Emotional Attachment Syndrome

[Colston36]

Yeah, that was my plan - and you're absolutely right about being needy vs staying cool.

Thanks

I had not read your splendid tale until now. I would have done exactly what you did, considered myself a lucky bastard for having had the experience of a lifetime and not regretted it for a second. No point in being jealous though. Just got to hope proceedings can continue after the present hiatus.

[usroads]

This is a fascinating thread. I actually believe EAS can cut both ways. If any punter or girl is in an EAS situation and they get thru these unprecedented times I think they'll be together a long time. Good on ya.

[xyfek]

I wonder if males get different levels of oxytocin hits which causes EAS.

There's no logic involved. Who wants to keep one chewed up sweet when in a sweet shop?

Judging by countless posts on UKP, a lot of people do, myself included. Otherwise, no one would keep regulars. And we do that because they're reliable, and check all our boxes in the bedroom. With some girls you just click, and often it gets better and better. So why risk a bad punt with some grumpy yet attractive Romanian?

One thing I'll agree, it's a dangerous path once you find one that's perfect for you and you keep visiting her. I'd say it's only possible to develop EAS for a regular like that.

[B4bcock]

One thing I'll agree, it's a dangerous path once you find one that's perfect for you and you keep visiting her. I'd say it's only possible to develop EAS for a regular like that.

I've had 2 regulars in the past who were so good I started seeing them frequently.  I soon found their services turning colder and, looking back in hindsight, I think they were worried I was developing EAS (correctly, in one case).   I still see them, but much less frequently and always let them know I see plenty of other SP's.  The meets are much more relaxed now and always good quality.

[Home Alone]

The reinvigoration of this thread lately prompted me for the first time in a while to see if she for whom I had EAS was still working. I hadn't checked her AW feedback for some time - you could easily check which poor beggars she'd got as 'EAS punters' by the way their feedback was worded 

When I searched and found no trace of her on AW for the first time since 2011, it was a strangely satisfying moment.

[workinallweek]

I wonder if males get different levels of oxytocin hits which causes EAS.

There's no logic involved. Who wants to keep one chewed up sweet when in a sweet shop?

comfy slippers maybe

[workinallweek]

The reinvigoration of this thread lately prompted me for the first time in a while to see if she for whom I had EAS was still working. I hadn't checked her AW feedback for some time - you could easily check which poor beggars she'd got as 'EAS punters' by the way their feedback was worded 

When I searched and found no trace of her on AW for the first time since 2011, it was a strangely satisfying moment.

funnily enough  i can relate to that    . but if she was  would you book ?

[Home Alone]

NO way!!

Once I saw her for what she was, I was so-o-o angry at myself for the way I'd let her play me that I resolved never to see her again.

She had a short spell off AW at the time she accused me - wrongly - of having a 'free' session with her; but about a couple of months later, she texted my punting phone, apologising for the way she'd been with me  - if I remember rightly, she said she hadn't "been in a good place!"; yeah, right!! -:and floating the idea of meeting again. 🤔

I didn't reply; and within an hour, I had a text from the SP I'd been seeing - and enjoying more - at the same time as my fortnightly visits to the EAS SP, asking if I knew that the EAS SP's profile had reappeared on AW?! 

As seeing both of them was rapidly depleting my funds, it wasn't just emotional commonsense not to go back to the one who 'played' me; and stick with the one who'd marked my card. And yes, there may have been a bit of business sense on her part, but her 'Reward' was to fill the recently-created vacancy for my Regular.

Incidentally, on about the 2nd or 3rd visit to my new Regular after that, she was worried that I might be developing the same symptoms for her and left me in no doubt that if I did, she'd block me. I didn't so she remained my Regular until she retired from the 'Industry'.

[MrMatrix]

NO way!!

Once I saw her for what she was, I was so-o-o angry at myself for the way I'd let her play me that I resolved never to see her again.

She had a short spell off AW at the time she accused me - wrongly - of having a 'free' session with her; but about a couple of months later, she texted my punting phone, apologising for the way she'd been with me  - if I remember rightly, she said she hadn't "been in a good place!"; yeah, right!! -:and floating the idea of meeting again. 🤔

I didn't reply; and within an hour, I had a text from the SP I'd been seeing - and enjoying more - at the same time as my fortnightly visits to the EAS SP, asking if I knew that the EAS SP's profile had reappeared on AW?! 

