Back from a 2 week trip here (ended up extending my stay as the flights were cheap and I was having too much of a good time!) and here are a list of nightclubs, brothels, bars etc with details for anyone interested and what you can expect. Also towards the bottom is a recommendation on a couple of pay for services.
The well known clubs:
D-Fleur - Higher end, used to be called D*lux but has been rebranded and refurbished. Under the previous name I highly rated this place. Now it’s a little bit more expensive, although nothing outrageous. On both nights I went I had an OK time - 4:1 ratio to women:men but quite a few prostitutes in the higher end (4,000 upwards/ £100 upwards range). Don’t attempt to go unless you are very smartly dressed. Plenty of English speaking girls.
Caribbean Club - Lower end, wear pretty much anything except sportswear and you’ll be allowed in. More of a cabaret type club with singers and dancers at various intervals on some nights. Quite a few prostitutes here and some very hard to spot some until they whisper in your ear how much they charge (which is pretty early on so you don’t waste your time and theirs). Some are even paid for by the club itself as you need to pay the club a commission on their services. Prices ranged between 2,500 and 4,000 (£68/£115) for the girls for 2/3 hours. The ones who stand out as prostitutes are the higher end and the ones who just look like girl-next-door girls are at the lower end.
However there are also plenty of local girls looking to hookup which won’t cost you anything except a 200 (£5) taxi fair to send them home in the morning! Had plenty of luck here without paying for it but good luck in working out who’s who! I’d say 50% of the girls I spoke to here could understand English.
Chi - High end club full of gorgeous girls who document their lives on Instagram while they are there. Pretentious place. Had 1 good night here and picked someone up but the second time I went back there were hardly any women there and it was just a cock fest. Worth going to if you like the higher class of girl just might be a bit hit an miss with how many girls are actually there. The days I went were Friday/Saturday nights so should have been busy. Lots of English speaking girls.
Forsage - Student club situated near the university area. Only 18-25s go here and you don’t find many tourists in there. If you’re over 40 you’ll stand out like a sore thumb - one poor chap spent the whole night leaning on the bar with no-one near him. Had a brilliant couple of nights here and because it’s a young locals place not a prostitute in sight, just genuine girls looking a for a good night. Being younger girls a lot of them spoke English aswell which is handy. Easy to chat with girls and pick some up. Everything was extremely cheap here and getting laid in a threesome cost me 1/4 bottle of Vodka!
Shooters - Very small club and a bit of a mixed bag in terms of a review. Years ago it was rammed with arrogant aggressive Turks and I hadn’t been since but decided to give it another go and it’s improved a lot. Plenty of girls looking for a good night here and if you’re out of luck they’ll always be a couple of paid for girls sitting at the bar. If you pay for a table here the venue always provide you with a couple of girls - although they don’t tell you this (or probably admit it) it’s pretty obvious when you see the same girls dancing with groups of ugly blokes who booked a table on the 3 nights I visited. I suspect this in common place in most clubs. Most girls I’ve spoken to here could speak English.
The unknown bars: Take a taxi to the other side of the river to the East and you’ll find loads of locals bars and clubs. There are a strip of them on Rusanivska Embarkment or you could try around Mykoly Bazhana (Vodka Grill and a few other places around there) - you won’t have to pay any girls in these areas, all local girls looking for a good time. This was my favourite place to start a night out and sometime take girls with you to club back in the centre. Being a locals area finding an English speaking girl can be a bit harder but they do exist.
General nightclub advice: If you plan on staying in any of these clubs for any length of time then I highly recommend getting a table. Whatever you pay for the table is, in nearly all clubs, just a deposit for drink so you don’t actually pay for the table. If you get a table and have a bottle of Vodka/Gin/Whiskey on your table then it’s like flies around shit. If you fail to pull a girl when you’ve got a table and bottle of drink then there is something wrong with you. It helps if you’re travelling with a friend or two as this lowers the bill as it’s split between more than one person, and most girls are in pairs, 3s or 4s. Also, don’t get too drunk - girls don’t like it if you can’t talk or stand up. Another tip, if you’re buying a girl drinks and towards the end of the night when you want to get them home and they suggest going to a karaoke bar say no - they are on commission to get you there. It’s also shit unless you can sing in Ukrainian/Russian!
Now the pay for services....
Salon Dream - Wow...The girls are out of this world. Prices between £40 and £100 for a body to body massage and various other extras depending on which service you go for. Highly recommend the two girl VIP which includes plenty of touching and kissing both girls. Expensive if you consider how much you can pay to fuck someone here but it’s a very good service and worth every penny if you’ve got some free time during the day. I used it twice in the two weeks I was there.
Brothels - Hard to describe where the place I went is as I’d consumed a bottle of Vodka and various other drinks before arriving but from what I remember it is on Sofiivska Street going towards Independence Square about halfway down the road set back behind the buildings. If you get in a taxi and they ask if you want to go to a brothel, which they will all ask you if you’re a bloke in a taxi late at night with no girl with you, then say yes near independence square and it will probably be the same one. We negotiated a price with the taxi driver before we were taken there but didn’t specify extras - at that time of the night/early morning I didn’t need any, just a hole to pump for an hour. Everything was with a condom and no reverse oral. I think it cost 2000 UAH for an hour. Good selection of girls once inside. A girl for everyone, big tits, small tits, size 6, size 18. You sit down in a lounge area surrounded by girls in lingerie sat around with drinks though then line up infront of you and you take your pick. While the girl you choose goes off to get ready the other girls look after you. There are plenty of brothels like this around Kiev.
Escorting websites - If someone has glossy photo shoot photos then most likely B&S. Stay clear of the bargain basement 800 UAH girls - those are fucking dreadful. At £22 an hour you shouldn’t really be surprised but don’t be tempted unless you’ve just got in at 5am and can’t see straight. Remember you can always send a girl away if you aren’t happy with what has turned up but you’ll have to pay her taxi - about 150-200 UAH (they’ll claim!) It’s easier just going to a club and looking for a prossie there as you can just see them in the flesh and take your pick - you’ll pay the same as booking online but will have the benefit of chatting to them for free before deciding to proceed or not. They won’t require a drink buying for them and will leave immediately so they can fuck you and get back to the club. Always negotiate on the time of the meeting and extras though before handing over any money.
Prostitute friendly hotels:
Hotel Tourist - Need to sign in with reception and require ID
Royal De Paris - No need to sign in but it’s a shithole.
Dnipro Hotel - They used to charge you if they arrive after 9pm
Ukraine Hotel - Sometimes have to sign in as security at the lift but a couple of times there was no one there.
There are probably a lot more prostitute friendly hotels as prostitution is rife and they frequent a lot of the hotel lobbies but above are the only ones I’ve stayed in. My advise as always is get an apartment to save the hassle but not everyone likes to do this.
