Author Topic: Worst escort directions ever!  (Read 2196 times)

Offline mh

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I've had a few bad sets of instructions over the years but none as bad as this. It led to me knocking on the wrong door. In the wrong building!

Me: Where are you working?
Her: Flats in town centre above <name of shop>
Me: Oh yes, I know them.
<arrangements made for visit>
Her: ready now, door code XXXX, floor Y, flat Z, door is open
<There are two different entrances to the flats>
Me: which entrance? 1 or 2?
Her: 1, over <list of names of shops I am outside of>
Me: OK on my way now, 2 minutes
<door code doesn't seem to work but person leaves building so I enter>
<Locate floor, locate flat, door is closed>
<knock on door tentatively...>
<no response, thank fuck>
Me: I am at the door, there is no answer

Her: I am in NNNNNNN (name of flats, means nothing to me)
Her: <sends a photo of an entrance to a completely different block of flats >

Me: <leaves quickly, look around, walk a bit, spot an entrance that looks like the image, most definitely NOT above the named shops, some way down and OPPOSITE those named shops and above some different shops!!!>  :dash:

Review of meeting to follow in due course...

Offline Mr Garmin

My pet hate is poor directions.  Some places can be real warrens and it's bad enough being lost but also a little nervous as well and not wanting to ask a stranger for fear of drawing attention.

I've had a couple of SP's send me a video of where to go and in fact I did the same last week when an SB visited me :)

Offline shagmore

Fully agree, especially some of the new apartments that are massive, over 5 or 6 levels, with about 8 different entrances.
Usually the room number bears no resemblance to the actual floor they are on.
Very frustrating.....
Even more so when trying to leave, walking around trying to find an ext - nightmare

Online RandomGuy99

I once ended up in completely the wrong apartment building and at the door number I was told to be at. Luckily nobody opened the door when I knocked. A quick sign out at front desk, rush over to the apartment building next door, sign in at that front desk, up in lift to correct door. Got my heart beat going.

Offline mh

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I once ended up in completely the wrong apartment building and at the door number I was told to be at. Luckily nobody opened the door when I knocked. A quick sign out at front desk, rush over to the apartment building next door, sign in at that front desk, up in lift to correct door. Got my heart beat going.

I have previously been in the wrong block and couldn't find the flat because it wasn't there, but that was my misreading of a sign that said flat numbers aaa to bbb etc were in the other block. But yesterday was the first time the escort explicitly told me they were in a block of flats they were not in!

Online RandomGuy99

I once got told the SP was at one place when she was actually somewhere 2 miles away. I turned up early at the venue I had been told she was at and she wasn't there. She realised that she hadn't told me her new location after she had to move from the location I was told she was at. She cancelled my booking as she was trying to fit in another booking after mine which is why she asked me to come earlier than my agreed time and her plan didn't allow for me to now arrive late at her new location.

Offline merseyrob

I’ve had the same happen to me and fortunately in my case there was also no answer at the wrong flat.

Offline hamchang

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I once ended up in completely the wrong apartment building and at the door number I was told to be at. Luckily nobody opened the door when I knocked. A quick sign out at front desk, rush over to the apartment building next door, sign in at that front desk, up in lift to correct door. Got my heart beat going.

Had that in Yeovil once. even walked up three floors to be met by the exact door number. Knocked, then got SMS saying "1 minute" so waited then knocked again. Old lady suddenly next to me with her shopping asking if I was waiting for her? Guessed right that this was not right, and said i was confused and that I wanted a different number but was told it was on 3rd flr She corrected me saying it was up one and then watched as I walked up those bloody stairs. Halfway uyp thought fucked it and walked down and out> Another sms saying "come now" and I realised my mistake and was balls deep 15 minutes later.

Offline Mr Sinister

Went to check out a Latina in an old council estate, 2 buildings back to back with eachother, same name separated by a main building number the WG gave me the wrong one. I buzz up 32, get let in, take the lift upstairs, get to 32 some old man comes out speaking a foreign language. Initially I thought he might be 'security' then I realised I could have the wrong building. Make an excuse I'm looking for a mate Jenson and leave. Transpires the correct entrance is at the front, buzz 32 and this time the prossie answers, ended up walking as she wasn't my type.

