Have you been caught or almost caught?

[petergriffin]

OP is alive and well

After the not allowed bollox I just needed to be careful what I posted in case it gave any more fuel to the fire

All seems quiet at home which I’m not sure is good or bad news

I really fancy a punt tho 

[Wooderz]

OP is alive and well

After the not allowed bollox I just needed to be careful what I posted in case it gave any more fuel to the fire

All seems quiet at home which I’m not sure is good or bad news

I really fancy a punt tho 

So, was your loved one on bumsnet? or was it some joker off here?

[cossie1]

What website is that? May have to check it out.

[petergriffin]

So, was your loved one on bumsnet? or was it some joker off here?

We have no idea????

Someone posted a link to not allowed about a woman posting she caught her hubby with her boxers on back to front and was suspicious. The post was then deleted so I never got to view it

I had a couple of sleepless nights about it and have been ultra careful since

It planted a seed though which I can't shift

[Wooderz]

We have no idea????

Someone posted a link to not allowed about a woman posting she caught her hubby with her boxers on back to front and was suspicious. The post was then deleted so I never got to view it

I had a couple of sleepless nights about it and have been ultra careful since

It planted a seed though which I can't shift

Some people get a kick from on-line shenanigans.. "recreational trolling".. What a laugh it would be if a poster on here was to create a thread on bumsnet, link to it here..

I haven't checked who first alerted us to the thread.. Maybe they know more?

What you aught to know, is your other half on not allowed? Does she have reason to be?

Does she have a secret laptop?

Etc..

[Bonker]

I've nearly been caught a few times.
Smelling of perfume.
Smelling of smoke (I don't).
Glitter /sequins on me.
AW on my laptop.

My wife has a nose like a bloodhound, a memory like an elephant and the vengeful nature of a... er giraffe. (couldn't think of anything else).

So, over the years, I've developed and practiced a set of lies and excuses to convey any potential mishap.

I don't feel good about it but it's better than divorce and celibacy.

[anonyorks]

My favourite thing about m*msnet is them all clamouring for the OP to get to the GUM clinic as soon as possible. I imagine the ones they need to really worried about are the guys who cheat with civvies 

[bonapati]

Got a parking ticket at a hotel which was sent to my house. Very nice picture of me in my car. Luckily I was the only one home when the letter arrived. Never stayed in a hotel car park since.

This happened me once. Exactly the same scenario. I was the only once at home. Burnt the letter paid the fee immediately! Can’t forget the chill through my body when I saw the picture

[MrMatrix]

This happened me once. Exactly the same scenario. I was the only once at home. Burnt the letter paid the fee immediately! Can’t forget the chill through my body when I saw the picture

Me I put the ticket in the man cave. Paid it straight away (60 fucking quid). But the chill though my body ...fuck it rocked the boat for a few days when I realised how lucky I was to get away with it.....
Destoyed ticket after a couple of weeks when the chequed cleared.

[SN5]

Me I put the ticket in the man cave. Paid it straight away (60 fucking quid). But the chill though my body ...fuck it rocked the boat for a few days when I realised how lucky I was to get away with it.....
Destoyed ticket after a couple of weeks when the chequed cleared.

That feeling of getting away from a near miss is incredible lol.

Avoiding potentially chargeable parking and keeping to the speeding limits are definitely on the list of things to consider when going for a punt. Along with all the other things like reasons for being in the area, wiping the phone etc

[MrMatrix]

I was thinking the same. Been a member here for 2 years and suddenly this last 2 months he's every where..... Every thread .......

And the inevitable happened James.... He's gone

[wristjob]

I was thinking the same. Been a member here for 2 years and suddenly this last 2 months he's every where..... Every thread .......

I only really noticed him a week or 2 ago, checked his history and something like 20 posts in a couple of hours and every one of them total crap. Reminded me a bit of Vorlian if you can remember him.

[mh]

And the inevitable happened James.... He's gone

A relief!

This crap really is getting very tiresome.

After I called him out on his imbecilic language he appeared to stop - for a while. I see he reverted quite quickly.

