Author Topic: Carmel Anderson: London periphery  (Read 7159 times)


5 review(s) for XXcarmelXX (4 positive, 0 neutral, 1 negative) [Indexed by Goldfinch]

Offline Heph

Carmel Anderson
London periphery, several locations - typically incall budget hotels or rented apartments

External Link/Members Only


Making arrangements / comms
Several visits, over several months, at several locations; usually on the outskirts of London - have not witnessed much improvement in Ms Anderson's lamentably poor organisational skills. The experience of arriving at each appointment has been, from a customer's perspective, less than seamless at best - and some have been teeth-grindingly vexing, to the point where I've felt justified no-showing, or else turning up only to leave, the better to help her appreciate and share the inconvenience she has inadvertently put me to.

Not a promising way to open a review, nor to conduct one's business. Carmel is, or has been, simply incompetent at this aspect of dealing with hers. She hasn't yet absorbed the notions that, if, for example, you have an appointment on which business depends, then setting out with more than ample time to arrive early is essential; or, that if you anticipate being late, your default action should be to call your client/s to inform them, more than 10 minutes before your due start time.

This is a serious gripe, and I speak as someone who is habitually late himself. After at least two years experience in this business, there is no doubt that she simply needs to improve this aspect of her offering - however, I do have a sense that she will. So, moving on...

The woman
She is, to my eyes, undoubtedly pretty, albeit a wee diamond in the rough - layered with tattoos and hair extensions. She features in plenty of porn films, so you can judge for yourself. It may just be understandable short-hand, but she'll refer to herself as a porn-star, which is a little rich for me, but then, the only two other adult performers that I've seen - KDB and Angie George, both similarly promoted themselves. Hardly household names, any of them, but these days, its mostly just a tool by which they can market and differentiate themselves - allowing them to command a premium hourly rate, and bagging a few hundred whilst they're at it.

In person, at her work, she's not so different to her films: cheerful and ditzy; a little loud, a little gormless (I've heard some jaw-droppingly daft things pour out of her lips); friendly, sometimes sassy and maybe even canny, and also, at the bottom of it all, really quite sweet and decent. Despite having written some of those foregoing critiques, I really am fond of her - she's a bad girl come good being bad.

Services
I often choose to indulge in a fairly limited palette of saucery, so, often I can't vouch for whether you can get a nip of whatever your particular fancy might be. But, I've no reason to suppose that she won't dish up something from her menu, if you ask. I've found her to be surprisingly awkward at the starting gun each time. She doesn't seem to have fallen into a set act, which I am grateful for, but she also doesn't own the langour or self-possession that I like to see in a woman. She will, however, ask you what you want her to do, and within reason, she will oblige too.

Thereafter, I've always found things happen more naturally and therefore agreeably. She comes into her own and reliably offers up a mix of enthusiasm, energy, warmth and tenderness enough to have made me pleased that I'd taken the gamble not to walk off in a huff at her earlier mishandling of the appointment.

I think she runs a fairly tight schedule when she's working, though I've never been bundled out of the door. Prices are, as previously alluded to, higher than we might expect to find for an everyday independent. This has meant that I haven't felt able to treat myself as frequently as i might like to, which is too bad for me.

Conclusion
I enjoy time with her: if she can get accustomed to a system which means she organises her accomodation location and punctuality better, she ought to thrive.







DylanPerry

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When one looks up "hot air" in the informal dictionary, they may just well find this review.
I don't think I've ever come across such a long review, which doesn't actually even attempt to describe the sexual services 🤔🤔🤔
& that's with it funnily enough being a hybrid review of numerous punts (which, technically, is not how one is meant to review).

Offline Heph

It's doesn't seem to be a popular review - conceded, but there are plenty lengthier ones.

Some, perhaps many, punts are a mish-mash of experiences and moods. The particulars of what happens on any given occasion seem, to me, to depend on the one-off chemistry of the two people in question. What happens to me when I visit will likely be different to another's exeperience: - how much more so on a different day, with different weather, her time-of-the-month and other variables to contend with?

So, if someone is looking for something along the lines of 'paperwork done; first we did this, then that, then t'other, then I came in her gob, we discussed life & then I fooked-off', then, yes, it might be a disappointment, and that's just too bad. But then again, you have an embarrassment of choice of that sort to entertain yourself with. Or you could just watch porn instead.

