External Link/Members Only WARNING: There is zero discretion, the second you turn towards the building, people know you're there for pussy. There will be other naked men in the club with you. Showers are communal. There is no haggling, standard and extras are all priced and enforced.
You pay AFTER the deed. You fuck the girl, then she follows you to your locker and you pay her then.
Chat and flirt with them, getting to know them and showing you give a shit makes a girl way more likely to want to give you a good time (tipping culture).
Overall:
POSITIVE - There are girls for everyone, short, tall, skinny, curvy, most races, all pretty and some are drop dead gorgeous, sad that I didn't spot a red head though.
(All prices here are listed in EUROS, not pounds)
Price: Entry fee - 80, standard service - 60, tip - expected but technically not enforced, 10-20 is my go to, depending on quality of service, a real massage by a bloke - 40 + tip (I didn't indulge, I wasn't there to get my ass kneaded by some hairy old man)
Time - I went on a Tuesday afternoon (11:30-3-30pm), so it was not at peak hours
Location - Very close to an S-Bahn station, Berlin's overground rail that is connected to the U-bahn, their tube. They also have ample parking and all taxis know how to get there, so navigation won't be a problem. (If you have a smartphone, get the app CityMapper, it'll get you there, idiot proof)
You can't tell from the outside, it looks like a boring bog standard commercial block, save for the sign "Artemis" and a couple of door side ornaments, but inside, you start to get a sense of the effort put into making this as "vegas" as possible, if you'll forgive the term.
Services provided -
What your entry fee of 80 gets you: Safe box and locker, free use of saunas, pools, gym (good joke), porn cinema (horribly hilarious german porn) non-alcoholic beverages, and food buffet (breakfast and lunch/dinner).
What 60 gets you with a girl: OWO and sex, and depending on the girl, kissing and RO in varying degrees of intensity, talk to the girl and they'll let you know.
Extras: Fingering, CIM, COB, facials at 50 each. Anal is 100 extra. 2 girls is double the standard rate, 2 girls with girl on girl action is up negotiation.
I was there for long enough to only have the breakfast buffet, but the food was nice. The croissants were buttery and the bacon was crispy.
What I did and services received - Warning, long. Sex parts are marked yellow. TL;DR at the end
It was a lovely sunny day with a light breeze as I walked into Artemis. The receptionist had her back turned to me so I made my presence known, and was greeted with a friendly smile. Standard pleasantries dealt with, she asked me if I've ever been, and after I said no, she gave a quick rundown of what's available (listed above).
I got ready, and decided my first mission was to be a nosy cunt and snoop around the entire facility. There are two floors open to guests to roam. The bottom floor has the porn cinema, the gym, and pool, some saunas, massage tables, and a bar. I didn't do much there for now, it was early and there were very little girls available, most of them being around the main bar.
After snooping around the bottom floor, I walked into the main lounge. A dimly lit room with a large bar situated in the middle of sofas and love seats, it was peppered with very pretty ladies, some draped over entire sofas, some sipping a cool drink on a barstool.
Never, ever, just go with the first girl to approach you boasting about how good she is. Remember to use your words, and make sure you have in your head what you want. Don't be afraid to wave them off, but do be polite, they have feelings after all.
I made my way to the outdoor pool where the sun is out at full force, and to my great delight, there was nobody but me and 3 sexy ladies and various stages of undress sunning themselves, so I plopped down right next to a nicely tanned girl who had some wicked tattoos of roses on her left leg and generous tits. I chatted with her, but found out she doesn't kiss, and neither did her friends, so my interest dropped. It was a slight let down for the first part of my stay.
Despite the bummer start, I decided to just enjoy the sun. I disrobed, and lay nude on the sun chair to get a tan going. What a fantastic view, the girls here don't give a single shit about you staring at them, and I even get a few playful wiggles, trying to grab my attention and beckoning me to a room. I resisted, as I wanted a girl who'd be willing to kiss.
After having my fill of the sun, I head back to the lounge to grab a cold drink, and there I spotted the first girl that made me genuinely want her. A lovely (dyed) blonde and curvy german girl by the name of Carli (I think, she had a heavy accent). All the girls have monster heels on so I can't guess her height, but she has a smile that is both dazzling and adorable, giving her eyes a flash of foxiness whenever she grins mischievously. As luck would have it, she does do kissing, and she likes receiving oral to boot, so I decided, why wait?
She led the way to one of the rooms on the floor above the lounge, where guests are only allowed if they're accompanied by one of the working girls there. Once we're into the room, she laid some towels out, I took my robe off, and we started to have a little fun.
