Popular media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

UKPunting is a free, independent and not-for-profit paid sex buyer site.


Author Topic: When wanking just isn't enough . . .Married Man Dilemmna  (Read 13262 times)

I think the other point to consider is some guys just adore WG sex.Ive had desires to pay from my mid teens up to my current 40's.

Irrespective of GFs wives etc I still crave and enjoy the thrill of paying for it, I dont think that will ever change.

Offline MrMatrix

I think the other point to consider is some guys just adore WG sex.Ive had desires to pay from my mid teens up to my current 40's.

Irrespective of GFs wives etc I still crave and enjoy the thrill of paying for it, I don't think that will ever change.
No my needs are purely out sexual deprivation and wasted years hoping my OH would see the light as to the misery I've born. :dash:  I'm quite eloquent in putting a case forward. But in the face of constant and a myriad of excuses I was left with no option but to use WG's and go over board after 30 years of being totally faithful. No one can say I didn't give it a good try. It takes a lot of guts for someone like me to do this for the 1st time as there is no way back.

Blufin is right that if we were outed, friends and family would only see the OH's perspective that how could I do that and be totally castigated. I wonder if any of them would say why did  he have the need to do this in the 1st place (you know the1 obvious fucking question). This isn't what he's about and then and only if they are prepared to listen would you possibly understand the misery of being rejected pretty well all your marriage as in my case. :scare: :scare:

I told 2 of my closest friends. One called me a cunt and the other said he'd disown me if I did it again. Considering the 3 of us has had a friendship of over 20 years and watched porn, usual blokey comments. I was disheartened and upset at their rejection. The guy who called me a cunt told 3 weeks later when he realised the level of no sex said he would have left years ago. The other guy 2 years later said he would have gone over board years ago aswell. But it didn't stop them judging me when I was at my lowest. AND they knew I had these problems as well. This is what we can expect......
Bit of a shit deal when you're in a sexless relationship.... long term its a no win scenario :unknown:

Offline Aspen

Come to my next party and I'll introduce you to 30 of them in one room. I'm starting to wonder if my friends and I are even more abnormal than I thought.

30 !!!

You don't go in for small parties then - lol  Are you referring to purely social i.e. amateur events?

Of course I am aware that these things happen. But I thought long and hard about this and I cannot remember any occasion in my life when a female companion has instigated sex. Aside from the obvious paid situation. It has always had to come from me, and as a matter of fact my ex-wife and I discussed this and she was adamant that it was not her place to do any such thing, and that it was down to me. Other women I have been with have been very similar in approach. If I am realistic and analytical about it, probably most of them felt that they were doing a favour. Not necessarily without anything in return. If that sounds cynical, you'd be right. I've become quite cynical over a long period simply by observing human behaviour in all its forms. There is a stark reality about the way people behave towards each other which manifests itself especially in stressful situations.


Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

Offline Nagilum

As far as I'm concerned, if you're not having sex, long term, it's not cheating.  I'm sure they wouldn't see it that way, but tbh I'm waaaay past giving a fuck.  Truth be told, I do have one eye on the exit now, but having kids etc means I need to play the long game.    If things improve between now and me eventually running out of patience, great, I'll re-evaluate. If they don't, well, that's life.

There are a few people very close to me who know how bleak things are at home, and they're amazed at how I'm not particularly unhappy.  If only they knew...  (but I'm not bloody telling anyone!!)  :cool:

I hear you - My advice if its worth anything at this stage.  I was also in a semi unhappy marriage and never once cheating on her.  Lo and behold she had a 2 year affair behind my back, not saying that will happen, but people do move on in their own way.  Now I'm punting away and couldn't be happier.

So I know exactly where you are coming from.

Offline Mansell

No my needs are purely out sexual deprivation and wasted years hoping my OH would see the light as to the misery I've born. :dash:  I'm quite eloquent in putting a case forward. But in the face of constant and a myriad of excuses I was left with no option but to use WG's and go over board after 30 years of being totally faithful. No one can say I didn't give it a good try. It takes a lot of guts for someone like me to do this for the 1st time as there is no way back.

Blufin is right that if we were outed, friends and family would only see the OH's perspective that how could I do that and be totally castigated. I wonder if any of them would say why did  he have the need to do this in the 1st place (you know the1 obvious fucking question). This isn't what he's about and then and only if they are prepared to listen would you possibly understand the misery of being rejected pretty well all your marriage as in my case. :scare: :scare:

I told 2 of my closest friends. One called me a cunt and the other said he'd disown me if I did it again. Considering the 3 of us has had a friendship of over 20 years and watched porn, usual blokey comments. I was disheartened and upset at their rejection. The guy who called me a cunt told 3 weeks later when he realised the level of no sex said he would have left years ago. The other guy 2 years later said he would have gone over board years ago aswell. But it didn't stop them judging me when I was at my lowest. AND they knew I had these problems as well. This is what we can expect......
Bit of a shit deal when you're in a sexless relationship.... long term its a no win scenario :unknown:

And I guess one of the key lessons is "don't tell anyone"

Offline newforthisyear

I've been with my missus nearly 4 years now and it's going downhill in the bedroom, less and less often.