What I've have sought to do is to give you, the prospective punter, a sound idea, based upon the experience of my several visits, of what, you might encounter, generally speaking. And that, in Ms Anderson's case is this:

* there's an above-average likelihood of being messed about with your arranged appointment timings; but...
* she seems to offer most of the expected services from her profile likes (though I haven't sampled anything like them all);
* she is the girl in the pics & the porn;
* she's a bit of a rough diamond;
* but she's also honest, decent and enthusiastic,
* though relatively expensive.
* Despite my misgivings, on balance, I like her, and feel you will probably have a nice time and not feel scammed if you also decide to take a punt.

To my mind, those essential character-defining qualities are the actually useful bits that I would personally seek and appreciate your advice on, if our roles as reader and reviewer were reversed. Whether she twirls her tongue up my rectum whilst humming Lily Marlene - or not, is probably too much of a variable, and therefore of limited value to you or anyone. That's just my view, of course - and I accept that you look for something different, whatever that may be.

Sorry it didn't work for you first time. If there's something in particular you want to ask about her that I might be able to help you with, I'll most likely be happy to oblige. Otherwise: tant pis.


« Last Edit: May 08, 2018, 02:18:38 am by Heph »

Offline Heph

Also - for further clarification, I'm usually disinclined to leave detailed particulars of events because a/ it's just not my thAng; and b/ in the case of several recent reviews, I've good reason to believe that doing so would help the SP identify me, which I also don't want to happen - for obvs reasons.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2018, 02:25:45 am by Heph »

DylanPerry

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What a lot of hot air. Transition all of that waffle into an actual review which will probably take half the time it took for you to write not only the garbage in the original review, but moreover in your first reply.

I appreciate the description of a punt, minute by minute, could help one be identified. I share the same 'fear', and even tend to not review English WGs I see because of said fear. However, check my review here for an example how one can give a generic "I got A, B, C and D" without necessarily giving themselves away if said WG were to read the review-- https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=189188.0.

Imo, your "review" is one of the greatest pieces of tosh I've seen on this site. From what you've written, you could have literally gone in for a 5 minute cuppa on each occasion. Ludicrous.

DylanPerry

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Your paragraph allegedly to be RE "services", is actually more commenting on her attitude. There is a difference.

"Services
I often choose to indulge in a fairly limited palette of saucery, so, often I can't vouch for whether you can get a nip of whatever your particular fancy might be. But, I've no reason to suppose that she won't dish up something from her menu, if you ask. I've found her to be surprisingly awkward at the starting gun each time. She doesn't seem to have fallen into a set act, which I am grateful for, but she also doesn't own the langour or self-possession that I like to see in a woman. She will, however, ask you what you want her to do, and within reason, she will oblige too.

Thereafter, I've always found things happen more naturally and therefore agreeably. She comes into her own and reliably offers up a mix of enthusiasm, energy, warmth and tenderness enough to have made me pleased that I'd taken the gamble not to walk off in a huff at her earlier mishandling of the appointment.

I think she runs a fairly tight schedule when she's working, though I've never been bundled out of the door. Prices are, as previously alluded to, higher than we might expect to find for an everyday independent. This has meant that I haven't felt able to treat myself as frequently as i might like to, which is too bad for me."

Tosh.

Offline Heph

Well, that's just too bad.

I looked at the example you gave, and, yes, I can see it has its merits - certainly it's a digestible read, but the angles you opt for just aren't ones that interest me much. For example, the following is probably so particular to your unique time-and-place on that, that it can't really offer much useful insight to me -

"I seem to have been tailed in the elevator. Irish geezer got in with me, didn't click a floor (I assumed he was going to the same floor I was). When we arrived, he stayed in the elevator and went back down to the bar area... May be conincidence...a meaningless drunk guy messing about, could have been a suspicious patron who clocked on to something,  or lastly could of course have been the WG's pimp/security."

And, when you wrote this -  "Nipples were weird to me...very small in width/circumferance, but very long. Fairly tight, neat pussy that gets particularly 'creamy'."
... I'm sure it was an accurate representation of how you felt, but I personally can't and don't gauge my prospective whores by their nipple-length, or circumference, nor by the creaminess of their poons (Also - to what exactly does that refer - her labial texture, or some kind of ooze?).

And, as I said in my follow up to your initial comment, I dislike listing particulars...

a/ because I assume that we all refer to the AW link and their services list anyway, and
b/ whether or not you found 'doggy to be the highlight' is too subjective for my tastes

... and so, I will point out a discrepancy between her likes list and her delivery to me, if I encounter it. If not, I'm sorry, but I just can't be bothered writing out all of that readers' wives letters crap about positions & how many times I thought she came.