As seeing both of them was rapidly depleting my funds, it wasn't just emotional commonsense not to go back to the one who 'played' me; and stick with the one who'd marked my card. And yes, there may have been a bit of business sense on her part, but her 'Reward' was to fill the recently-created vacancy for my Regular.

Incidentally, on about the 2nd or 3rd visit to my new Regular after that, she was worried that I might be developing the same symptoms for her and left me in no doubt that if I did, she'd block me. I didn't so she remained my Regular until she retired from the 'Industry'.

A big assumption on her part no doubt. 
I may have been tempted to say there are other SPs I can see, so dont worry

[workinallweek]

NO way!!

Once I saw her for what she was, I was so-o-o angry at myself for the way I'd let her play me that I resolved never to see her again.

She had a short spell off AW at the time she accused me - wrongly - of having a 'free' session with her; but about a couple of months later, she texted my punting phone, apologising for the way she'd been with me  - if I remember rightly, she said she hadn't "been in a good place!"; yeah, right!! -:and floating the idea of meeting again. 🤔

I didn't reply; and within an hour, I had a text from the SP I'd been seeing - and enjoying more - at the same time as my fortnightly visits to the EAS SP, asking if I knew that the EAS SP's profile had reappeared on AW?! 


yeh if you were being used i get it  i think only one ive had eas for used it to her advantage for a short time .

As seeing both of them was rapidly depleting my funds, it wasn't just emotional commonsense not to go back to the one who 'played' me; and stick with the one who'd marked my card. And yes, there may have been a bit of business sense on her part, but her 'Reward' was to fill the recently-created vacancy for my Regular.

Incidentally, on about the 2nd or 3rd visit to my new Regular after that, she was worried that I might be developing the same symptoms for her and left me in no doubt that if I did, she'd block me. I didn't so she remained my Regular until she retired from the 'Industry'.

[tynetunnel]

When I searched and found no trace of her on AW for the first time since 2011, it was a strangely satisfying moment.

I can imagine it was HA. For your sake I’m glad she has gone, and you can now draw a line under it once and for all 

[Home Alone]

Almost, tt. My only problem now is when League football resumes!

My journey from home to the football ground where my heart lies involves changing buses in the town where she lived & worked. And, afaik, still does.

Like me, she didn't drive, and Sod's Law almost predicts that I'll bump into her when changing buses. I haven't done so far; but who's to say I won't? 

[nervous1]

I've had this problem before and although I would never name her on here it's to her eternal credit that she started ignoring my booking requests.  At the time I obviously thought she was a bit of a cunt but time has shown she that she was merciful and professional.   Still on my HL and its sad that I lost a good SP but not her fault.  Some of them would bleed you dry in a situation like that, I've heard the Disney version from some WGs who do exactly that to some vulnerable punters.

Been thinking of another WG who I miss recently.  Its not EAS, but could easily be since shes so attractive and absolutely excels at GFE.  She just makes so much effort and has a lovely way with me.  She could wrap me round her wee finger if she wanted but ultimately its her professionalism that I remember the most.  I just think some of us have to experience EAS to fully appreciate good SPs in the future for what they are.

[Moysey]

Being a right ugly bugger the chances of any WG having EAS over me are significantly reduced 🤣

[tynetunnel]

Almost, tt. My only problem now is when League football resumes!

My journey from home to the football ground where my heart lies involves changing buses in the town where she lived & worked. And, afaik, still does.

Like me, she didn't drive, and Sod's Law almost predicts that I'll bump into her when changing buses. I haven't done so far; but who's to say I won't? 

There’s no way around that problem I guess, but the chances are slim enough. Have it in your mind how you would (or wouldn’t) react if you did see her, would be prudent I guess.

Or change football team allegiances.    

[Home Alone]

Being a right ugly bugger the chances of any WG having EAS over me are significantly reduced 🤣

Well, I'm certainly no oil painting so don't be so sure about that, Moysey.

My experience proves it's more to do with the SP's perception of the size of your wallet than either your appearance or the size of your tackle!

[Home Alone]

Or change football team allegiances.    

Wash your mouth out, sir!!

