Arrival Day
I lucked out with a direct flight from London—no cancelled flights to worry about. Sitting on the plane, I felt like I was in an airlock: out of the real world, but not quite in holiday mode. The guy next to me asked where I was going, and I gave him my cover story. Too soon for the truth. Immigration only took 35 minutes, and Mike’s taxi was waiting. Three hours after landing, I finally walked into Sandy Spring Hotel. I felt a bit rubbish after the trip, my grumpy game face firmly in place—the kind you wear when you complain about traffic rather than enjoy being back in LoS. I dragged myself around the corner to Tahitian Queen. A GoGo with girls in bikinis should cheer me up. Had a drink with a girl called Bo. Then Ammy from my last trip found me. She was all over me, and going against my plan, I decided to barfine her immediately. She was hungry, so off we went to Sportsman for food.
During dinner, I realized she’d been drinking all day—sleepy drunk rather than horny drunk. We still had sex in hotel, but it wasn’t her usual spark, so I sent her away. I thought about crashing, but pushed myself to walk to Heaven Above. Naked girls dancing is even cheerier than bikinis, n’est pas?
My second wind kicked in. I went to Lips Lounge on Soi Honey, where the guy next to me was having a double BJ right at the bar. B500 later, I bought that too. Who needs a room or a curtain? Next, I checked out Wassy Bar—live music, a bit of dancing, and a chill vibe. I was well and truly through the airlock now. Despite hitting my wall, I made the silly decision to stop at Angels LK. Some okay-looking girls, fully naked, and I barfined Miw. She wanted food, I wanted music, so we stopped at Heartbeat outside Soi LK for both. Then back to Sandy Spring for weak evening session but a really fun morning. I was a little surprised to wake up next to a 45+ lady—but hey, in my defense, it’s not the face that you fuck, it’s the fuck that you face.
Day 2
Late start. Water, lots of water, to battle hangover and jetlag fatigue. Eventually, I joined the Maggie May GC crawl. Arrived at Buzzin fifteen minutes early. Good group: Aussies, Brits, and an American or two, including a guy with his hot Thai wife. Even though I’d done this tour before, it didn’t feel repetitive. Catflaps is still great, (the new) Maggie May Jomtien was bigger and better, and Camel Toe and Free Willy delivered the usual raunch. I only had a beer at each bar but spread lady drinks and shots around to get the clothes off. Free Willy lived up to its name—B500 later, BJ with no curtain. A jolly, expensive, free afternoon. Back to Club Fate around 8 PM.
One of the tour guys encouraged me to try Walking Street again. After a pit stop at the hotel, I set off. Walked past all the GoGo’s until I finally went into Eden. Nice vibe, but “same same.” I drank with the hottest tattooed barbie, but she left to dance after her second lady drink. Annoying. I got another girl to keep me company while I waited, but ten minutes later I paid and left. Backtracked to Windmill, but broke tradition and tried WM2 upstairs. Better show than Eden, but same girl-leaving-to-dance thing. This time, I followed her, ‘Tip,’ and sat opposite so it felt like company. On a whim, I barfined her.
‘Tip’ wanted food first (of course), so Lobster Pot it was. After dinner, we went to Stone Roses for a live show. Three singers, all fun, especially the rock chick. Much less drunk than the night before, so both evening and morning sex were fantastic. At least no regrets waking up next to this hot babe.
Day 3 – Friday
Pretty chill day. Went across the road for Pinot Grigio and some basic 7-11 and Watsons supplies. B399 for shaving gel? Yikes.
Stopped by 'Post Office' GC for a quick beer that turned into a pleasant couple of hours. The girl was a firecracker. While behind the curtain (getting BJ), some guy was making sex noises at the pool table, and she went from sweet girl to bitch-from-hell, giving him a telling off. Brilliant. Note to self: don’t piss off a Thai girl.
Food at the Avenue food court, much better than fast food, and chill in the hotel before meeting my UKP friend at Fire Bar for the Friday night party. Arrived early, so a latte at Queen Vic was wiser than a random beer. Rolled up to Fire Bar around 7:15. Owner Greg helped me pick Milo—a jackpot: high energy, great English, and as hot as hot gets. The party was a lock-in with fifteen guys and girls. Games, dancing, lots of clothes coming off—more tame than Lips or Hunny, but the vibe was unbeatable. Pizza too. I went overboard on vodka/orange for Milo, but it was worth it. After, she joined me on a barfine and then a Baht bus to Walking Street, hitting Stones House. The band was great, & Milo was life of the party. Two girls danced on stage during the DJ break, and Milo joined them—brilliant. Shake your booty, baby! Back at the hotel, she brought the same energy to the bedroom. Morning sex was just as good. A long time with a girl like Milo is always a good time and great value.
Saturday
Late start. Chill morning in the room. Holiday is holiday—I can do whatever I want.
