Punting stories....

[I-fet]

Gents,

During this time of lockdown, it’s good to have some reading material. This will have been done before, but let’s get a punting story thread going. A couple of ideas, but not limited to:

- Something funny/weird/scary that happened during/after a punt
- Description of your favourite punt (even attach link to the review)
- ever been caught....

I can start us of with a bit of a cringey one, that I now laugh about....:

So a number of years back, my amateur/wreckless approach to punting led to my ex wife managing to see the contact I was having with an Escort, this included exactly what I wanted to get up to in the time we had arranged....including fetishes such as Watersports etc.

A scalded wife has no boundaries. Rather than playing the understanding wife and accommodating the fetishes she now knew I had, she opted to happily tell all friends and family exactly what I was into!! As you can imagine it took a while of seeing these people afterwards for all to be forgotten and the embarrassment to subside!!

Needless to say, you will have noted the ‘ex’ part.....that was the end of that lol 

[Name Not Found]

- Description of your favourite punt (even attach link to the review)

Isn't that the definition of a 'review' 

[Pillcum]

This is what the review section is for 

[1980Tam]

Selfish bitch , she could have been more supportive with your hobby , Just the same with golf , they dont like it when you sneak in a quick nine holes before going home .

[Rossco100]

I wont mention her name but i had a johnny come off while having sex and i had to fish it out of her fanny,it took ages but i eventually found it

Got tested a few days later and it was all clear

[I-fet]

I wont mention her name but i had a johnny come off while having sex and i had to fish it out of her fanny,it took ages but i eventually found it

Got tested a few days later and it was all clear

FFS Rossco.....at least you were all clear!! Wouldn’t complain at helping her fish it out though 

[daviebond]

Did you get in there with both hands ? 

[The Man With No Name]

Did you get in there with both hands ? 

Nah, like he said, he got a fly line in there with some top quality tackle on the end of it -

i had to fish it out of her fanny,it took ages but i eventually found it

[BuzzFuckYear]

This one doesn’t make me look good but, but before I heard of UKP, I met a AW member called Lucy Santagelo, I thought she was hot, great body and pretty face. However, what torn faced cunt that scowled constantly. A 30 min booking went like this, 15 mins at least of being left on her bed while she did fuck knows what. When she did start, a covered Bj, then the option of Doggy or reverse cowgirl, no other position were available and I could only chose ONE of them. To be fair she rode me well enough however I decide to leave a leave a shite in her bath tub. The abusive texts I received after were a joy after being left lying on a bed for half the booking time. I actually put me off punting for a while.

[HumphryB]

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Was it this SP. The Santagelo moniker rings a bell. Also a punter on here done a review where he said he could here her doing the dishes while he was getting his kit off

[Massagetugga]

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Also a punter on here done a review where he said he could here her doing the dishes while he was getting his kit off

If it was an outcall then minted

[BuzzFuckYear]

External Link/Members Only

Was it this SP. The Santagelo moniker rings a bell. Also a punter on here done a review where he said he could here her doing the dishes while he was getting his kit off

Aye that’s her. In all the appointments I’ve made, regardless of whether it’s a B&S etc, she is by far the worse experience I’ve had. Shame as she is a decent looking bit a gear.

[Glesgaboy]

This one doesn’t make me look good but, but before I heard of UKP, I met a AW member called Lucy Santagelo, I thought she was hot, great body and pretty face. However, what torn faced cunt that scowled constantly. A 30 min booking went like this, 15 mins at least of being left on her bed while she did fuck knows what. When she did start, a covered Bj, then the option of Doggy or reverse cowgirl, no other position were available and I could only chose ONE of them. To be fair she rode me well enough however I decide to leave a leave a shite in her bath tub. The abusive texts I received after were a joy after being left lying on a bed for half the booking time. I actually put me off punting for a while.

Total class man.
She deserved that delivery in the bath tub.
Cool as a cucumber to produce the package when required and to walk.
Respect. 

[Uncle Buck]

This one doesn’t make me look good
I decide to leave a leave a shite in her bath tub.

You’re correct. It doesn’t make you look good.

This SP has had more bad reviews that I could possibly count yet you book and are surprised that it wasn’t a great experience

Depositing in her bath tub isn’t class at all. In fact.... clatty bastard with zero class comes to mind

[DaVINCI]

You’re correct. It doesn’t make you look good.