I have punted, she still doesn't know, but it certainly released any tension between us for a few weeks!

Do I feel guilty, kind of? But she wouldn't have done half of the things the WG would.. Oral for one....
Banning reason: Touting banned site by PM

I told 2 of my closest friends. One called me a cunt and the other said he'd disown me if I did it again.
Imagine they were saying what their wives would expect them to say, last thing they would want back to the OH is they agree with you which would put them under scrutiny.

A wise philosopher one wrote;

Those who shout the loudest Usually have the most to hide.  Conclusion the cunt one probably has more reviews than you !

Online Turtle Z

I tell people fuck all because people can be incredibly judgmental without having the faintest idea as to the dynamics of relationships or the lives that married couples lead but whatever the reasons you pay for sex, most people who don't pay for sex would see you as in some way defective or the stereotypical male who can't keep his cock under control.
Would any of us have committed to the OH or married them if the Vicar had asked, "Do you Mrs Smith take Mr Smith and promise to love honour, obey and provide sex once a year, or possibly not at all?"  No, most women who go off sex, were never particularly into sex in my opinion but they managed to maintain the pretence long enough to put the shackles on some poor twat. I accept that menopause can reduce sexual drive but this can be managed rather than used as an excuse. So who cheated on who first? You marry someone who provided sex on tap and they turn off the tap a few years into marriage? Is that what you signed up for, a life of sexual deprivation? No, but sometimes it's just too fucking late because we have kids and other obligations, if not then anyone with any sense would have fucked off long ago.

Offline americandianna

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 14
30 !!!

You don't go in for small parties then - lol  Are you referring to purely social i.e. amateur events?

I used to host swingers' parties that would have 50-70 people. If I threw a social party now it would probably be 40 people, so I guess 20 women would be more like it.


Of course I am aware that these things happen. But I thought long and hard about this and I cannot remember any occasion in my life when a female companion has instigated sex. Aside from the obvious paid situation. It has always had to come from me, and as a matter of fact my ex-wife and I discussed this and she was adamant that it was not her place to do any such thing, and that it was down to me.

That seems outright bizarre to me. I wonder if we are looking at a US/UK cultural difference.

Offline Bluefin


Would any of us have committed to the OH or married them if the Vicar had asked, "Do you Mrs Smith take Mr Smith and promise to love honour, obey and provide sex once a year, or possibly not at all?"  No, most women who go off sex, were never particularly into sex in my opinion but they managed to maintain the pretence long enough to put the shackles on some poor twat. I accept that menopause can reduce sexual drive but this can be managed rather than used as an excuse. So who cheated on who first? You marry someone who provided sex on tap and they turn off the tap a few years into marriage? Is that what you signed up for, a life of sexual deprivation? No, but sometimes it's just too fucking late because we have kids and other obligations, if not then anyone with any sense would have fucked off long ago.
Good point, because I feel cheated. This is not what I signed up for.

When I met my wife she was as horny as fuck and we would do some amazing things sexually, unfortunately these are now consigned to the memory bank, so I would disagree with your point that women who go off sex were never really into it in the first place.
Like Mr Matrix I never so much as kissed a woman for the first 15 years that we were married, but as the years went by and the sex got less and less I wondered what I was getting from being such a "good boy".

I think one of the things that made me face up to the state of our sex life was when I booked a nice hotel for the weekend on our anniversary and she didn't want to have sex, what a waste that was! :dash:

I don't want to live without sex and regret it at the end of my life, I also don't think that divorce would make me any happier,as other aspects of our marriage are ok.
So while I'm still able to enjoy one of life's greatest pleasures, sex, punting provides the perfect opportunity.

Online Turtle Z

Good point, because I feel cheated. This is not what I signed up for.

When I met my wife she was as horny as fuck and we would do some amazing things sexually, unfortunately these are now consigned to the memory bank, so I would disagree with your point that women who go off sex were never really into it in the first place.


Well it only happened to me once, I've never had a partner go off sex but then all my relationships have been driven by initial sexual attraction. Ironically, the one time I decide to go against the grain and hook up because we were friends, it all went wrong. I kind of knew it would never work sexually but I wanted someone 'nice' who would give me an easy life. Perhaps I'd had one over emotional woman too many. I  do wonder if there's that perfect woman out there who is a nymphomaniac in the bedroom but in all other respects calm, balanced and rational. My ex wife was 'horny as fuck' when we met but she was a walking case study for a woman who used sex purely to get what she wanted. I don't underestimate that power and how convincing or 'horny as fuck' they can be prior to getting what they want. My ex-wife turned off the tap 3 months after getting married but thankfully no kids so I walked away no problem.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2015, 11:57:12 PM by Turtle Z »

Offline Mansell

I don't want to live without sex and regret it at the end of my life, I also don't think that divorce would make me any happier,as other aspects of our marriage are ok.
So while I'm still able to enjoy one of life's greatest pleasures, sex, punting provides the perfect opportunity.

