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External Link/Members OnlyMany years ago when - quite young - I decided to pick up my first street walker I did that mostly to prove to myself I wasn't afraid of it, and in part for the experience. This is what I reminded myself the other day, when I found myself in the middle of an... unexpected session with "Angelina": when things didn't turn out as I hoped, and actually turned out as I feared, I said to myself "at least it's an experience: you tried, and you can say it's not for you". Not sure it helped: it took me a few days to get over the disappointment (or "disgust" if you prefer, because there was some of it I must admit).
When I booked Angelina I did it knowing full well that punting with Brazilians is dangerous ground, particularly when the voice on the phone is - yes - feminine, but on the deeper side of feminine voices. I guess you could have called it a warm tone, if you wanted to believe, and that's what I did.
This actually shows the mindset I got into when approaching this punt: I really wanted to believe that Angelina is a woman. And even now that I'm 90% sure she is not, I'm kind of clinging to that 10% as a way to reconcile myself with a memory which I find quite uncomfortable.
Angelina received me in a tiny flat in the infamous huge serviced apartment block near South Kensington where half of London prostitutes work (but she told me she would not stay there for long as she had rented a nice and big flat elsewhere). She was welcoming and friendly, and generally seems a pretty bubbly person, although I guess she would have a hard time expressing herself if you didn't speak to her in either Portuguese or Italian: she told me she is actively going to language classes, as her plan is to become an international escort. So far, she worked a few years in Italy, and the experience shows in her performance (although, sadly, not particularly in positive).
She offered me a shower and a clean towel, and I took one: I must say that by this point my initial concern she might be a trans had faded, as she seemed feminine, and the sight of her body wasn't bad: as her pictures show she has massive breasts, good curves and long legs. Her face is also pretty beautiful, with a bit of a mischievous look. Sure, she's 5'8, but there definitely are many women much taller than that.
Now, let me get to the main part of the review, and in particular the reasons why this is a negative.
Obviously, the fact that I ended up convinced she used to be a man has a big part in it. But that's not all: the performance in itself was very disappointing, and the profile has a bunch of lies on it (not just related to the "I'm a woman" thing).
One of the most massive ones is "I enjoy deep french kissing". Now, in insight, that was probably not a bad thing, but it was clear right from the start that she didn't really want to do FK. Couple of pecks and I got the message, so I stopped trying. At this point I was probably starting to sense something else as well, in the strange way this woman didn't really attract me. I must also say that her attitude, that of a consummate professional who has seen kilometers of cock in her life wouldn't have really put me in the mood anyway, but from these first exchanges I was already subtly feeling that things weren't quite right, and my desire to believe in her fiction was starting to crumble.
Another lie is "I'm a horny young woman", and let's gloss over the "wo" part: horniness is not anything that I perceived at any point during the punt, particularly in this initial phase where I really needed to feel something like that to believe.
Given the disappointing (back then) experience with kissing, I focused on what I thought were two majestic tits, just to get a massive disappointment from the second I put my fingers on them. The "huge natural breasts" are not natural at all, as a UKP review that I had idiotically missed had already pointed out: what I felt when sensing them was the unmistakable fakeyness of liquid silicone. Two massive, heavy, dense bags of silicone. More hammer strokes on the shaky wall of my self-convincing.
Down to a BJ, she started "without" but as soon as she saw the sign of pre-cum she rushed to get a condom, blathering that she had eaten pineapple the previous day and she felt she had a sore in her mouth and therefore she didn't feel at ease. Thinking back, probably not a bad thing for me, as during the blow-job (where she put some experience) I couldn't really feel anything anyway, as I started feeling a vague sense of unease permeating me.
This is when I did something that will probably remain buried in a dark corner in my head until I'll manage to find some good chemical way to selectively erase the memory: I moved to a 69. And this is when I noticed that 1) her pussy wasn't shaved, or trimmed in a brazilian, it was actually quite bushy, 2) the labia majora looked all weird, particularly in texture, 3) holy shit, what is this? why do the labia stop suddenly mid way and the lower part looks more like a slit? 4) oh my god, what is this small thing in the middle? IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A CLIT? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A CLIT AT ALL IT LOOKS MORE LIKE THE TINY LEFTOVER TIP OF A PENIS WITH GLAND SKIN AROUND IT - OMG OMG OMG OMG - PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC - WITHDRAW WITHDRAW WITHDRAW WITHDRAW
Ok, so let me say at this point that while I am convinced this is what I saw, there is a tiny possibility that my mind played me a trick after all of the tension that mounted, the thoughts about the voice, and the fake tits, and the phoney attitude, and the lack of feeling in the BJ, etc. This is why I'm leaving a 10% of possibility that I'm actually getting it wrong and Angelina was actually born with two X chromosomes.
Now, at this point I thought "OK, no more oral sex, let's see at least if what people say about transes, that is that they are super enthusiastic in sex is true". So I got inside that thing, and started pumping. Not a lot of reactions from her, absolutely no feeling from me, and this increasing, disconcerting sense of things being all in the wrong place. At this point I was probably in full paranoia, because her fake moaning seemed to me to reveal vague masculine tones in the voice (but I must say I've also had girlfriends whose tone of voice shifted dramatically during sex), her body felt too bulky under my arms, and overall the whole thing felt like a big, big mistake.
I tried a change in position, but that didn't help, as in doggy her legs were so much longer than mine that I had to squat rather than keep my knees down, and she started complaining almost immediately that she didn't like it... "because you're going to ruin my pussy", she said as if she was saying "you're going to ruin my new pussy". That was the proverbial final straw.
So I literally faked a headache, said that "for some reason" I wasn't able to come (it must have been the first time in my life, I think!) and turned the punt into a very expensive chat session with a prossie about her plans for her career, and how customers in London are worse than in Rome because they all want to fuck whereas in Italy sometimes people just wanted to chat (I wonder if for some of those Italians the reason was the same as mine).
I thought a lot about whether some people might have liked the experience, and I'm pretty sure it's true. There's a lot of people who willingly go see pre and post-op transsexuals, and there must be all sorts of thrills to the experience: living an experience on the verge of homosexuality while still feeling safe in the hands of heterosexuality, exposing yourself to something radically different, living the transgression... none of this has an even vague appeal to me: the only way this could have worked for me is if I had believed from the start that I was doing it with a woman, and unfortunately there were too many red flags for me to be able to believe that.
Thank god anal was an extra, because at the beginning of the punt I might actually have given a thought to it (given she, unsurprisingly, declares herself a big anal lover). I'd be interested to see what happens when she practices "female ejaculation" as declared on her profile. To any future punter who wants to try that: if the ejaculation is dense and sticky, that's not "female" at all. If it looks and stinks like piss, it's not "ejaculation".
Overall:
- not a bad look, if that's your thing,
- reasonably nice girl, although when she didn't like a position the voice she told me with had a nasty undertone, not friendly at all,
- lots of lies on the profile, about being horny, about OWO, about FK, about natural tits, about HER BEING A FECKING WOMAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Again, if that's your thing, feel free: now let's see if having written this review helps me get over it because this experience really wasn't mine.
And if you're Angelina and you're reading this: I fully support you in your desire to be the person you want, with the gender you want, and live the life you want, but you need to fucking make the truth clear when someone comes to see you as a prostitute. You'd have quite a few clients anyway, and you'd avoid "disappointing" people like me.