Not the first time been sent on a wild goose chase, worst are the ones where a WG directs you to an open spot so she can see you before deciding whether to see you or not, "where are u BB, can't see u" whenever I hear that I just want to walk

Online dexpunt

I had a similar experience with a well known American SP in the North East. When the shit directions meant I ended up late for the appointment the filthy abuse I got for being a "time waster" was the worst I've ever known. Convinced I dodged a bullet in the end. She has a bit of a reputation of being hit and miss due to drug issues. Going by the abuse I'm guessing she wasn't in the best place that day

Offline MissWolf

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Believe me this goes both ways, I've lost count when on tour of the amount of guys who do not read the direction message properly.

They skim read
They assume they know
They ignore it cos they think they know better

Once I arrive at a tour location I go for a walk about and work out the best parking and walking route to my apartment,  then I draft a message and send it to my personal phone,  I then have that in sent messages to copy and paste.
I'm really clear in coms as I don't want guys wandering about aimlessly looking lost  :D

The best ones I get though are the ones who I have to call or who call me, trying to work.out where they are from the physical disruption they give me when I don't live there, is really quite frustrating, and unnecessary had they gone by my instructions to begin with.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2026, 05:41:51 pm by MissWolf »

Online Strawberry

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Believe me this goes both ways, I've lost count when on tour of the amount of guys who do not read the direction message properly.

They skim read
They assume they know
They ignore it cos they think they know better

Once I arrive at a tour location I go for a walk about and work out the best parking and walking route to my apartment,  then I draft a message and send it to my personal phone,  I then have that in sent messages to copy and paste.
I'm really clear in coms as I don't want guys wandering about aimlessly looking lost  :D

The best ones I get though are the ones who I have to call or who call me, trying to work.out where they are from the physical disruption they give me when I don't live there, is really quite frustrating, and unnecessary had they gone by my instructions to begin with.

Very similar experiences here.

Offline I like natural boobs

I imagine it's most frustrating when final instructions are given very late and you're struggling to find a place whilst rapidly running out of time. It's always a relief when instructions are given nice and early so that you have plenty of time to work it out without being late.

Offline FiveKnuckles

Outside a floors with whores.  Text the Brazilian girl for the flat number.  Intercom flat and let in quickly.
Checked which floor on the wall sign and make my way up in lift.
Got to door and knocked.  Normal looking lady in 30s (maid?) answers,  I say the name of the girl in the listing with confidence "Marianne?".  "No. Says her name".  :lol:  I knew instantly she was messing around and gets it all the time!?

I go to stairwell and call the girl.  She wants me to go back down, pass theconcierge and use the buzzer again.  :D. Eventually gives me the flat number that was 2 floors down.  She was pretty and worth the wait.  Apologetic and red faced  :wacko:

Offline scouting

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I recall what became a funny episode in the opposite sense - Chinese, sent photographs at various points along the way;


The postcode took me to a busy road quite central, just round the corner from HMP. I fed the meter and WhatsApp'd to ask the address. Another photograph was returned, this time of a street corner with a road sign on it. My 50% chance on heading the right way proved correct and I found this landmark which was outside a solicitors office. I WhatsApp'd again and was sent yet another photograph, this time of a spiral staircase, so a little wander down the street and I find the staircase. There were 4 flats, so I sent another WhatsApp and waited to see if they sent another photograph. This time it was a simple Flat C, so I went up to the 2nd floor and knocked the door. My irritation had changed to humour by this time.


Offline mh

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Believe me this goes both ways, I've lost count when on tour of the amount of guys who do not read the direction message properly.
Very similar experiences here.

Yes I am sure that happens a lot, but is hardly similar to a girl telling a punter absolutely 100% certifiable wrong information...

Understanding instructions can be hard when you you have approached a location from a different direction than the service provider expects. Or that they don't know about the numbering in adjacent blocks so can't understand a punter's confusion. But telling a punter you're in flats above shop X when you are literally not in that block...

Offline MissWolf

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Yes I am sure that happens a lot, but is hardly similar to a girl telling a punter absolutely 100% certifiable wrong information...

Understanding instructions can be hard when you you have approached a location from a different direction than the service provider expects. Or that they don't know about the numbering in adjacent blocks so can't understand a punter's confusion. But telling a punter you're in flats above shop X when you are literally not in that block...

