You know you're a punter when...

[itk]

When your punting phone has the contacts and then on 'notes' it gives a brief description of what they were like. Too many names now on there and with SA contacts on there as well, it's become necessary so I don't confuse WG's with SB's

[joe diddley]

When your punting phone has the contacts and then on 'notes' it gives a brief description of what they were like. Too many names now on there and with SA contacts on there as well, it's become necessary so I don't confuse WG's with SB's

I like a little light sploshing sometimes and have been logged on one WG's phone as "Mr Trifle".

[dude86]

All the headlines of 'A-Levels results day' and you just smirk and think of the WGs you've had bum fun with.

Also weighing up which of the female news readers would be likely to offer that particular service...

[Horizontal pleasures]

You see a parked van in Chelmsford named MA Booty Builder, and your mind runs on ...

[Horizontal pleasures]

You are looking through the autumn programme with the missus for a community centre and there is a section called Adult Learning and your mind runs on but you have to stop yourself from smiling.

[anonyorks]

When a girl you've seen appears on the Adult Channel freeview 

[Horizontal pleasures]

External Link/Members Only

I typed into Google, You know you're a punter and this came up ....

[Plan R]

I like a little light sploshing sometimes and have been logged on one WG's phone as "Mr Trifle".

  Legend

[adamza]

When you wake up with a boner and have to mentally flip a coin whether to fire up pornhub or your favourite agency's website...

[Dr Talueng]

You see a parked van in Chelmsford named MA Booty Builder, and your mind runs on ...

... or a van parked in a motorway services which says on the side all kinds of assorted building work, and also mentions 'butt fusion'.

(and I have a photo somewhere of said van!)

[Cumberland]

When the Tom Odell song lyrics for 'Here I Am' seem to be describing your punting life just about right.....

I thought I was over you
I'd put out the flame
Said tonight will be different
I wouldn't need to play your games
I walk past your tower block
Saw a flick in the blinds
I said tonight will be different
And that I won't come back
Here I am
Running up the seventh floor
Knocking the eleventh door
I'mma sick of trying
I'mma sick of trying
Baby could I love you some more
Baby could I love you some more

 

[Horizontal pleasures]

When the Tom Odell song lyrics for 'Here I Am' seem to be describing your punting life just about right.....

I thought I was over you
I'd put out the flame
Said tonight will be different
I wouldn't need to play your games
I walk past your tower block
Saw a flick in the blinds
I said tonight will be different
And that I won't come back
Here I am
Running up the seventh floor
Knocking the eleventh door
I'mma sick of trying
I'mma sick of trying
Baby could I love you some more
Baby could I love you some more

 

punting? Grenfell more likely

[mh]

A little modification makes it more realistic for me:

I thought I was over you
I'd put out the flame
Said tonight will be different
I wouldn't need to play your games
I walk past your tower block
Saw a flick in the blinds
I said tonight will be different
And that I won't come back
Do you think you may be frigid?
There's no action in the sack
So this time I kept on walking
I paid a girl instead
It was so much better
Without your nagging in my head
GFE and PSE
and a facial at the end
Saving for the next one now
Perhaps a duo with her friend...

[Jay189]

When you check your Google Maps history and see all these destinations to random towns lol.

[azrael]

When you realise your a addicted to punting 

[joe diddley]

when you realise that you're spending more time on here than actually punting

[mh]

when you realise that you're spending more time on here than actually punting

This belongs in another thread - "You know you're a savvy punter when..." 

[wheeliebinwanking]

When at work dealing with a new team with an acronym of C.I.M leaves me smiling away to myself...

I would love to tell them there name is inappropriate but I think I'd be the one outed

Another one for me is looking at ANYONE at work using a second phone, especially a non fancy one with knowing look!

WBW

[PeachyAssFan]

When you check your Google Maps history and see all these destinations to random towns lol.

+1 and delete your entire history to be on the safe side

[Horizontal pleasures]

when you notice with a smile an AW profile from a place called Cumnock!


External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

[candec]

When your street knowledge of a city has been acquired from your punts.

[Conker]

When rock in at work, knowing fucked woman nicer than any that work there.