SEX - PART 1We started with me lying down with Carli on her hands and knees over me. She kissed me softly, lightly frenching me, probing my mouth in a gentle and shallow manner, and I returned the favour. She slowly kissed her way down and gradually took my cock into her mouth. Her blowjob is on point; no teeth, great pressure control and tongue movements, all synchronised to her bobbing up and down and deep throating from time to time, all while keeping her hair out of the way so she can look you in the eye. She sucked and licked and sucked some more, teasing the shaft and balls when she needed a break, and resuming once she caught her breath. She is a real trooper and probably would've carried on if I didn't tell her to swing around for some 69.
She lowered herself onto my awaiting mouth with tentative eagerness, shuffling backwards inch by inch until her other lips met mine. She is a very responsive girl, or a girl who knows what real responsiveness sounds like and can act it out perfectly, either is fine in my book. We fellated each other with great vigour, I switched between teasing her clit, to lapping her labia like a rabid dog, to tongue fucking her pussy with a stiffened tongue, each change eliciting a moan of pleasure and encouragement. Carli was doing great work to my penis as well, the new angle making it easier for it to slide down her throat, and with repeated visits to my balls, I was quite close to climaxing, so I asked her to stop and get some fucking going on.
Condom on, lube applied, I decided I wanted to take her in mish. I asked her if she was flexible, she nodded, and I felt myself get the most devilish grin, then I hooked her legs under my arms, and slid my member into her soft, wet, warm and tight hole. I started slow, but her fantastic blowjob has had me on edge already and I was not going to let the high go, so I picked up the pace quite a bit, the faster I went, the more I pressed down on her legs, folding them over her torso as I pounded her relentlessly. I was leaning in so far I was in range for a quick kiss before I kicked it into Top Gear (RIP my favourite show), and rammed into her again and again till I saw stars and came inside of her.
After a quick clean up, I had a little time left so we cuddled idly for a few minutes, then I led her to my locker, payed her and tipped, and we parted ways. As far as first impression goes, this was a fantastic one. She was never rude, or tried to sell me anything extra in a pushy manner. She was fun, polite, and great in bed, what more can a guy look for in a working girl?
After a quick shower, I headed back to the pool, but sadly it was a bit more populated now and I wasn't in the mood for old hairy dicks swinging about, so I cooled off at the bar. Multiple girls approached me, but I had to decline politely as I was still pretty spent from hammering Carli, whom I spied taking another lucky man up the stairs, she proved to be a very popular girl, deservedly so.
I decided to try the breakfast buffet, which turned out to be a pleasant surprise in terms of quality. Once I had my food, I looked for a pretty lady to sit next to, and that's when I saw Linda, a tall and skinny Slovakian girl in glasses with stylish rectangular frames with dirty brown coloured hair and cute little tits (I love tiny tits), and legs that go for miles accentuated by those stripper heels.
She was in the midst of her own breakfast/lunch, so we ate in silence, exchanging the occasional wink and cheeky grin. It's always nice to see a playful girl, one who isn't above casually throwing you a flirty look just for the hell it, and she was getting prettier and sexier by the minute. When we both finished our food, we had some small talk, where we're from, why're we in Berlin, etc. She asked if I wanted to take her to a room now, but I felt like my little friend was still not ready, so I told her I'll find her later, which got me a slight frown and a curt nod.
I decided to check out the porn cinema, sweet Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Holy Shit Spirit, it is the funniest and most horrible porn I have ever witnessed in my (admittedly, short) time on Earth. I'm sure people are well aware of the, let's say tropes, of German porn. It wasn't even THAT kinky though, save for the girl who got an enema and was squirting it into a guy's mouth, but I digress.
There I was laughing away at the horrible "plot" and the god awful acting and set design, drawing a bit of attention to myself, as I spotted a few heads poking around the corner to see what the ruckus was about. Several of them were naked ladies, and they all asked if I wanted some "sex company", but I still wasn't feeling up to it. I was having a great time just witnessing the rape of cinema, but then Linda turned around the corner, and I beckoned her over to sit next to me.
Linda was, confused, to say the least as to why I’m laughing my head of at a porno. Her grasp of the english language was limited, so I had a hard time explaining the nuances of film making and the butchery of a film the porn was, but she was polite and at least paid attention to me and asked questions, which I appreciated. By this time though, the sounds of fucking from the porn plus Linda’s casual caressing over my robe was stirring me, so we started getting dirty right there.
SEX - PART 2I wasn’t sure if I could achieve full mast yet, so Linda took the lead, knelt down in front of me, and eased my cock past her cute little lips and into her welcoming, warm, and soothing mouth. Linda prefers to use her tongue as a teasing tool as opposed to rhythmic strokes, licking me from balls to the tip and down the shaft and up again, holding the glans in her mouth and brushing it with her tongue, before slowly giving it a few strokes with her mouth and hand. Despite her style of oral style lacking intensity, it was still very pleasurable and I enjoyed the sight of the german porn and a sexy girl giving me head, so I laid back and relaxed. Several heads poked in, but left. They could’ve stayed, we were giving a better performance than the porn.
