Wenlan - China Clinic Longsight Manchester

[spiralnotebook]

Wenlan - China Clinic Massage -  Longsight, Manchester.


Terms of Reference  -  Have wanted to try Wenlans massage for a while but thanks to the viral interruption put on hold. Reading reports of BJ`s got me wanting to spunk in her mouth to!  Contacted Wenlan and told now working here rather than the Hyde and Audenshaw places previously used.


Contact  -   Shop advertises   :-
External Link/Members Only
Wenlan  :-
External Link/Members Only


Comms  -     Afternoon appointment made via Wenlan, reasonably clear arrangements.


Location  -  Area like being in Beirut in the 70`s. Parking free in residential side streets, however word of caution.
 

Premesis  -  Situated upstairs in a building that has seen better days. Door with a sheet of A4 stuck on with the shop name in biro. Door seen better days, shop seen better days bog inside shop seen better days. At least warm so warm it was reminicent of a 1920`s Shanghai back street knocking shop from an India Jones film. Lots of glass bottles full of bird seed and other shit in an attempt to ad a veneer of respectability, was expecting Yoda to walk out. Desk/counter manned by articulate classy Chinese receptionist in 50`s and a skanky looking bird hovering around looking flustered. Also Achmed the Hoodie wandering around, quite busy for a 15 x 12 room.


The Girl(s)  -  Receptionist as above, Other flustered rough looking bird small seen better days and wearing old dress looking like it had been used to wash a car and left in the kerb for a couple of days. Jeez I thought hope I don`t get stuck with her.


The Service  -
The respectable receptionist Lan? came in to do the massage and I thought lets see what she looks like when she gets her kit off as her figure looked ok. The massage went on and her clothes stayed on. No naked massage? `Ok other girl finish off massage now` and off she fucked. In came the ray of blissfully enlightened sunshine looking like she had just done the Royal Marine assault course been mugged then passed a exam with a distinction in miserable. Agreed B2B/BJ paid £50 on top of the massage (£35) and off came her clothes with all the enthusiasm of a marathon runner after completing the London marathon - twice. Admittedly a nice, body tits ok, smile? Aha aha ha ha . . .Not included.  B2B non-existent event consisting of a pair if nipples basically shoved into my gob - refuse and you DIE! Then down for a very ordinary BJ which she pretty much got as disinterested with as I did,  after 5 minutes of contemplating weather to get a Maccys or KFC on the way home the warm moistness disappeared to be replaced by frantic wanking. Hang on what about CIM or at least up to the point of spunk Ecstasy as per other field reports. More chance of the local newsagent handing you the contents of their cash register and wishing you a nice day, thank you sir - fuck off.  Very average HJ in which spunk wanted not to come out to play but eventually did.


Comments and Thoughts  -   Thought I was getting a massage with a BJ and B2B from Wenlan. It was going into Harrods and finding a B&M through the doors. BJ was forgettable at best B2B laughable. The girl was in my opinion overworked, tired , stressed and was well past her sell by date on that date. At least the receptionists massage bit was good, I wouldn`t mind trying her extras. When I left and walked up the side street (it had gone dark while I had tits forced into my gob) there were a pair of crack head/hoodies trying parked car door handles, well dodgy.


Marks out of 10

Comms - 1 dishonesty does not always pay

Area - 3

Premesis - 3

Massage - 8

B2B /Wank - 2

Overall Experience  - 3 - very disappointing

Would I Return - would YOU return? Strictly for those of masochistic tendencies based on that particular visit.

[Hugger-Mugger]

Shouldn't the title be "NOT Wenlan..."

I wonder if 'Lan the receptionist' was Wenlan?

[Thephoenix]

I assume that wasn't the legendary small slim Wenlan then.
Does she just work certain days?

[Vicroyal]

Sounds grim as fuck, who was the hooded achmed in reception? Customer or security ?

[Jomoore]

Shouldn't the title be "NOT Wenlan..."

I wonder if 'Lan the receptionist' was Wenlan?

I must say that's what I was thinking too, the skanky girl certainly didn't fit my experience of WenLan.
So has she packed in altogether from the decent house in Hyde or was this just temporary?

[spiralnotebook]

 

From previous reports of her it surprised me to. I presume their English is shit as I asked both if they were Wenlan and both said yes. Figure that out. Hoody bloke didn’t come over as a punter by the way, maybe he was buying some bird seed.