[Widescreen]

That feeling of getting away from a near miss is incredible lol.

Avoiding potentially chargeable parking and keeping to the speeding limits are definitely on the list of things to consider when going for a punt. Along with all the other things like reasons for being in the area, wiping the phone etc

And NOT setting your Sat Nav for the WG's Post Code......

I almost came unstuck with that one last year.  I had never had a legitimate reason to go to Sheffield, yet in recent places there was a Sheffield Post Code, seen by the OH.  Told her I had just put a new updated DVD in the Sat Nav and was making sure it was all dialled in correctly.....

[MrMatrix]

And NOT setting your Sat Nav for the WG's Post Code......

I almost came unstuck with that one last year.  I had never had a legitimate reason to go to Sheffield, yet in recent places there was a Sheffield Post Code, seen by the OH.  Told her I had just put a new updated DVD in the Sat Nav and was making sure it was all dialled in correctly.....

Fuck, thats a close one. Same goes for mobile post codes as well I guess

[BogBog1]

Glitter that seems to be in some lipstick/makeup has almost done for me a couple of times. The only time my OH actually mentioned it, she asked "who have you been kissing - there's glitter all round your mouth?"... I felt my insides literally fall out of my arse and had to think in record time. LUCKILY I had been to an after-work drinks thing for a female colleague's birthday, and had given her a (completely non-sexual, just friendly) birthday kiss. So I just said "oh, it must have been when I gave [female colleague] a birthday hug, you know how much makeup she always wears (which was true - she shovelled it on with a trowel)". Luckily the OH bought it and no further suspicion followed.

But ever since then, I only ever punt when I know I'll be able to have a long shower between the punt and seeing the OH again. So that means either when I'm away overnight for work (which I often am), or when the OH is out for the day/afternoon/evening. If I know neither of those things are possible, I abstain.



 

[mh]

But ever since then, I only ever punt when I know I'll be able to have a long shower between the punt and seeing the OH again. So that means either when I'm away overnight for work (which I often am), or when the OH is out for the day/afternoon/evening. If I know neither of those things are possible, I abstain.

The shower is a good idea ... but watch out for the towels.

I once had a punt in a beautiful apartment. Around 9 stories up and one floor below the penthouse level, with floor to ceiling windows affording a great view of people going about their business down on the ground while I was balls deep in the arse of a girl who had spared no expense in choosing her surroundings. The bathroom had a high pressure shower and a very high quality finish. The pile towels were luxurious and pampering. I felt like I had been to an X-rated spa.

That night when I entered the bathroom I suddenly realised that I had pink fluff all over my chest, legs, pubes. 

Since that day I have avoided taking a shower after a punt unless I am in dire need and I certainly would only use a white towel, and not a fluffy one for sure.

[Derrick101]

That night when I entered the bathroom I suddenly realised that I had pink fluff all over my chest, legs, pubes. 

That sounds like an AW review.... Fluffy bollocks!

Sorry, I'll get my coat

[mh]

Fluffy bollocks!

 

[webpunter]

Hilarious 

Hopefully your mate didn't post on the thread rating the OH 

A mate of mine fell asleep with his laptop open while he was signed in on this site and his girlfriend spent the evening digging into his posts and comments. It didn't end well !

On the laptop theme i was in the conservatory by the lounge
I was sitting with my back to the window & it was dark outside
OH was busying herself in the house
I said i was working on my laptop - which was true, i had some bizzo stuff open
Also had Awank open
Didn't flinch when she came into the lounge as this makes things obvious
Had to close down Awank a few times & then re-open when she walked into the conservatory
Of course whatever was open on screen 'behind' Awank then shows so i'm in the clear
I'd not react & be calm as i figured that by the time she walked across the lounge & conservatory i had plenty of time to close down Awank
I went to get a beer i'd left in the lounge & as i could hear that the OH was in the kitchen i left Awank open
Plenty of time for me to get back to laptop if she decided to come into the lounge doing whatever tittivating bollox she felt was important
As i walked back to the laptop i nearly had a heart attack
Even from in the lounge there was the reflection from the laptop screen in the window
Clear as day that something to do with porn or naked women etc
Purple was the most prominent colour 
It would have been so easy for her to notice 
I had that tightening feeling of the stomach & a shiver went through me
That brought the evening's perusing on Awank to an abrupt stop !

