I first noticed this girl about a year and a bit ago on Vivastreet. British, pictures looked fine; in fact they're the same ones now padding out her profile.
External Link/Members OnlyNow, I had a look on here to see if there were any reviews for her. She once went by the moniker Charlie. Anyway, I didn't find any reviews for her, either through a lack of one, internet ineptitude or laziness on my part, so I took a bullet for you guys. A painfully mediocre, regretful bullet at that.
CommunicationCommunication was predominantly by text, protracted but cordial. I phoned her during the afternoon and she sounded rather erudite, which made a pleasant change. Things were looking rather promising, especially as she didn't reply to all my questions with 'Yes baby'. I Spelled out clearly what I wanted, and received positive noises in return. You pay per spurt, which is disappointing, but as she’d been on my ‘to do’ list for a while and I liked the look of her pictures, I ploughed on.
VenueAgain, the area she is based in made me think this was going to go well. Quite a nice part of Alty, the street was a dead end and quiet, save for the wind howling between the smart semi-detached houses that made up the ‘hood. The house, when I found it, looked nice enough externally, with a rather flash Audi parked outside (Note: all cars look flash compared to mine). Inside was a little disappointing. It didn’t have the feel of a well kept home, harsh lighting throughout, especially in the bedroom, and an air of unkemptness about it. I wasn’t sure she lived there. Maybe it was rented, but what do I care. The bed however, was unequivocally shite.
GirlI saw her stupid face flash in the window as she kept vigil for my appearance outside her pad. Upon opening the door, I was greeted by her clad in a full length pink fluffy dressing gown, no discernible makeup and no fancy footwear. This all felt reminiscent of another girl I’ve reviewed on here, the saving grace for this one was that she was sober. Well, I guess she’d have to be to be as hard faced as she turned out to be. Physically, her face is more lined than I expected, rather average in looks, and she could have done with a bit of slap on her mug. Pasty white complexion, although not to the extent of appearing like corned beef, averagely fatty female body, and a pair of obviously enhanced boobs, one of which swayed lazily from behind her dressing gown as she robbed me with a smile. Her profile pictures had been taken before this paid for surgical mishap occurred, and I was a little startled at the sight of these bulbous bags of silicone, with nipples that looked ridiculously puffy and swollen. This isn’t a look I care for. All this is academic, as I didn’t get anywhere near them. I did mention (no surprises here), that I wanted a bit of foot action. Well, she made a bit of an effort on that score; her toenails were painted a lovely hue of red. The wayward turf of hair on her left big toe was a bit off putting, and slightly amusing, until I remembered I’d paid for this privilege.
ServicePiss poor from start to finish really. I established the boundaries and limitations of the meet via text and conversation during the day, so I was reasonably confident of a satisfying punt. The general air on remoteness about her became more apparent after money had exchanged hands. As she returned to the room, she almost shrugged her shoulders and gave a slightly smug smile which suggested a game plan was about to be executed. It would have been nice to back hand that look off her ordinary face, were I the kind of twat who resorted to such actions when in the process of being ripped off. She made absolutely no effort to engage with me physically. I sensed this, and asked her to clarify what was on offer. Now her profile lists FK and OWO as discretionary, so when these were taken off the list, as well as reverse oral, then I can only conclude that either a) she didn’t like the look of me, or b) she’s a cynical cunt and knows perfectly well that she’s not going to offer this to any punter. I was about to walk, but I’d already paid, so I said words to the effect of ‘ahh, you don’t offer much then do you’, stripped off and bagged it up. I was offered the choice of position. Obviously this bint wasn’t in it for the service, so I opted for doggy and just cracked on dutifully. The sex was utterly tedious, a feeling of sexual ennui washed slowly over me as I pumped away, enduring her pathetic sexual whimpering and feeling slightly sorry for myself that I hadn’t gone to one of my Polish regulars. So dull was it that I even had the time and spare attentiveness to absorb the ambience of the room, the tacky gold bed throw, and the lack of any real decor. This girl has no taste, or class. The bitch stunk as well, true to form (refer to previous review mentioned earlier), so in addition to her plain face, podgy physique, lacklustre service and inflated price, she really did tick all the criteria of a typical English whore. I finished off, had a slightly passive aggressive conversation with her, dressed, and then fucked off. I had spent a total of 20 minutes of a half hour punt in there.
ConclusionWhat more can I say without repeating myself? I had a discussion in the pub later with my punting bezzie, and we got on to the subject of EE girls. They can (most, not all IMO) provide much better VFM than UK bints as they don’t have that sense of automatic entitlement that British whores have. In fact, I encountered a cracking Romanian girl the week before, whose level of service was a country mile ahead of this abomination. This one however, is definitely NOT recommended.
