seeking.com - Open Topic

[j4247]

Another thing I find fairly fascinating are the girls who you meet once or twice, and despite appearing to really enjoy themselves, creaming over your cock etc, they put little effort into keeping you 'hooked'. The absolute best ones will have a bit of banter with you via text (I'm not talking 10's of messages per day here) etc between meetings. You'd think it would be far less effort to reply to literally 1 or 2 messages every other day from a guy you know and like (ok, can tolerate) than try and constantly hunt for new men including going on coffee M&G's etc. Mostly these girls are logging in most days to Seeking still.

I can understand ghosting etc if she doesn't like you, but putting such little effort in, yet still responding... eventually is a bit baffling! Most girls are on it immediately if there's a sniff of another meeting I find.

Admittedly this is rare, but it has happened a few times - maybe these girls prefer variety too!!

[Jindybandy]

Another thing I find fairly fascinating are the girls who you meet once or twice, and despite appearing to really enjoy themselves, creaming over your cock etc, they put little effort into keeping you 'hooked'. The absolute best ones will have a bit of banter with you via text (I'm not talking 10's of messages per day here) etc between meetings. You'd think it would be far less effort to reply to literally 1 or 2 messages every other day from a guy you know and like (ok, can tolerate) than try and constantly hunt for new men including going on coffee M&G's etc. Mostly these girls are logging in most days to Seeking still.

I can understand ghosting etc if she doesn't like you, but putting such little effort in, yet still responding... eventually is a bit baffling! Most girls are on it immediately if there's a sniff of another meeting I find.

Admittedly this is rare, but it has happened a few times - maybe these girls prefer variety too!!

Wonder if there’s an element of ‘don’t want to get too attached’ to it as a few I’ve chatted to since signing back up have said they previously had a long term arrangement but don’t want to get emotionally attached.

As you say though, the amount that I see online pretty much whenever I log in is astounding. It’s the same faces who just seem to constantly be on so who must also have go through a bit of effort to find their next short-term hook. Or is it actually not that much effort for them and they can find someone to meet quite easily 

[Jindybandy]

Something I’ve noted, which might have been discussed before, is how similar sounding a lot of profiles are to the point that I suspect the use of AI generated texts by the girls to sound more appealing. Keep seeing the same term along the lines of ‘looking for spontaneous…’ cropping up.

Read one earlier that came across elegant, and intelligent, only to finish with a quite chavvy ‘text speak’ paragraph that look like another person had written

[j4247]

Perhaps it’s the emotional attachment thing. You’d think that they’d absolutely rather see the same guy(s) over and over though than keep going through the vetting timewaster process.

Or perhaps they’re just resigned to the fact you’ll only see them a couple of times and want to keep the conveyor belt moving.

I’ve also noticed that the same girls are on there constantly. These are good looking girls who have often had good reviews on here at sensible prices. You’d think they’d have picked up a long term SD or 3, but they’re online every day.

[southcoastpunter]

they may not actually be online when it shows they are. I have had several past SB's that i trust say that they have not been online when the system shows they to be - often its because they haven't logged out just not used it and they system shows them as "active" - these apparently is more so with the phone app. They also have said they saw me online at such a time and i def was not. so the Seeking "online now" or "last online" is not 100& accurate.

Also remember a PPM is exactly that - there is no commitment to any future meeting so if you and they do PPM - its not usual for girls to be looking for others (sometimes as back up). And the chances are that if they are PPMing you then they could well be PPMing others.

[Jindybandy]

They also have said they saw me online at such a time and i def was not. so the Seeking "online now" or "last online" is not 100& accurate.

Think this is becoming more frequent on a lot of ‘dating’ type sites. Guess it’s a way to keep people engaged but not the best if you think you’re having to wait ages for a reply from someone you think is online

[j4247]

I’m sure the PPM girls - which is most of the site - are certainly not exclusive and have a couple or a few guys on the go at once.

It just doesn’t make sense to me when they start off replying to messages within an hour or two and sometimes quicker and then almost never reply within 4-6 hours or less. This is when trying to arrange a meet, not just chit chat. It’s by no means all of them, it’s a minority, but I’ve come across it a few times and it does put me off a little and nudges me to look elsewhere. Just seems like a bit of an own goal from them.

Again, I could understand if I was sending them a lot of messages, but less than 10 a week doesn’t seem like a lot for easy money for them. On the other hand, most girls will text too much for me!

