You know you're a punter when...

[Captainhowdy666]

I deliver to a holiday inn on a Monday and always use the toilet
The smell of their air fresheners in there instantly remind me of orgies I’ve visited , the same cheap smell

[PilotMan]

You look at some clothing and think this would be good corporate attire for a Massage Parlour 



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[greedaa]

you know a lot more acronyms for the services offered by the provider   

[DouglasReynholm]

you know a lot more acronyms for the services offered by the provider   

You've been here an entire week without posting any reviews, so my psychic powers tell me that this is you:

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[daviemac]

You've been here an entire week without posting any reviews, so my psychic powers tell me that this is you:

Yes he's only been here a week and you're posting crap like this, how welcome would you feel if you just joined a forum and had some numpty like you posting that.

Your first post on here was to criticize another member's review claiming his description was wrong, you also said you couldn't post a review because the booking was a month previous so you 'couldn't remember' the details.

[daviemac]

you know a lot more acronyms for the services offered by the provider   

Take no notice of the negative comments mate, those picking on new members are in danger of getting banned.

If it happens again just hit the report to moderator link on the right and we'll sort it, we want new members to feel welcome.

[Tom1976]

A mate of mine works on the railway. They have a pension scheme enhancement called BRASS.

He told me “I spend £300 a month on BRASS”. I bit my lip….

[Iloveoral]

A mate of mine works on the railway. They have a pension scheme enhancement called BRASS.

He told me “I spend £300 a month on BRASS”. I bit my lip….

27 Non-Contributing Accounts
We welcome questions and participation, but members who aren't posting reviews or making a meaningful contribution may be flagged as non-contributing. Once flagged, a 30 day timer begins. Posting a review during this period will maintain your membership. Sharing reviews helps keep the community balanced and valuable for everyone..

[Massage Bloke]

...When you're watching the Winter Oiympics (this afternoon) and the presenter says there will be two sisters competing against each other in the "Snow Ball Cross"...    And then you realise you heard it wrong!  And it was "Snowboard Cross"...

[mh]

two sisters competing against each other in the "Snow Ball Cross"

I am having fun imaging the format of this event and the competitors. The Italian woman in the curling bronze medal match against GBR yesterday was f***ing gorgeous. She'd be one of my proposed participants. I wonder if she has a sister...

[Thephoenix]

Noticed this on Facebook:

FYO WG stands for a Wirral newspaper called The Wirral Globe, but that wasn't my first thought.


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[The0neAnd0nly]

I am having fun imaging the format of this event and the competitors. The Italian woman in the curling bronze medal match against GBR yesterday was f***ing gorgeous. She'd be one of my proposed participants. I wonder if she has a sister...

Think it was Stefania Constanini right? Not her sister but Giulia Lacedelli even better!!!

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[mh]

Think it was Stefania Constanini right? Not her sister but Giulia Lacedelli even better!!!

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That's a pretty good pairing for this new snowballing event indeed. It was just the way the camera forces the curler to stare into your eyes. Bliss.

[Captainhowdy666]

Gtfo

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[webpunter]

Gtfo

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You can't make it up

The massage then took a dark turn, as Ben said: "I was led in and asked to take off my trousers.
"That seemed strange to me, but I thought maybe it was for safety reasons, so no oil would get on my trousers.

What a big girls blouse he is & clueless
Reporting her to Police 
He could have said no left it at that
He's traumatized, bless

It will be hilarious if the knob end's details come out in the Berlin press he'll be ridiculed as a complete wuss
What a cunt he is deserves to be fired if his employer finds out, untrustworthy
This won't happen in wokey world tho his colleagues can have a laarf, but only for the next few years 

[Massage Bloke]

The Beriln bloke might have known what he was doing.  He got a 1000 euro compo payment from her and the case was dropped.

I'm surpised this sort of thing doesn't happen more often. I often look at google reviews of massage shops.  I'm looking for the poor (one star reviews)...the ones where the male customer is outraged at the mention of extras. They are fairly common. Ironically it's these bad reviews that tell me I'm onto a winner!

[webpunter]

The Beriln bloke might have known what he was doing.  He got a 1000 euro compo payment from her and the case was dropped.

I'm surpised this sort of thing doesn't happen more often. I often look at google reviews of massage shops.  I'm looking for the poor (one star reviews)...the ones where the male customer is outraged at the mention of extras. They are fairly common. Ironically it's these bad reviews that tell me I'm onto a winner!