Exactly,  best advert for Punting I have ever seen.  :D :D

Offline Aspen

That seems outright bizarre to me. I wonder if we are looking at a US/UK cultural difference.

I doubt it.

Bizarre or not, that is my experience. Everyone has different life experiences. If it hadn't been mine it's highly unlikely I would be on here. I'm not here to complain, just to learn, inform and make comparisons.
Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

Offline Agent W

Exactly, but if your punting habit was ever found out, all the focus would be on your wrong doing,  nobody would even know of your years of suffering!

If I'm ever in that situation I going to use the "You'd bloody well better not be annoyed with me" line I get from her whenever some shit happens that's not exactly her fault but kind of is.

OH started going off sex while we were still engaged, but like an idiot I didn't see it and call things off. Then as time went on the cold shoulders got more frequent and the spontaneity started going out of it along with my favourite stuff, until eventually it was a duty-based Sunday morning missionary following a mandatory 10 minute therapeutic backrub that left me exhausted and gave me backache. Eventually the effort/benefit ratio got such that I gave up trying, so no sex since late last decade.

I have never felt the slightest pang of guilt for making my own arrangements to fulfill a basic need the only way I can.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2015, 02:06:25 PM by Agent W »

Offline Aspen

I tell people fuck all because people can be incredibly judgmental without having the faintest idea as to the dynamics of relationships or the lives that married couples lead but whatever the reasons you pay for sex, most people who don't pay for sex would see you as in some way defective or the stereotypical male who can't keep his cock under control.
Would any of us have committed to the OH or married them if the Vicar had asked, "Do you Mrs Smith take Mr Smith and promise to love honour, obey and provide sex once a year, or possibly not at all?"  No, most women who go off sex, were never particularly into sex in my opinion but they managed to maintain the pretence long enough to put the shackles on some poor twat. I accept that menopause can reduce sexual drive but this can be managed rather than used as an excuse. So who cheated on who first? You marry someone who provided sex on tap and they turn off the tap a few years into marriage? Is that what you signed up for, a life of sexual deprivation? No, but sometimes it's just too fucking late because we have kids and other obligations, if not then anyone with any sense would have fucked off long ago.

I think that's pretty much spot on, except that when you share so much of your life with someone, you do tend to form a strong attachment regardless of how much sex there is.

I think the truth of it is that most women have no concept of how it feels to be male, and they just do what they want to do and leave their nearest and dearest high and dry.
Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

Seems a family common issue, and one that has had various threads devoted to it.

I for one, discovered the joys of punting just over  year ago, and have used it to go through my fetish / kink list, things `i could never get up to with er indoors.
But the reason was like so many,  a desert at  home , I sed to get worked up about it, but the punting seems to have disputed that frustration nicely.

I don't feel guilty, as that would detract from he whole business, but equally I wouldn't want the OH to find out and be upset, as she no doubt would be, other aspects of the married life seem to be OK.


But hey, no doubt we have all had other secrets throughout life, so this is just another one.


Interestingly, as women seem to go off of the sex side of a relationship, they still seem to have an opinion, and its generally what  rotter a bloke is for working some other female!

But this issue is obviously something we are all concerned about, otherwise the threads wouldn't keep appearing, and us posting!


Offline Aspen

Interestingly, as women seem to go off of the sex side of a relationship, they still seem to have an opinion, and its generally what  rotter a bloke is for working some other female!

Yes, it's funny how they become rabidly anti-men, and yet completely overlook their own performance as women. That's pretty much a consistent phenomenon amongst the couples I know reasonably well. Women who have good sex lives tend not to be so anti-men. And those are almost entirely confined to the under 40's.

I would say that prostitutes are just as bad - if not worse considering they are supposedly experts in these matters. The number that in the past have told me they have a partner but don't have sex with them even though they are shagging other guys all the time used to surprise me. But not any more, because I've got used to hearing it from across the spectrum.
Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

What galls me is being dragged out to go shopping for undies; 'What do I think of this, that, these .....' How do you politely say 'It doesn't fucking matter what I think because I'll never see you wearing them?'  All the while I'm eyeing up the crumpet and seeing what they're selecting.

Once, in a shop I was holding some stuff and this similar aged but attractive woman said to me, 'They're nice ...' indicating a petticoat and matching set over my arm that my missus had selected.
I replied 'Well this is the closest I'll ever get to them now' to which the woman surprised me with 'Same for my husband.' My missus even laughed when she said that. Talk about a lost cause.