When u know the, price, enjoys list, age etc.. every AW  profile in your area off by heart

When you can instantly spot a dodgy profile on, AW

When planning a  short notice booking you compile a short  list of at least 3WG

When you have two hotlists of thoses you have done and those who you are going to do.

When you budget for it in your monthly salary

[Dipper]

Some great posts here....
 
YKYAPW:  you do a double take when someone on tele describes Cambridge as "the punting capital.."

 

[Horizontal pleasures]

You know you are a punter when you put in UK into the search bar on your browser and before you add the P you have the site name up.

You know you are a punter when you put in wor .. and worst escort picture challenge is completed automatically and goes to the thread.

[Dipper]

You become a master of memorising seven digit numbers....

[Home Alone]

Late last Sunday morning, I'm watching the football programmes on Channel 5 & the voice-over, referring to Notts County - I think - playing Cambridge United away, mentioned  their "visit to the punting capital"! 

[threechilliman]

You're reminiscing over old European currencies and someone mentions the Irish Punt

[Horizontal pleasures]

You see a huge roadside advertisement for a Pet Supermarket. You remember that years ago petting was sort of vanilla sex that we did as teenagers.

[standardpostage]

You accidentally keep putting your ukpunting password in other non punting websites 

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Apparently there is a qualification called the "CIM Marketing Award".

[anotherwoody69]

You see a car in the street with a personalised number plate of 88 FS.

You think, some hookers doing well from barebacking.............as you read it as Bare Back Full Service.

[Avg_Joe]

..... ur second port of call after looking at available hotels for a business trip, is here (or UKE) to find out which of said hotels are most accommodating for outcalls, and which WGs are worth booking in that area 

[saura]

.... you check profile pics and pay more attention to the background, room and flooring to find evidence if you've visited the place before 

[tdh]

When u use the word duo in civvie life instead of the word double act. Highly embarrassing when done in front of a woman 

[Kriss]

When an advert for Adult Swimming Sessions conjures up images underwater gang bangs at the local leisure centre. 

[Horizontal pleasures]

You are perusing a newspaper article on WW1 and there are references to Huns. All you can think about is the text messages from your last punt, where the lady calls you 'hun' in the message.

[Horizontal pleasures]

A discussion of penetrating wounds in a recent first aid course leads to obvious thoughts of penetration!

[myothernameis]

It finishing time in work, and me and the female colleagues are clocking of, and heading home.

You have to go up stairs, to get to the locker rooms, sometimes the females are in front of you, and you cant help but look at there asses, hoping you wont get clocked

[Home Alone]

... you're driving to a Hospital outpatient appointment in a nearby town which you've not been since you used to visit Parlours and or seen Independent SPs earlier in your punting career.

And you can't help wondering if the girls you saw then are still working.

[dipset]

When you see new flats getting built and wonder how many SPs will be moving in

[Dipper]

You're reminiscing over old European currencies and someone mentions the Irish Punt

 

[Jsjs311299]

When your street knowledge of a city has been acquired from your punts.

So true. Guildford, Woking, Crawley, Southampton for sure!!

[Horizontal pleasures]

So true. Guildford, Woking, Crawley, Southampton for sure!!

wow all those places you have punted and not one review. I look forward to reading some.

[Bogof60]

Any time you see or hear mention a mango you think of KT

[dizietsmae]

Any time you see or hear mention a mango you think of KT

 

[Home Alone]

When you see new flats getting built and wonder how many SPs will be moving in

  

[Phaedrus]

You're in Mothercare and you start checking out all the Yummy Mummies whilst pricing them up   

[notcalledchris]

You leave a wgs flat and look at yourself in the mirror in the lift and realise your shirt is covered with fake tan.  Refurn to work via m and s and the office disabled loo.

[mrpeterman]

I'm sure this has been said, but you have to go to a city for a meeting and you think of birds you have fucked there, your hot list etc..and know you have a few hours research coming!!

Prime example London next month and I've not a clue who to select for a punt from my London hi....

Busy bees

[CoolTiger]

Just having a look on AW to plan my week and a girl caught my eye - so I did a UKP search.

Found my own negative review!! 

When you've been punting for far too long!!

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=164368.0