Is nothing sacred?!  

[Rick2468]

I've had EAS to some degree with a few WGs. The worst one was a girl called Belle who wasn't working for long. I booked her for an outcall for one hour and she ended up staying for 3 and told me loads of personal information like her real name (not Belle) and where she worked for her main job. She then called me one Friday night about 11pm and she sounded tipsy and she was asking how I was. Then she "accidently" text me and when I responded to say wrong number she asked me how I was. I did like her but I was really suspicious so I didn't respond. Then she text again a few weeks later saying she was in my area and if I wanted to meet for a drink. I was really suspicious and I had been heartbroken by my ex girlfriend badly so I never pursued it but to this day I still wonder sometimes whether she was interested or not. Whenever I walk past her place of work I always look in to see if she is there but never seen her!

I saw Laila (External Link/Members Only) a few months ago and she stayed in my head for a bit. Her eyes were just....wow. Sounds cheesy but her looking into my eyes with her exotic look still stays with me. But that was just lust rather than real feelings. Also had a bit of a thing for Jemma (External Link/Members Only) as she was hot and seemed a great laugh, the punt felt like I was having an hour of passion with a gf it was so naturally and she seemed to love it.

I had an obsession with Mistress Alexandra from 2005 to 2010 and used to subscribe to her website. I held off seeing her as she didn't offer any sexual services and didn't want to be teased by such a hot woman and not be able to shag her. I did eventually see her but unfortunately I didn't catch her in her prime lookswise (although she was still attractive). She did wank me off for a bit (I had to finish myself) and put my head between her boobs) which was awesome.

[Simon_9000]

I booked her for an outcall for one hour and she ended up staying for 3 and told me loads of personal information like her real name (not Belle) and where she worked for her main job.

I've had one do that to me too. Saw her a few times and very quickly knew her real name, her daughter's name, birthdays for both (probably looking for presents), where they lived .... 

[Jacques Barstarred]

Interesting observation GN. I wonder what JB will say about this

What do you want me to say?

Actually two reasons for the fanny famine. A chronic medical condition* and urgent debt priorities. Now both resolved earlier this year. And then lock down happens!

*Not ED

[Bonker]

Two of the best posts that I've read - one from marmalade and a very moving one with gambling addiction.

I've read the derision that WGs feel for any of us that show the slightest sign of EAS on their site. Hence, when I've finished I wash dress and straight out of the door. Put my mind on covering tracks and my next steps.

[Home Alone]

Two of the best posts that I've read - one from marmalade and a very moving one with gambling addiction.

I've read the derision that WGs feel for any of us that show the slightest sign of EAS on their site. Hence, when I've finished I wash dress and straight out of the door. Put my mind on covering tracks and my next steps.

I've only visited the Pink Site perhaps half a dozen times over the years and found it a particularly tedious site so I hadn't read that, Bonker. But, having been gullible enough to have succumbed to EAS, that doesn't surprise me. If you'll excuse the play on words, they see us coming.  

As Shakespeare once had King Lear say, "I am a foolish, fond old man."

[JonasG]

I've seen quite a few posts on SAAFE about what they think internally when a punter shows them they're into them. They are laughing their heads off at how sad said punter is, and essentially think they're scum really. Kind of a "you really think I'd be into you?" type of thing.

As said above always think about that before you think of showing a WG how you feel.

[ulstersubbie]

I've seen quite a few posts on SAAFE about what they think internally when a punter shows them they're into them. They are laughing their heads off at how sad said punter is, and essentially think they're scum really. Kind of a "you really think I'd be into you?" type of thing.

As said above always think about that before you think of showing a WG how you feel.

Sensible post, hopefully more punters will take note in the future.

[MrMatrix]

I've seen quite a few posts on SAAFE about what they think internally when a punter shows them they're into them. They are laughing their heads off at how sad said punter is, and essentially think they're scum really. Kind of a "you really think I'd be into you?" type of thing.

As said above always think about that before you think of showing a WG how you feel.

So true. As Ulstersubbie says "a sensible post".

[Home Alone]

So true. As Ulstersubbie says "a sensible post".

Reminding us - lest we forget - that we're buying, and the SPs are selling, a fantasy.

Which may be why there are threads on here at the moment about, e.g, Maids and Nurses.

