Trigger words that stop you or start you reading a review

[A Decent Fist]

I had something boring but essential to do tonight so of course I needed a displacement activity to take my mind off it.

Result? I have invented a new and fun-filled game for UKP members. List the words or phrases in a review's title or opening sentences that stop you reading any further and those that make you mad-keen to read on.

It's red for won't bother reading and green for the words guaranteed to pique your interest. Not obvious negatives like B&S, time-waster, etc, but personal preferences. Here are mine:

Red: BBW, curvy, busty, PAWG, pregnant, bubble-butt, ebony, black

Green: skinny, slender, petite, tiny, tall, TV/TS/trans, teen, redhead, duo

Before anyone cries "Raaaaciiiiist!" (less likely here than in other places), I sure as hell am not. But I am seldom physically attracted by anyone with dark skin.

[maxxblue]

A Decent Fist

[southern punter]

Red: enhanced

[Charles Glass]

TS, Anal, And Porn off the top of my head.

[Moby Dick]

Green: MFM, MMFF and every combo from MMF to MMMMMMF,  Bukkake/Facial,  DP, DVP, DAP, Gangbang/Party, FFM....to.... FFFFFFFM
Red: best ever, well worth it, ... anything fluffy that blows smoke up WG arses encouraging them to put up their prices.     OP has a big cock  And SCAT 

[Moby Dick]

TS, Anal, And Porn off the top of my head.

Green or red?

[bolo79bm]

A Decent Fist

 

[Dipper]

BDSM

SLAVE

100 for 30 min

DOMINATRIX

[Home Alone]

These aren't from Reviews; they're from Profiles, but they have the same effect on me.

Courtesan,

Educated to degree standard,

'Enhanced'.

See any of them and I immediately move on.

And those three are just off the top of my head; I'm sure I'll come up with more - and more relevant to the OP - tomorrow.

[Littlefoot]

GREEN - black, ebony, mixed race, DFK lovers take note, short, petite, slim, size 6, WIHJ, cheap punt, sloppy, Great CG.

RED - tall, Amazonian beauty, conveyor belt service, expensive but worth it, multiple pops (as a one popper myself).

Off the top of my head, I’m sure there’s plenty more given more thought.

[The Outsider]

Massage

Middlesbrough

Gaping

Elite

[paper7]

Red = Hello Gentlemens. Enhanced.

Green = Redheads.

[willie loman]

There are phrases that recur in certain reviewers accounts, that stop me reading, or trusting his views, eg. balls deep, face like a painters radio, takes a good pounding, got the paperwork sorted,on to round 2, these reviews are invariably an account of the posters sexual performance, rather than an indication of what the girl is actually like.

[cotton]

GREEN - Diva , nightmare , robbed , rebecca , scam , outcall
RED - bubble butt

[Corus Boy]

Treat her well.

[FriarBellows]

Princess (Entitled, Mechanical and Prudish)

[ulstersubbie]

RED = TS/BBW

       

[Charles Glass]

Green or red?

Oh yes er Red for them.

[webpunter]

Fit
Busty
Milf
Nuru

Bubbly    

[Home Alone]

Massage

Middlesbrough

Gaping

Elite

Is that more to do with football than punting?

[Payyourwaymate]

A Decent Fist

+1

[The Outsider]

Is that more to do with football than punting?

Do they still have a football team? I don't look at the big leagues.   

[bonapati]

GREEN - Diva , nightmare , robbed , rebecca , scam , outcall
RED - bubble butt

The girl or the agency 🤣

[Boristheboy]

Red = Hello Gentlemens.

Absolutely this! Is there just one Sergei writing all these profiles with the same spelling error, or do they teach it at Sergei School?

My own red flag : "Hott".

[GingerNuts]

Red = Hello Gentlemens. Enhanced.

Green = Redheads.

Presumably you've read a lot of reviews even though you haven't written any.

What's the most recent review using "hello gentlemens"?

