You are probably all thinking "Just don't go on adultwork and text them anymore dickhead" , but I always end up going back, browsing the whole southeast and London for a quickie, sending out texts to multiple wgs to try and arrange something, then I end up having a lacklustre time feeling very empty inside, maybe I am expecting too much from seeing strangers for sex. I saw a wg that I had visited quite a few times over the past few years and even that didn't satisfy me. I need to stop this now.
Is there anyone else that has felt similar? Is there any software I could use to block sites like adultwork so I can never go back or is it all just down to your own willpower?
It turned into a compulsion for me when i was doing a lot of cocaine and boozing, as in wired and spending £1000 + cabs on whoring sesssions with drugs well into the mornings
Since giving up drinking, smoking and drugs its easy to say no.
I dont have the compulsion to do it, i find exercise and doing better at work and getting promotions and engaging work stops me needing a "release".
Shit gets boring after a while when youve done it all - you arent going to get the same rush of excitement.
I saw a guy pick up a can of beer in the newsagent and he was 10p short so had to put it back, i bought it for him - everyone looked at me as if i was "odd" but i was thinking - ive been there and that beer is going to be amazing.
Part of me was jealous as the euphoria of a "fix" whatever the addiction is something i dont think i can feel again
This is coming from someone whose done an all nighter with a duo and coke, rolled into work after a shower and then in the pub at 12pm smoking and drinking to take the edge off.
My life was careering out of control and i wasted £10'000s so had to slow down.
Maybe you need to hit rock bottom and scare yourself onto the straight and narrow?
I will pick the odd punt with girls i particularly like but its never like how it used to be when i started or some of the drug and drink sessions i havbe had.
Simikarly im not going to kid myself a meaningful rlationship is going to be great sex, witty banter and non stop fun....i am not a teenager