Passions massage parlour - Manchester - truly dreadful

[webpunter]

When:           not long ago.  But not enuf to forget
Where:          great ancoats st
Website:        thankfully they don't have one 
Time spent:    30 mins - no clock watching.  Think they were just happy to actually have a punter in the building.  With cash
How much:     40
The burd:       didn't ask her name [didn't want to - helps the memory fade].  EE.  Size 14, possibly 16.  The worst burd in my punting career.  Score out of 10 = 1 [i managed to get it over the line & she did try hard.  Otherwise a zero]
Services:        OW - with a bright red condom.  No way would i do OWO there.  Thankfully she got the nodder out sharpish so the option didn't arise.  Wasn't getting anywhere as it was very late & i was rat-arsed / tired, so finished up with baby oil tit-wank [floppy big bangers] & HJ
Positives:       somehow i managed to shoot my bolt.  The place was open in the early hours.  On reflection i wish it wasn't
Negatives:     here's a selection - shit hole location / building should be condemned & flattened / scum bag security who looked off his head / towels on radiators.  The list is endless
Recommend:  NO
Return:          not in a million years.  Would prefer to knock one out
Summary:      got what i deserved

[freeze44]

That does sound hateful! Thanks for the review....your description although clearly awful did make me laugh the way you wrote about it....sounds like something out of a nightmare!

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

When:           not long ago.  But not enuf to forget
Where:          great ancoats st
Website:        thankfully they don't have one 
Time spent:    30 mins - no clock watching.  Think they were just happy to actually have a punter in the building.  With cash
How much:     40
The burd:       didn't ask her name [didn't want to - helps the memory fade].  EE.  Size 14, possibly 16.  The worst burd in my punting career.  Score out of 10 = 1 [i managed to get it over the line & she did try hard.  Otherwise a zero]
Services:        OW - with a bright red condom.  No way would i do OWO there.  Thankfully she got the nodder out sharpish so the option didn't arise.  Wasn't getting anywhere as it was very late & i was rat-arsed / tired, so finished up with baby oil tit-wank [floppy big bangers] & HJ
Positives:       somehow i managed to shoot my bolt.  The place was open in the early hours.  On reflection i wish it wasn't
Negatives:     here's a selection - shit hole location / building should be condemned & flattened / scum bag security who looked off his head / towels on radiators.  The list is endless
Recommend:  NO
Return:          not in a million years.  Would prefer to knock one out
Summary:      got what i deserved

Fucking hilarious - in my mind she was Peter Kay as Geraldine, but worse!

[webpunter]

That does sound hateful!

OK i'll give the burd a 2/10.  For effort alone.  She was probably a 3-4 / 10 but the place was such a dump this meant a points deduction
She was wanking me like a trooper.  Had to change hands a few times when she got tired.  Writing the review brought a few flash-backs.  Thinking back i had to take over wanking duties - got her to tickle my balls whilst i furiously bashed the living daylights out of littleWP.  Finally when the sap was unbelievably rising i let her take over for the 'finale'.  Which was distinctly forgettable.  I would have been better buying a copy of Razzle & knocking one out   

[freeze44]

Wasn't being critical...meant a hateful experience....good job 'getting over the line'....deserve a medal or something for that!

[patrickdloch1980]

I also had a dreadful experience there,very unfriendly they just after the money, delighted to be out of there ,will never be back there

[Barclay Spank]

I've been there twice. Had a nice girl called Alex. Then one called Julia who didn't want to do much. Both were young and attractive.

[wilburs horse]

When:           not long ago.  But not enuf to forget
Where:          great ancoats st
Website:        thankfully they don't have one 
Time spent:    30 mins - no clock watching.  Think they were just happy to actually have a punter in the building.  With cash
How much:     40
The burd:       didn't ask her name [didn't want to - helps the memory fade].  EE.  Size 14, possibly 16.  The worst burd in my punting career.  Score out of 10 = 1 [i managed to get it over the line & she did try hard.  Otherwise a zero]
Services:        OW - with a bright red condom.  No way would i do OWO there.  Thankfully she got the nodder out sharpish so the option didn't arise.  Wasn't getting anywhere as it was very late & i was rat-arsed / tired, so finished up with baby oil tit-wank [floppy big bangers] & HJ
Positives:       somehow i managed to shoot my bolt.  The place was open in the early hours.  On reflection i wish it wasn't
Negatives:     here's a selection - shit hole location / building should be condemned & flattened / scum bag security who looked off his head / towels on radiators.  The list is endless
Recommend:  NO
Return:          not in a million years.  Would prefer to knock one out
Summary:      got what i deserved

So it was the early hours of the morning, you were rat arsed and tired? You expected a good service under those circumstances? I know passions is not the best place, even in the city centre but still

[MJ.spritzen]

So annoying when you get a shit punt where you have to resort to wanking yourself off.

Aside from that, your review was brilliant. You described my mums house perfectly.

[jikthesik]

Great review! really made me laugh

[webpunter]

Thanks MJ & JTS.  I knew it was going to be shit - but littleWP was in charge & i was desperate.  Suppose it was a laarf & its amused some UKPers

[webpunter]

So it was the early hours of the morning, you were rat arsed and tired? You expected a good service under those circumstances?

If you read my follow up post i upped her score.  Transport the burd to a passable venue & things would have been better.  A bit.  Hence i wrote 'got what i deserved'

I know passions is not the best place, even in the city centre but still

Are there worse places ? 

[wilburs horse]

Yes definitely.