[scouting]

I doubt that either of these ladies was Lan. The description of the receptionist might fit, when I saw her I thought she had a librarian look about her, except I wouldn't describe Lan as being articulate, in fact she is a little bit abrupt and shouty. She is also not shy about taking her kit off and her technique goes overboard with cleanliness, which you don't mention. Finally you give good marks for the massage itself, which isn't Lan's strong point, she does a lot of unusual poking and prodding.

I think she has fielded the booking and you are the unfortunate victim of a B&S of the worst kind. Sounds like a complete shit show.

[Itzmurph]

Crap experience but eff me…. that is a hilarious review. Nice one sir 

Been a long time since I went there but (and others have confirmed) it can be EXTREMELY hit and miss. Had one of my best visits the first time (before I joined here actually) and a very mediocre couple. It’s like any place with revolving door staff.

As for if that was Wenlan… well the litmus test is… the massage, was it good or did it feel like she was pulling and prodding you around, followed by rubbing you as if you had been pulled off a mountain with hypothermia, plus did she have a wet wipe fetish? If the answer is no, especially to the massage which is definitely the weirdest sort then it wasnt Wenlan.

Surprised she’d work there. If she’s lost her “friend” who was loaning his house to work in apparently then I’d have thought she’d just go back to using her own house again. Unless the neighbours had unbeknown to us kicked off which really wouldn’t surprise me

[Thewanderer1]

Fabulous review.. thanks for the great entertainment...  Pity about the shit punt.. 

[spiralnotebook]

The receptionist gave a good massage no prods or rabbit punches and structured. I`ve had a couple off Lan`s mate Julie in Congleton and comparing FR`s they were like two peas in a pod. Definitely no similarity there. The smaller one just came in for the extras.
The plot thickens . .





Hidden Image/Members Only

[Thephoenix]

She's still advertising with her 'friend' in H&E Naturist.

[fleetwoodsimon]

She's still advertising with her 'friend' in H&E Naturist.

TBH H&E is getting just as bad as the likes of Gumtree, Vivastreet etc etc for poor SP's  -  I'm sure once they have you number they swap details of who's good who's fake etc etc. 

[Thephoenix]

TBH H&E is getting just as bad as the likes of Gumtree, Vivastreet etc etc for poor SP's  -  I'm sure once they have you number they swap details of who's good who's fake etc etc.

I'm just wondering why you say that.
What's your experiences?

I've responded to  three adverts and had very good experiences.

[RogerHealey]

From previous reports of her it surprised me to. I presume their English is shit as I asked both if they were Wenlan and both said yes. Figure that out. Hoody bloke didn’t come over as a punter by the way, maybe he was buying some bird seed.

Hilarious review, I think WE got more out of your visit than you did. Sorry about that but thanks anyway.

On a more serious note I visited Wenlan for the first time recently and this was at the same premises. Whoever you saw though wasn't Wenlan. The 2 biggest clues are, as someone's already said, the wet wipe fetish plus her weird jerky massage style. Mine was a neutral - some good, some disappointing. I'll review soon when I've got some time.

[Bikerman]

I'm just wondering why you say that.
What's your experiences?

I've responded to  three adverts and had very good experiences.

I have had 2 naturist masssge ftom H&E.. 1 male and 1 female..both very good

[fleetwoodsimon]

I'm just wondering why you say that.
What's your experiences?

I've responded to  three adverts and had very good experiences.

This one for starters   External Link/Members Only

Then there's this one :-  SENSUAL STRESS BREAKER
Naturist massage, counselling, with blonde experienced confidante. Tel: 07778 122484

And then there's the one in Preston who never returns your calls or when she does it's always inconvenient. 

[Thecunninglinguist]

This one for starters   External Link/Members Only

Then there's this one :-  SENSUAL STRESS BREAKER
Naturist massage, counselling, with blonde experienced confidante. Tel: 07778 122484

And then there's the one in Preston who never returns your calls or when she does it's always inconvenient.

The Sensual Stress Breaker has been discussed or reviewed here several times.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=273776.msg2800586#msg2800586
To help you on your way.

[Thephoenix]

This one for starters   External Link/Members Only

Then there's this one :-  SENSUAL STRESS BREAKER
Naturist massage, counselling, with blonde experienced confidante. Tel: 07778 122484

And then there's the one in Preston who never returns your calls or when she does it's always inconvenient.

I agree about massageinmanchester....over rated and poor vfm.
I thankfully avoided the stress breaker after reading reviews and comments on here.
I've been more fortunate with my choices.

[Springoid]

Grim but bloody funny!