Oh I absolutely get your frustration and the issues you guys must face. Some of it is definitely the language barrier thing  but others are just plain wrong or cant be arsed.
I see it often on other forums where new girls are advised to give a different postcode,  or to have them arrive at the block across the street so they can see the client and decide if they want to do the booking, for me thats wrong, i do my screening in coms, also for me and a postcode is just a postcode you cant get my address/apartment number from that, especially in a city, out in the sticks may differ.

Girls expect you to be discreet and blend in and you cant do that if you are stood in corridors and outside blocks of flats calling for clearer directions.

Online Strawberry

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Oh I absolutely get your frustration and the issues you guys must face. Some of it is definitely the language barrier thing  but others are just plain wrong or cant be arsed.
I see it often on other forums where new girls are advised to give a different postcode,  or to have them arrive at the block across the street so they can see the client and decide if they want to do the booking, for me thats wrong, i do my screening in coms, also for me and a postcode is just a postcode you cant get my address/apartment number from that, especially in a city, out in the sticks may differ.

Girls expect you to be discreet and blend in and you cant do that if you are stood in corridors and outside blocks of flats calling for clearer directions.

I used to sight to point out the front door (they could see me from a window), I would point out the (different colour to neighbour front door), explain the door number can be seen but quite a few put the phone down without listening or looking, then phoned from outside shouting so loudly could be heard inside or knocking on a neighbours door (their number on their door and a different colour). I work quite differently now, and because of this plus some discretion points I mention, this tends to no longer be a problem.

Offline berksboy

To avoid this as much as possible is why i like the full address before i leave so i can check it out on google street view.I then check my route and parking. Parking a lot SPs will say lots of parking but when you look it up its all residence permits only .

Ps if they are not happy to give a house no i just ask for a number near to them and hotel room no is ok when i am on site.

Offline mh

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To avoid this as much as possible is why i like the full address before i leave so i can check it out on google street view.I then check my route and parking. Parking a lot SPs will say lots of parking but when you look it up its all residence permits only .

Ps if they are not happy to give a house no i just ask for a number near to them and hotel room no is ok when i am on site.

I've asked in the past for an address nearby just so I can scope out parking and often got a refusal. Then you have the others that give you a road that isn't their road, you park up and then get told it is a different road. My first ever punt was like that, it was half a mile further on and nowhere to park, then I got berated for being late, having been early at the first address given to me!
« Last Edit: April 15, 2026, 11:20:05 am by mh »

Online therichardrichard

I understand the need for secrecy early on in the arangements but hate it when I can't get a postcode once we've arranged as just givning the town could be anywhere as I'm a stickler for having somewhere safee to park and knowing where I'm going!

But I think my biggest hate is when their profile just says something like "a short walk from the train station". Learned from my very first meeting (after walking a considerable distance in the rain) that this is often just a boilerplate phrase that remains on their profile even if they move.

Beyond that,

  • Met a girl in a Holiday Inn, of which there were two very nearby - one in "Town X" the other in "Town Y" - and she only referred to it as "Holiday Inn Town X/Town Y" and despite asking for clarification and telling her there were two she would only reply ""Holiday Inn Town X/Town Y". Still managed to get the correct one though more by luck than anything.
  • Telling me her flat was on the ground floor when it was actually on the first floor. Most confusing as there was no signs or indication of where the room were when I got inside.
  • Great directions except there were two identical looking ajoining buildings with no names on them. I got the wrong one but luckily no-one was in when I buzzed the number. She eventually sent me a photo of the correct door which solved the mystery.

Offline Massage Bloke

Many years ago I went to a newly opened brothel, on the south coast, it was located in a huge sprawling 1930s block of flats on a corner plot. I was told the flat number and also told it was on the ground floor. I was certain It would all go wrong, and there was no bell or buzzer at the main entrance, because the door was open 24/7...which was usual in those days.

As soon as I got inside and started walking along the corridor, there was an overpowering smell of weed, emanating from under the door of one of the apartment doors.

I knew I was at the right flat!

Online Strawberry

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I've asked in the past for an address nearby just so I can scope out parking and often got a refusal. Then you have the others that give you a road that isn't their road, you park up and then get told it is a different road. My first ever punt was like that, it was half a mile further on and nowhere to park, then I got berated for being late, having been early at the first address given to me!

