The worst escort picture challenge

[ZeroCount]

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42? fuck she's had a hard paper round

She says "I promise you , you'll leave with a smile on your face."

I think if I'd gone to meet her, leaving is the only thing that could put a smile on my face.

[Ivor Hunch]

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42? fuck she's had a hard paper round

apparently Charles Hawtree didn't die, he just died his hair blonde.

[MJ.spritzen]

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    42? fuck she's had a hard paper round

apparently Charles Hawtree didn't die, he just died his hair blonde.

Oh, hello!


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[pepsicolaboy]

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When they say "big clit", do they mean a dick?

This one even asks you for a deposit before booking.

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Which way roung is the transition? (serious Q) Looks to be born a male.

Anyway I wont be taking one of the team...in January 

 

[DouglasReynholm]

apparently Charles Hawtree didn't die, he just died his hair blonde.

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Nope, he's dead alright. I'm going to set up a VS account just to leave bad feedback about that door frame. Just look at it.

Which way roung is the transition? (serious Q) Looks to be born a male.

Anyway I wont be taking one of the team...in January 

 

Which way roung is the transition? Transitions are wrong in every way mate. Well, 99% of them. I can't even work out which way round it is, but in any case, you've made him close his account, you transphobic Nazi! External Link/Members Only The police will be banging on your door soon. 

[MrMatrix]

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Nope, he's dead alright. I'm going to set up a VS account just to leave bad feedback about that door frame. Just look at it.

Which way roung is the transition? Transitions are wrong in every way mate. Well, 99% of them. I can't even work out which way round it is, but in any case, you've made him close his account, you transphobic Nazi! External Link/Members Only The police will be banging on your door soon. 

Her teeth are in the glass next to the bed--just where your head is

[Dudleypunter]

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Shall hello to this lovely BBer

I’m glad I’m not white or have a giant BBC

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[DouglasReynholm]

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Shall hello to this lovely BBer

I’m glad I’m not white or have a giant BBC

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I'm glad I don't use anything made by Apple. Have you got a real link?

[Dudleypunter]

Annoyingly I can’t find the link…

I’m glad I don’t go through life being as savage as you tho…



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[DouglasReynholm]

Annoyingly I can’t find the link…

I’m glad I don’t go through life being as savage as you tho…

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I do hope my female employees don't see me that way. I am only savage about Apple products. They're like poxy Hugo Boss suits: same as the other off-the-peg tat but with a logo on.

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[Waterhouse]

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[DouglasReynholm]

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Yes, one of the worst escort pictures - in the sense that if she'd tried harder she could have looked much better and fooled a punter or two.

She's a party girl alright: External Link/Members Only - I think she's part of a crack team, judging by her teeth.

[MrMatrix]

Yes, one of the worst escort pictures - in the sense that if she'd tried harder she could have looked much better and fooled a punter or two.

She's a party girl alright: External Link/Members Only - I think she's part of a crack team, judging by her teeth.

Youre probably right...

[crawley99]

nevus flammeus.  Port wine stain

If so then it would be on all her photos - that is some severe bruising

[ZeroCount]

If so then it would be on all her photos - that is some severe bruising

The bruising has probably gone down by now, given that you're replying to a comment from over four years ago.

Have you just read all 186 pages of this thread or something? Hats off to you if you have.

[DouglasReynholm]

This one must qualify in some way:

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Sploshing isn't on her list so that's out: I have no idea why it's in her gallery. Unless she's actually a grocer? 

[DastardlyDick]

This one must qualify in some way:

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Sploshing isn't on her list so that's out: I have no idea why it's in her gallery. Unless she's actually a grocer? 

What's,wrong with half time snacks? 

[myothernameis]

This one must qualify in some way:

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Sploshing isn't on her list so that's out: I have no idea why it's in her gallery. Unless she's actually a grocer? 

From that photo, either the punter has an outcall to his hotel, or she is using the hotel as an incall location

[Waterhouse]

Nah… I figure she’s hedging her bets between escorting and opening a lunchtime Tuck-shop for the “suits” out of the Canary Wharf Britannia.   Didn’t see any mint Yo-yos or Penguin biscuits though. 

[DouglasReynholm]

Nah… I figure she’s hedging her bets between escorting and opening a lunchtime Tuck-shop for the “suits” out of the Canary Wharf Britannia.   Didn’t see any mint Yo-yos or Penguin biscuits though. 

