External Link/Members OnlyFirst of all fellas, I really have to apologise for never writing a review. I usually use my phone most of the time and find it really difficult to type on it. This review also started on my phone but the interface is super unwieldy still so specially got to a PC for this.
Secondly, I feel that punting in London is an all time low. I have never felt or experienced it as dire as this, where the gamble of a new SP is getting worse and worse. Like chasing the rabbit or paying really premium prices. Even then there is no guarantee. It's come to the point where I've actually considered flying over to other countries like and having fun there occasionally rather than here regularly. I'm now spending more on my health, fitness and fashion and just talking to actual girls is seeming like better odds of good sex
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Anyway I feel in these times we must stick together and help each other so here I am no longer a lurker. Will make up for it with a lot of reviews.
Also in past years, I've always felt really guilty after each punt so I just try to forget all memories of it(good or bad) and so I didn't ever write reviews. Lately, I've come to the realisation that the world is a beautiful place and some dudes are just born to fuck. So might as well enjoy it while the willy works
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Right so onto the review. Over the years have been wary of Romanians, even though I am a sucker for those Rom hoe looks, I've never actually ever had a good experience. What a vicious circle
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Called up Megan by text, got an answer saying not in Covent Garden today but in Marble Arch area. This took place yesterday.
Now, that Marble Arch, Edgware Rd area is notorious for all kinds of dodgy SPs. I would say the success rate there of a good SP is probably 2/10. But my mind was clouded by previous Megan reviews and the visions of lapping up some solid titties and I forgot everything.
Location is near Marble Arch just off edgware road. Posh flats on a road called Stanhope place W2, BEWARE. I don't know if I'm supposed to be posting addresses but if a long time forum member tells me, I can. Flats there probably cost like 1 million pounds or whatever. So far so good, location looked posh so I was still not caught out.
Door opened and yup to my dismay was not the same girl. The flat living room was a dump, sofas covered with duvets another girl standing there like deer in headlights. Blond ish brazilian i think she could have been or some sort of latin/spanish/romanian.
The lady who opened the door was slim, big fake tits wearing a black sweater size 6 , long black hair in a ponytail and typical sort of eastern european face with quite a fit gym toned body. Really commanding lady, rushed me into the room, she was like COME and into the room I went.
Right so I've never walked out on a place, I think my empathy and horniness and being a pussy always gets in the way. But from now on I probably will. Anyway in this case the damage was only £80 so it was cheap ish and I was really horny and had a really bad morning and just wanted to empty my blue balls so I rolled with it.
Room was not too bad tbh, bed with a couple of pillows clean bathroom. So I strip down slowly cos she has left me in the room for ages and I don't know still what kind of service I'm about to get. The good or the shitty kind. In comes the lady now fully naked just walks in naked to the room. Body and all is really fit, fake tits, slim gym hoe looking type girl. Face is like 35 ish i guess at some point she must have been hot. I'm pretty sure the actual profile of this girl exists on AW but I could not find it. Takes like 5 minutes to find all her gear and stuff and then is like okay lie down. I was like yup it's the shitty kind (sighh) let me just make the best of it.
Starts talking saying nice things like oh you look nice, you are a normal guy not a crazy guy. Nice face blah blah how old. I was like do you get a lot of crazy guys? She was like mmm yeah...... Then said she was from Hungary, only here for 5 more days. English was sort of okay.
While she is talking she is touching my dick, I'm getting a bit hard and she puts on the condom and starts sucking. Starts really going hard at it up and down as fast as possible. I'm like not sure if I should just cum now or at least jack hammer my disappointment out. Anyway after a couple of minutes, she's like just BJ or sex? I was like sex. As she is sitting on top I reach for my cock and she is like "NO HANDS!!!!" So she sits on my dick but then she puts her hand between my dick and her pussy, like not letting my dick go fully in so my skin doesn't touch her pussy. Oh man she was one paranoid sanity freak bitch and i'm telling you I'm cleaner than her. I can't feel anything, I'm not enjoying and she keeps talking(within one minute of entering) - you not hard, you stressed you not hard you stress. I was like wtf is she saying. she like you not hard. I was pretty hard but her talking just sort of started making me more stressed and floppy. Then she was like "STOP TALKING, RELAX, LIE DOWN, CLOSE YOUR EYES" in a higher aggressive tone. I was like you need to stop talking, calm down and slow down, this is not fun just lie down let me take my time.
I was like this is too fast(snap snap my fingers so she gets the message). So she lies down on my side, I try to suck the titties she kisses me a bit on the neck (No DFK as expected in these services), she starts to give me a handjob and again I get hard but she just wants to finish the deed by hand and get it over with so I step in again and say wait, let me try sex again. And she kept saying throughout the punt "one moment" at so many intervals. So now she said again "ONE MOMENT" and off she went to get another condom. put it on and she like okay bj first. I start enjoying a bit touching her nice body, looking promising. Oh man she goes to town again on the BJ but even rougher than before. I can feel the teeth(first toothy BJ btw , rejoice \o/ ,....NOT!). Body looks fine, another super horny dude here might have rolled with it but my dickhead is hurting now cos she is so rough, I touch her sweaty armpits by mistakes and again she just stops knee jerk in the middle and says you stressed, but man my dick was hurting, it was not fun. Anyway I tell her to calm down just lie down again and let me take my time. I try entering missionary , touch my dick for a little wank to make it harder and she screams again angrily "NO HANDS!".
Dude at this point, I just blow my lid and I'm like fuck this I rip the condom off and just throw it and get up and i'm like I've had enough. At this point she goes into full attack mode. She's like, I know my service ,you stressed, you stressed and now she goes non stop angry swearing in whatever eastern european language for the next 10 minutes while she is roaming around the flat. She goes to the other girl in the flat and I hear loud swearing there. I'm telling the bitch you need to calm down, I'm telling you politely this is not fun or nice and you are not nice, I just want to leave. But she is non stop swearing in some language.
I go to the bathroom, wash my hands and I'm like fuck I got this bitch all over me no shower, no time to even wash my dick or the area around my dick at least let alone take a shower. She is bopping in and out of the room sort of every 1 minute while im getting dressed and continuous swearing.
Now at this point I had to weigh my odds, I am honestly afraid of a pimp in the house or nearby. I had some expensive stuff in my bag like my tablet and my phone and some money, so I decided to calmly exit. It was only £80 and not worth further aggro.
Anyway it seemed like this lady had decided how a service should go predetermined in her head and crazy with sanitation and forceful directions but in her head she is giving the best service in the world.
Went to work, washed my dick with hand soap in the toilet (damn that stung), the condoms she used were also not durex btw, some other small silver packet , that felt so itchy on the dick. Anyway at least it was all clean, she was clean as well and her sanity paranoia meant that there were 0 risks taken so that was a small win.
Woke up this morning, and man my dickhead is sore from that bitch, so here is the review.
I got some more interesting tales and will post those later.
And finally once again apologies for being so late to the party, I come in peace and bearing gifts xD.