[Mr_Shins]

There is a difference between EAS and building up a rapport with the woman such that you and she talk about life in general and don't simply get down to the physical act.

EAS is far more likely to happen with "arrangements", which kind of invites the boundary crossing, than it is with a straightforward advertised service on a site where you pay the advertised rate every time you meet her.

.

[Mr_Shins]

I've seen quite a few posts on SAAFE about what they think internally when a punter shows them they're into them. They are laughing their heads off at how sad said punter is, and essentially think they're scum really. Kind of a "you really think I'd be into you?" type of thing.

As said above always think about that before you think of showing a WG how you feel.

Can be partly the escort's fault for crossing boundaries a bit too much. And if the escort has got into a relationship with a client before (and you know about it) you think you are a viable contender too.

[Home Alone]

Can be partly the escort's fault for crossing boundaries a bit too much. And if the escort has got into a relationship with a client before (and you know about it) you think you are a viable contender too.

Call me an old cynic if you like; but, having been there, had that done to me and almost bought the tee-shirt, I suspect that 99% of SPs who see gullible clients like me with EAS for them as cash cows to be milked as often as possible.

[RandomGuy99]

Can be partly the escort's fault for crossing boundaries a bit too much. And if the escort has got into a relationship with a client before (and you know about it) you think you are a viable contender too.

But most of us don't want to get into a relationship with an SP.

We see SPs for sex not for any emotional tie. We treat each other with respect and try to enjoy our time together.  We both get what we want out of the booking (SP - money, punter - sex) and if we were both ok with it then we might arrange another meeting.  We want it simple and trouble free. 

We turn up clean and respectful, we pays our money, we do our thing and we fuck off.

[JonasG]

But most of us don't want to get into a relationship with an SP.

We see SPs for sex not for any emotional tie. We treat each other with respect and try to enjoy our time together.  We both get what we want out of the booking (SP - money, punter - sex) and if we were both ok with it then we might arrange another meeting.  We want it simple and trouble free. 

We turn up clean and respectful, we pays our money, we do our thing and we fuck off.

👍

[ulstersubbie]

But most of us don't want to get into a relationship with an SP.

Exactly!   

[WASA38]

Latest bulletin on BBC website :

Coronavirus: Single people can stay the night with loved ones, PM says.

I suspect that shouldn't permit an overnighter with an escort for whom the single person has developed EAS but cannot see that it is specifically excluded.

[winkywanky]

Interesting development...I can see he feels he needs to get people back onside 

[Home Alone]

Interesting development...I can see he feels he needs to get people back onside 

Yep; irrespective of the second wave which is inevitably bound to hit us, that's Boris all over.

The, 'erm, 'object of my affections' is due to have a CV19 test tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the results!!

[Mr_Shins]

I am technically allowed to add myself to one person's circle, so if I choose that person to be Melysa then it's ok. (Not that I have EAS with her).

[winkywanky]

Yep; irrespective of the second wave which is inevitably bound to hit us, that's Boris all over.

The, 'erm, 'object of my affections' is due to have a CV19 test tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the results!!

Make sure you're first in after she gets the (hopefully negative) result then HA, yer dirty ol' bugger 

[Home Alone]

It was; and I did!

[winkywanky]

Be sure to log on if you develop a sudden cough, we'll make sure you get looked after 

[rbtgrr]

There’s no way around that problem I guess, but the chances are slim enough. Have it in your mind how you would (or wouldn’t) react if you did see her, would be prudent I guess.

Or change football team allegiances.    

You can change nearly everything in life; your job, your house, your car or your partner.
You cannot chnge your football team allegiances, unless you are a sociopath.

[Marvelous]

Funny thing is the only girls i walk out feeling a little bit off "did she actually like me" from, that make me feel a bit special.. very easy to talk to... opened up to me.. felt like a genuine connection... different from the others. I look at her reviews on here or the other shite site... yup you guessed it seems like every other bloke felt the same way. :lol

The day i get one off these hard nosed, straight faced poker bitches with solid negatives on here make me feel like "did she actually like me" will be the day i believe i am the special prince she been looking/waiting for to save her Cinderella arse.