[GingerNuts]

Absolutely this! Is there just one Sergei writing all these profiles with the same spelling error, or do they teach it at Sergei School?

My own red flag : "Hott".

This thread is about reviews, not proifiles.

[Dipper]

This thread is about reviews, not proifiles.

Good point.

I’d missed that. 

[Uoti2]

There are phrases that recur in certain reviewers accounts, that stop me reading, or trusting his views, eg. balls deep, face like a painters radio, takes a good pounding, got the paperwork sorted,on to round 2, these reviews are invariably an account of the posters sexual performance, rather than an indication of what the girl is actually like.

Good answer.

Some more suggestions for red:
"partook"
"availed myself"
"flipped her over"
any reference to the "gentlemen's toiletries" on offer

and one for green:
"big old Polish unit"
(because it often indicates an enjoyable review, not necessarily a positive one)

[oldmanking]

Blacked
TS
Anal

Petite
Athletic
OWO

[HarryZZ]

For some reason I always stop when I reading the word "husband', I can't explain it, I don't think I'm the first, last or only shag she's getting and I'm aware that the majority will be married or have partners I think it's maybe just the fact that she feels the need to say it, it's quite irrational I know.

[standardpostage]

Stop = Enhanced, BBW 

Start = Slim, size 8, toned, Italian, massage, value for money 

[Ali Katt]

BBW and BDSM? I wondered why my reviews weren't that widely read. Jokes aside, I only really read region specific ones or ones by punters whose style I like.

Cringeworthy:
* "she got my big D"
* Silly terms for female genitalia like: honeypot, pudenda, punani, lady garden etc.
* References to cunt juice tasting like sweet nectar.
* I wish she was my girlfriend.
* Best looking woman I've ever seen.

[madeinwales56]

Not sure about trigger words but great, long blocks of text with little or no punctuation really boil my piss.

[cueball]

Subject line has the effect of scrolling on for...

I'll read....
Dirty doris in manchester


I'll scroll on at....
Dirty doris, the best looking, most fantastic women that ever touched my massive cock in manchester

Give me facts, give me opinions, give me experiences, give me paragraphs (because even my brain needs to breathe in).

Don't give me.... a tale of how big your cock is, how great you are at licking pussies, how many times you gave her an earth shattering orgasm.... And how good fuckin looking YOU are.


Last and by no means least, whatever you do  don't tell me to treat her well, don't tell us you think she's under charging and it's a review of her, not you! 

[WelshClipper]

Red : Fake tits, flabby stomach, poor English, difficult to find.

Green : Size 8, solid gfe, good for a laugh  Goddess of a body helps 

Above assumes I haven't moved on already because of a litany of negative reviews   

[Gordon Bennett]

BBW and BDSM? I wondered why my reviews weren't that widely read. Jokes aside, I only really read region specific ones or ones by punters whose style I like.

Cringeworthy:
* "she got my big D"
* Silly terms for female genitalia like: honeypot, pudenda, punani, lady garden etc.
* References to cunt juice tasting like sweet nectar.
* I wish she was my girlfriend.
* Best looking woman I've ever seen.

I don't think pudenda is silly. I see it as rather specifically pertaining to her outside fanny bits, particularly the raised mons pubis area, but probably encompassing her outer labia too.
I agree that using the term pudenda as a general term for her vagina, ie, "I dived into her pudenda" would be somewhat irritating and pointless but if it's used in the correct context as part of providing details about her physiology down there I think it's acceptable.

[John Johnson]

RED   BBW, busty, milf, husband, partner, pegging, smoker.

Green Redhead, gym fit

[paper7]

Presumably you've read a lot of reviews even though you haven't written any.

What's the most recent review using "hello gentlemens"?

Dunno, can't be bothered to read them all.

Another thing that drives me up the wall is people making sweeping assumptions without bothering to find out the whole story.

I also get the impression that any comment you may make is only worthy of consideration by the number of reviews you've written.

