punting out of spite

[Jvosta]

I think this topic has been done already maybe? and actually probably should be moved to punting section, sorry NIK

Anyway,
Do any of you punt out of spite? I know we punt for variety, convenience, sexless marriages, but what about spite? and does it solve the problems? (I am pessimistic)

For example, do any of you punt a WG because things are not working out with your relationship with a civie (and if so, it can't be healthy right? I mean if i were to punt a WG because of relationship problems, I would be thinking about the civie, and probably wouldn't be happy even if the punt with the WG was physically amazing, because at the end of the day, i wish it was the civie (but its not the civie because of the dating bullshit , and the making you wait, and the fucking games).........(you can probably suss out im not getting pussy with this civie, and my underlying intention of this thread is wondering will punting a WG help) ....well done sherlock...

same with a married couple, if the husband punts out of spite, wouldn't he, in the back of his mind, still be wishing it was his wife (who no longer wants sex), where is the happiness in that? (I assume its not always a happy ending due to many existing threads about 'guilt'.)

Not all of us are cold hearted guys, but I am thinking I want to be one. is falling in love worth the pain? and any tips on being a cold hearted person or losing attachments?

[vt]

Spite(n) definition: a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone.

Unless you are going to tell your unwilling GF about your punting exploits, I can't see how it would be out of spite, as she can't be hurt or offended by what she doesn't know about.

[nova painted floozie]

Some guys do kind of want to be caught so (maybe subconsciously) they're not as careful about covering thyngs up as they could be. Perhaps because they are trapped in relationships they don't know how to get out of and if their partner found out it would be a way out.
I'm not sure if that's a similar thyng to what the OP describes.

[Jeff_withpetersen]

I use my sexless relationship as 'justification' for punting to avoid guilt, as I'm sure many men do.

[smiths]

I think this topic has been done already maybe? and actually probably should be moved to punting section, sorry NIK

Anyway,
Do any of you punt out of spite? I know we punt for variety, convenience, sexless marriages, but what about spite? and does it solve the problems? (I am pessimistic)

For example, do any of you punt a WG because things are not working out with your relationship with a civie (and if so, it can't be healthy right? I mean if i were to punt a WG because of relationship problems, I would be thinking about the civie, and probably wouldn't be happy even if the punt with the WG was physically amazing, because at the end of the day, i wish it was the civie (but its not the civie because of the dating bullshit , and the making you wait, and the fucking games).........(you can probably suss out im not getting pussy with this civie, and my underlying intention of this thread is wondering will punting a WG help) ....well done sherlock...

same with a married couple, if the husband punts out of spite, wouldn't he, in the back of his mind, still be wishing it was his wife (who no longer wants sex), where is the happiness in that? (I assume its not always a happy ending due to many existing threads about 'guilt'.)

Not all of us are cold hearted guys, but I am thinking I want to be one. is falling in love worth the pain? and any tips on being a cold hearted person or losing attachments?

No i dont punt out of spite and the concept of doing so is alien to me. I punt for fun to shag a variety of WGs i fancy.

[Barry Shipton]

(you can probably suss out im not getting pussy with this civie, and my underlying intention of this thread is wondering will punting a WG help) ....well done sherlock...

I think the short answer to that is no (in my opinion) - the only thing it will help is you to get your rocks off.

If you are having relationship problems - if she knows about the WG it will make things worse and is she doesn't know it will still make things worse.

If she knows then it's probably game over - which sort of resolves the problem. If she doesn't know but you get great sex you will just resent even more that you're not getting it from her.

Really one for relate or some relationship experts rather than a punting forum, but I would say punting is for fun but if you seriously want a relationship then work on it or finish it and find someone else.

[Barry Shipton]

I use my sexless relationship as 'justification' for punting to avoid guilt, as I'm sure many men do.

Now that I have to agree with!

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

I do it because I'm in a sexless marriage, not out of "spite".  But I can honestly say that I've never wished that any of the girls I've shagged was actually my wife (their average age is about half of hers, for starters).  If you're paying for sex, then unless your wife/GF is a twentysomething supermodel, you might as well go for a better one than her.  Or one that is just different in some way (blonde/brunette, caucasian/asian/black, tall/petite... whatever).

