Fellas, I've had a shocker! After waxing lyrical about agencies and having a brilliant time on my last 3 punts [reviewed on here], today I came unstuck and my normally reliable agency of choice for EE girls let me down, big time.
The perpetrators
External Link/Members Only "24" and
External Link/Members Only "21"
The victim: me
The venue: Chelsea Cloisters in South Kensington
The price: £300 for one hour plus £20 the nicked out of my pocket while I was in the shower - originally booked 90 minutes but when I saw them assumed the services advertised would be offered and at least I'd enjoy it, I was wrong.
The story: I jauntily waltzed into reception like hundreds of other blokes today, anticipating a great punt with two girls who looked good and Eleonora had one awesome review
External Link/Members OnlyThe advertised services of CIM + CIF + OWO + COB + GFE + Party + A-level + Rimming giving + Couples + DFK + Toys + Uniforms + Domination + Waterspout + 69 + Massage + Striptease + Lapdance + rimming receiving + spanking giving + spanking receiving + Fetish + Couples + Duo with girl + Bi sexual ticked all my boxes - unfortunately, none of them were delivered apart from GFE if its a GF with whom you are going through a messy break up.
Let me tell you something, this cunt Adrian who wrote the review doesn't wear just glasses, I reckon he must be punting's answer to Stevie fucking Wonder.
So, I reach the designated floor and enter a bog standard, slightly tatty 2 bedroom flat to be met by the girls to whom the photographer had been kinder than Rolph Harris to kids at Christmas, Eleonora's blonde locks had been replaced by a mousy mess and Amira boasted a long bush of black, greasy hair reflecting her gypsy roots. Did I mention, they are Romanian?
Both late 20s, early 30s, 5 foot 6/7, natural, flabby, biggish tits & arses but floppy, facially between average and the woman in the dry cleaners, very average.
I think, fuck this for a game of soldiers, I had £440 trousered, no way I'm spending 90 minutes here but I was horny, they were in lingerie and heels, the little fella was twitching so I opted for an hour and counted out £300, putting the rest back into my pocket before dumping my clothes and heading off for a shower.
When I finished my shower one of them brought out the cleaner and zapped the bath!
Upon my return, we had a drink and a half hearted grope, I did my one handed bra opening routine on both girls, they removed their knickers and heels, my towel fell off and we retired to the bed for some shallow lip kissing, no tongues involved whatsoever and blow jobs from each girl performed with the enthusiasm of a housewife doing the washing at a particularly grotty laundrette with lots of wiping between sucks.
I'd been looking forward to some action and was able to get a good erection, despite their best efforts.
I fucked Amira in cowgirl after she applied half a bucket of lube into a cunt that virtually echoed, she held the bottom of my cock to stop full entry, I took her hand away and thrust all 12 inches deeper [just checking you are paying attention] whilst Eleonora played lazily with my bollocks and stuck a finger into my arse, not too deeply - both girls moaned, not in a sexy way more like a petulant teenager.
Around 25 minutes in I've spotted myself going in and out of Amira's pussy in the mirror and Eleonora leaning over, this got me going so I say I want to cum and ask them to kneel by the mirror, they do, still looking pretty vacant but 2 naked birds on their knees, a few days saved up spunk and I managed to pop all over their tits and to their chagrin, chins, shoulders and the floor. Immediately the last shot had left me they were cleaning up with wet wipes and kitchen roll, it was like an advert for Johnson & fucking Johnson. I showered my bits and they showered off the spunk, then cleaned the bath again!
We retired to the bedroom, they checked their texts, we had a brief chat, groped on the bed, they performed an average massage on my back, I turned over, requested we all oil up and go for some body to body, we did but it was pretty tame, after 10 minutes I requested another meeting at the mirror and a blow job which was refused until I washed my dick, I did, in the sink, then returned to receive a listless blowjob while grabbing tits & asses [not too hard] and rubbing oil on them, using the mirror for fleeting stimulation, it didn't work, partly because of their lack of efforts, partly because they both put on fucking flip flops, not even nice ones, cheap fucking flip flops [in case the wooden floor got too slippery!]. With 10 minutes to go I was offered a shower and to be honest by this time I'd lost interest so I did and left thinking why did I fucking bother and Adrian, whoever you are, wherever you are, you are a thundercunt of the highest order.
In Sainsbury's I go to my pocket to pay and realise I'm £20 short, fucking Romanians!
Spoke to the agency who were very apologetic and we'll get something sorted next week but dear oh dear, what a disastrous end to the week.
