The Benefits of Punting for the Married Man

[Marmalade]

As some married men sometimes have all sorts of issues, let's see what we can contribute to throw some light or moral support punting for married men.
Perhaps the thread could even serve a need in a healthy way. Married men do under particular pressures that single guys don't. So ideas and tips from experience or common sense, from single guys of married guys. (We've done punting phones.)

First off, if you are still in the 'honeymoon phase', then clearly you don't need any other sexual relief. Some men may have reached a point of no interest in sex but they are probably not ones reading this forum.

Punting for the married (or deeply attached) male helps to establish a sense of balance.
I strongly believe it is a quite sensible idea to fuck whores when you are married. (As long as you are very careful to avoid disease.)

Look at the dynamics.

Maybe the man got married as a result of his hormones. Maybe the sex and the fact that she seemed "pretty decent" kicked in. Then after a bit the exact same hormones aren't kicking around in exactly the same way. There might be some side benefits, such as cooking for him, raising his children, tidying the house or, especially if she's working, some tax benefits: but nothing that crucial in most cases that he couldn't be doing it himself.

The woman's instinct comes from a different set of hormones, or at least a very different balance. But ...
(And I use 'male' and 'female' in a fairly overall sense. (not like the Kora!) A couple of gay lads can equally have what is psychologically the same situation as described; or in some cases complete role reversal between a man and a woman occurs.)

... basically, the feminine instinct is to mother, either in the sense of having children or, if this is subverted, into some other mothering instinct. To do this, the service of a man is exceedingly useful and desirable.

Either sex can become (often unwittingly) adept at "controlling" the other (not particularly healthy, but not necessarily without the best of intentions. Some women or men may even like to be controlled (All very Venus in Furs if you like reading.) Women tend to do it by subtle emotional blackmail (which the man calls "her genuine feelings") and the man by economic or physical superiority. It is no longer attraction, it is negotiation.

There's no quick solution, but what there is a solution for is regaining a sense of balance. Marriage usually results in a loss of the sense of individuality. Many people, eve after the break up of a serious relationship, feel they knok longer 'know who they are.' They identify as part of the 'couple' and have difficulty in defining their own unique sense of self. The additional downside of this is that it increases exponentially. You soon end up having no real sense of "self" to fuck your partner. You have "become one" (a 'lovely' post-orgasmic feeling: not so useful for getting going before sex!) The bonding oxytocins have got a bit out of control.

This is equivalent of worship. One sees the other person as the highest ideal in one's world even if you no longer feel 'in love.'
The other extreme is 'in hate' and seeing a prossie helps to modify such an equally horrible emotion so you are less likely to take it out on yoru O/H.

Wen you fuck another woman, even if you don't have much in the way of 'feelings' for her, provides an opportunity to identify yourself as a sexual being without identifying with your wife. Consequently you may even feel more inclined to fuck -- or at least be interactive in a wholesome masculine way -- with the O/H.

It's not a moral thing. It's not like you are fucking your wife every day. You don't own each other. Either party is free to spread their wings a bit while remaining committed to teh marriage (if that is what you both want). Would you mind if she had a male whore? A no-strings, no-embarrassment, no-stds fuck-on-the-side? And would you want to know? Would she realy want to know what you do in yoru private time (apart from having an overdose of control-freakery).

Love, fuck, enjoy. Not necessarily at the same time. For instance: Run on the beach for the love of it. Run for the bus for need. Run at the gym top keep fit and just enjoy the exercise.

(As a codicil I can say I've had a few affairs with married women and one extra maital when I was married myself. In one of the affairs, the woman renewed her love of life and settled down happily with hubby and is still fucking him and making babaies. In the other she left her husband, and I think the affair beforehand simply helped to soften it emotionally as she was clearly going to leave him anyway.)

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[Marmalade]

Bring on the good whores!

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Shhhhhhh    

Be nice to your old lady   

Then get out and fuck some fanny!

[Rod trotter]

Can i ask

What the fuck are you asking 

[Jumping Jack Flash]

I gave up reading that half way through.

