Author Topic: You know you're a punter when...  (Read 440523 times)

Offline Bogof60

must say that tickled me as well   :lol:
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Offline Dipper

You imagine the quality of DFK with total strangers.

Offline Drekszter

When you can automatically get an idea for a random, attractive girl's max hourly rate if she ever became a WG

When you already know a civvy's dress, waist size etc within mins of glancing at them/seeing a pic

When you can tell what an EE look is

Offline webpunter

When you can spot the EE hookers going home @ the airport [with piles of ££] in an instant

Offline Matrix2718

When you see this on the back of a bus and it makes you think of something totally different to what’s being advertised

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Offline Cum_again

You know when you’re a Punter when you drive past a house called Victoria house every day on your way to work....

And every day you see it you wonder what girls might be working..

Offline Plan R

When you see this on the back of a bus and it makes you think of something totally different to what’s being advertised
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 :lol:  :lol: :lol:

Online LLPunting

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1) You review your location history on your phone (before deleting it) and realise you've spent an awful lot of time in places where you have no "real life" reason to be.

2) You hear someone mention "Chelsea" and you immediately think "Cloisters"

3) You hear someone say "SIM card" and you lose focus for a moment

4) You hear someone mention Brazilian and you think "+20 for OWO"

5) You're asked to suggest a good place to eat Thai and you can only think to say "Bayswater"

6) You see mangoes in the supermarket and feel the need to wail like Tarzan

7) You realise your punting phone is on a more expensive talk plan than your "real" phone

8) You pick up your punting phone by reflex when you need to make a phone call

9) You realise that you've shagged more WGs in the past month than "real" women in the past year

10) You see your bank statement and you see that you're regularly withdrawing £60, £100, £120 or £150 from ATMs

11) You see or hear "ATM" in your everyday life and wonder how much extra that would cost

12) You find yourself calling your friends on the phone once you arrive outside their homes

Offline mh

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When you see this on the back of a bus and it makes you think of something totally different to what’s being advertised

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I could be tempted to become a teacher. Looking forward to the practicals...  :cool:

Offline webpunter

Quality observations  :thumbsup:

1) You review your location history on your phone (before deleting it) and realise you've spent an awful lot of time in places where you have no "real life" reason to be.

2) You hear someone mention "Chelsea" and you immediately think "Cloisters" & then think next time i go there i'll try & avoid getting lost in the rabbit warren  :lol:

3) You hear someone say "SIM card" and you lose focus for a moment

4) You hear someone mention Brazilian and you think "+20 for OWO"

5) You're asked to suggest a good place to eat Thai and you can only think to say "Bayswater"

6) You see mangoes in the supermarket and feel the need to wail like Tarzan

7) You realise your punting phone is on a more expensive talk plan than your "real" phone

8) You pick up your punting phone by reflex when you need to make a phone call

9) You realise that you've shagged more WGs in the past month than "real" women in the past year

10) You see your bank statement and you see that you're regularly withdrawing £60, £100, £120 or £150 from ATMs

11) You see or hear "ATM" in your everyday life and wonder how much extra that would cost

12) You find yourself calling your friends on the phone once you arrive outside their homes

Offline webpunter

When its reported that the Royals are on their ski-ing hols @ Kloisters, i think of the gaff in Chelsea referred to above

Offline normal bloke

At the next bank counter you hear/ see a couple of young girls paying in tons of cash into their account.  Give them the once over and try to work out if you've seen their profile anywhere.

Offline CheeseBoard

There is new starter at work who started last week.  Timid ratty looking fellow.  Looked at the name plate on his desk and initials are HP.  Thought to myself that’s not how I imagined HP to be  :D


Offline Horizontal pleasures

when... someone nominates you for vice-chair of a committee and you think twice about accepting, no thanks.

Offline Horizontal pleasures

Your son buys his first ever car. What did he buy? An Escort!

Offline Bogof60

when you check the cash in your wallet and the first thing that you think of is
That will buy an hour with...  Insert favourite prozzy name here.....
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Offline Dipper

1) You review your location history on your phone (before deleting it) and realise you've spent an awful lot of time in places where you have no "real life" reason to be.

