I currently have a regular who is really more like a FB.
Shes part time and does it as much for the sex as the money.
Last time we met we were all over each other as soon as the door closed.
The meet was supposed to be an hour but I ended up staying for almost 2.
Between rounds we lay there naked on the bed just chatting about our lives and cuddling.
I remember doing similar with the OH in the early days of my marriage.
Women think its about pure, selfish lust, the mans desire to stick his dick into anything that moves and it just isn't, its about affection, intimacy, about being there with another person, your naked self, not about PIV sex (as feminists and Mumsnetters love to call it).
This what I don't get.
Doesn't my wife miss it, does she think its not important? Does she think I'm going to live like a monk with no explanantion? Sometimes it makes me resentful, so I avoid her and plan my next meet.
A couple we know split recently over this issue, it was messy and acrimonious, apparenly to avoid giving his wife a free house the guy stopped paying the mortgage and used the money for the deposit on a place for him and his girlfriend, the wife ended up with nothing and the whole thing went right over my wifes head!
Whenever I try and bring it up she becomes ultra defensive, so I stopped trying. I think she does her best in every other aspect of our relationship but you can see her making the mental calculations throughout the day "Did the ironing, cooked dinner, he can't possibly pester me for sex now".
I have posted on here about post punt depression, part of that is definitely the feeling after a great meet that things shouldn't have to be this way, that it should be me and her enjoying the post fuck glow together and it breaks my heart sometimes to come home to the same old same old.
My wife told me once how she didn't want to end up in the same relationship as her parents. Other than, unlike her hen pecked old man, I have the balls to go out and have fun I can't see the difference.
Rant over.
Punterenas