Numerous similar posts in the past.
Many punters have OHs and value their relationship, even though for a variety of reasons one of the partners has lost interest in sex (or cannot partake.)
If someone comes on here saying they've tried talking etc to no avail, but still value their relationship and everything that entails, why do some others obviously not in relationships decide to pile on with such judgemental posts.
My guess is a high proportion of punters have OHs and value their relationship, but are reluctant to post because of these reactions which are not helpful whatsoever.
If you're not in a relationship because of choice, too fat or ugly, divorce or bad experiences etc, maybe it would be better to leave those constructive suggestions from those facing similar dilemmas, and not be so judgemental of a situation you may no little about.
......lights the touchpaper and retreats to a safe distance!
I normally universally respect your opinion but I think you've misread here.
I've punted in marriages, engagements and relationships. I've been faithful in all those situations too. And I've had civvy affairs in every circumstance too.
I've never been caught, touch wood, but if I had been then it would be no one's fault than my own. And I don't think that there would have been a single situation where my infidelity would not have led to an acrimonious parting of the ways. And that would be even if it weren't
a situation where the sex was paid for or passed on an STI. Now in most of those cases I wouldn't have cared, or not cared that much.
But if I had fucked up the relationship with the genuine love of my life because I couldn't say no then I'd be gutted.
If I consistently strayed even when I knew the risks- and I deemed that risk to be the riskiest risk in my life and nowhere near worth the risk - but I still did it...? Well that to me suggests that I have some kind of personality disorder.
I've got every sympathy for the situation that the OP finds himself in. I can appreciate that he can't be totally honest with his wife. But I think he needs to be honest with himself.
As for other posters and their own stories, well if you don't like the potential answer don't ask the question. I don't think anyone has been especially unkind.