Makes the bloke even more of a cunt

I very much like your MO checking out reviews
Brilliant 
Didn't occur to me, not in the slightest
When i have a bit of time i'm gonna give this a whirl
Thanks for sharing this is what UKP is all about 

[Massage Bloke]

Makes the bloke even more of a cunt

I very much like your MO checking out reviews
Brilliant 
Didn't occur to me, not in the slightest
When i have a bit of time i'm gonna give this a whirl
Thanks for sharing this is what UKP is all about 

One of my all time favs was a review for Hong Davis in Eastbourne:  "Made me feel very uncomfortable asking if I “fuck my girlfriend” and slapping my gluts.... unprofessional and 0 relaxation after that."...

Another thing to look out for is poor reviews from women. They are often confused as to why the therapist  doesn't seem interested in massaging them. But we know why...

There was a review from a woman for the Chinese shop more or less opposite Paddington station.  The therapist was clearly furious that a woman had been sent through to her and was yelling at the person on reception in Chinese.  The poor woman  customer was very confused.

[sparkus]

The Beriln bloke might have known what he was doing.  He got a 1000 euro compo payment from her and the case was dropped.

I'm surpised this sort of thing doesn't happen more often. I often look at google reviews of massage shops.  I'm looking for the poor (one star reviews)...the ones where the male customer is outraged at the mention of extras. They are fairly common. Ironically it's these bad reviews that tell me I'm onto a winner!

I think one motivation on his part could be the existence of a partner and him doth protesting too much. As you say, Google reviews and Facebook are full of this from men. Likewise, on Facebook women often ask for recommendations for massage places that aren't "dodgy' (sometime including the hilarious response of it not being dodgy as "my husband goes there all the time"!)

I've often wondered that rather than outrage, how many men just go along with it to avoid awkwardness and then hate themselves afterwards? Or how many men have basic HEs and don't consider it punting at all?

[Massage Bloke]

I think one motivation on his part could be the existence of a partner and him doth protesting too much. As you say, Google reviews and Facebook are full of this from men. Likewise, on Facebook women often ask for recommendations for massage places that aren't "dodgy' (sometime including the hilarious response of it not being dodgy as "my husband goes there all the time"!)

I've often wondered that rather than outrage, how many men just go along with it to avoid awkwardness and then hate themselves afterwards? Or how many men have basic HEs and don't consider it punting at all?

There is a Chinese massage and waxing shop behind Euston station (not to be confused with the establishment in nearby Eversholt Street) that manages to be legit and dodgy at one in the same time.

They do waxing for women, but they also do  back sack and crack for men.  I've not been there since before Covid for a maasage with HE. But the Chinese SP was very chatty, and from what she said it seemed that some men regarded HE after back sack and crack waxing, as more or less just part of the cleaning up process!

[Jonestown]

There was a review from a woman for the Chinese shop more or less opposite Paddington station.  The therapist was clearly furious that a woman had been sent through to her and was yelling at the person on reception in Chinese.  The poor woman  customer was very confused.

That’s because the massage lady is not going to get the £60 tip from a female customer that would naturally come her way from a Mala customer, ie she will be working an hour for minimum wage plus maybe a fiver, if she’s lucky.

[DouglasReynholm]

You can't make it up

The massage then took a dark turn, as Ben said: "I was led in and asked to take off my trousers.
"That seemed strange to me, but I thought maybe it was for safety reasons, so no oil would get on my trousers.

What a big girls blouse he is & clueless
Reporting her to Police 
He could have said no left it at that
He's traumatized, bless

It will be hilarious if the knob end's details come out in the Berlin press he'll be ridiculed as a complete wuss
What a cunt he is deserves to be fired if his employer finds out, untrustworthy
This won't happen in wokey world tho his colleagues can have a laarf, but only for the next few years 

It's a good thing he didn't get a massage from a bloke: he could have got kissed on the bottom... External Link/Members Only


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[webpunter]

It's a good thing he didn't get a massage from a bloke: he could have got kissed on the bottom... External Link/Members Only


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That is quality 

This is what can happen when its a massage from a bloke
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[webpunter]

Or how many men have basic HEs and don't consider it punting at all?

Everyone knows that HE's don't count
b2b & oilyTWs IMO a grey area 

[Jonestown]

Everyone knows that HE's don't count
b2b & oilyTWs IMO a grey area 

Come and convince your wife’s solicitor of that ………

[Thephoenix]

That’s because the massage lady is not going to get the £60 tip from a female customer that would naturally come her way from a Mala customer, ie she will be working an hour for minimum wage plus maybe a fiver, if she’s lucky.

I know a few places where female customers are happy to pay extra for happy endings.