[thundercrackerxx]

I've noticed the lack of effort in conversation from girls on there too over the last couple of years. It used to be they'd actually talk, show and interest and we'd get to know each other. There would be enthusiasm, or at least an attempt to look enthusiastic. Now it's like they can barely be bothered to talk at all Beyond when and what price. Sometimes not even that. It feels like there are a lot of girls on there who just want a guy to just instantly post them money with not even conversation in return. I don't think it's fear of getting attached but more a general entitlement. Maybe there are enough desperate old guys on there that will go along with it that the girls don't feel they need to try anymore.

[thundercrackerxx]

I found it surprising when a girl recently told me (surprisingly candidly) that nearly all of her previous meets/arrangements were one time only affairs despite her preferring long term (but clearly accepting short term also). I thought there would be more of a mix.

It got me thinking that I wonder how often others on here usually meet a girl - assuming they like them and had a good time. I've only met a fairly small amount of girls. 3 or 4 was one time only - we didn't quite click for whatever reason. Another girl 5 or 6 times before it got boring and another - the girl in question - it must be 20 times now - every few weeks on average.

From reading back the threads here it does seem like a lot of us move on pretty quickly, with a few exceptions. Be interested to hear others thoughts. If you got on well with a girl and found her attractive, do you still generally move on? for variety?

Back in the good old days of the site I'd see a girl a two or three times and move on. The main reason I use SA and AW is for variety as I get bored with the same person all the time, no matter how attractive or nice. If I were happy to just have one girl I'd get in a ''normal'' relationship.

[j4247]

Yeah there's definitely only a very blurred line between SA and AW these days. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to this, but the only real difference is the girl gets to vet the punter slightly more thoroughly on SA.

A lot of them just want to go straight to a hotel, do the business and get paid now. In and out in an hour or two. If I want to do that then AW or Diva etc is much cheaper and more convenient.

[paul_tall_]

For seeking its probably a good job in that the same faces are constantly using the site otherwise with the limited number of new profiles the site would be very inactive.
I think some girls treat the site more as dating like site and are looking for the male unicorn that doesn't necessarily exist and are happy to be choosy in who they meet. Many are quite happy to be wined and dined on a regular basis with various guys and not necessarily being intimate on that first meeting

[PLeisure]

Seeking appear to have removed the 'Body Type' category off profiles - for me, this adds a further layer of obfuscation when deciding if I want to pursue further; so many SBs just post face pics, or a snap of their nails 

When I logged on today, I was asked to provide my weight, with an option to hide this from the profile.
Have members complained that nominating your body type is discriminatory, or something   

[southcoastpunter]

Seeking appear to have removed the 'Body Type' category off profiles - for me, this adds a further layer of obfuscation when deciding if I want to pursue further; so many SBs just post face pics, or a snap of their nails 

When I logged on today, I was asked to provide my weight, with an option to hide this from the profile.
Have members complained that nominating your body type is discriminatory, or something   

i got that too today - first time i have logged in for some time. I am not sure how much help it actually was -sometimes "curvy" seemed to me to mean "fat" and sometimes i think girls ticked it to try to indicate reasonable/good size boobs!

i wouldn't be surprised to learn its something to do with "body image" and/or discrimatory!

[massagepuntingfan]

Seeking appear to have removed the 'Body Type' category off profiles - for me, this adds a further layer of obfuscation when deciding if I want to pursue further; so many SBs just post face pics, or a snap of their nails 

When I logged on today, I was asked to provide my weight, with an option to hide this from the profile.
Have members complained that nominating your body type is discriminatory, or something   

That's bloody annoying. Makes it much harder to find what we want.

[Curious]

Agreed, the search on figure/weight is a significant feature, both ways I should think.
The message that came with it read that you wouldn't be able to search on weight if you didn't allow your own to be seen, so possibly they're just being (typically) slow at coding it into the system?

[southcoastpunter]

Agreed, the search on figure/weight is a significant feature, both ways I should think.
The message that came with it said that you wouldn't be able to search on weight if you didn't allow your own to be seen, so maybe they're just being (typically) slow at coding the weight search function?

it just means that like "nett worth" and "income" we and they just make a figure up!

[Pl4yer]

My Experience with Seeking Arrangements – Eye-Opening but Not for Me (Anymore)

Just wanted to share my recent experience with Seeking Arrangements, especially for anyone curious about how it actually works in real life.