2) You hear someone mention "Chelsea" and you immediately think "Cloisters"

3) You hear someone say "SIM card" and you lose focus for a moment

4) You hear someone mention Brazilian and you think "+20 for OWO"

5) You're asked to suggest a good place to eat Thai and you can only think to say "Bayswater"

6) You see mangoes in the supermarket and feel the need to wail like Tarzan

7) You realise your punting phone is on a more expensive talk plan than your "real" phone

8) You pick up your punting phone by reflex when you need to make a phone call

9) You realise that you've shagged more WGs in the past month than "real" women in the past year

10) You see your bank statement and you see that you're regularly withdrawing £60, £100, £120 or £150 from ATMs

11) You see or hear "ATM" in your everyday life and wonder how much extra that would cost

12) You find yourself calling your friends on the phone once you arrive outside their homes

Very good, especially 12.   :D

Offline Whoisarrypotter

Just been sent to someone's house to pick up something funnily enough it is across the road from a wgs flat.
But am currently sitting in my car waiting for someone to tell me I can come to the door.  Cant help but feel like a punter right now, I wonder if she will be stood behind the door when she opens it.
I must remember not to open with hello gorgeous.
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Zedster

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When a lass tells you her age and you automatically add 5  :lol:

Offline webpunter

Between 5 & 10

When a lass tells you her age and you automatically add 5  :lol:

Offline JonasG

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Heard on the radio this morning about the end of wet wipes or something lol.

Immediately thought of whores.

Offline RAJEC

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Heard on the radio this morning about the end of wet wipes or something lol.

Immediately thought of whores.

 :lol:
 :lol:
 :lol:

Offline Avg_Joe

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Heard on the radio this morning about the end of wet wipes or something lol.

Immediately thought of whores.

or when you see a girl being overly aggressive when using a wet wipe.... and you immediately think "i know what you do in your spare time"  :D
Banned reason: White knight.
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Online DastardlyDick

You have the local GUM clinic's number on speed dial on your punting phone and you know the early symptoms of common STIs.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2018, 11:32:04 am by DastardlyDick »

Offline Horizontal pleasures

Scanning the clothes in a mail order catalogue there are some 'ultimate chinos' that are water, oil and stain resistant.

haha
Punting trousers.

Offline webpunter

I had you down as being attired in plus fours

Scanning the clothes in a mail order catalogue there are some 'ultimate chinos' that are water, oil and stain resistant.

haha
Punting trousers.

Just jestin'  :lol:

Online LLPunting

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Offline Avg_Joe

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Offline Cumberland

If every time you see a hot looking girl wearing glasses you just automatically assume she’s on her way to a Bukkake session.
Next thought is a mental image of her face covered in spunk.


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Offline MrMatrix

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Offline webpunter


mrpeterman

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Sure covered but when driving home you remenise of various pints you have had near to the route your driving.

Offline m4rmite

when you see CIM on an number plate you have a sly giggle..

Offline Steely Dan

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When you see a girl 15 years younger than you, and medium attractive, and you think, 'no chance girly, I only fuck younger and better looking'.

Offline Whoisarrypotter

When you see a girl 15 years younger than you, and medium attractive, and you think, 'no chance girly, I only fuck younger and better looking'.

Fuck me I'm glad I ain't 30 then as that would be soooooo wrong
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Offline Vorteghan

Queuing to check in at a hotel reception and passing the time admiring the two hot young ladies ahead of you. Then wondering if they are 'on tour' at the hotel for a few days.  :)

Offline Avg_Joe

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Queuing to check in at a hotel reception and passing the time admiring the two hot young ladies ahead of you. Then wondering if they are 'on tour' at the hotel for a few days.  :)

snap!
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Offline Horizontal pleasures

you read this book title on line ....
Warum wir dick werden: Und was wir dagegen tun können (German Edition)

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Offline Ali Katt

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Paying money in at a post office or bank and it reminds you of paying a WG.

Offline Avg_Joe

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A £100 lottery scratch card win results in you immediately thinking...... 'cool, untraceable cash for a cheeky punt' !!
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Online anonyorks

When you insist you can run an errand at work even though they don't understand as it is miles out of your way so you can arrange a punt.

Offline Horizontal pleasures

You get paid for your own work in £50 notes and you realise you can pay for a punt without a bulging wallet. Happened to me this week.

Offline Horizontal pleasures

when .... you can start a thread on here and watch the replies drifting in.

Offline Horizontal pleasures

when ... the missus refers to the woman's voice on the satnav as 'your dominatrix'.

Offline webpunter

When you see a certain type of burd on the beach and think ........... HP would have a go at that  :lol:
>
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Just jestin'.  As always respec  :thumbsup:

Offline Cumberland

When like me you want to quit your job as it involves too much travel away from home, but you don’t do that because without it you wouldn’t have the cover to punt. So you know you’re a punter when....your chosen career is engineered to enable punting and everything else is secondary.

mrpeterman

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You become ever more creative in your company expenses to clear cost of a punt...

Offline notcalledchris

You become ever more creative in your company expenses to clear cost of a punt...

You fit early morning business meetings to allow you to arrive in a different city the night before so you can check into a hotel and bang an outcall whore before falling asleep.