[coconut101]

I am not sure if this counts. Once went for a punt in a well known apartment block, for some strange reason knocked on the wrong door, same corridor  Opened straight away, family guy, kids running around. With a big smile "Hi did you order the pizza?". Confused middle aged man said no. "Terribly sorry wrong flat" and legged it  Waited 5 minutes and did the deed.

If my OH asks something I have a preplanned statement EVERY TIME. But punting phone, incognito, parking well away, preplanned excuses etc are mandatory in this game. Otherwise big divorce bills, kids taken away and just a general meltdown of normal functioning life to look forward to IMO. Also dont forget to give OH a good time as well, keep them happy  Punting is just adventurous sex with a hot lady, for a price 

[professorlove]

Yeah I got caught  few years ago now. The hobby had just started as well. The girl I saw was using an apartment in the same building as one of the misses bestfriends - infact she lived in the opposite apartment.

Came out she saw me and I saw her... looked at her and I knew I was fucked! She had been suspicious of that apartment for a while with the different people she was bumping into. So had put the two together.  And well I didn’t have an excuse to be there at all.

Misses was informed of course and I couldn’t deny it. Still I managed to survive it - too much to lose on both sides. Try to punt still but its very very rare as we both work together too. And the misses is very hawk like now 

The funny thing is I didn’t actually feel guilty at all

[MrMatrix]

Yeah I got caught  few years ago now. The hobby had just started as well. The girl I saw was using an apartment in the same building as one of the misses bestfriends - infact she lived in the opposite apartment.

Came out she saw me and I saw her... looked at her and I knew I was fucked! She had been suspicious of that apartment for a while with the different people she was bumping into. So had put the two together.  And well I didn’t have an excuse to be there at all.

Misses was informed of course and I couldn’t deny it. Still I managed to survive it - too much to lose on both sides. Try to punt still but its very very rare as we both work together too. And the misses is very hawk like now 

The funny thing is I didn’t actually feel guilty at all

Did your missus decide she needed to make more effort though?
Bad luck on getting caught

[BogBog1]

Yeah I got caught  few years ago now. The hobby had just started as well. The girl I saw was using an apartment in the same building as one of the misses bestfriends - infact she lived in the opposite apartment.

Came out she saw me and I saw her... looked at her and I knew I was fucked! She had been suspicious of that apartment for a while with the different people she was bumping into. So had put the two together.  And well I didn’t have an excuse to be there at all.

Misses was informed of course and I couldn’t deny it. Still I managed to survive it - too much to lose on both sides. Try to punt still but its very very rare as we both work together too. And the misses is very hawk like now 

The funny thing is I didn’t actually feel guilty at all

Wow that's a bad one, sorry to hear that. I guess that's why punting in your home town is VERY risky - you just never, never know who will be right there at the wrong moment. And that's all it takes - one moment. Whenever I punt in my home town, I ALWAYS combine it with a reason to be in the general vicinity. So if I randomly bump into (for example) a friend of the OH, I can say "oh hey X, I'm just [insert genuine errand I'm on]. Of course it wouldn't get me out of the problem of coming out of the apartment across the corridor!

[professorlove]

After the dust settled she made more of an effort, and I did too (just to make things better really) but then it just went back to how it was but with less trust. It’s the way she wants to deal with it I guess. Can’t blame her.

Sheer bad luck really and I guess since its me thats seeing other women, the onus is on me to hide it from her that I still think about this hobby.

[MrMatrix]

After the dust settled she made more of an effort, and I did too (just to make things better really) but then it just went back to how it was but with less trust. It’s the way she wants to deal with it I guess. Can’t blame her.

Sheer bad luck really and I guess since its me thats seeing other women, the onus is on me to hide it from her that I still think about this hobby.

