How to escalate massage with ‘professional’ masseuse that is attracted to me?

[Massage Bloke]

"you're the nicest massage burd I've seen in a long time, don't be surprised  if I have a tent pole.

[advent2016]

A “legit” provider is never going to say yes to any extras over text because brings her legal issues

She might offer them in the room but you’re missing out if you keep shooting yourself in the foot with this approach 🤷‍♂️ Not sure why you thought they would say anything other than this?

Katie
I sometimes  visit a legit massage if I want a good massage.
If I can't tell from the advert if it is in the escort section on say VS ,I use my standard exploratory message what I am looking for a sexual service.
I find like with Sasha if they are just massage and when I visit I make no mention of a sexual aspect. If they raise it then I'll respond or not as I choose.
I hope that clarifies it.
That's why I like AW as it has selectable catagories so long as the SP has listed the correct ones.

[KatieEdinburgh]

Katie
I sometimes  visit a legit massage if I want a good massage.
If I can't tell from the advert if it is in the escort section on say VS ,I use my standard exploratory message what I am looking for a sexual service.
I find like with Sasha if they are just massage and when I visit I make no mention of a sexual aspect. If they raise it then I'll respond or not as I choose.
I hope that clarifies it.
That's why I like AW as it has selectable catagories so long as the SP has listed the correct ones.

That’s fine just you might find yourself better serviced by WSWS massage providers if you don’t start off with a message like that. They assume you could be police

[advent2016]

That’s fine just you might find yourself better serviced by WSWS massage providers if you don’t start off with a message like that. They assume you could be police

As I said - sometimes I choose only legit practitioners only for a rehab type of massage, often through personal recommendation as a first step before I see a qualified physio  or chiropractor

It's that mysterious middle ground. I'm not really a fan of WSWS, If I want a sexual encounter I'll look inthe right place as I want a definite outcome.

As for the police (and I'm no expert here), I hope they can use their time better than trying to find out if legitimate masseurs are actually prostitutes, and wouldn't, they have to send someone and record them offering services in person for it to hold up in court, otherwise the SP could say it was a misunderstanding on the phone / txt? (assuming they haven't a large collection from the same SP)

[Jonestown]

As for the police (and I'm no expert here), I hope they can use their time better than trying to find out if legitimate masseurs are actually prostitutes, and wouldn't, they have to send someone and record them offering services in person for it to hold up in court, otherwise the SP could say it was a misunderstanding on the phone / txt? (assuming they haven't a large collection from the same SP)

It’s not just the police, Local Councils licence massage outlets on an annual basis and take a much more keen interest in what goes on in their areas. Sending people in, canvassing for complaints, and phoning up making enquiries is well within their remit and has been documented in some instances.

[RandomGuy99]

As I said - sometimes I choose only legit practitioners only for a rehab type of massage, often through personal recommendation as a first step before I see a qualified physio  or chiropractor

It's that mysterious middle ground. I'm not really a fan of WSWS, If I want a sexual encounter I'll look inthe right place as I want a definite outcome.

As for the police (and I'm no expert here), I hope they can use their time better than trying to find out if legitimate masseurs are actually prostitutes, and wouldn't, they have to send someone and record them offering services in person for it to hold up in court, otherwise the SP could say it was a misunderstanding on the phone / txt? (assuming they haven't a large collection from the same SP)

The police might receive complaints from the public or malicious twats of something happening at the premises and then the police might try to find out what is happening there by texting or making a booking. The police aren't stupid and they know what happens in these places. They turn a blind eye as long as nothing bad is happening and I am sure these types of business get random visit from immigration officials checking on the employees immigration status. 

[tp69]

Would you like to go for a drink sometime? Simple, and so what if she says no.

Trying to ask for extras would be insulting to her if she does actually like you.

Use words. Making a physical move on a professional without consent is creepy as hell.

[Cambridgy]

Pay her a compliment back - "You're so pretty. I bet loads of guys ask you for extras? I'd be v tempted - as you as so hot"

Exactly this - just use a bit of nuance.

If you say something like this in a fun way, you'll get things understood without damaging the relationship or embarrassing her or yourself....

The averages are around a third of blokes who call for first appointment will ask her upfront - so she won't be shocked by the question.
She may say "they are all dirty perverts" or some-such but that's not you!

On many occasions over the years I've had dinner with a legit therapist I've got to know.
I don't understand the aversion to that idea higher up the thread.