[claretandblue]

Some married men punt because they aren't getting enough /any at home while others,like me,just like shagging lots of different women,it really is no more complicated than that

[smiths]

Some married men punt because they aren't getting enough /any at home while others,like me,just like shagging lots of different women,it really is no more complicated than that

Yes same here though I am not married, never have been and never will be doing so, I have partners though.

One woman cant offer me what I want and desire so I choose to either punt or have affairs, punting is easier assuming the punt is good as all I need is the cash, having an affair can involve emotions that can get out of hand from the womans point of view, a couple have gone bunny boiler on me. This has meant I have been closer to getting caught out having an affair than I ever have punting.

It greatly helps to be selfish without guilt putting myself first ii have found, I want my cake and to eat it and have done so all my adult life, I wont be stopping anytime soon.

[ickydicky]

the reason why a married man fucks  hoors is the same as why an unmarried man fucks hoors. variety

[ClarkeOfTheCourse]

The original post was TLDR but I can say that punting has helped keep the family together and saved the expense and upheaval of a divorce now the wife's interest in sex has dropped to almost zero. It's a shame I'm the one having to do the sneaking around.

[rogercock00]

The original post was TLDR but I can say that punting has helped keep the family together and saved the expense and upheaval of a divorce now the wife's interest in sex has dropped to almost zero. It's a shame I'm the one having to do the sneaking around.

Yes, punting meets the desire without having the need to go on the likes of POF, have an affair, expensive divorce etc. It actually saves a lot of marriages in my view.

[RedKettle]

it is tempting to say that sometimes we over think things - the benefit is sex!

After that it is a lottery depending on personal circumstances, some of us will say that it has helped keep a marriage intact that it (apart for the lack of sex) pretty good.  Others will have been found out and suffered the consequences! 

[momochan]

Now that i dont have to fight over sex with missus , i can afford to be more generous to her both emotionally and financely 

ie when you dont get it at home u become miserable and when you get hot sex from whores , you calm down and become a better person 

[RedKettle]

Now that i dont have to fight over sex with missus , i can afford to be more generous to her both emotionally and financely 

ie when you dont get it at home u become miserable and when you get hot sex from whores , you calm down and become a better person 

that is so true - although it makes you wonder whether they ever think "he is not getting it here, he is not repeatedly asking for it as he used to - is he getting it elsewhere??!!"

Maybe we should add to all those security threads - keep on trying to get it from the OH!!!!

[ickydicky]

that is so true - although it makes you wonder whether they ever think "he is not getting it here, he is not repeatedly asking for it as he used to - is he getting it elsewhere??!!"

Maybe we should add to all those security threads - keep on trying to get it from the OH!!!!

thats a very good bit of advice to all those with oh

[Marmalade]

Maybe we should add to all those security threads - keep on trying to get it from the OH!!!!

Great tip! Plus it allows for doing it in a non-needy way, more flirtatious, just making her feel attractive. Another example of keeping her happy out of sheer efficiency.
The classic rejoinder of course is, don't over do it. All those movie scenes where he suddenly buys her a big bunch of roses and she thinks, "What's he trying to hide?"

[ickydicky]

Great tip! Plus it allows for doing it in a non-needy way, more flirtatious, just making her feel attractive. Another example of keeping her happy out of sheer efficiency.
The classic rejoinder of course is, don't over do it. All those movie scenes where he suddenly buys her a big bunch of roses and she thinks, "What's he trying to hide?"

 

[time2play]

It makes me feel quite excited in a way I don't get in any other walk life. I think I'm less grouchy knowing I can get laid without the pestering for it so in that way I'm a better hubbie. Don't feel the guilt either which is a bonus, probably because emotionally it's just a transaction for me. The only downside is knowing that some of these women are probably quite desperate. But i don't think it's very different from taking any unpopular job for the money.

[Marmalade]

Something I've noticed in my long term ('O/H') relationships in the past is a change in attitude which to an extent becomes good, but also very limiting! It happens when the honeymoon sensation of lust (ok, caring, nicely expressed lust, but still lust) when that lust gives way to 'friendship.' Now I can be a best friend to an OH when she needs it, but this is not a basis, it is just an 'as needed.'

