You know you're a punter when...

[Bogof60]

When driving to a punt you see a car with the registration letters VAG
Or at least you think you saw it as I am not even sure those letters are allowed 

[cerealpunter]

When helping a mate fix his car and the problem is with the CIM
(Column Integrated Module)

[Cumberland]

I punt when in London so ‘I know I’m a punter when...’ just looking at this map gives me a semi....

Hidden Image/Members Only

[mh]

I punt when in London so ‘I know I’m a punter when...’ just looking at this map gives me a semi....

A semi in London could be worth quite a bit ... to the lucky WG on the receiving end. 

[Vkcs20]

Omg although most of my punts are mostly abroad, i can “relate” to some of the posts! LOL

[thor555]

when my young nephew asks to go cimming but really wants to go swimming!!

Yup, i went cimming today!
Was a great cim!
Why cant we go cimming?
Need to go cimming!!...
Teach me how to cim..

urrrm... no

[ruffler]

when my young nephew asks to go cimming but really wants to go swimming!!

Yup, i went cimming today!
Was a great cim!
Why cant we go cimming?
Need to go cimming!!...
Teach me how to cim..

urrrm... no

wrong on sooooooooooooooooooooo many counts 

[Dylanbob]

When you help someone look for a place or go a friend's place for the first time and you think fuck been in this block of apartments before...

[myothernameis]

I had seen an escort at the weekend, and while I waited for her to be ready, and while I waited, spotted another 2 guys on there phone.

The area and flats are well known for escorts using the premises for incalls, so straight away, you think, I know what your here for, and vice versa

[Skeleton]

Looking at a sign in the new shopping centre in Oxford and saw 'Punting area' on it. Have to say I'm impressed with how liberal Oxford has become 

[stampjones]

When you stand outside chelsea cloisters and think, maybe this isnt the place for my wife and I to start married life together
(Ps i never actually did that but it would definitely be true)

[DHunters]

When you’re on a night out and proposition the talent in the bar to come back to yours for £200.... still not worked yet....

[Phaedrus]

When you are waiting for the call up in Chelsea cloisters and look st every woman walking past wondering if she is a SP or not

[andy2_james]

When you're in your local supermarket and 2 hot ladies with unusual accents are stocking up on wine, laundry products and wipes and your first thought is "I don't remember seeing new touring escort adverts on AW"

Followed of course by checking AW on the phone as soon as you're back in the car to see if you can find them 😆

[Fututor]

I knew I was a punter when I caught myself looking at a woman in the office thinking, "I wonder if you'd like it if I licked your arsehole". My sexual boundaries are pretty tame by the standards of this place but, viewed against the mainstream, I guess I'll never get what I want through conventional channels

[HornyHemel]

You see a car registration ending with OWO, start thinking about the last bout of OWO you enjoyed before the missus in the passenger seat asks what is so funny?

[Cum_again]

You’re at a conference venue and 2/3rds of the 600 people there a women, and the women are pretty much  all under 30...

And you start assessing each one for if they do anal, rimming, swallow jizz...

[shagmore]

You check the availability of any decent Wgs before you confirm the business meeting the other side of the country
 

[threechilliman]

I knew I was a punter when I caught myself looking at a woman in the office thinking, "I wonder if you'd like it if I licked your arsehole". My sexual boundaries are pretty tame by the standards of this place but, viewed against the mainstream, I guess I'll never get what I want through conventional channels

Ive certainly had those thoughts. Ive often wondered what she'd say if i asked.......?  or  ??

[Steely Dan]

Ive certainly had those thoughts. Ive often wondered what she'd say if i asked.......?  or  ??

'oo-ah, are you really an MP?'

[threechilliman]

'oo-ah, are you really an MP?'

If I were an MP I wouldn't have just wondered!!

[Jvosta]

You see a car registration ending with OWO, start thinking about the last bout of OWO you enjoyed before the missus in the passenger seat asks what is so funny?

Was in an Uber few weeks back that had this 

[mh]

You see a car registration ending with OWO, start thinking about the last bout of OWO you enjoyed before the missus in the passenger seat asks what is so funny?

Was in an Uber few weeks back that had this 

Well I think Uber are onto a winner offering OWO in their cabs. 

[Brokenshed]

When you get home after a few pints and all you can think about is, "I could do with a prossie now", but even if it wasn't too late to book anyone, you couldn't drive  anywhere cos you've harp a drink, and even if there was a decent whore 2 bus stops away, she'd turn you away, cos you smell of drink.

[MilleMiglia]

When driving to a punt you see a car with the registration letters VAG
Or at least you think you saw it as I am not even sure those letters are allowed 

I once saw B1 DOM. I chuckled at the thought of a naïve young man called Dominic, driving around unawares.....

[Bogof60]

As You can probably tell by now I look at car registrations.

