This will in all likelihood be my briefest review ever, so rejoice.
Arranged a 9pm booking with _SweetMONIQUE_ at precisely 16:00 hrs yesterday. She kindly sent me her address by SMS and we agreed that she would wear a black dress and heels.
I informed her that I would also place the booking through Adultwork and promptly did so. Her response: “Perfect”.
Knowing it was a Friday evening and that the traffic would be horrendous, I took a cab at 20:10 on the dot to ensure I would not be late.
39 minutes or so later - just as the taxi was passing Euston station and the meter read £27.80, I received the following SMS from Monique (sic.):
Bbe im really sorry I can meet with you at 10 oclock. I hope is still ok. If not maybe another time. Im really sorry again xxxx
Quickly followed by:
Im really sorry emergency situation
So, let me get this straight. I’m the paying customer, yet I’m supposed to fit around the Service Provider’s
schedule and/or ‘emergency situation’. Makes sense. In WG land.
Perhaps Monique thought I would enjoy drawing amusing shapes and images in the frost-covered windows of locally parked cars .. for a fucking hour. Or perhaps she thought I might enjoy the splendid architecture of WC1X in the sub-arctic weather – by night.Stupid cunt.
Needless to say, I instructed the driver to make a U-Turn on Gray’s Inn Road and headed back home.
Thanks Monique …The Good:
She sent me her address quickly. Not that I would need it …
She happily agreed to my request to wear a black dress and heels. Not that I ever got to see them …The Bad:
Euston Road.The Ugly:
Monique’s amazing reliability.
Monique’s phenomenal timekeeping.
Monique’s extraordinary customer service.
Monique’s unparalleled ability to invent a pathetic excuse to justify the above.Final words
I have written before that the only
thing I ever expect from a WG is consideration. I don’t particularly care if I don’t like the girls I meet – I still pay them. I do care about one thing though: having my time wasted by poor, bullshit excuses.
That said, I think with hindsight Monique missed a trick. All she had to do was send me an excuse that was both believable and understandable. An excuse such as:
Im really sorry – I double booked you with my lobotomist.
Bottom of the list for this one – at least until if and when I decide to return and subsequently re-review.PALS Rating Scale (0-40) + Value (0-10)
P - Personality
A - Attitude
L - Looks
S - Service
Michelle Independent - 9/10/9/10/10 - 48
Stunning Julie - 9/9/9/10/10 - 47
Anna-Marie - 8/9/10/10/10 - 47
Khloe Sexy Girl - 9/8/10/9.5/10 - 46.5
Emily Crème Brulee - 9.5/10/9/10/8 – 46.5
Hot Teen Fuck - 9/9.5/10/9.5/8 - 46
Dee - 9/10/8/10/9 - 46
Anna-Marie - 9/9/9/9/10 - 46
Maggie21 - 9/10/7/10/9 - 45
Brazilian Mel - 10/9/9.5/8/7 - 43.5
Adele4U - 9/9/7/10/8 - 43
Sweet & Kinky Nicole - 8/8/10/6.5/10 - 42.5
Vanessa$ - 9/9/8/9/7 - 42
Lola Bell - 9/9/6/9/9 - 42
Brooklyn Blue - 9/9/9/7/7 - 41
Girlfriend Dior - 8/7/7/9/8 - 39 _SweetMONIQUE_
- 0/0/0/1/0 - 1SexyPorsha (on the subs bench)All-time Hall of Fame
Pandora - 10/10/10/9/8 – 47
Sylvia - 8/10/10/9/10 - 47
Nicole Foxxx - 10/10/9/9/8 - 46
Chantel - 10/8/9/9/8 - 44
Jessica - 8/9/10/9/6 - 42