Was I being unreasonable?

[JustaPunter]

Decided to have a punt on the way home yesterday and booked an SP in the usual hotel in Canary Wharf.

All things as you would expect, text when on the way as requested and then a text to confirm I was parked up near the Hotel.

Then silence.

Now normally I would expect a text with a room number or instructions to enter the hotel and go to a specific floor.

Crickets for nearly 20 mins.

Then a text asking if things were ok and were was I

I texted back that I was waiting for a room number as I didn’t want to stand in the lobby at nearly midnight.

Then nothing for another 10 minutes or so, then I was asked where I have parked, then a text another few minutes later with a floor number.

By that point I had bailed, didn’t feel right to me, and I trust my gut.

Blocked her number and then 10 mins or so later got a call from a withheld  number, so switched off the phone and went home.

Was I being a dick?

Never been in a situation like that before, would anybody have sat in the hotel lobby at midnight waiting for an SP to text them?

And why would they want to know where I had parked?

[scutty brown]

she's doing cab rank back-to-back bookings

walk away and forget about her

[GingerNuts]

Better yet post a review so others aware.

[Malvolio]

If you were kept waiting for 30 minutes and she still hasn't confirmed her room number, you're entitled to walk away and I reckon most punters would have left before then.

There's also no reason for her to care about where you parked.

[southcoastpunter]

There's also no reason for her to care about where you parked.

unless she wanted a look at him before giving the final details (room number) - i wouldn't blame her, a single female late at night etc or was trying to judge how long he would be before she had to go let him in etc.

personally i would have just said something like in the car park and waited for a response from her and taken the time to look around and sus out myself if others were around, guys sat in cars etc. But, if any doubts over your own safety, then get out will the going is good.

keeping you waiting that long at that time of night is not on and deserves a neg review! (imo)

[JustaPunter]

unless she wanted a look at him before giving the final details (room number) - i wouldn't blame her, a single female late at night etc or was trying to judge how long he would be before she had to go let him in etc.

personally i would have just said something like in the car park and waited for a response from her and taken the time to look around and sus out myself if others were around, guys sat in cars etc. But, if any doubts over your own safety, then get out will the going is good.

keeping you waiting that long at that time of night is not on and deserves a neg review! (imo)

She was working inside a massive Hotel in Canary Wharf. Not out of a flat in a Council Estate

[petermisc]

Texting to say you are parked near the hotel could mean anything from you being right outside to something like 10 minutes walk away.  Sounds like she was waiting for a message from you that you were at the hotel.  You don't have to wait until you are in the lobby before sending such a message.  So after 20 minutes, she is wondering why you haven't got to the hotel yet, and texts to find out if you are still coming,   You reply with a wierd message effectively demanding her room number, even though you still haven't confirmed that you are at the hotel, so not unreasonably she asks where you have parked in order to get some idea of whereabouts you are.

You then go radio silence on her after confirming that you were actually at the hotel and she has given you floor details.  This will make you look like a timewasting jerk.  She will probably have blacklisted you now, and any other girls she is associated with may do likewise.  Good on you for walking if you didn't feel right, but not good to go radio silence on her. 

So yes, I do think you acted unreasonably.

[Jonestown]

Texting to say you are parked near the hotel could mean anything from you being right outside to something like 10 minutes walk away.  Sounds like she was waiting for a message from you that you were at the hotel.

Then you would think for clarities sake, when she received the parked up text she would reply saying please text me when you are in the lobby, not just leave the OP hanging.

[jsnsummer]

If it's Canary Wharf my guess it that large hotel chain that starts with B. A hotel chain that is regularly voted the worst in the country but is also the cheapest.

If I'm right then I had the same problem. To be honest the staff couldn't give two sh*ts about what you are doing there. I sat for about 20mins-half hour before walking.

No one batted an eyelid.

In general we tend to think that people are talking about us or looking at us, when in reality they are too busy doing their job to even give us a second thought.

[RandomGuy99]

Sounds like a case of the two of you getting your wires crossed and both reacting badly. The end result being that you went home with blue balls.

[JustaPunter]

Texting to say you are parked near the hotel could mean anything from you being right outside to something like 10 minutes walk away.  Sounds like she was waiting for a message from you that you were at the hotel.  You don't have to wait until you are in the lobby before sending such a message.  So after 20 minutes, she is wondering why you haven't got to the hotel yet, and texts to find out if you are still coming,   You reply with a wierd message effectively demanding her room number, even though you still haven't confirmed that you are at the hotel, so not unreasonably she asks where you have parked in order to get some idea of whereabouts you are.