I spent a bit of time putting together a decent profile—added some good photos, and was upfront that I’d be happy to pay for the right arrangement. I also used the app while I was in Phuket, Thailand, and ended up meeting a young Russian woman in her 20s. That went really well and kind of kickstarted my interest in exploring this world a bit further.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve spoken to, FaceTimed, and met up with a fair few women. There are a lot on there. I made sure to exchange numbers, send over a few voice notes and pictures of myself—just to build some trust. Quite a few admitted they thought my profile was fake until we had a proper chat or met face-to-face.

The women were from all walks of life and age ranges—mostly in their 20s and 30s, all looking for a bit of financial support in exchange for regular company. Some were very down-to-earth. A few overnights did happen, with prices ranging from £150 to £250. Anyone quoting more than that, I passed on—felt a bit over the top to me.

What I found interesting was that once I’d done the initial meet, most of them became much more relaxed. Some even said they weren’t too fussed about the money and just wanted to meet up again to do social things. One even invited me back to her apartment, and I stayed over—but no money changed hands that time. It felt like they just wanted to have a nice time and some decent company.

That said, I did start to get a bit frustrated more recently. The better-looking women, in particular, seemed to want to be shown a good time—dinners, drinks, nice places—and still expected to be paid on top of that. For me, that kind of defeats the purpose. It ends up feeling like double-dating costs—you’re doing all the usual stuff and paying them too.

In the end, I deleted the app. It’s honestly too easy to meet these kinds of women—many of whom are nothing like traditional escorts and that was part of the appeal—but it just became expensive and a bit draining. I’ve decided to give more traditional dating apps a try instead and see how things go there. At least with those, there’s more of a natural progression and fewer expectations from the outset.

Curious to hear if anyone else has gone through something similar or made the jump back to conventional dating after trying Seeking.

[southcoastpunter]

Op - what area of the UK did this happen and what sort of age are you? The responses and experience you get as a 30 something may be very different to a late 50's or 60's guy. Perhaps you were also lucky getting away with saying in your profile that you were happy to pay for an arrangement - Seeking now hate any suggestion that could indicate you are offering money for sex and it is trying to represent itself as a up-market dating site!

FYI- There is also a dedicated Seeking thread on here and in most regional boards.

[daviemac]

FYI- There is also a dedicated Seeking thread on here and in most regional boards.

Merged.

[stampjones]

I think traditional punting, seeking and regular dating are different things. Sure they all involve sex but the other stuff is completely different so no reason at all that you should necessarily enjoy all three.

[Pl4yer]

Op - what area of the UK did this happen and what sort of age are you? The responses and experience you get as a 30 something may be very different to a late 50's or 60's guy. Perhaps you were also lucky getting away with saying in your profile that you were happy to pay for an arrangement - Seeking now hate any suggestion that could indicate you are offering money for sex and it is trying to represent itself as a up-market dating site!

FYI- There is also a dedicated Seeking thread on here and in most regional boards.

Thank you buddy. I’m Middle Aged and I did state I was happy to show the right lady a good time and treat her well. Maybe this is the reason my profile did pretty well. A few of the comments from matches did say I looked young to be on seeking also

[Pl4yer]

I think traditional punting, seeking and regular dating are different things. Sure they all involve sex but the other stuff is completely different so no reason at all that you should necessarily enjoy all three.

That’s a good perspective. It could be the way forward actually. Have best of all the options. One thing that is the same with all 3…. You got to spend the ££££ either way. How much obviously will vary.

[southcoastpunter]

Thank you buddy. I’m Middle Aged

can you be a little more precise* please - middle aged these days can be anything from about 35 to 65! and a fit active 30's or early 40@s guy will get a different reaction to a 60's guy - and sometime different financial requests.

i note someone else must be thinking the same as you were asked the same question on the Asian thread!

* not expecting you to say "i'm 43" etc but something like - i'm in my 40's or 30's or 50's would be good.

[Pl4yer]

can you be a little more precise* please - middle aged these days can be anything from about 35 to 65! and a fit active 30's or early 40@s guy will get a different reaction to a 60's guy - and sometime different financial requests.

i note someone else must be thinking the same as you were asked the same question on the Asian thread!

* not expecting you to say "i'm 43" etc but something like - i'm in my 40's or 30's or 50's would be good.