So I looked up some of your other reviews, and without getting into a mud-slinging match, they also have their own idiosyncratic problems:

* Scorecards listing marks of 22.5 out of 30 :sarcastic: 

* Massive several thousand word disquisitions, which is fine, but hard to take from a guy who has just thrown round accusations of waffling.

* And plenty of questionable hard-fact gems like "She tans very well during the summer months." and all of the many modest, self-deprecating references to how enormous your willy is (I know we're all reassured & grateful).

Conclusion: pot calling the kettle black is a bad look at the best of times.

Anyway, look - :timeout:  I take your points on board, though I can't promise that you'll like my future offerings any better than this one. I'm going to assume that we both try and operate with integrity; that you mean well and that you'd want to look out for your fellow punters to help us all avoid real scams or bad quality girls. I'd just ask for the same allowance from you, because those truly are my motivations here.

And that's my peace-offering.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2018, 12:19:32 am by Heph »

DylanPerry

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Yet another lengthy waffle from you where time could have been better spent writing a half decent review.

Yes the quotes you give from my reviews are the general fluff. Let the potentially gained insight continue to go over your head, no point me being explicit. Regardless, all of my reviews, as do probably 99.9% of reviews, has a section on actual service and says what is on the table and/or what was sampled, and most importantly...to what standard. This is perhaps the most important part of the review (considering that a good looking WG offering a tepid service often gets a neutral...and an average looking WG offering a solid service will get a positive). You do not do this.
Unlike you for me, I don't have time to nor am I that interested in your past reviews. However, if they all are the same in regards to (not) describing the actual service, I'm suprised you haven't been called for it before. If for some reason you do usually describe the service, but haven't for this WG, it begs many questions.

Perhaps use this in future: External Link/Members Only
Pay particular attention to 2.6.1 "Describe the services you used and the price you paid. Specify extras. Please detail any variations from the services and prices advertised. If services were not as agreed, describe your qualification and contracting before the punt. This will help other punters differentiate whether the profile is accurate, she is honest through the process of contracting and whether she delivers as agreed in the room."
« Last Edit: May 09, 2018, 01:12:04 am by DylanPerry »

Offline Heph

So, just avoid them in future.

The better to continue investing your valuable time subtly and modestly telling us all what a very big willy you have.  :thumbsup:
bye!
« Last Edit: May 09, 2018, 01:17:22 am by Heph »

DylanPerry

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I take it all back. You clarified that "she is the girl in the pics & the porn". What great intel. Don't think we could have figured that one out in the current days of social media where such "pornstars" have links to their adultwork on their pages 🤦

EDIT: After wracking my brain I thought I had once come across a review as bizarre as this current one...and here it is https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=193832.0. Could have saved myself the bother. You were already advised against your ridiculous style by numerous "senior" members, and obviously took no heed.

One comment said:
Strange, his other reviews were normal but this is a load of crap.
(I can't be asked to read through your other 5 reviews myself) So maybe this one on Carmel is to make the KDB one not stick out...or maybe you go a bit funny when reviewing a "pornstar".

You're either trolling, looking for a wife, looking for a PR job for "pornstars"...or any given combination of those. Don't really care. Happy punting (or wife/job hunting?) :hi:
« Last Edit: May 09, 2018, 01:27:46 am by DylanPerry »

Offline glowworm

This site is for reviewing prostitutes not electrical goods or restaurants  :dash:

Offline dicksmith

So, just avoid them in future.

The better to continue investing your valuable time subtly and modestly telling us all what a very big willy you have.  :thumbsup:
bye!

Your review consisted mostly of pretentious bollocks and gave the reader very little useful information. Please don't be surprised you were called out on it.

Offline Ripoffbriton

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 :lol:
The review reminds me of the verbose Bernard Cribbins character in the Fawlty Towers episode "The Hotel Inspectors."
Banned reason: Arsehole of a troll.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline Beanhead

This site is for reviewing prostitutes not electrical goods or restaurants  :dash:

 :lol:

Offline Wood2017

This site is for reviewing prostitutes not electrical goods or restaurants  :dash:

Fantastic  :lol: :lol:

Without trying to stoke the fire i would advise it's certainly one of the more backhanded positives i've read.

If charging pornstar rates then a pornstar experience is to be expected.