[Watfordpunter97]

Romanian, bbw, non-sexual meets only, outcalls only

Brazilian, busty, curvy, huge tits, bubble butt

[GingerNuts]

Dunno, can't be bothered to read them all.

I suspect there aren't any and you posted without reading and/or understanding what the thread is about.

Another thing that drives me up the wall is people making sweeping assumptions without bothering to find out the whole story.

I also get the impression that any comment you may make is only worthy of consideration by the number of reviews you've written.

I'm aware of your back story but at the end of the day this is a forum built around reviews and seemingly you've never punted and never will.

[EnglishRebecca121]

amazed how many have a red for enhanced tits.

[justalad]

GREEN - GFE, SIZE 6, 8, 10, Enhanced Tits, Central Location, Tie and Tease, Spanking, Smoking Fetish, OWO, Anal

RED - Best BJ / Oral, Retirement Tour, PSE, Extras, Shared property with another SP.

[paper7]

I suspect there aren't any and you posted without reading and/or understanding what the thread is about.

Read my first post in this thread. I DO know what this thread is about, I understand it very well thanks. Can't people make any comment without 'the count police' jumping on their back? Or are people not allowed to say anything until they've reviewed someone?

[GingerNuts]

Read my first post in this thread. I DO know what this thread is about, I understand it very well thanks. Can't people make any comment without 'the count police' jumping on their back? Or are people not allowed to say anything until they've reviewed someone?

The post I asked you about was your first post in this thread.

You posted a red for "hello gentlemens" but you haven't been able to provide a single review containing the phrase.

[paper7]

The post I asked you about was your first post in this thread.

You posted a red for "hello gentlemens" but you haven't been able to provide a single review containing the phrase.

Course I wouldn't. Why would I want to see anyone that kicks off their profile with a sentence I dislike/detest.

To put it another way, if you disliked peas, would you carry eating them to prove you dislike them?
I'm sorry but I aint THAT stupid.

[GingerNuts]

Course I wouldn't. Why would I want to see anyone that kicks off their profile with a sentence I dislike/detest.

 

[Fuzzyduck]

Course I wouldn't. Why would I want to see anyone that kicks off their profile with a sentence I dislike/detest.

To put it another way, if you disliked peas, would you carry eating them to prove you dislike them?
I'm sorry but I aint THAT stupid.

I don't know whether you're deliberately pulling GN's chain or are just too proud to admit that you fucked up in your first post. Dipper didn't have any problem holding his hand up and saying "oooops".

Perhaps your prickles are up because GN made a passing reference to your lack of reviews. Yawn guys it's so boring. How can I review fresh air blah blah. I don't think people would mind so much if you actually looked like you were going to take the plunge but there's always some reason you won't. Personally, I think people should cut you some slack but be mindful this isn't UKOnlyThinkingAboutPunting.

ps: if I hated peas but hadn't eaten at all for 10 years, I'd probably eat some peas if I had the opportunity. Just saying.

[The Film Director]

* Silly terms for female genitalia like: honeypot, pudenda, punani, lady garden etc.

Mango 

[Jonestown]

Personally, I think people should cut you some slack but be mindful this isn't UKOnlyThinkingAboutPunting.

Yes, I agree with that sentiment, cut him some slack, maybe he is a social/bar member, maybe he is just cruising the aisles, but he joins in the discussion and doesn't bombard the forum with requests for recommendations, there are people far worse on here than that, save your ire for them.

[Fuzzyduck]

Yes, I agree with that sentiment, cut him some slack, maybe he is a social/bar member, maybe he is just cruising the aisles, but he joins in the discussion and doesn't bombard the forum with requests for recommendations, there are people far worse on here than that, save your ire for them.

Totally agree. He should realise though that not everyone cares or can be bothered to look into his back story. If he wants to be treated like a regular member then he's got to take criticism of his review count on the chin and respond maturely rather than than have a strop, particularly if he was mistaken in the first place.