If you're looking for a near-twin of the woman who isn't giving you any... well, that's OK for a one-off, but probably not very healthy in the long term.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I have never punted for spite reasons, and if it was that  and i was seeing a WG in that sort of mood then it would not be a good punt!.

OK some ladies may well, if they know that, try perhaps to compensate  for the shorcomings of the sisterhood .ie. not all women are bitches etc, but its prolly only the more experenced ones who can do that, thats even if we shoudd tell them etc, there're not agony aunts;!.

[Gav Lee]

I remember an episode of Drop the Dead Donkey when one guy's ex is remarrying so he pays for a gorgeous escort to come to the reception with him and afterwards he says "the best thousand pounds I ever spent" or something like that.

But except for that I also can't see how it would work to punt out of spite.

[Matium]

Married punters, and I would guess that the vast majority of UKP's members are married men, are anxoius, above all, not to hurt their wives. That's why they are very discreet about what they do.

Just because you have sex with prostitutes doesn't mean you stop loving your wife.

[jcdmj12]

Sort of - we went through very turbulent phase in our marriage a few years back where there was a lot of anger flying around, with one or other of us escalting things until it would end in an apolcalyptic bust up.   That was part of the reason I started punting, because it made me feel better, and whenever my wife really had a go at me, I'd got for a punt.  It made me feel a lot better, actually.  Luckily, we don't do that any more, but if the situation cropped up again, I'd choose punting over getting into a fight with my other half.   

Punting was really helpful at that stage, because having it as a release valve gave me the emotional strength to battle on until things improved.

[CBPaul]

Married punters, and I would guess that the vast majority of UKP's members are married men, are anxoius, above all, not to hurt their wives. That's why they are very discreet about what they do.

Just because you have sex with prostitutes doesn't mean you stop loving your wife.

Totally agree 

I've never punted out of spite and can't imagine doing so. Unless you are going to tell all in glorious Technicolor there is no point other than some sort of smug self satisfaction.

I usually punt for the fun of it and occasionally due to an immense build up of horn.

[LL]

I use my sexless relationship as 'justification' for punting to avoid guilt, as I'm sure many men do.

Yes but how many could still get sex in their marriage if they put the effort in. I think for many, this excuse is a smokescreen. One designed to help relieve their own guilt.

[Sienna_Bronze]

I totally get what you're saying. I suppose it's like 'revenge sex' which a lot of people do, myself included when i was in a relationship. It usually means that deep down you want to get caught though.

[Frenchie]

I use my sexless relationship as 'justification' for punting to avoid guilt, as I'm sure many men do.

+1........Absolutely spot on ..however - I don't feel any guilt whatsoever.

[Frenchie]

Sort of - we went through very turbulent phase in our marriage a few years back where there was a lot of anger flying around, with one or other of us escalting things until it would end in an apolcalyptic bust up.   That was part of the reason I started punting, because it made me feel better, and whenever my wife really had a go at me, I'd got for a punt.  It made me feel a lot better, actually.  Luckily, we don't do that any more, but if the situation cropped up again, I'd choose punting over getting into a fight with my other half.   

Punting was really helpful at that stage, because having it as a release valve gave me the emotional strength to battle on until things improved.

Very well put..it's my release valve - if I didn't have punting I would probably have walked 18 months ago ....besides the complete lack of ANY sex I have a very nice lifestyle .....

[Frenchie]

Yes but how many could still get sex in their marriage if they put the effort in. I think for many, this excuse is a smokescreen. One designed to help relieve their own guilt.

I completely disagree....I've made EVERY effort over the last fifteen years ...holidays, treats , flowers, affection , ignoring the subject , - discussing the subject,kindness, anger .......you name it ,I've tried it !!

And I think a lot of the members on here have done the same.....it was only after years of banging my head against a brick wall that something had to be done ..a friend told me about AW and as they say, - the rest is history........!!

I also think it has to do with age....if you are younger you've always got a little bit of hope that things will improve ...99% of the time they don't . I recently warned a friend who has just turned 40 who was moaning about his sex life that if he thought things would ever get better, he was living in a dream world !

[ArthurDent]

I completely disagree....I've made EVERY effort over the last fifteen years ...holidays, treats , flowers, affection , ignoring the subject , - discussing the subject,kindness, anger .......you name it ,I've tried it !!