Maybe, but I see at the bottom it says "Laughing Cow" - maybe that's what she is? When you come into her hotel room and realise she only sells snacks from a trolley? A very limited set of services IMHO.

[Waterhouse]

Not the usual staple of this thread, but is it just me, or does that look like a pair of bollox in a thong?  And those fingers look like they belong to a bare-knuckle boxer.

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I’m sure I’m wrong on both counts, though.





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[DouglasReynholm]

I'm not sure you are. But, be interesting to meet the girl who posed for the cover of The Strokes' best album.

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[JontyR]

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[Fuzzyduck]

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It was "this big", your honor.

[Roadster]

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"I had to shove his gut up and out of the way to find the cheesy little acorn"

[DouglasReynholm]

Very topical. I would definitely book her if the price was reasonable and I expect my review would say "the picture didn't do her justice."

If you live in California you can punt pornstars - if you can afford it.

[big-al93]

Very topical. I would definitely book her if the price was reasonable and I expect my review would say "the picture didn't do her justice."

If you live in California you can punt pornstars - if you can afford it.

And if you live in the uk you can punt "pornstars"- if you can afford it, but usually much less money and the majority are just escorts who went on to do a couple of videos for faketaxi or pascals subsluts. There's even threads about it.

[pepsicolaboy]

From that photo, either the punter has an outcall to his hotel, or she is using the hotel as an incall location

What is wrong with her arse 

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[DouglasReynholm]

What is wrong with her arse 

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That is less traumatizing, but takes away the impact of what you would see if you booked her. You can't read the ingredients on the packets either.

[Thecunninglinguist]

What is wrong with her arse 

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Maybe she doesn't quite get "Party Girl"?

[versace]

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I’d still fuck it!

[ZeroCount]

Maybe she doesn't quite get "Party Girl"?

You're damn right she doesn't, I don't see a single pack of party rings or midget gems, what kind of party would that be?

[Muff licker]

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Whats going on with her legs?



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[DouglasReynholm]

What's going on is, she didn't shave them then uploaded an honest photo by mistake!
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[pepsicolaboy]

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Whats going on with her legs?

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Some gents would pay decent wonga for that fetish...

[Waterhouse]

Some gents would pay decent wonga for that fetish...

I don’t think that’s hair… more likely fuzzy outline from the image itself.  Looks to me more like thread veins.

[wilbers]

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Something gone wrong in Photoshop here, the amazing disappearing arm.

[Andywb]

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Something gone wrong in Photoshop here, the amazing disappearing arm.

......and weird looking ankles 

[DouglasReynholm]

Definitely catering for the 'flesh gnawed off by zombies' fetish.

It's best to include a link to the AW page wilbers.    External Link/Members Only

[Waterhouse]

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[MJ.spritzen]

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Jesus!

She offers "cowper"... anyone know what that is? Or should we not ask?

[Easygoingdude]

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Had to do a double take there. Initially I thought it was Johnny Herbert 

[yesbby]

Roger Taylor from Queen has let himself go

[Punterperson1971]

Had to do a double take there. Initially I thought it was Johnny Herbert 

I’d have said mo from east Enders


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[m4rmite]

I’d have said mo from east Enders


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Her brother is Gary Oldman, so maybe worth a dabble to get in with the family

[alligatr]

I don’t think that’s hair… more likely fuzzy outline from the image itself.  Looks to me more like thread veins.

Pretty sure it's from portrait mode on iPhone cameras. Where it tries to simulate depth-of-field by guessing what you're trying to take a picture of and blurring the background to make it look like you're adjusting the focal length. It always looks a bit dodgy if you look closely at the edges.

[Ali Katt]

Had to do a double take there. Initially I thought it was Johnny Herbert 

I thought it was Dafydd from Little Britain

[Punterperson1971]

I see bo selecta’s Mel B is now offering services apprently she’s very hot

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[DastardlyDick]

I see bo selecta’s Mel B is now offering services apprently she’s very hot

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It's a NO from me.

[RottenVanilla]

It's a NO from me.

First, she doesn't mention how hot is she, I prefer mine to be over 40 Celsius.
And second, she does owo, but doesn't do escorting   

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