[Cambridgy]

Would you like to go for a drink sometime? Simple, and so what if she says no.

Trying to ask for extras would be insulting to her if she does actually like you.

Use words. Making a physical move on a professional without consent is creepy as hell.

100%

[Jonestown]

She’s probably a health freak, so better make it a juice that’s on offer, booze might offend, or you’ll get a lecture.

[Fuzzyduck]

Would you like to go for a drink sometime? Simple, and so what if she says no.

Trying to ask for extras would be insulting to her if she does actually like you.

Use words. Making a physical move on a professional without consent is creepy as hell.

He didn't ask for advice on social skills and going on a date. He asked how he could broach the subject of getting some action.

[Fuzzyduck]

Exactly this - just use a bit of nuance.

If you say something like this in a fun way, you'll get things understood without damaging the relationship or embarrassing her or yourself....

The averages are around a third of blokes who call for first appointment will ask her upfront - so she won't be shocked by the question.
She may say "they are all dirty perverts" or some-such but that's not you!

On many occasions over the years I've had dinner with a legit therapist I've got to know.
I don't understand the aversion to that idea higher up the thread.

I disagree. It's a corny line. She's EE with poor English so nuance might be missed on her.
How do you know around a third of blokes will ask upfront? Would love to see the survey data on that.

[tp69]

He didn't ask for advice on social skills and going on a date. He asked how he could broach the subject of getting some action.

To be honest, his intention is pretty unclear in that case. He finds her very attractive, enough to see her 10 times for a crap massage, so it's probably more than wanting extras. She's also legit, so after 10 visits he should've already figured out if extras are on the cards.

Asking someone tends to yield the desired result, it's not that complicated.

[RandomGuy99]

Or he could try to ask if she's been busy and that might lead to a conversation on the people she gets calling and then she might say these people are annoying because they ask for handjobs and blowjobs and sex and I don't do those things and how it's disgusting.  That answers your question without you having to ask it.

[Cambridgy]

I disagree. It's a corny line. She's EE with poor English so nuance might be missed on her.
How do you know around a third of blokes will ask upfront? Would love to see the survey data on that.

Admittedly sparse data - I know four legit Thai therapists really well (for over 10yrs).
Naturally these aren't their reg customers - but each of them gives that as the ratio.

Around 1/3 of all their first time male callers will enquire - hence sometimes us all getting a frosty reply.

[Fuzzyduck]

Admittedly sparse data - I know four legit Thai therapists really well (for over 10yrs).
Naturally these aren't their reg customers - but each of them gives that as the ratio.

Around 1/3 of all their first time male callers will enquire - hence sometimes us all getting a frosty reply.

Agreed that's sparse but still interesting. I wonder if nationality plays a part, for example do guys who ask Thai therapists first time out also ask British therapists to the same degree.

[Heph]

How do you know around a third of blokes will ask upfront? Would love to see the survey data on that.

'There is no evidence that a spear in the skull represents a significant danger, since I have never seen a peer-reviewed paper to that effect'

[Count Duckula]

If I knew I'd go and fuckin ask her for him. 

hi..my mate thinks you're fit...

[Thephoenix]

hi..my mate thinks you're fit...

Yes.......and while I'm here, could you give us a quick blow job?

[Jonestown]

I wonder if the myriad of massage training courses available have a module on how to handle requests for “extras” ?

[RandomGuy99]

OP, have you asked her yet?

[spiralnotebook]

Doubtful, he’s probably busy trolling on m*****t.

 

[RandomGuy99]

Doubtful, he’s probably busy trolling on m*****t.

 

Or he could be in hospital with a severe case of bruised bollocks.

[snaitram99]

I wonder if the myriad of massage training courses available have a module on how to handle requests for “extras” ?

Recently in a Thai shop I've been to a few times, was told that a new girl who was in Reception was being trained. Since the lady I was with has provided extras to me, I asked whether the training includes this. I was told that the girls are advised that some men may ask for this, but it's up to her whether she does it (and I know there are sometimes ladies there who only do massage - but in this case sometimes another lady will take over to provide the necessary). I did not pursue it further to ask would they provide training if the girl said she would do it but needed guidance!

[Mr Sinister]

Admittedly sparse data - I know four legit Thai therapists really well (for over 10yrs).
Naturally these aren't their reg customers - but each of them gives that as the ratio.