Totally understand buddy. I just didn’t want to come across as being big headed or a nob hence kept it brief. I understand that clarity would help. I’m early 40s and I try to stay active. I go gym daily and also cycle and swim regularly. I think this has definitely helped. The girls I’ve met have said I don’t look old enough for someone in their 40s. Yes I imagine someone in his 50/60s would have a different experience.

[Jumping Jack Flash]

It’s horses for courses though. I’m in my late 50’s and have been seeing my longterm SB since February 2022, she’s now 24. I’m bald, my beard is white and I’m not what you would call a prime example of manhood but I’m in ok shape.

If you can hold a decent conversation, dress well and treat the SB as a human being and not a sex commodity then you should be successful.

[bigden40]

It’s horses for courses though. I’m in my late 50’s and have been seeing my longterm SB since February 2022, she’s now 24. I’m bald, my beard is white and I’m not what you would call a prime example of manhood but I’m in ok shape.

If you can hold a decent conversation, dress well and treat the SB as a human being and not a sex commodity then you should be successful.

+1 to this sentiment

There are different types of girls on Seeking. Some are more escorty and financially motivated, others are more civvy and looking for more attention, respect and a the sugar on the side can be secondary. 

What you catch depends on the bait you use.  If you treat everything transactional then you’ll end up seeing the more financially motivated women.

[southcoastpunter]

I tend to agree - but its not most guys normal experience to get lots of freebies etc. I have 2 lovely ladies on the go atm - one for over a year and on a monthly allowance and in the past have had 5 long term SB. I have had and continue to have a great time with them but have also spend a lot of money along the way. As has been said before by a number of guys, Seeking is not a way to free or even cheap sex and i would hate to give that impression to guys who have never used Seeking (or similar) before. In fact i think more and more Escort types are coming onto Seeking thesedays.

[Pl4yer]

It’s horses for courses though. I’m in my late 50’s and have been seeing my longterm SB since February 2022, she’s now 24. I’m bald, my beard is white and I’m not what you would call a prime example of manhood but I’m in ok shape.

If you can hold a decent conversation, dress well and treat the SB as a human being and not a sex commodity then you should be successful.

Couldn’t have put it better myself.

[thatsaint]

for any of the people still using seeking, or recently started using it, is it legit still?

I created an account yesterday, and I've got so many favourites and messages, that only seem to happen when I'm online. I haven't paid for membership yet so haven't read them. Just seem it odd I've got that many interactions in such a small amount of time, I def don't look that good!

[massagepuntingfan]

for any of the people still using seeking, or recently started using it, is it legit still?

I created an account yesterday, and I've got so many favourites and messages, that only seem to happen when I'm online. I haven't paid for membership yet so haven't read them. Just seem it odd I've got that many interactions in such a small amount of time, I def don't look that good!

Its likely because you've just signed up Seeking has bumped you to the top of the search list, think of it like a boost - to get you lots of attention/messages that only say Hi - to encourage to take the leap and sign up. It will likely die down once signed up after a day or two.

[Carl Adams]

I have noticed over time that if you are shown as on the site (your green button is lit up) then you tend to get people taking a look, etc - human nature I guess that you want to try and interact with someone who is actually online rather than leave something for someone who may never come back on.

[Insideman]

seeking may be financially cheaper but you're investing more emotionally and it could backfire as some of the girls are clingy and damaged.

[Hobbit]

seeking may be financially cheaper but you're investing more emotionally and it could backfire as some of the girls are clingy and damaged.

More the opposite, mate. They will suck you dry and move on to the next guy. I have yet to find a clingy girl, as they have many options.

[southcoastpunter]

seeking may be financially cheaper

More the opposite, mate.

i don't often agree with Hobbit about Seeking matters but i do on this. Seeking is not cheap sex!!

[paul_tall_]

seeking may be financially cheaper but you're investing more emotionally and it could backfire as some of the girls are clingy and damaged.

rather than clingy perhaps you mean use emotionally charged conversation to make you feel sorry for them so as to provide some form of financial allowance

[Insideman]

rather than clingy perhaps you mean use emotionally charged conversation to make you feel sorry for them so as to provide some form of financial allowance

i cant argue with that

[bigden40]

i don't often agree with Hobbit about Seeking matters but i do on this. Seeking is not cheap sex!!

Agree it’s not cheap, even if you get a low allowance agreed other costs can mount up.