You then go radio silence on her after confirming that you were actually at the hotel and she has given you floor details.  This will make you look like a timewasting jerk.  She will probably have blacklisted you now, and any other girls she is associated with may do likewise.  Good on you for walking if you didn't feel right, but not good to go radio silence on her. 

So yes, I do think you acted unreasonably.

Can you point out where i “demanded” her room number?

If somebody says they have just parked beside the Hotel that would imply they have arrived at the Hotel and they need some more information to continue.

Like instructions to enter the Hotel or go to a specific floor.

I don’t care about being blocked, why should I? I won’t be visiting her again anyway.

If she wanted me to come into the lobby and then message again all she had to do was say so? Sounds reasonable to me.

[oinki]

Dont think you were unreasonable. I would have expected the same although you should have maybe sent a chaser text after waiting 5/10 minutes.

[Anallover6969]

I would have done the same - might even have bailed a bit earlier tbh - yeah - back to back clients - not even time to have a shower - grim

[Surrey1974]

Better yet post a review so others aware.

Agreed please post a review as when I am around the Canary Wharf area I checkout was it about and as we know a lot of girls work from that hotel so will be good to know who this one is

[Steely Dan]

It is really easy to misunderstand texts.  I am not suggesting you were not clear, just that even when you are clear, she can misunderstand.  Particularly if you have one word texts like 'here' or 'parked' or 'ready, and/or English is not her first language.  Also she might be getting other texts at the same time and get you confused with the guy coming at 2AM!

I would not expect radio silence for 20 minutes though, unless she texts that she is running a few minutes behind and she will be just 10 minutes.  Then I probably expect it to be 20.  I do try to switch to voice calls after the scheduled meet time as well.  But it is hard for her to get in touch if she is letting the guy before you run over.  Either way of course it is reasonable to walk.  Your money, your choice.

[JustaPunter]

I would have done the same - might even have bailed a bit earlier tbh - yeah - back to back clients - not even time to have a shower - grim

To be perfectly honest the biggest concern was she asked whereabouts I was parked.

Maybe she used a poor choice of words, but walking into a Hotel to see somebody I have never seen before with my car keys in my pocket, which would be left unattended when I have a shower, and then tell the SP where my car is parked sounds alarm bells

Maybe if I was driving a £2000 shit box I wouldn’t care. It’s not like she could look down from the Hotel to be able to see my car.

[petermisc]

Can you point out where i “demanded” her room number?

Then a text asking if things were ok and were was I
I texted back that I was waiting for a room number as I didn’t want to stand in the lobby at nearly midnight.

So despite her asking where you were, so obviously unaware that you had arrived at the hotel, you texted back effectively demanding to know her room number.

If somebody says they have just parked beside the Hotel that would imply they have arrived at the Hotel and they need some more information to continue.

Except that is NOT what you originally told us:

then a text to confirm I was parked up near the Hotel.

So now you are changing your story in an attempt to make yourself seem less of a jerk.  There is a big difference between "beside the hotel" and "near the hotel".  Different people can have very different interpretations of just how near is near - it could mean that you were still 10 minutes walk away.

Her asking if you are okay (=why haven't I heard from you in 20 minutes?) and asking where you were, show that she was clearly unaware that you had arrived at the hotel.

Regardless of your mis-communication, the big issue from my perspective is you going radio silence on her.  SPs rightly get a bad review when they go radio silence on a punter.  Likewise punters who go radio silence on SPs are a###holes, because they normalise this kind of unacceptable behaviour.

[gman28]

Maybe if I was driving a £2000 shit box I wouldn’t care.

Why not get one to take to future punts like this then?

[wannabe]

I'd have done the same as you.

[Stealthmode]

So despite her asking where you were, so obviously unaware that you had arrived at the hotel, you texted back effectively demanding to know her room number.
Except that is NOT what you originally told us:
So now you are changing your story in an attempt to make yourself seem less of a jerk.  There is a big difference between "beside the hotel" and "near the hotel".  Different people can have very different interpretations of just how near is near - it could mean that you were still 10 minutes walk away.

Her asking if you are okay (=why haven't I heard from you in 20 minutes?) and asking where you were, show that she was clearly unaware that you had arrived at the hotel.

Regardless of your mis-communication, the big issue from my perspective is you going radio silence on her.  SPs rightly get a bad review when they go radio silence on a punter.  Likewise punters who go radio silence on SPs are a###holes, because they normalise this kind of unacceptable behaviour.