If she had made more effort before you started punting you probably wouldn't have the need to go else where in the first place, do you not think?
Terrible bad luck indeed and yes the onus is on you to be descrete. However do you want a more rewarding sex life with the OH, then you have leverage to ask for it or else...

[webpunter]

That is seriously bad luck
But funny as well.  Reading that is 
Bet you had that sinking feeling come over you sharpish 
Bet also that both your face & your OHs friends face were a picture !

I take it you didn't know that your OHs friend lived in the area where you were going for action ?
Punting too close to home is like shitting on your own doorstep
Set your own radius depending on the situation

Yeah I got caught  few years ago now. The hobby had just started as well. The girl I saw was using an apartment in the same building as one of the misses bestfriends - infact she lived in the opposite apartment.

Came out she saw me and I saw her... looked at her and I knew I was fucked! She had been suspicious of that apartment for a while with the different people she was bumping into. So had put the two together.  And well I didn’t have an excuse to be there at all.

Misses was informed of course and I couldn’t deny it. Still I managed to survive it - too much to lose on both sides. Try to punt still but its very very rare as we both work together too. And the misses is very hawk like now 

The funny thing is I didn’t actually feel guilty at all

[webpunter]

A mate of mine pocket dialled his OH whilst on the job
No excuses to get outta that
He still can't figure out how he did it
Screenlock is a good idea !

[Derrick101]

A mate of mine pocket dialled his OH whilst on the job
No excuses to get outta that
He still can't figure out how he did it
Screenlock is a good idea !

Obviously didn't have a punting phone     If he did, what was OH's number doing on it 

[webpunter]

His own phone
Needed it when out & about
Figuring better to be contactable than not
Not on this occasion as it turned out

Served as a salutory reminder to be ultra careful with all things punting, not just phones
Likewise with this thread

Obviously didn't have a punting phone     If he did, what was OH's number doing on it 

I reckon each & every UKP'er who is actively punting will have had at least one close shave, if not a couple
With things arising unexpectedly which you really can't plan for
If caught / a suspicion on the same there is a lesson to be learned here:  External Link/Members Only

[Ali Katt]

Out of interest to all the married punters. If you found your wife was seeing men off say FAB, would you be annoyed and would you get divorced? No judgement from me I just want to figure out the mechanics.

[professorlove]

If she had made more effort before you started punting you probably wouldn't have the need to go else where in the first place, do you not think?
Terrible bad luck indeed and yes the onus is on you to be descrete. However do you want a more rewarding sex life with the OH, then you have leverage to ask for it or else...

I can’t be sure really. Even if we did still have a sex life together I probably would still have tried seeing an escort at some point. Do I want a more rewarding sex life with her? probably not really if I’m honest. No fault of her own but my own boredom really. If she started seeing escorts I’d totally understand. It be hypocritical of me if I didn’t

[professorlove]

That is seriously bad luck
But funny as well.  Reading that is 
Bet you had that sinking feeling come over you sharpish 
Bet also that both your face & your OHs friends face were a picture !

I take it you didn't know that your OHs friend lived in the area where you were going for action ?
Punting too close to home is like shitting on your own doorstep
Set your own radius depending on the situation

Well looking back it’s actually quite humorous - I remember walking out the door and seeing her come out the door, I quickly spun around so that my back was to her...me biting my lip and muttering, “sh*t! sh*t!”.

She just called out my name and all I could say was, “Hi! (x)”, whilst nodding my head 

[webpunter]

Best way to look at things is to smile
Not so easy at the time when feeling the blood draining out of you

At least you bumped into her on the way out
Rather than the way in
Which would have put the knackers on the punt
Least you unloaded

Can you imagine if she had seen you but not vice versa
She sees you go in & has her suspicions bout the place
She would be straight onto your OH who would be round
Either banging on the door or waiting with a surprise for when you are leaving 

Well looking back it’s actually quite humorous - I remember walking out the door and seeing her come out the door, I quickly spun around so that my back was to her...me biting my lip and muttering, “sh*t! sh*t!”.

