I have myself to blame (mostly)
Hour to kill, tired, insanely horny and wanting instant gratification, brain malfunctioning as a result
Typed 'london', 'city of westminster', 'escorts', 'incall' and 'tits' into the AW search parameters
'Big tits Amy' was one of the few results that popped up
Tits big, looked ok in the pics, made the booking
Thursday 19 May, 12:30 noonBooking:
1 hour incallLocation:
One of those typically crappy yet vastly overpriced flats in sprawling blocks close to euston/warren street tubesGirl:
Similar to pics except uglier in person and with a gut that'd make Bernard Manning envious
So why the fuck didnt I walk ?
Very good question
Been asking myself the same question ever since
See above: horny, tired, brain malfunctioningThe meet:
I was horny and in a rush and had no plan B, so after seeing her I just thought, "fuck it, I'll just get a happy ending and a massage"
The dedicated massage table in the corner of the room made me think this was probably the best and most practical solution to elicit the required orgasm
Her massage technique was like every other aspect of her 'service'
Performing the same listless motion, distractedly, with no variation, no attempt at even feigned sensuality, with a bored expression, sighing every so often and offering little to no conversation
I then said, "how about some oral", based on her AW reviews she was allegedly good at this
Her reply, "no, you're covered in oil.....not good" (due to previous award winning 'worst and dullest massage performed by fattest most bored looking masseuse in London 2016")
I just couldnt be arsed to argue
I opted for hand relief
Same as above, and would get tired after a few minutes and then stop, sighing, looking and acting bored, would then start again, with no variation, then stop, tired, start again, stop....yawn
After a while she said "now you do...I tired"
You get the picture
She also clockwatched throughout
So, to sum up, 45 minutes into a 1 hour booking she gives up, no apology, very little effort, I give up, take a shower then leave, no orgasm, hour 'killed' (stone dead)Price paid:
Summary: I may as well have gone home and then flushed four £20 notes down the toilet whilst attempting to whack off to Jabba The Hutt clips on youtubeRecommended ?
- You must be joking
Avoid this vast, unsightly sack of lazy, clockwatching Hungarian lard
(As if you needed to be told)
Definitely one of those "what the fuck was I thinking moments ???!"