But the rest of his post is completely on brand. Everytime he posts on the subject he exposes just why he seems to be so spectacularly unsuccessful on seeking.

[massagepuntingfan]

As someone who is happy to host from home Seeking financially works out as better for me. I'm only interested in PPM's and at £250-£300 I get 2-3 hours time with the lady, as opposed to same amount for one hour.
If I wasn't able to host and had to pay for hotel I probably wouldn't bother as the cost then becomes prohibitive.

[TheOracle]

Seeking appear to have removed the 'Body Type' category off profiles - for me, this adds a further layer of obfuscation when deciding if I want to pursue further; so many SBs just post face pics, or a snap of their nails 

When I logged on today, I was asked to provide my weight, with an option to hide this from the profile.
Have members complained that nominating your body type is discriminatory, or something   

If this is a deliberate change it's beyond retarded. I can't believe how the only changes they make on the app regularly end up making it worse. Now I have body types appearing at random only for certain profiles, but they seem to be progressively disappearing.

The result is that my carefully selected list of search results is getting flooded with "curvy"/"average"/"fat" types that I always excluded from the Search. And for a bunch of profiles, ethnicity is also disappearing, which makes it that also ethnicities I'm not interested in (or that at least I want to move to specific searches) are making it through my search. I've opened a support ticket hoping that this is just a set of bugs in some new release: I would recommend doing the same to send them feedback if the changes are annoying for you too.

[southcoastpunter]

If this is a deliberate change it's beyond retarded. I can't believe how the only changes they make on the app regularly end up making it worse.

Maybe it’s because you are not the sort of guy member they now want on Seeking! So from their point of view it’s not making it “worse”!

[Neo]

I wish they didn't remove the discount box. Used to rinse the 33% offer

[bigden40]

Seeking appear to have removed the 'Body Type' category off profiles - for me, this adds a further layer of obfuscation when deciding if I want to pursue further; so many SBs just post face pics, or a snap of their nails 

When I logged on today, I was asked to provide my weight, with an option to hide this from the profile.
Have members complained that nominating your body type is discriminatory, or something   

I never found it helpful, curvy seems to mean anything from a normal figure to a complete whale.

They’ve also removed income/net worth

[paul_tall_]

I never found it helpful, curvy seems to mean anything from a normal figure to a complete whale.

They’ve also removed income/net worth

i found the body type category quite helpful, guess we are all different. They have explained the changes re body type, income on their blog.

this is what they say re body type
We replaced the “Body Type” field with “Weight” because body type is inherently subjective and can lead to misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations. Providing a specific measurement like weight allows members to have a clear, factual reference, minimizing ambiguity.

Additionally, specifying weight encourages honesty and transparency in profiles, leading to more genuine connections based on true physical attributes rather than subjective interpretations.

whilst i realise Brandon and his partner have been back a while now i cant believe too many girls would be happy sharing weight so did they do any market research

there rationale around net worth is equally strange

It was becoming more apparent that “Net Worth” and “Income” were inherently problematic because they were not verifiable and were being used dishonestly. To better protect our members and maintain authenticity on the platform, we’ve concluded that the most accurate measure of a member’s success and generosity is their willingness and ability to invest in meaningful relationships.

There are better ways to more accurately determine the net worth or income of an individual—for example, by reviewing the photos or descriptions on their profiles, which often provide a clearer, more authentic glimpse into the lifestyle a specific member actually leads.

Additionally, to reinforce this approach, our prices will soon increase. This change will naturally help us identify and retain genuinely generous and successful members who truly embody the values our community appreciates.

Really a photo of say me on a yacht or in the drivers seat of a Ferrari shows authenticity ? Lets face it pictures of girls in Dubai never really floated my boat

Interesting point re upping prices, wonder if they will put the whole site behind a paywall and what level they will set the price. OK im only interested in the UK based girls so other countries ay be completely different but the standard of female profile popping up in the UK as been discussed is not at that level as it stands

[TheOracle]

Maybe it’s because you are not the sort of guy member they now want on Seeking! So from their point of view it’s not making it “worse”!

LOL, I'm exactly the type of guy they want on Seeking, They're just largely incompetent, as it's proved conclusively by how botched this rollout is.