Around 1/3 of all their first time male callers will enquire - hence sometimes us all getting a frosty reply.

I know legit massage/sports therapists, English girls and a Spanish all told me they regularly receive enquiries about extras and sex on a weekly basis to which all are shutdown immediately and guys blocked.

I agree OP should play the long game on this if she actually likes him, go out for a drink/date

[Fuzzyduck]

OP, have you asked her yet?

The rendezvous was meant to be last Wednesday but OP has been noticeably absent on the thread he started. Poor show IMO.

[Fuzzyduck]

'There is no evidence that a spear in the skull represents a significant danger, since I have never seen a peer-reviewed paper to that effect'

I love this line. I've paraphrased it in meetings many times, although never when someone has been quoting "averages" and a hard number.

[Heph]

I love this line. I've paraphrased it in meetings many times, although never when someone has been quoting "averages" and a hard number.

I suppose I was referencing the survey aspect, which would be of only the most dubious worth. It's the kind of situation where we have to go on scuttlebutt-sources - anecdotal evidence from masseuses; chats with other punters, viewing the boards here and elsewhere.

I'd be quite inclined to take the word of just two experienced legit masseuses on the this subject as a fairly reliable guide: so four is a decent enough sample, at least for conversation's sake. I've a hunch we'd not get much more incisive or reliable data from more than a dozen, due to the reputation that massage itself has as a sensual-often-leading-to-sexual activity, and all the sensitivities around that.

[Fuzzyduck]

I suppose I was referencing the survey aspect, which would be of only the most dubious worth. It's the kind of situation where we have to go on scuttlebutt-sources - anecdotal evidence from masseuses; chats with other punters, viewing the boards here and elsewhere, and not least, the reputation of massage itself.

Oh I agree. I expect the legit providers get hassled a lot and it must be a difficult thing to navigate, but I was intrigued that someone was quoting some data.

[myothernameis]

I know legit massage/sports therapists, English girls and a Spanish all told me they regularly receive enquiries about extras and sex on a weekly basis to which all are shutdown immediately and guys blocked.

I knew of an escort, and she began her trade in a legit massage shop, and on a regular basis was ask by her customers for happy endings, her answer was no.

Regular clients kept on asking the same question, happy ending please, no one will know, but the manager of the shop heard, and fired her

Before she was fired, one or two clients were given happy endings, but nothing else, and she kept her clothes on, and no touching allowed.

So once she was fired, she realized, she could make more money, doing massages from her own home, and she began to offer extras.  The majority of her clients began to visit her home in sted of going to the massage shop.

From this she moved into the Glasgow city centre, in a private flat, and now operated as an escort, but a few years later she passed away, after a fatal heart attack

[Heph]

That is a deeply unhappy ending for all concerned   

[Jonestown]

The rendezvous was meant to be last Wednesday but OP has been noticeably absent on the thread he started. Poor show IMO.

He’s probably on his honeymoon with his new ex-therapist wife.

[bristolnick]

We need a happy ending to this story more than he does!

[Cambridgy]

Oh I agree. I expect the legit providers get hassled a lot and it must be a difficult thing to navigate, but I was intrigued that someone was quoting some data.

You could fund setting up a shop and run a prospective, triple-blinded trial?

I'm the guilty party - for whom a multi-expert consensus with high inter-rater reliability is enough data.

[Fuzzyduck]

You could fund setting up a shop and run a prospective, triple-blinded trial?

I'm the guilty party - for whom a multi-expert consensus with high inter-rater reliability is enough data.

There's a lot of bias in your methodology.

[elitefreak]

Hey guys…

Thought I’d give an update.

I chickened out in the end.

I do usually wear no boxers.

When she knocked on the door and came in she said I never wear any boxers, I asked if its an issue and she said its fine since I’ve been coming a year..

Usually when I come in we talk but I’m at opposite side of room, next time im going to come in and in front of her instead

When I hugged her bye from the side she didn’t flinch and held me back

I am so autistic guys

Im gonna try seeing her again this week.

[RandomGuy99]

Hey guys…

Thought I’d give an update.

I chickened out in the end.

I do usually wear no boxers.

When she knocked on the door and came in she said I never wear any boxers, I asked if its an issue and she said its fine since I’ve been coming a year..