The op is visiting her. She needs to be clear with instructions and directions. This isnt the Crystal Maze. When someone informs they have parked up, its only reasonable to assume they are very close by. If I was forced to park well away from the venue, then I would update saying I’ve parked but not close by and to give me 5 mins. Why would he go out of his way to park further away than necessary? The WG has been sat in that room all day, so will know if finding the room has been tricky for others.

The OP was correct in moving on.

[JustaPunter]

So despite her asking where you were, so obviously unaware that you had arrived at the hotel, you texted back effectively demanding to know her room number.
Except that is NOT what you originally told us:
So now you are changing your story in an attempt to make yourself seem less of a jerk.  There is a big difference between "beside the hotel" and "near the hotel".  Different people can have very different interpretations of just how near is near - it could mean that you were still 10 minutes walk away.

Her asking if you are okay (=why haven't I heard from you in 20 minutes?) and asking where you were, show that she was clearly unaware that you had arrived at the hotel.

Regardless of your mis-communication, the big issue from my perspective is you going radio silence on her.  SPs rightly get a bad review when they go radio silence on a punter.  Likewise punters who go radio silence on SPs are a###holes, because they normalise this kind of unacceptable behaviour.

A bit of a white knight response!

Would you like me to screen shot the texts Mr Pedant?
Since when is parking beside a Hotel not also near the Hotel.

It seems you just want to argue.

[JustaPunter]

Why not get one to take to future punts like this then?

Why would I do that?

When I can simply assess the situation?

Somebody I have never met before asks where I have parked my car?

But hasn't told me what she wants me to do?

Would you stand like a lemon in a Hotel Lobby at midnight?

I wouldn't.

I advise the SP I have parked up and wait for them to say what thwy want me to do next.

If that is come into the lobby and meet them than thats fine I will do that.

If they want me to enter the Hotel and go to a specific floor I will do that

If they tell me to go to a specific postcode and then text them I will do that

But to be told nothing?

I can't read minds

[petermisc]

The OP was correct in moving on.

I have no issue with the OP moving on if he felt uncomfortable.  My issue is with him going radio silence on her.  Punters who do that only make it more likely that WGs will do it too.

He moaned about hearing nothing from her for 20 minutes.  Equally, she had heard nothing from him for 20 minutes.  And it was her that eventually broke the silence, not him.

[petermisc]

I advise the SP I have parked up and wait for them to say what thwy want me to do next......
I can't read minds

But apparently you expect WGs to be able to divine where you are.

[southcoastpunter]

the Op asked the question "was i being unreasonable" but doesn't seem to like some of the answers.

Op why post a question then question (or at least come back on) replies that say "yes maybe you were". If you think you were being reasonable and don't want to hear others viewpoint, then don't start a new thread asking the question about your actions!

[JustaPunter]

the Op asked the question "was i being unreasonable" but doesn't seem to like some of the answers.

Op why post a question then question (or at least come back on) replies that say "yes maybe you were". If you think you were being reasonable and don't want to hear others viewpoint, then don't start a new thread asking the question about your actions!

The only person being antagonistic is petermisc

[petermisc]

the Op asked the question "was i being unreasonable" but doesn't seem to like some of the answers.

Op why post a question then question (or at least come back on) replies that say "yes maybe you were". If you think you were being reasonable and don't want to hear others viewpoint, then don't start a new thread asking the question about your actions!

Exactly.  The fact that he felt the need to ask the question in the first place speaks volumes.

He has now given us three significantly different versions of what he told the girl, so as far as I am concerned he has lost all credibility.

And note that he has still not attempted to justify why he considers it reasonable, after he has messed the girl around for over half an hour and he has been given the floor number of her hotel, for him to then go radio silence on her.  With punters treating them like that, it is no wonder girls might think it reasonable to treat punters in the same way.

[Handel2020]

I could understand a WG wanting to see you from a window or some part of the hotel before giving the room number. I would have considered it reasonable to make myself visible and tell her where I was. I'm not saying I like when WGs do this, but I can understand why they do it.

[JustaPunter]

I could understand a WG wanting to see you from a window or some part of the hotel before giving the room number. I would have considered it reasonable to make myself visible and tell her where I was. I'm not saying I like when WGs do this, but I can understand why they do it.

No way you could see anybody in the street from this Hotel.

It’s massive.

[salazar]

Are we saying now that we have to audition to punt? Man, what is the world coming to?

[Stealthmode]

Are we saying now that we have to audition to punt? Man, what is the world coming to?

Seem so. next you’ll need to send your live location and fitbit step numbers.