We want women mostly to bloody well act like women (ok, not in the workplace etc, or with 'pals', but mostly). And contrary to what they often say, women basically like men acting as men.
When the 'friendship' (oxytocin neurochemical) becomes strong or too strong, the man loses his good sense of 'macho', his voice loses the deep, seductive quality, and his confidence tends to be reduced a bit (testosterone level tends to drop in males in long-term relationships).
What's more...
Women mostly like men to bloody well act like men, even if they do whomp on about 'friendship' and being respected 'as a person' (ie sexually 'neutered').

This comes fairly naturally in a civvy chat-up scenario (at least a successful one). The man is ready to have the hots for her the minute she suggests she's going to drop her knickers.
Prossies to an extent (and it has to be said, wives) tend to reduce this to a begging attitude on the part of the man. He easily becomes a 'fluffie', worshipping women, nervous, feels harassed by her constant demands, tries to please her in any way possible or else switches off and ignores her. If I ever get stuck being 'friendly', when I ought to be working out how to kamasutra every fucking hole on her body and exploding inside her as she sweats and shakes the earth with my enormous cock pumping the living dayiights into her and out of her, if I ever forget that, I just treat it like a role play until I get back in the swing.

Flirting with your wife even if you don't mean it (or she doesn't intend to let you fuck her) is still good patter. It keeps you in shape, amuses her, makes her feel wanted and all that crap, valued etc etc, and keeps you in shape mentally for fucking.
Flirting with a prossie is just pretend. But same technique. Relaxed body language, deeper voice, eyeing her up in a way that says she's attractive (even if she's a bit of pig).

Women tend to be very happy when they have a slave and the world revolves around them. (Nurturing, bring home food to cave, provide safety to infants): but that primal instinct is overdone. Women today have similar powers as men. Prossies often get paid a fuck of a lot more. That can turn out too bloody expensive, life-ruiningly expensive! They forget that it is the ideal in womanhood that we adore, not the individual (that is often unfortunately a bit short of the idea!) Once they realise that they can get uppity. So best tactic for anyone trapped in the situation is to brazenly sing the song but with a wink. Let her take it as a nice joke or fall for it as a compliment, who the fuck cares, if you're happy and she's happy, she's more likely to let you do your thing (either with her or feel that you like her so much she ain't thinking about whether you are shagging the wee tart off Adultwork!!)

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Now I know rap is not everyone's cup of tea but I was just watching Tinie Tempeh's new vid and thinking how well he portrays some great qualities (even if it is black gangsta, underlying principles the same). External Link/Members Only
He thinks he's great
He smiles a lot
He makes the sort of innuendo girls like ("I could make a honey give away your last rolo" or "get low, as his eyes go momentarily quickly down to her ass
.......did she object and think he said 'your' rolo (meaning her cunt) oooo no, maybe it was 'her' rolo haha no offence
Unshakeable self-confidence
Not too-serious sounding when he's boasting about how great he is
Makes it about him but him in the sense of someone the girls want
He knows "what girls want" : (mostly to do with his image)
Women (who like to be called girls etc) know that he knows what they want and they are fucking proud of it (they like being a woman)

Another great thing is that it is sexy and completely non-sexist: I could re-write this post but saying the same from a woman's point of view, like the girls that reafirm his song but with their meanings.

[HappyandLucky]

I gave up reading that half way through.

+1

[Marmalade]

+1

but you found time to plus one -- jimmy doesn't read any of my posts that have more than three sentences -- that's ok. 

[shagbambi]

Maintaining sanity!

[Marmalade]

Why is it when a woman refuses sex men are 'expected' to say ok and feel fine; but when a man refuses sex the woman feels rejected dejected unattractive? Men seem to get their act together a little better. 

