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External Link/Members Only£60 for 30 mins (was more like 20 mins in the end)
Just fucking terrible - probably the most inept attempt at prostitution I've ever experienced.
Having been let down by another EE I was thinking with my cock, and instead of heading back and bashing one out, I found someone else who would do 30 mins for £60. She was ready to go in half an hour, clearly lacking in customers for reasons that will become clear. Has no English - I think I was negotiating with a maid over text. She's based in St George's circus, in a good modern flat between the Elephant and Waterloo. Usual problems with the buzzer not working - in the end some bloke let me in which was a little disconcerting.
Got up there and was greeting by Nicol, a pretty Romanian with a good pear-shaped figure and clad in nice lingerie. However, if you had asked her what I looked like she'd have no fucking clue because she couldn't take her gaze off her iphone. I pulled out the notes and she said "is £70". "Not on adultwork is not" I rebutted, which canned that particular scam.
The usual perfunctory service then ensued - I was asked to take my clothes off with all the tenderness of a matron inspecting bed pans. Tried to kiss but "is extra". She then applied the condom with the same lack of enthusiasm - I was prepared to forgo owo but she then told me that covered oral was also extra!
Christ, I thought, let's just pump and dump. We did 20 mins of cowgirl, doggy then missionary in almost complete silence (no kissing, as, guess what - it was extra) before she extracted a joyless orgasm out of me. After which, she returned to her iphone while I got dressed. Then - and I PROMISE you I'm not exaggerating this - she let me out of the flat without exchanging a single word with me or taking her gaze away from her iphone.
Terrible - absolutely terrible. If I'd wasted any more than £60 and an hour I'd be fuming, but I fully count this as a TOFTT and hope to save someone else from a similarly shit experience.