She just called out my name and all I could say was, “Hi! (x)”, whilst nodding my head 

[professorlove]

It is a hobby for the brave and for now I’ve gotten away lightly.

The only downside is that many of the girls that were on my hot list end up retiring before I have the opportunity to see them

[blackd2103]

It is a hobby for the brave and for now I’ve gotten away lightly.

The only downside is that many of the girls that were on my hot list end up retiring before I have the opportunity to see them

same for me as i only punt once or twice a year

[Bonker]

You missed a trick professor.
You could have told your wife that her best friend invited you round on a pretext and tried h to seduce you. You refused, as you are madly in love with your Oh. Best friend went crazy and swore revenge...

[BogBog1]

You missed a trick professor.
You could have told your wife that her best friend invited you round on a pretext and tried h to seduce you. You refused, as you are madly in love with your Oh. Best friend went crazy and swore revenge...

Now THIS is the best response I've read so far. Genius! 

[notcalledchris]

Out of interest to all the married punters. If you found your wife was seeing men off say FAB, would you be annoyed and would you get divorced? No judgement from me I just want to figure out the mechanics.

I wouldn't mind.   Life would be easier if we could both admit to screwing other people as well as each other.   She'd have  to fess up first though.   I'm not stupid.

[professorlove]

You missed a trick professor.
You could have told your wife that her best friend invited you round on a pretext and tried h to seduce you. You refused, as you are madly in love with your Oh. Best friend went crazy and swore revenge...

The friend is quite fit actually. I do imagine what shes like when I see her gossiping with the OH.

[MrMatrix]

I wouldn't mind.   Life would be easier if we could both admit to screwing other people as well as each other.   She'd have  to fess up first though.   I'm not stupid.

+1. I'd probably wish him best of luck as well

[m4rmite]

I can’t be sure really. Even if we did still have a sex life together I probably would still have tried seeing an escort at some point. Do I want a more rewarding sex life with her? probably not really if I’m honest. No fault of her own but my own boredom really. If she started seeing escorts I’d totally understand. It be hypocritical of me if I didn’t

I'd be more pissed off that she keeps her legs sealed to me, i'm sure she's asexual.
Touch her in bed and anyone would think i got tazer fingers.

[mh]

I'd be more pissed off that she keeps her legs sealed to me, i'm sure she's asexual.
Touch her in bed and anyone would think i got tazer fingers.

Yes, the "are you fucking insane, how dare you invade my personal space in this the marital bed" reaction. 

[webpunter]

Brilliant 

That sounds like an AW review.... Fluffy bollocks!

Sorry, I'll get my coat

[getsbettereverytime]

Oh boy I feel for your mate , that's fairly brutal

this happened one of my mates, ended in full disaster - parents, friends, family all dragged into it, lost his marriage, kids, house and huge pile of cash, I think he really pushed the limits though, all sorts of dodgy stuff.

[Bonker]

Thank you Zakk   

[bukowski]

That feeling of getting away from a near miss is incredible lol.

`Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.`

 Winston Churchill

[lvtpunt]

Threads a little old now but one time my missus found a condom wrapper in the car with a "what is this?". The adrenaline kicked in and I just said that must be from last week when we shagged in the car, which was true luckily (the johnny wrapper wasn't from then though). She laughed and went red so I knew it was just a close shave.

Slightly off topic but looking at a few of wooderz' posts, did anyone else get the feeling it may have been a snooping woman and not a real bloke?

[Ali Katt]

Threads a little old now but one time my missus found a condom wrapper in the car with a "what is this?". The adrenaline kicked in and I just said that must be from last week when we shagged in the car, which was true luckily (the johnny wrapper wasn't from then though). She laughed and went red so I knew it was just a close shave.

Slightly off topic but looking at a few of wooderz' posts, did anyone else get the feeling it may have been a snooping woman and not a real bloke?

If you've got half an hour to spare read through his posts he was called out early on. I don't think he was a woman though.

[Waterhouse]

If you've got half an hour to spare read through his posts he was called out early on. I don't think he was a woman though.

Not a woman, just a Class A tosser.