[webpunter]

the reason why a married man fucks  hoors is the same as why an unmarried man fucks hoors. variety

I agree
However a married man [MM] is more likely to shag hoors given other criteria.  For example time available [to get a shag] & chances of getting caught.  For a MM shagging civvies will end in disaster at some point in time.  Note use of the word WILL.  They'll make a mistake or the civvie will get all clingy & help this along.  Lots of ways they can do this.  Shagging hoors is much much safer
An unmarried man [UM] on the other hand can shag both hoors & civvies whenever he chooses, pretty much
A MM will generally feel less guilty shagging a hoor than a civvie.  In part brought on by thinking about the risks of getting caught.  A MM thinking about getting caught will feel scared.  This leads to fear.  And fear leads to guilt
There will be some form of relationship established in shagging a civvie.  Unless a one-off.  There has to be some connection, no matter slight, if only to get the civvie back into bed.  This again leads to guilt.  Shagging hoors is 'connection' free
Having just a BJ / HJ will be viewed by many MM as not being unfaithful.  Although i doubt if their OH's will feel the same.  Perhaps a HJ when on a stag do is just about acceptable.  Not one to test out tho 
Just a couple of the [many] differences

[webpunter]

Why is it when a woman refuses sex men are 'expected' to say ok and feel fine; but when a man refuses sex the woman feels rejected dejected unattractive? Men seem to get their act together a little better. 

Supposedly:
Women need to feel loved to have sex [apart from a small % of open minded sexed up burds who just love it]
Men need to have sex to feel loved [not applicable with hoors ..]

[mf_1101]

This does lead me to a thought about marriage in general, it seems to be a morally accepted part of our society that we should get married and legally bind oneself to one person then risk being financially fucked in the arsehole. But it is also morally accepted that Western relationships should be Monogamous - So whilst man and women can live together, support eachother, and have an emotional attachment to eachother, they can't fuck other people? When a women loses interest in sex (in vast majority of marriages/LT relationships it is the women) lets say aged 40 they expect their man to go the next 30 years until he loses interest without having sex?

I read on Mumsnet about what they consider cheating, one person posted they consider someone watching Porn having a wank cheating???? 

Men and Women are just different, I don't think we're ever meant to go through life with one sexual partner/one person, we seemed to have invented this rule to spare feelings, except now if you do it you can lose your house/kids/half your money for it.

[smiths]

This does lead me to a thought about marriage in general, it seems to be a morally accepted part of our society that we should get married and legally bind oneself to one person then risk being financially fucked in the arsehole. But it is also morally accepted that Western relationships should be Monogamous - So whilst man and women can live together, support eachother, and have an emotional attachment to eachother, they can't fuck other people? When a women loses interest in sex (in vast majority of marriages/LT relationships it is the women) lets say aged 40 they expect their man to go the next 30 years until he loses interest without having sex?

I read on Mumsnet about what they consider cheating, one person posted they consider someone watching Porn having a wank cheating???? 

Men and Women are just different, I don't think we're ever meant to go through life with one sexual partner/one person, we seemed to have invented this rule to spare feelings, except now if you do it you can lose your house/kids/half your money for it.

Indeed, though if a couple did go through life only fucking each other good luck to them. People having relationships now including same sex ones, settling down, having kids and/or pets, getting a place together and tying themselves to credit arrangements like Mortgages suits Governments of all colours here as these people are less likely to cause trouble, commit crime and be good boys and girls and be sheep which ultimately is what Government wants people to be.

Punting gives people another option, sex without strings for cash, this doesn't suit Government or obviously the femi-nazis who see this as taking their power away and why they fight so hard to do all they can to stop punting, including wanting to criminalise all punters here. Them and Government is why punting is unlikely to even be decriminalised let alone legalised anytime soon, with the Nordic model or similar sadly more likely. Though my bet is the present set-up is the most likely thing that will simply continue, at least in the short to medium term where street prostitution and kerb crawling are crimes as is running a brothel but the top cops in any given area decide whether to enforce these laws or not, and when to do so.

[Mr_Shins]

My "attraction" to women though comes from passing them in the street or seeing them in the office, where they are fully dressed and don't wear silly outfits, and when I punt I want to see my women dressed that way too.

Remember I myself am mostly into kinky / fetish activities which are often classified as BDSM but the BDSM scene itself seems to go for certain images that don't appeal to me.

I was punting during my marriage. During most of it, in fact, but have only had actual sex with one WG during the entire time (3 times with the same one) and that was after separation.