Coming back from a punt today I saw GFE and that was what I had just had.(review to follow)
Then MIW (Made in Wales, East England member) turned into the road in front of me

[puntingpumping1920]

You know you're a punter when your body count is an estimate

[Kingy28]

As You can probably tell by now I look at car registrations.

Coming back from a punt today I saw GFE and that was what I had just had.(review to follow)
Then MIW (Made in Wales, East England member) turned into the road in front of me

I worked with a nice looking 40 something whose registration was COB. And yes I definitely would have enjoyed that. She had a nice pair

[RedKettle]

Your birthday is coming and the wife says that you should have a treat.

You immediately start thinking of the girls on your AW HL "Targets".......

[Bogof60]

Body count 
Love that. 

[MrMatrix]

You know you're a punter when your body count is an estimate

How true....

[Real John Doe]

You know you're a punter when you dread your GF wants a bit and you have to pretend you're up for it

[itk]

You know you're a punter when your body count is an estimate

Very true, wish I’d personally kept a count of them all.

[RedKettle]

You know you're a punter when you dread your GF wants a bit and you have to pretend you're up for it

And after sex with your wife or gf you think “great that has saved me £120.”

[MrMatrix]

And after sex with your wife or gf you think “great that has saved me £120.”

Errr sex with the wife......................whats that then 

[mh]

And after sex with your wife or gf you think “great that has saved me £120.”

Do you want to revise that figure? If I paid £120 and got the normal wife service I'd be asking for £100 back... 

[Professor4]

I think the same. When I do shag the wife I then think thank god I haven’t actually paid for that!!! Although in reality it’s cost a fuckin fortune over the years.

[vincemfoto]

When you get the bill in a fancy restaurant and think jesus I could have had an hour of fun for that amount.

[Jvosta]

When you’re secretly laughing at your non punter mate whos desperate for pussy

[Avg_Joe]

Do you want to revise that figure? If I paid £120 and got the normal wife service I'd be asking for £100 back... 

  so true

[RedKettle]

Do you want to revise that figure? If I paid £120 and got the normal wife service I'd be asking for £100 back... 

I have to say that sex with the wife (although rare) is very good, whilst not involving some of the tricks you get with a WG it is more meaningful and intimate.

However before I get suspected of being from a certain mum’s website I did deliberately say £120 rather than the £140/£150 I have paid for some awesome sex.

[RedKettle]

When you get the bill in a fancy restaurant and think jesus I could have had an hour of fun for that amount.

Never eaten that much at Pizza Hut!

[mh]

I have to say that sex with the wife (although rare) is very good, whilst not involving some of the tricks you get with a WG it is more meaningful and intimate.

However before I get suspected of being from a certain mum’s website I did deliberately say £120 rather than the £140/£150 I have paid for some awesome sex.

I've said it before, although at home I get almost none of the very enjoyable services I have had when punting, sex with the OH is pretty good when it happens. I know she enjoys it and that's a turn on, but it is frustrating that even though she comes like a train, she doesn't want sex more than once every couple of months (and that is a big increase in frequency from the twice a year when the offspring were still kids/teenagers.

So if those from a certain mum's website are listening in, take this on board - some of us really like having sex with our wives and partners, we want you to enjoy it, we would prefer not to go behind your backs to get our rocks off and goodness knows we don't want to have to pay out to do so, but if we don't get it at home we will look elsewhere. Oh, and we would prefer you to extend your "likes" list, thanks for listening... 

[Bogof60]

Excellent post^

[Horizontal pleasures]

When you see a road sign HUMPS FOR 1 MILE. I never measured how far I have been humping.

[Professor4]

Brilliant post mh. Once married they seem to slowly withdraw the sex. I bet not many men would marry in another life . In my case it’s once a week or so but a blow up doll would probably be better at it than my lazy bitch. No blow job for years. Funny how it’s ok before marriage! Even the hand job is now lack lustre. Come in wives. More fuckin effort! Then you would have more housekeeping money  as it wouldn’t be gong on willing slags.

[MrMatrix]

Brilliant post mh. Once married they seem to slowly withdraw the sex. I bet not many men would marry in another life . In my case it’s once a week or so but a blow up doll would probably be better at it than my lazy bitch. No blow job for years. Funny how it’s ok before marriage! Even the hand job is now lack lustre. Come in wives. More fuckin effort! Then you would have more housekeeping money  as it wouldn’t be gong on willing slags.

Thats 52 times a year more frequently than me. And no I wouldnt get married again. Not sure about in another life.

[Horizontal pleasures]

More fuckin effort! Then you would have more housekeeping money as it wouldn’t be going on willing slags.

... about whom maybe you can write a review or two?

[Home Alone]

When you see a road sign HUMPS FOR 1 MILE. I never measured how far I have been humping.

    

You don't often come up with a gem, HP - imo, at any rate - but this is a belter!

[Dorsetpunter]

You get asked to attend a meeting to discuss DP policies and then realise they mean Data Protectoon