perhaps Elsie Rose or one of the other recommendations.  Then try a 2nd go with whichever one you feel most drawn to. They'll be a known quantity then which should help with the nerves. For the 2nd meet book at least an hour, maybe 90 mins. You probably saw, but you can meet the massage girl you went with for a full service session via External Link/Members Only . Though sounds like you had a strong connection with Gabriela if you shot 3 loads back to back straight after. I thought she'd be the sort to take a liking to you.  Funny you should mention finding her intimidating - if you check my first review, I mentioned being a little 'star struck' by her. (And I was almost 50 when I first met her, lol, back when she was also working for a different agency, and went by Anabella). But didnt' see her that way on future visits, yeah she's brilliant in some respects, but below average IQ once you get talking to her, she masks that as she's so intuitive.

Some possibly final points for you:

Dont rush, but dont go so slow that you're still a virgin in your 30s.

As well as ideally going 4 days + without a wank before booking your next session, consider doing some things to boost your testosterone levels the day before the punt - i.e take some moderately heavy excercise, and eat food like e.g. prawns.

If still no joy after 5 more attempts, maybe try having half a pint of beer 30 mins before the punt, as that should dull your analytical side.

If still no joy after 15 attempts, go nuclear and look into Sildenafil (Viagra / blue pills) or Cialis.

And only in the most unlikely event that you're not sorted after 20 or so attempts should you consider options like seeing a psychiatrist (I'm a big believer in mainstream science for most things, but they're not consistently good at helping with this issue.) seeing a sex therapist, or even being stoic about it and going asexual until / unless you happen to find yourself in a loving relationship with an understanding civie lass.

Sorry it's turning into a bit of a mission for you, but I think you'll find it's well worth it in the end.