For me the benefit was not to get sex because I could get that in the marriage, but to get the activities my wife would not support or would not willingly support, even if she did participate for my sake.

[joe diddley]

One benefit is that I now have zero interest in having an affair. I didn't have any before punting but now I'm not even remotely interested.

[RedKettle]

One benefit is that I now have zero interest in having an affair. I didn't have any before punting but now I'm not even remotely interested.

I agree with this, pretty sure I would not have had an affair but being able to get the physical stuff with WGs does make it easier to avoid going down that route.  In my opinion an affair poses a much higher risk to the marriage than WGs where it is a clear business transaction.

[od13218]

I agree with this, pretty sure I would not have had an affair but being able to get the physical stuff with WGs does make it easier to avoid going down that route.  In my opinion an affair poses a much higher risk to the marriage than WGs where it is a clear business transaction.

+1
Fairly sure I would have had an affair by now if it wasn't for punting. Simple, no-strings solution to men's needs which frankly makes me a better husband and family man as I'm not constantly fixated on when I'm next going to get a shag.

[webpunter]

+1
Fairly sure I would have had an affair by now if it wasn't for punting. Simple, no-strings solution to men's needs which frankly makes me a better husband and family man as I'm not constantly fixated on when I'm next going to get a shag.

I would add the word 'too' between 'constantly' and ''fixated'.  That's coz your know you've got it pretty much on tap

Agree on the previous comments about feminazis.  I reck lots of them have let themselves go [& probably didn't look that good in their prime either].  Not a surprise that they take such an anti-punting stance.  I feel sorry for their OH's.  At least some of the poor geezers will have some fun on AW.  And perhaps a few on here - the OH being on Mnet & the geezer on UKP.  At the same time on their tablets in different rooms perhaps ? 

[Marmalade]

"Freedom to shag" is what most women fear. It was ok in the sixties cos men and women would do it more freely. That culture has disappeared except for some youngsters who indulge. But the reality now is that with prossie availability men can indulge and women wish they could. A woman renting a gigolo or toyboy is not as mainstream as a man renting a prossie (plus it would for her underline the disparity). So basically they want to "own" a man.

From the man's point of view, the woman's tendency to "own" is less dangerous in a prostitute. She's paid to fuck and fuck off. A civvie-on-the-side is more likely to turn into a bunny-boiler (just 'more likely' though neither is a rule). And also more of a threat to wifeywoman.

So to the ladies, secretly logging on to UKP: the world is not fair. That's the way it is. Your wonderful husband didn't create it that way. He probably earns more than you, and wants/needs can get more sex than you. Don't hate him for it or destroy what you've got by playing a flakey Sherley flippin' Holmes. Appreciate that even if you don't own him, he's there for you.

I think men who shag prossies are being pretty decent to their O/Hs overall. 

[Marmalade]

Of course, OHs do have their uses (apart from the possibilities of sex and offering their paps to infants). One I've noticed is helping the man not to be a slob. Usually seems to happen half way between 'honeymoon' phase and 'mere friendly toleration' stage. Most decent women will come forth with things like keep your nails clean and trim the hairs coming out of our nostrils, or correcting awful dress sense and obnoxious habits that other men just ignore. Any man that hasn't had at least a medium term relationship doing this should maybe read a good book on it.

On the other hand, a man that keeps himself freshly clean and presentable will often make the other half pleased (ie off his back), even if she ain't shagging him. Just putting on a nice shirt as part of a pre-punt routine before "going to the gym" will not quite cut it unless she's thick as shit. 

If you can have a reasonable excuse with your work that computers of phones containing work files have to be locked 'for contractual security reasons' it's possibly better than hiding a second phone or password protected ipad continuously. Always think "Why would I be doing this 'legitimately' if there's a chance she is at or will get to The 'Nosey Cunt' Stage. 

[joe diddley]

And now because I'm getting so much more good sex and I'm therefore less interested in other civvy women, it seems I exude some kind of subliminal sexual confidence that other women seem to go for in spite of the fact that I'm by no stretch of the imagination an Adonis, Pitt or Clooney. Women are anything if not contrary and they seem to go for men who seem unattainable.