Had a couple of pints with my UKP friend from the Fire lock-in. We hadn’t really talked the night before, so we set the world to rights. A girl from Electric Blue I met last year agreed (via Line) to meet on her day off. It turned out, she’d left the bar and was working with her sister in a food business. Stable and friendly—same as last year. No English, so smiles and Google translate kept things going. We wandered to Soi Buakhao, then Wussy for live music, and on to Paradise Bar. The band there was great, though a pool table next to the stage was a bit…odd. We checked out Maggie May beer bar complex—it looked okay but felt like 100 bars in other parts of town. Still, it was time for play, not just drinking. Lew, the girl, had no tits, looked about 18 but the hotel confirmed she was older. Fun and everything worked, nipples sensitive. A good close to Saturday.
Sunday & Monday
Met my street-walker friend from last trip (via Line). She normally works WS in front of Burger King. Doesn’t like GoGo bars, thinks TF is for “cheap Charlie,” and Beach Road isn’t her scene. Met for a rare afternoon (she normally sleeps all day = possible vampire) and we did ST for B3000. Hung out afterward along Beach Road and at Central Mall. Tried to get me to buy her perfume…uh, no. Snacks and beer in the food court out front made for a pleasant afternoon. I call her Fawn (she says Fon).
Later, met a new UKP friend, first timer. Took him to Heaven Above, Kink, and Angels LK. Got drunk, dumped my new friend, and took an Angels girl LT. Her mother got sick that night, so she left at stupid o’clock. Thai girls and their sick mothers…
No morning boom-boom Monday, so, gasping, I tried somewhere new: Kinbi Nuru massage on 2nd Road, just past Ripley’s. Exactly what I needed. B3400 all in—body-to-body massage, BJ, FS in Cowgirl, no RO or kissing. Just me-focused. Two hours later, I barfined Wan from Tahitian Queen (Ammy wasn’t there). A glass of wine and the view from the hotel—living the dream. At least this week.
Tuesday
Went with the UKP boys to Jomtien. Started at Catflaps, bought a few lady drinks, and bought some shots to see tits. One of the boys didn’t get the barcrawl concept and took his hottie upstairs. Next stop: Monkey House. Really nice club—barstools, couches, pool table, and curtains. Flirted and ended up with a lady—older and not my type, but great fun roll-in-the-hay in the back room. Two bars counts as a barcrawl, right?
Later, did a Soi Honey tour: Lips Lounge, Hunny Lounge, and Legs 11 with the three UKP boys. Fun, but hard to match quality girls for four people in these small-ish venues, so probably won’t repeat with a group that size. Hungry, so food at TreeTown with lively outdoor vibes around midnight. Ended the night with Kink on my walk back to the hotel—a sure-fire mood booster. Left with no BF, so picked a Beach Road girl for B2500 LT. Nam was really good company and might have had the best natural tits of the week. (Should have repeated).
Wednesday & Thursday
Wednesday was a total rest day—every part of me needed it (ahem). Later, met the UKP boys for a drink at High Rollers (yes, gold toilets, still more GoGo vibes than GC). Left the boys, checked out Octopussy on Soi Boomerang—a quieter Heaven Above. Barfined two lively girls just to hang out (only B1000 each) and then went to Wassy Bar for a lively party atmosphere. Met a very hot 50+ lady called Wassy. Yes she was also the bar owner. Might have dumped my 2 girls for her if it was on the cards.
Thursday repeated Kinbi Nuru. Chose the oldest available, Ella, 34. Good call: she was more up for it, so the session was adventurous: two-way action, RO, 69—everything. Later, a chill solo cocktail at Avenue food court from Reggae Bar. Then joined part of a Soi 6 pub crawl (thanks George). Ended up wandering into Fire looking for Milo—no luck. Taxi to BK8 for last beer with UKP boys at Sin Club. 5 UKP’ers in one place …mad, eh? Later tried to find Tip at WM2—no joy. Getting crazy late, so sent a text to Fon and soon met with her at the hotel. Result! Excellent company, both middle of the night and morning.
Friday (last day)
Fon left, so back to sleep. Lunch at Sportsman, then back to Tahitian Queen to look for Ammy. She was sober, fine, and ready for an afternoon hangout, food, and play. Very GND looks and personality—afternoon sex might even top morning sex at times like this.
It turns out, the second half of the trip that I was almost on autopilot. I naturally gravitated to bars and searched for girls I knew—hence repeating Ammy on the last afternoon. What am I like?
Last evening, Red Hot and Blue. I was first or second customer. Three nice girls dancing; pulled the horn to start the party. Two stayed for lady drinks, but the crazy skinny girl (CSG), Yom, was a laugh riot and full of energy—barfine upstairs. There is a CSG in every bar – good choice!
Wrapped up the night with a repeat visit to Heaven Above. Random, but enjoyable. Drunk, spent too much on lady drinks, but managed to leave by midnight and catch my taxi for a smooth trip home early the next morning. EVA Airlines: full marks. England’s cold? Not so much. Thanks, Pattaya—until next time.