Usually when I come in we talk but I’m at opposite side of room, next time im going to come in and in front of her instead

When I hugged her bye from the side she didn’t flinch and held me back

I am so autistic guys

Im gonna try seeing her again this week.

Thanks for the update. I was beginning to think the two of you might be away on your honeymoon.

[Upsndowns79]

Thanks for the update but I’m not sure exactly what you are saying?

Are you saying you normally wear your boxers but on your last visit you didn’t and she said it was fine as you are a regular? Did you remain naked for the massage and did she cover you up?

Is it the 1st time you’ve hugged her? You say she didn’t flinch but held you back? I’m not sure what you mean? Did she welcome your hug or resist it? Was it a warm or cold response?

Very confused

[elitefreak]

Thanks for the update but I’m not sure exactly what you are saying?

Are you saying you normally wear your boxers but on your last visit you didn’t and she said it was fine as you are a regular? Did you remain naked for the massage and did she cover you up?

Is it the 1st time you’ve hugged her? You say she didn’t flinch but held you back? I’m not sure what you mean? Did she welcome your hug or resist it? Was it a warm or cold response?

Very confused

Last 4-5 times Havent worn it and she mentioned it last time sayinf I never wear and its ok since I’ve been coming a year

I hugged her last year and it was a weird hug where she pushed her hips out of the way lol but this time she didn’t do anything like that

She covered me on massage my butt but when working each leg I think she’d untuck one side.

When I flipped to front (I do 90 mins and she spends 80 mins on my back) last 10 mins she covered front but lowered it a bit more, still covering but low

[Upsndowns79]

Last 4-5 times Havent worn it and she mentioned it last time sayinf I never wear and its ok since I’ve been coming a year

I hugged her last year and it was a weird hug where she pushed her hips out of the way lol but this time she didn’t do anything like that

She covered me on massage my butt but when working each leg I think she’d untuck one side.

When I flipped to front (I do 90 mins and she spends 80 mins on my back) last 10 mins she covered front but lowered it a bit more, still covering but low

Thanks for clearing that up.

If you’ve been seeing her for over a year and having 90 minute bookings and you have instigated both the progression to been naked & having a friendly hug I think you have more than subtly indicated that you may be interested in extras.

I’d suggest that she would have picked up on your signals but it sounds like she hasn’t then instigated anything further. In these situations it is very easy for a masseuse to focus on areas that are borderline erotic and gage your response. She’s clearly not done this so my instinct says she isn’t interested in offering anything further.

If as you say her massage is average then I think you’ve reached a crossroads and need to make a decision. Either:

- Ask her politely if she does extras/massages other areas etc (you can do this with a hint of a joke)
- Accept the service for what it is and continue
- Stop visiting her and see a combination of a better masseuse (if you want a good massage) and/or a service provider researched from here that you know provides a service you want.

Good luck

[Norwichwood]

Tell her you have a groin injury can she help?

Or get a friend to ring her asking about massage - how much per hour and should he bring more for any tips? She will know what the tip is about - big tip for playing with big tip!

[Jonestown]

I’m puzzled by the hug from the side, that’s just weird, you’ll be shaking her hand next. Full frontal to full frontal is what’s required in the hug department, let her feel the awe of your manhood in full blossom, give her a pack on the cheek for good measure.  If you’re doing 90 minutes a week for the last year or so, have you worked out how much you’ve paid so far, you’re probably her best customer.

[Upsndowns79]

I’m puzzled by the hug from the side, that’s just weird, you’ll be shaking her hand next. Full frontal to full frontal is what’s required in the hug department, let her feel the awe of your manhood in full blossom, give her a pack on the cheek for good measure.  If you’re doing 90 minutes a week for the last year or so, have you worked out how much you’ve paid so far, you’re probably her best customer.

The only chance he isn’t her best customer is if she’s giving extras to others.

[yesbby]

I have a female friend who arranges dates and teaches dating skills to people. I just know if she read this thread she would be completely baffled as to why the gentleman involved hasn't just come out and said something, like 'would you like to meet for a coffee?'. This is made even more unequivocal by the fact that he doesn't even rate her massage so he has nothing to lose but something to gain by taking the plunge.