[ukeros]

Just got back from 2 nights away with the Pro Dominatrix I've written about previously.  And this is only place I can really write about fully with regards to what happened

Hadn't seen her since February due to lockdown and my emotions were all over the place - basically wanting/fantasising about a relationship with her despite the fact she lives in Poland and currently has a boyfriend, thinking that if she were single she'd be interested in me.

Anyway, as soon as EU opened its borders I was ready to fly to her.  She said she wanted to go away together "to film (for her onlyfans) and to have fun".

She arrived on Wednesday evening and we went out for dinner/drinks, then she pegged me in the toilet of a nightclub (she likes filming public clips with me), we danced and drank a little bit, did some coke then went back to hotel.  Plan was to wake up early on Thursday for more filming but we stayed out later than normal so got up a few hours later.

Filmed more strapon clips in hotel room and on hotel room terrace despite the outdoor pool area being directly above us.  Then went to the beach to film a strapon scene there, somehow pulled that off.

Got ready for dinner, plan was to party properly tonight.  Ended up back at the same club as the first night, on the way out she was chatting to 3 random birds and I invited them back to our hotel suite for an afterparty.  Was a Spanish bird, a Portugese and a Cuban - none of them spoke English.

They get back to our room, and saw the various dildos laying around.  My friend isn't shy about telling people she's a Domme or that I'm her sub, it quickly turned rowdy with them stripping me and taking it in turns to peg me.  I went down on the Spanish chick whilst I was getting pegged, I also went down on my Domme which is the most intimate we've been.  Then the Cuban bird turned out to be a transsexual and I ended up giving her oral. (I've seen many TS escorts and I know my Domme likes the idea of watching me suck actual dick)

Two of the random girls went to find their car, the TS stayed and I sucked her off some more and let her peg me.

By this time it was 7am-ish, she left and it was just me and my Domme.  She went to bed and I slept as normal on the sofa.

Looking back it was obviously a totally crazy, wild and spontaneous 5-some which happened, there was lots of alcohol and drugs and I was totally in the moment - but I do feel some regret that I never took the initiative to try and get my cock in any of them, or went down on my Domme for longer.  I think the Spanish bird I was going down on came, but I am not sure if my Domme did.  If I could replay it then I'd have given her more attention to try and take things further.  But I guess looking back I shouldn't dwell on what didn't happen - because I basically had an unplanned spontaneous 5-some

 ANYWAY, having been on lockdown for 5 months without her and just with my thoughts/feelings/emotions I wanted to ask her something along the lines of "what am I to you" or "am i an idiot for thinking if you were single and we lived in same city something could develop further"

Over dinner she told me that her BF was no longer her slave, she previously spoke about him and her previousl relationships being 24/7 femdom led relationships.  She had told me that in December that she broke up with him for a few months because he wasn't submissive enough and didn't look after himself, so he went away and became more submissive and was now the "perfect slave and partner"

Now she told me that he wasn't really submissive to begin with, he just pretended to be to win her and now that she had some feelings for him she was ok with that.  But she also told me she didn't really love him, or was expecting after 12 months to have had more moments were she felt in love with him.  Despite telling me in February that she loved him

I'm not sure of my feelings to her, we obviously have chemistry - she described me as charismatic and fun.  I even told her I'm an introvert that needs alcohol/drugs to feel social and she disagreed with that.  (although I guess considering that she knows my deepest/darkest fanatasies there's no point being repressed/shy/anxious around her)

She has previously told me that her BF was "very jealous about you, because he knows I like you and is worried I will get carried away" - well that did happen

I'm honestly not sure of my feelings towards her.  Yes she's super hot, yes we film great content together but she's exceptionally demanding  -it was a bit of a struggle to find suitable restaurants that met all her requirements - food, location, view, distance and it was never long before she was moaning about it being too far to walk, or she decides on one restaurant, book a table, take taxi there and she decides she doesn't like menu anyway

I've previously said to her I don't know if I could handle it, it being a 24/7 femdom relationship and now I'm especially not sure I could put up with her on a full time basis. 

I can't remember exactly what caused it, but after we came out the restaurant she said "if we were in relationship I was already thinking about betraying you because of that argument".

I've previously said online and to her on this trip that she is a volcano, a roller-coaster and that nobody rides roller-coasters every day.  I've also said I'm aware of the multiple red flags and nothings changed since the trip.