This SP has had more bad reviews that I could possibly count yet you book and are surprised that it wasn’t a great experience

Depositing in her bath tub isn’t class at all. In fact.... clatty bastard with zero class comes to mind

TBF BuzzFY did state that he had booked the SP before he had heard of UKP. You would have thought the episode would have encouraged the SP to offer a better service in future 

[Uncle Buck]

TBF BuzzFY did state that he had booked the SP before he had heard of UKP. You would have thought the episode would have encouraged the SP to offer a better service in future 

Good point. I’ll change my response to:

Depositing in her bath tub isn’t class at all. In fact.... clatty bastard with zero class comes to mind

[HumphryB]

If it was an outcall then minted

Aye, but at £110 p/h you'd really want her to be polishing yer bellend and not your fine china

[Name Not Found]

I decide to leave a leave a shite in her bath tub.

At a time that is bringing out the best in so many people, it is good to be reminded that there are still some people in the world who are, quite literally, utter shitebags.

[BuzzFuckYear]

Good point. I’ll change my response to:

Depositing in her bath tub isn’t class at all. In fact.... clatty bastard with zero class comes to mind

Aye not my finest moment, however if you’re offering a service, do it, don’t mess punters about. Like you say, zero class and clatty. I hold no regrets over it though

[Massagetugga]

Aye not my finest moment, however if you’re offering a service, do it, don’t mess punters about. Like you say, zero class and clatty. I hold no regrets over it though

Good on ye mate, sounded like an excellent way to give her the “message”

We all know how well asking for refunds and discounts would go..

It’s not like you smeared your shite all over the place or into a carpet so fuck knows why you’re getting stick here. Good story. Good move.

[Lilywhite]

Got tested a few days later and it was all clear

I hope whoever tested you told you it can take 7 weeks/2 months for everything to show up and that you should get tested then?

[Uncle Buck]

Good on ye mate, sounded like an excellent way to give her the “message”

.........fuck knows why you’re getting stick here. Good story. Good move.

Another classless and manky bastard I see

[audirs4]

I was over in fife seeing a WG, I can’t remember her name she’s not on AW anymore but she was tanned and ‘curvy’ in her pics. I reckon was only my third or fourth ever punt...anyway when I got to her flat she had the huge lips and fillers and big fakers which I hadn’t noticed in my haste to book...she was a total slaver on about all the footy players who came to see her, the gangster ex bf etc etc on and on I fuckin hated her. The sex was miserable. She wanted 150, so at start she took the cash and put it in her bedside table. At the end she said ‘just going for a quick shower babe’ and went into the bathroom. I threw my clothes on and grabbed the paper from the table and just bolted. Felt far better than I would have if had paid for the terrible chat and ‘service’.

[HumphryB]

Good on ye mate, sounded like an excellent way to give her the “message”


We all know how well asking for refunds and discounts would go..

It’s not like you smeared your shite all over the place or into a carpet so fuck knows why you’re getting stick here. Good story. Good move.

What a shower of fuckwits! 
Edit. Apologies for the outburst but man this kinda behaviour is mega shit

[David1970]

I was over in fife seeing a WG, I can’t remember her name she’s not on AW anymore but she was tanned and ‘curvy’ in her pics. I reckon was only my third or fourth ever punt...anyway when I got to her flat she had the huge lips and fillers and big fakers which I hadn’t noticed in my haste to book...she was a total slaver on about all the footy players who came to see her, the gangster ex bf etc etc on and on I fuckin hated her. The sex was miserable. She wanted 150, so at start she took the cash and put it in her bedside table. At the end she said ‘just going for a quick shower babe’ and went into the bathroom. I threw my clothes on and grabbed the paper from the table and just bolted. Felt far better than I would have if had paid for the terrible chat and ‘service’.

You had sex with her then stole the money, is that correct?

[Clattypats]

I can just imagine if every punter that had a crap booking took a shit in a WGs bath tub, there would be a lot of WGs with shitey bath tubs... Fortunately we aren't all boggin cunts!... 

We all have punts every so often that aren't up to scratch and feel like it's money down the drain Come on here and Neg if need be, but there's nothing smart or clever about doing the above...

[Davey Dykes]

I threw my clothes on and grabbed the paper from the table and just bolted.

So you're a thief then?

[Matrix]

So you're a thief then?

He's full of piss.

[BuzzFuckYear]

I was over in fife seeing a WG, I can’t remember her name she’s not on AW anymore but she was tanned and ‘curvy’ in her pics. I reckon was only my third or fourth ever punt...anyway when I got to her flat she had the huge lips and fillers and big fakers which I hadn’t noticed in my haste to book...she was a total slaver on about all the footy players who came to see her, the gangster ex bf etc etc on and on I fuckin hated her. The sex was miserable. She wanted 150, so at start she took the cash and put it in her bedside table. At the end she said ‘just going for a quick shower babe’ and went into the bathroom. I threw my clothes on and grabbed the paper from the table and just bolted. Felt far better than I would have if had paid for the terrible chat and ‘service’.