I had a perfectly curated set of searches returning exactly the profiles of people I might be interested in, whereas now 80% of the profiles are of people I instantly find unappealing. If they hadn't removed the feature to quickly hide people without opening their profile long ago I might still weed them out quickly, but no, I need to go and open hundreds of profiles I don't want to see in search results when looking on the recents tab. It's a massive reduction in usability for obviously no advantage.

In the meantime, half of the profiles still show a body type (including new ones):I just can no longer filter them. And most of the new profiles don't even have a weight listed. My profile hasn't been asked my weight whereas another one I sometimes use to check if someone blocked me gets asked its weight every time I log in. The seeking developers are... not great developers.

Their rationale for replacing a subjective but largely consistent body type with a supposedly objective measure like weight is just ludicrous: weight by itself means nothing without knowing height and body type. Are they going to add a filter on BMI?

[thatsaint]

whats the usual for "1st meet just for drinks and/or meal"
I can understand that being a good start, to see if you are both on the same page with terms of each, pricing etc. Was just told first meet is drinner or drinks and is 200. Is that norm? Feel like I'll be throwing away 200 for nothing

[TheOracle]

whats the usual for "1st meet just for drinks and/or meal"
I can understand that being a good start, to see if you are both on the same page with terms of each, pricing etc. Was just told first meet is drinner or drinks and is 200. Is that norm? Feel like I'll be throwing away 200 for nothing

Not the norm at all. Only a handful of women ask to be paid for meet and greet, and they should be avoided at all costs: if the practice spread, arrangements would become a way for women to get paid for the pleasure of having a free meal. If someone can't invest an hour of their time to evaluate whether there's enough chemistry for you, they're not worth investing in. 200 quid can give you a decent punt with a good escort, that's a better way to spend your money.

[massagepuntingfan]

whats the usual for "1st meet just for drinks and/or meal"
I can understand that being a good start, to see if you are both on the same page with terms of each, pricing etc. Was just told first meet is drinner or drinks and is 200. Is that norm? Feel like I'll be throwing away 200 for nothing

I've never ever paid for a meet and greet. Times have changed since I started 7 years ago, meet and greets were the norm frankly, I now start with a video call to introduce.
Others will tell you this, don't hand over any money until the arrangement has begun. Stand your ground.

[thatsaint]

thanks guys, as I suspected. Only just started dabbling in seeking, and at the moment I have noticed there seems to be a lot of members hat want to get money from you, for doing very little in return - let alone meet for any action

[southcoastpunter]

thanks guys, as I suspected. Only just started dabbling in seeking, and at the moment I have noticed there seems to be a lot of members hat want to get money from you, for doing very little in return - let alone meet for any action

Bear in mind that Seeking is not (or rather was not) an Escort site - it was an arrangement site whereas you did more with the ladies (dinner and/or social stuff) and not just "go to a hotel". I now say "was" as it has changed in the last few years. more guys just want to go straight to a hotel (ie just buy sex) and more ladies have come on to meet that demand (ie Escorts). In addition the number of ladies wanting a financial payment for a M&G or for "dinner first and we will see how it goes" (ie no real intent to take things further) has increased substantially. Maybe they see it as "easy money"

I too will not pay a girl for a M&G or dinner etc (obviously i pay for the dinner and drinks etc) but there are some guys that will. Don't let guys from here (which is afterall predominately a punters site not a SD/SB site) tell you how to spend your money - if you want to pay a gorgeous girl to take her to dinner then do so - all you have to do is be happy that you consider it money well spent . Each to their own and all that!

[TheOracle]

I too will not pay a girl for a M&G or dinner etc (obviously i pay for the dinner and drinks etc) but there are some guys that will. Don't let guys from here (which is afterall predominately a punters site not a SD/SB site) tell you how to spend your money - if you want to pay a gorgeous girl to take her to dinner then do so - all you have to do is be happy that you consider it money well spent . Each to their own and all that!

There's one aspect of this website that has maybe changed over time, but as a long time forum contributor I remember what its founding ethos was: it's always been a community for support between punters, but also one where people wouldn't be afraid to push back versus behaviours that would hurt the punting community as a whole. People have always been encouraged not to overpay, here, because doing so tends to create inflation.

Telling people not to pay for meet and greets is an obvious measure of the same kind: if everybody started paying for meet and greets, this would not only make things more expensive, it would also encourage a culture where women could get rewarded just for showing up at a cafe and for many of them that might encourage them to become "platonic escorts", which is obviously against our interests.