She wants me to visit her next month for more filming and a fetish party, and I'll go for sure.

I guess my current headspace is "is she really the girl for me" and "did I miss my opportunity"

As ever outside perspective welcomed

[king tarzan]

  get a life!!!

[daviemac]

get a life!!!

Yes you should instead of trolling on here. 

[king tarzan]

Yes you should instead of trolling on here.

point taken 

[Payyourwaymate]

Just got back from 2 nights away with the Pro Dominatrix I've written about previously.  And this is only place I can really write about fully with regards to what happened.....



I guess my current headspace is "is she really the girl for me" and "did I miss my opportunity"

As ever outside perspective welcomed

Are you sure you should not ask for advice on one of those dom/sub forums?  You basically got gangbanged by chicks with dildos and a TS and are emotionally tied to one of the doms that pegged you senseless. You never stated if you paid for this experience of not, that is one key aspect of this. I think she's probably just using you and you've said you are aware of the multiple red flags but are still choosing to proceed, I'm not sure if you came looking for advice or just wanted to share your experience. Thanks for doing so, I never there were guys prepared to do such things. Good luck.

[king tarzan]

Are you sure you should not ask for advice on one of those dom/sub forums?  You basically got gangbanged by chicks with dildos and a TS and are emotionally tied to one of the doms that pegged you senseless. You never stated if you paid for this experience of not, that is one key aspect of this. I think she's probably just using you and you've said you are aware of the multiple red flags but are still choosing to proceed, I'm not sure if you came looking for advice or just wanted to share your experience. Thanks for doing so, I never there were guys prepared to do such things. Good luck.

it is simple in life.. open your ass to the world and it will be abused... simpletto...

[whiskyfan]

it is simple in life.. open your ass to the world and it will be abused... simpletto...

Always knew you took it up the arse KT.

[king tarzan]

Always knew you took it up the arse KT.

not everyone is like you

[ukeros]

Are you sure you should not ask for advice on one of those dom/sub forums?

I have posted about it on other sites, yeah

You basically got gangbanged by chicks with dildos and a TS and are emotionally tied to one of the doms that pegged you senseless.

I've had submissive urges since I first saw Lena Headey playing a Dominatrix on Band of Gold, and I can actually remember being attracted to powerful female figures like Catwoman as a child.  I've been seeing Dominatrixes and TS escorts on and off my entire adult life.

  You never stated if you paid for this experience of not

I paid for 2 nights in hotel and offered to pay for her flights too but she paid me back.  I never paid any money to her for her "time" and the hours of filming we did together, or the two nights out. 

The "gangbang" was totally spontaneous and unplanned, as said it was 3 random girls, none of whom spoke English that I invited back for an afterparty. - and yes it was unpaid

  I think she's probably just using you

The fact she paid for her own flights suggests otherwise. 

And as explained, I've always felt there was a mutual attraction chemistry and she has stated numerous times to me that "there was an instant chemistry in our first session", that her BF was "worried I'll get carried away because he knows I like you" and she told me of the three regular subs/slaves that she has a connection too that I was her favourite - the other two both live in her home Country, one apparently is very loyal but not very intelligent, and the other is fat, ugly and has a micro-penis

The fact that she let me go down on her, despite it being in the heat of an alcohol/drug fuelled spontaneous "gangbang" just further reinforces my belief that there is some degree of mutual attraction - what else am I meant to read into that?


 

and you've said you are aware of the multiple red flags but are still choosing to proceed

She's super hot, 13 years younger than me, is super kinky, we look amazing together and despite being a pro Dominatrix and having a BF is willing to suggest and travel trips abroad to spend time with me "to film and to have fun"

The "red flags and proceeding" refers to any potential romantic relationship.  Currently I'm proceeding with being a regular client/trusted film slave/friend that gets to party and film with her for free.

Pre this trip I was obsessing about a relationship with her despite the red flags of her being an emotional volcano/roller coaster.  During this trip I've seen how demanding she can be and I'm not sure I could put up with it full time.

There was one moment where she wanted me to do her trainers up and as I was knelt down she stepped on my toes and dirtied a brand new pair of Nikes, that pissed me off tbh



EDIT: why is this message waiting pre-approval?