[Thephoenix]

I think one motivation on his part could be the existence of a partner and him doth protesting too much. As you say, Google reviews and Facebook are full of this from men. Likewise, on Facebook women often ask for recommendations for massage places that aren't "dodgy' (sometime including the hilarious response of it not being dodgy as "my husband goes there all the time"!)

I've often wondered that rather than outrage, how many men just go along with it to avoid awkwardness and then hate themselves afterwards? Or how many men have basic HEs and don't consider it punting at all?

Isn't it funny that it's acceptable to have all parts of the body massaged except for a small natural protuberance. 

[webpunter]

Come and convince your wife’s solicitor of that ………

indeed
the first line is true
as for the second you'd be on thin ice
best not to put either to the test

[Captainhowdy666]

Just got a puncture on the way to a punt.
Somehow I feel more fucked paying £100 for a new tyre than I would have been with the ladyboys cock up my arse I had booked.

[PilotMan]

Just got a puncture on the way to a punt.
Somehow I feel more fucked paying £100 for a new tyre than I would have been with the ladyboys cock up my arse I had booked.

I would feel deflated too.

I'll get my coat 🧥

[webpunter]

I would feel deflated too.

I'll get my coat 🧥

@Ch666 likes to be inflated 

[Punterperson1971]

See below ⬇️

[Punterperson1971]

One for the TS lovers
On a packet of soreen malt loaf

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[webpunter]

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Who on earth eats malt loaf 

[Punterperson1971]

Who on earth eats malt loaf 

Not me but my mom used to try to make us 🤮

[myothernameis]

Gtfo

Ben K, but this was not his real name, but guess Ben had an almighty erection, while getting massaged 

Ben added that he was left traumatised by the incident and couldn't report it to the police for two days, as local news outlet BZ reports. He said: "After the incident, I showered for one or two hours and felt disgusting."  Does Ben maybe bat for the other side

Now in other news Ben's wife is looking for a divorce 

[Chazz]

Who on earth eats malt loaf 

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. 

[uncle jessie]

I am having fun imaging the format of this event and the competitors. The Italian woman in the curling bronze medal match against GBR yesterday was f***ing gorgeous. She'd be one of my proposed participants. I wonder if she has a sister...

Pity the cameramen don't show much of the women's arses in curling , they're probably under strict instructions not too    .

[webpunter]

Pity the cameramen don't show much of the women's arses in curling , they're probably under strict instructions not too    .

Maybe ten or so years ago prior to that at footy matches especially internationals against the south american & skandi countries the camera would linger on fitties
It was like the cameramen were having a competition to find the fittest burds
Quality behaviour
This would attract complaints nowadays in wokey world 

[Bertiebeenthere]

I have noticed when watching cricket that the cameras zoom in ti the pretty ladies in the crowd

[Prifessionallondinguy]

Pity the cameramen don't show much of the women's arses in curling , they're probably under strict instructions not too    .

I heard on commentary “she got rather close to her brush there”

[webpunter]

I have noticed when watching cricket that the cameras zoom in ti the pretty ladies in the crowd

Occasionally i'll go to the cricket an evening match like @ Lords
There are usually some quality hoity toity milf types younger uns dressed up to the nines & alcohol flowing, whats not to like
In cricket there are spells where not a lot happening so the cameramen finding the fitties very nicely passes the time 

[steventft]

... you recognise an SP from your hotlist.
Saw her this morning waiting for the same tube train in London. She was with a guy - no evidence to suggest but likely to be with a client since she would be way out of his league if civvy dating.
Checked AW and she had removed her profile relatively recently but still has her own indie website. Had a look and she's in town on a tour this week.
Posted a meeting request - waiting for a reply.

[sparkus]

Seen today on a chalk board sign outside a beauty salon: "Try Red Light Therapy"

[DouglasReynholm]

Seen today on a chalk board sign outside a beauty salon: "Try Red Light Therapy"

I've seen that too. I think they named it so on purpose to get people to take notice. External Link/Members Only

[nwluvit]

Isn't it funny that it's acceptable to have all parts of the body massaged except for a small natural protuberance. 

Yep, I've never had my nose massaged either!!

[DastardlyDick]

You see that the London Evening Standard colour supplement is advertising an article on

Aural sex

This is not a misprint.

It's when you fuck her ear isn't it?

[myothernameis]

Seen a female in town, and her lip fillers, slightly more than others

My first thought, wonder how it will feel, if she gives me oral

Something like these lips





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[Private Parts]

It's when you fuck her ear isn't it?

🎵 I hear you coming 🎵

Coat

[DastardlyDick]

Seen a female in town, and her lip fillers, slightly more than others

My first thought, wonder how it will feel, if she gives me oral

Something like these lips





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When she won't stop talking, just stick her go the nearest window!