I think a massage session is a sneakily good way to meet someone - you are relaxed, getting to know someone fairly intimately with chit chat, picking up on clues about how they relate to your flirtations without having to do anything about it, and they've checked out the goods so that barrier is already toppled. I've got a date lined up with someone who's given me about 7, 45 minute hand jobs during home visit massages in my bedroom and has already told me 'you have a nice dick'. It was really not a nerve wrecking experience to move things on to the next stage when you've reached that level of knowledge.

[RandomGuy99]

I have a female friend who arranges dates and teaches dating skills to people. I just know if she read this thread she would be completely baffled as to why the gentleman involved hasn't just come out and said something, like 'would you like to meet for a coffee?'. This is made even more unequivocal by the fact that he doesn't even rate her massage so he has nothing to lose but something to gain by taking the plunge.

I think a massage session is a sneakily good way to meet someone - you are relaxed, getting to know someone fairly intimately with chit chat, picking up on clues about how they relate to your flirtations without having to do anything about it, and they've checked out the goods so that barrier is already toppled. I've got a date lined up with someone who's given me about 7, 45 minute hand jobs during home visit massages in my bedroom and has already told me 'you have a nice dick'. It was really not a nerve wrecking experience to move things on to the next stage when you've reached that level of knowledge.

But does he want a relationship or a BJ?

[RandomGuy99]

I think a massage session is a sneakily good way to meet someone - you are relaxed, getting to know someone fairly intimately with chit chat, picking up on clues about how they relate to your flirtations without having to do anything about it, and they've checked out the goods so that barrier is already toppled. I've got a date lined up with someone who's given me about 7, 45 minute hand jobs during home visit massages in my bedroom and has already told me 'you have a nice dick'. It was really not a nerve wrecking experience to move things on to the next stage when you've reached that level of knowledge.

Should an interesting story for the wedding reception.

Aunt Fiona: "How did you two meet?"

Yesbby: "On a massage table. She visited me at home 7 or 8 times and gave me a massage and hand relief and then one day I suggested going for a date first and then having another handjob at home. One thing led to another, well Susan, my daughter over there and then we decided to get married. "

[Fuzzyduck]

Last 4-5 times Havent worn it and she mentioned it last time sayinf I never wear and its ok since I’ve been coming a year

I hugged her last year and it was a weird hug where she pushed her hips out of the way lol but this time she didn’t do anything like that

She covered me on massage my butt but when working each leg I think she’d untuck one side.

When I flipped to front (I do 90 mins and she spends 80 mins on my back) last 10 mins she covered front but lowered it a bit more, still covering but low

Thanks for the update.

I get the sense that you are overthinking it. Every minor gesture that she makes, whether intentional or not, becomes further indication to you that more might be available. That's the kind of thing lovestruck people do when they are looking for any sort of sign from the target of affection. Don't kid yourself. Perhaps she comfortable with you being naked because, after all this time, you've made ZERO attempt to engage sexually. In her mind you are no threat and probably have no interest in women.

Do you have a boner when you turn over? For me that's the best (only) way for you to broach the subject. Otherwise you'll continue to spend money on poor massages looking out for that fantasy thrill every time she accidentally brushes into you.

[Munter84]

Hey guys…

Thought I’d give an update.

I'm as baffled as everyone else here. Your intention was to "escalate" things, and yet at the next massage you wore MORE clothing than usual?

I think you may well be a bit autistic, and I don't say that in an unkind way. I'm about 80% sure I must be somewhere on the spectrum myself.

You still haven't really answered what your ideal outcome is here. Do you want to pursue something romantic with this masseuse, or are you pressing for extra services? As those are two very different kettles of fish.

[RandomGuy99]

Last time sheoved her hips away because she was worried you were going to try a move on her. You didn't, so this time she didn't think you were going to try something, so she didn't move her hips away. I think you're leading her on.

If you want extras then just ask her and be prepared for being offended and saying no.

If you want a relationship with her then just ask and be prepared for her saying she already has a partner and she doesn't date customers.

You are confusing her and yourself.  That's unfair.

[elitefreak]

I'm as baffled as everyone else here. Your intention was to "escalate" things, and yet at the next massage you wore MORE clothing than usual?

I think you may well be a bit autistic, and I don't say that in an unkind way. I'm about 80% sure I must be somewhere on the spectrum myself.

You still haven't really answered what your ideal outcome is here. Do you want to pursue something romantic with this masseuse, or are you pressing for extra services? As those are two very different kettles of fish.

You misread my post I still wore no boxers.

I don’t want a relationship she is married with kids