Naughty boy. 

[Clattypats]

He's full of piss.

Or shite as the case may be https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=198814.msg2056796#msg2056796

[daviemac]

Aye not my finest moment, however if you’re offering a service, do it, don’t mess punters about. Like you say, zero class and clatty. I hold no regrets over it though

That's an understatement, people like you give punters a bad name. Anybody who thinks it's Ok is just as bad.   

[Clattypats]

Naughty boy. 

Yeah, you and him are a couple ae bangers!... 

[David1970]

Naughty boy. 

No he is a thief, and it shows your level if you thinks it’s ok to steal.

[BuzzFuckYear]

Yeah, you and him are a couple ae bangers!... 

Aye, still, mistakes & regrets and all that.

[Clattypats]

Aye, still, mistakes & regrets and all that.

Aye, that much of a regret you thought you'd brag about it on here... Only shows you up for the disgusting piece of shit that you are... 

[BuzzFuckYear]

Aye, that much of a regret you thought you'd brag about it on here... Only shows you up for the disgusting piece of shit that you are... 

I’m not bragging Clatty, my behaviour was out of order. I deserve the stick from it.

[Clattypats]

I’m not bragging Clatty, my behaviour was out of order. I deserve the stick from it.

Aaand... Goodbye!... 

[Matrix]

Cheers for clearing out the shite, Davie. 

[Matrix]

Or shite as the case may be https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=198814.msg2056796#msg2056796

Dodgy from the start. 

[Clattypats]

Dodgy from the start. 

Indeedy... 

[daviemac]

Cheers for clearing out the shite, Davie. 

No probs, we don't need cunts like that on here.

[David1970]

 

No probs, we don't need cunts like that on here.

[Jock D]

I suppose it's inevitable that threads like these come up at a time when all sensible punters...and SP's...have called a halt to proceedings to try and stay safe and well and most people have a lot more spare time on their hands.

However, it's interesting to note that the OP has been a member of this forum since 2015 and his contribution since then has amounted to 21 posts...which includes the 2 posts on this thread and 2 reviews....

As for the shitting in the bath story...mmm I'm not convinced it actually happened, I think BFY has indulged  in a bit of  Billy Liar/Walter Mttty musings and it's backfired big time! 

If I'm wrong on that count and he did do the dirty deed...then, that is rank, low life scumbag behaviour of the highest order and anyone congratulating him on it needs to take a good hard look at themselves.

[Name Not Found]

... anyone congratulating him on it needs to take a good hard look at themselves.

The only useful thing that comes from stories like this is that it exposes the members who are seriously fucked up arseholes.  Every cloud....   


 

[Randy Mcknob]

Ok I'm in no way defending or condoning this dirty protest guy, but there's many posts on here about wiping the man fat and fanny batter off your cock and balls with her curtains if her service displeases you.  Why's that ok but this is a step too far, curtain fabric can be expensive and require dry cleaning, a turd in the bath can at least be got rid of without expense.

I guess I'm just making the point that it's a fairly shitty (no pun intended) belief to hold that it's ok to take some form of retribution on a sexworker if you're disapointed with her service.  So curtain wiping ok but laying cable in her tub not ok, feels like a forum double standard to me.

[Name Not Found]

... it's ok to take some form of retribution on a sexworker if you're disapointed with her service.  So curtain wiping ok but laying cable in her tub not ok, feels like a forum double standard to me.

The only person saying that's OK is you.

[David1970]

Ok I'm in no way defending or condoning this dirty protest guy, but there's many posts on here about wiping the man fat and fanny batter off your cock and balls with her curtains if her service displeases you.  Why's that ok but this is a step too far, curtain fabric can be expensive and require dry cleaning, a turd in the bath can at least be got rid of without expense.

I guess I'm just making the point that it's a fairly shitty (no pun intended) belief to hold that it's ok to take some form of retribution on a sexworker if you're disapointed with her service.  So curtain wiping ok but laying cable in her tub not ok, feels like a forum double standard to me.

Neither is reasonable, kind of obvious.

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[Randy Mcknob]

Neither is reasonable, kind of obvious.

Hidden Image/Members Only

That's part of my point, but one gets you banned one is just passed off as a joke.  Why?

[Randy Mcknob]

The only person saying that's OK is you.

Good selective quoting there, you started half way through my sentence, somewhat disingenuous there buddy.

That's not true, wiping your dick on her curtains has been posted on the wider forum multiple times, no one bats an eyelid, it's not me that says it's ok.

[David1970]

That's not true, wiping your dick on her curtains has been posted on the wider forum multiple times, no one bats an eyelid, it's not me that say's it ok.

Get your evidence together and report it to a moderator since you feel so strongly about the subject.