And I think a lot of the members on here have done the same.....it was only after years of banging my head against a brick wall that something had to be done ..a friend told me about AW and as they say, - the rest is history........!!

I also think it has to do with age....if you are younger you've always got a little bit of hope that things will improve ...99% of the time they don't . I recently warned a friend who has just turned 40 who was moaning about his sex life that if he thought things would ever get better, he was living in a dream world !

Amen, brother. Punting really is absolutely the last resort for me. And I wouldn't have had sufficient propensity to do it at all before AW and forums like this came along and made it easier and safer.

[LL]

I completely disagree....I've made EVERY effort over the last fifteen years ...holidays, treats , flowers, affection , ignoring the subject , - discussing the subject,kindness, anger .......you name it ,I've tried it !!

And I think a lot of the members on here have done the same.....it was only after years of banging my head against a brick wall that something had to be done ..a friend told me about AW and as they say, - the rest is history........!!

I also think it has to do with age....if you are younger you've always got a little bit of hope that things will improve ...99% of the time they don't . I recently warned a friend who has just turned 40 who was moaning about his sex life that if he thought things would ever get better, he was living in a dream world !

I think you're taking it too personally.  Sounds like you've put the effort in, good for you.  Many have not - and punting is easier.
Personally I do get sex in my marriage but I have a much higher sex drive than my wife.  I don't claim to be better than anyone else here.  Perhaps I'm not putting enough effort into my marriage myself.  Like you I have tried though.  Talking to them about it seems to only make things worse.  Now I punt, my wife doesn't know about it.  I feel a bit guilty but at the same time fulfilled by getting the extra sex that I want elsewhere.

[blackburnian]

Don't know if this is exactly what the op meant but I have In the past punted as a direct result of having a barney with the wife & not speaking for a couple of days , nowadays it's more for pure pleasure.

Bb

[Sparquin]

Married punters, and I would guess that the vast majority of UKP's members are married men, are anxoius, above all, not to hurt their wives. That's why they are very discreet about what they do.

Just because you have sex with prostitutes doesn't mean you stop loving your wife.

This is spot on. Not hurting someone is very high on my priorities.

[akauya]

Married punters, and I would guess that the vast majority of UKP's members are married men, are anxoius, above all, not to hurt their wives. That's why they are very discreet about what they do.

Just because you have sex with prostitutes doesn't mean you stop loving your wife.

Good post   

[blackpunter]

I used to think that I punt because my wife is fat but then after reading this post I started thinking about the prossies I have been with and 90% of them are bbws/fat. So now I've got no clue why I punt 

[JV547845]

Can't comment on the relationship stuff but I do relish the aspect of punting that spites judgemental self elected moralistic arseholes who tell other people what to do with their sex lives, and how two consenting adults are supposed to behave together their whole lives. 

If I was just on a bus or a train in ear shot of someone, and would never see them again, and they were talking about how punting is wrong or some bull shit, these days I would probably start an interesting argument with them, that I'd enjoy a lot more than they would.

[jcdmj12]

Can't comment on the relationship stuff but I do relish the aspect of punting that spites judgemental self elected moralistic arseholes who tell other people what to do with their sex lives, and how two consenting adults are supposed to behave together their whole lives. 

If I was just on a bus or a train in ear shot of someone, and would never see them again, and they were talking about how punting is wrong or some bull shit, these days I would probably start an interesting argument with them, that I'd enjoy a lot more than they would.

Yes, whenever I read some sour-faced feminazi rant in the Guardian, I always smile and recall how nice it to to jizz all over a luscious pair of tits.

[Jvosta]

Just an update. I ended up having sex with the civie girl ....I was just being impatient. and no I didn't see a WG in that time. But i did utilize my skills which I learnt from seeing WGs.

For now, I am no longer punting.

that is all   

[Jvosta]

I used to think that I punt because my wife is fat but then after reading this post I started thinking about the prossies I have been with and 90% of them are bbws/fat. So now I've got no clue why I punt 

 

[Mr Farkyhars]

Spite(n) definition: a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone.

That definition - though doubtless offered in good faith - can't be adequate, can it? Think of all the times you've given your line manager the finger behind his back, or a traffic policeman the finger behind your steering wheel. Or is that just me?