I can understand this, but unfortunately some when given the street name, or nearby address will go in person to scope it out. Even had a couple of previously seen either outcall or previous address clients do this, some inadvertently actually did end up outside the front door (those are the ones I know about because they either told me, or I saw them). Or arrive 25 minutes early phoning from outside 'I'm outside number XX, I'm 25 minutes early just letting you know I'm here.

It's really difficult, requires careful thought & attention from both sides.

Offline Massage Bloke

Worth pointing out, that in some countries, the ground floor is the first floor!


Online therichardrichard

Worth pointing out, that in some countries, the ground floor is the first floor!

But the first floor (up one flight of stairs) is never referred to as the ground floor  :)

I think what had happened my particular instance was that she was using the same C&P directions from an earlier apartment she had used (which I had previouisly met her in) which was on the actual ground floor.

Offline MissWolf

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To avoid this as much as possible is why i like the full address before i leave so i can check it out on google street view.I then check my route and parking. Parking a lot SPs will say lots of parking but when you look it up its all residence permits only .

Ps if they are not happy to give a house no i just ask for a number near to them and hotel room no is ok when i am on site.

My routine is simple, (I can only speak for me) I send a postcode on enquiry so they can check if that area is ok for them, check travel time and decide the time they can arrive and that I'm available.
If its a same day booking then the address is sent once the booking is agreed and confirmed via text or WhatsApp,  if the booking is made over the phone then I send the address and ask for a confirmation message in return so I know it has been received.
If its an advance booking then they are asked to message by 9am to confirm they still want the booking and the address is sent then

I then also ask them to call or message once parked for the house number if im at home or apartment/room number when on tour.

Its the way that seems to work best for me and most of the time there is very little confusion,  apart from instances mentioned in my earlier post.

Offline hairdownthere

My worst was years ago when I went to see a girl advertised in Paisley, confirmed the address as High Street

Got there and called her for the flat number, couldn't find it.  Turned out she was in High Street, Glasgow.  Just a short 12 mile distance.  Got an earful of abuse from her because, obviously, it was my fault she got her own address wrong.

Funny one was an outcall many years back.  There were 2 streets side by side, xxxx West and xxxx East.  The girl turned up late very apologetic - she'd went to the wrong street, knocked on the door and realised she was in the wrong street because a young kid told her his mummy was at the shops!

Offline Steely Dan

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I had a meet in London near Maida Vale.  Might have been Elgin Ave.  Told to go to something like 25 Elgin Ave.  Turned out it was ACTUALLY flat 25 in Elgin Court, a building behind number 235 Elgin Ave.  A mile's walk from where I was standing puzzled by the houses and businesses and so on, that looked nothing like a place to meet. (roads and numbers are guesses - just made up to explain).

She was not from the UK and did not know that Elgin Ct, Elgin Ave, and Elgin Place were not the same and they reused numbers.  Was not apologetic - she thought I was an idiot when I arrived huffing and puffing in the heat 15 minutes late. Still, her flat mate took a shine to me in my misery, and the surprise three-some we had after we all forgave each other made up for the trouble.

Offline Pscz

Made a booking with a Brazilian lady once, and she sent me a postcode, set up on maps and made my way over with instruction to park at the end of the street.  When I got to said postcode, I messaged to say I'd arrived, she replied and said I can't see you, which car was I in etc.  She'd have needed superman vision, because I was in a completely different place.

She saw her arse about it, calling me for time wasting, even though she had messaged me the wrong details, it was somehow my fault!?!  I sent her a screenshot and she still refused to accept that it was her error. 

Offline maybe

Some places are simply not built for punting. There was this block of flats, nice looking with 3 main entrances with the same name, the only difference was some smaller text that i didn't see at the time. The flat caller wasn't working and that was because i was using the ones on the right was broke and I should have been using the one on the left ... I had arrived early 15mins early thinking i scouted the right entrance but eventually got in 5mins late.

I also got confused leaving as well, i swear i left the way i came in, but ended up in some garden with a one way door where all the smokers were, I couldn't get back in without a pass and was on of the other sides of the building. Added another 10 mins walk to get back to where i was.

Offline Arripotter1971

Happened to me in Poland, sent me a photo of the apartment block, I eventually got someone to let me in. Could not find the actual apartment number as it was in a completely different zone !!! Eventually made it there 25mins later.....