'Mansell' previously asked 'what's the point' when I stated I won't go on holiday with my missus .... well why should I, there's sadly not a lot going on in my household and I'm not taking that on my hols when I want to enjoy myself.

Yesterday was my department's Xmas bash. I sat in the boozer looking at all the women there, done up to the nines [some very nice legs on display] and then I look at the blokes with them and I'm thinking 'wonder which of you have to punt?'

So yes, years without have left me sad, lonely, angry and aggressive. For an hour or so, a couple of times a month, I feel the warmth of a woman's body against mine; it doesn't really matter if things finish with a shag because for those minutes I actually feel warm, safe and wanted [even if it is a professional contractual obligation with a WG]. My missus isn't even up for a cuddle or anything remotely intimate.

When I was younger I used to look at all the old blokes in the office hanging around all the totty at the office bash, making absolute cnuts of themselves.
I never knew why they did it then, but I know now. Unlike them I know I have no chance so I just have a pint or two, look at the crumpet about, perhaps have a quick mental fantasy and go home in good order. Perhaps via a punt on the way.

I've been watching 'Cuffs' on BBC and the character 'Felix' the DI has been shown on a punt a couple of times - his construed misery being dementia in his father and a crap relationship, but I wonder how many of us identify with the 'misery' prospect his character faces - I know I do.

Offline uksaldn

As a new poster to your forum, wanking has never been good enough  :rolleyes:
For myself, punting reaches quickly the parts that simple dating can take too long to reach.

jcdmj12

As a new poster to your forum, wanking has never been good enough  :rolleyes:
For myself, punting reaches quickly the parts that simple dating can take too long to reach.

+1 very few civvies respond well to being asked "How about anal then? And can I facefuck you?" in the second email.

jcdmj12

I suspect a therapist would have a field day with this, but I have faced up to the fact I enjoy sex a lot more when it requires clandestine activities to arrange.  The idea of meeting a complete stranger at a random hotel knowing she'll have her tongue down my throat within 5 minutes is quite a thrill.


If it was left up to the missus we would have sex about once per year :dash: where as I would fuck every night if possible. If it was down to some medical condition I would have a bit more sympathy but the only reason is that she can't be bothered and when we do, do it, its like the previously mentioned sack of spuds!
This creates a huge sticking point for me, I have tried to suggest that we make an effort once per week but it never lasts and you go back to the porn/wanking cycle.
She does not seem to realise the resentment it causes and I genuinely wouldn't punt if it was on the table once per week.
I wouldn't leave because of reasons mentioned earlier, kids, no mortgage, big house etc but why should I have to endure forced celibacy?

So for me punting, I think in some way reduces the resentment caused, even though I'm not a prolific punter, and I wonder how many marriages are improved because of the option to punt?
Hopefully she will never find out, and if not, struggling to find a downside.

You have summed up my reasons far more eloquently than I could ever have hoped to. I was planning on buying a nice car after Christmas, but we have had sex twice this year, and she still appears blaisé to my needs. So buying a banger and punt more for the sake of my sanity

jcdmj12

You have summed up my reasons far more eloquently than I could ever have hoped to. I was planning on buying a nice car after Christmas, but we have had sex twice this year, and she still appears blaisé to my needs. So buying a banger and punt more for the sake of my sanity

Haha, yes my punting budget would allow me to drive something really rather nice, but I'd much rather be driving something cheap and fulfilling my sexual fantasies on a regular basis.   :yahoo:

Reading everyone's life stories here has actually given me some hope. Married 26 years, and a good relationship, with a nice house and grown up children. Yet bring up the subject of sex, and how we haven't engaged in it for a while .... And the cold mist descends.
Tonight I have sat in the study,watching TV on my own, and really contemplating why I stay with a women, that rejects my love,passion and companionship when I mention sex.

Offline Sparquin

Reading everyone's life stories here has actually given me some hope. Married 26 years, and a good relationship, with a nice house and grown up children. Yet bring up the subject of sex, and how we haven't engaged in it for a while .... And the cold mist descends.
Tonight I have sat in the study,watching TV on my own, and really contemplating why I stay with a women, that rejects my love,passion and companionship when I mention sex.

I totally get it, but once resentment starts creeping in then things can get difficult.  My punting has pretty much saved me from being a dreadfully bitter and cynical person towards Mrs. S.

I would suggest punting not out of spite or unhappiness but as a means of reaffirming who you are and your own sexual needs. Seen from that perspective I enjoy my punting and find it liberating. No guilt attached. I would prefer a better and fulfilling marriage but after 27 years I know it is not available. 


Latest videos on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

Latest images on UKEscorting.com (free site!)