Soon enough, I was as hard as I was ever going to be, so I told her,
“let’s fuck”,
She nodded, reached over for a condom, slipped it on me, squatted over my dick, and pierced herself with it, slowly enveloping my length till our pelvic bones met. She started to pump away, alternating between long quick strokes, slamming into me and making me groan in pleasure and her in exertion, to a gentler grind as she shuffled forwards and backwards, pressing herself against me and pulling away again, our skin rasping against each other’s.
I can tell she was getting tired, given her precarious perch, her legs were starting to tremble, so I changed position to doggy, with her bent over the seat of the sofa, with our backs to the screen. I entered her again, with me in control this time, and I grabbed her hips and thrust away. I was still building up to a climax so I kept a more mellow pace for a while, squeezing that petite ass and occasionally rubbing the small of her back.
Soon enough, I can feel my seed start to boil again, so I push her back down to an arch and reached forward to turn her tits into handles as I pulled her into me. She got the hint and started backing into me as I slam forward, going faster and faster, all the while fondling those lovely itty bitty titties. The porn in the background was really picking up as well, and the sound of us fucking, the clap of my hips banging into her ass, the sound of me grunting and her moaning were all mixed with the sound of the fucking on screen, until at last I pulled her towards me by her tits one last time as I came for the second time that day, deep inside Linda.
We eventually left the theatre after a little cuddling, and I paid what I owed plus a tip and we went our own ways.
After 2 rounds, I was pretty worn out despite the break in between, so I grabbed yet another cold drink from the bar and headed to the pool for a proper tanning session. As luck would have it, more girls have arrived since I last checked and now there was a fine selection of ladies (and hairy old men) to ogle at.
I picked a corner seat by the pool, naked ladies on either side of me, round tits and jiggling asses as far as the eye could see, uninterrupted sunlight reflecting on sweat, turning flesh into glistening orbs. A couple of lads were having a game of shitty water polo, so there was plenty of splashing, which got the ladies to flinch and jiggle their goods, so cheers to them.
Girls came and gone, and around midway through my tan, a pair of black girls, one very dark, and one mixed, strolled to a sun chair near me and settled down for some sun themselves. I was instantly smitten by the mixed girl. Tall in those ridiculous heels, legs that went all the way to China, toned but not overly muscular, round tits with enough weight to hang a little, and a cute face that only mixed races seem to have.
I couldn’t stop looking at her, and she definitely noticed, several times she caught my eye and tilted her head towards where the rooms were, but sadly, my little fella just wasn’t having it, not even a twitch or a little extra blood going on down there, so I just shook my head and kept enjoying the warm, summer sun, sipping an ice cold drink and watching naked ladies flaunt their goods and old hairy white men awkwardly amble around.
After tanning both my front and my buns, I decided it was time for round 3, the most times I would have came in a day from sex. Looking around, I didn’t spot the mixed girl, so I assumed she was busy and headed down to the theatre again. Turns out, she was milling about there, looking for clients, so we started a little chat, me talking about how funny german porn is, and her not having a single clue as to what I’m on about. She let her hands roam all over me, however, my friend downstairs was having none of it and refused to come out and play, so, with a tinge of genuine sadness, I told her I needed a bit longer, and she walked away, leaving me alone to guffaw at the state of presumably old german pornography.
After the scene I was watching finally drew to an ugly and awkward close, I decided, fuck it, I want to tap that ass, and I’ll be damned if another guy gets to her first. So I went to the bar, and luckily caught her on her way to the pool again, and this time, we went to a room to get some action going.
SEX - PART 3We were in bed and groping each other vigorously, kissing each other’s bodies with passion, and I felt nothing but taut skin over dense muscle, you can’t even pinch her belly or bum, she is the fittest girl I’ve ever been in bed with.
Body kisses soon turned into oral, and she was a pro. She promised me that her blowjob skills will definitely get me hard, and she was right. The groping and kissing had already put me at half mast, but her mouth was what drew me to full attention. Deep, long, tight strokes with her throat again and again, maintaining perfect pressure throughout the whole blowjob, she was good and she knew it, peeking at me and giving me as sly grin with my cock in her face.
I wanted a taste of that ass so I pulled her over my face and went to town on her pussy and ass hole. I sampled everything she had to offer down there, licking her from clit to ass and back, lightly jabbing her tight anus with my tongue, managing to wriggle just the tippy tip into it, which got a really nice sounding moan from her, before moving onto her pussy again and started to eat her out properly.
At this point we were both really worked up, and she asked if I wanted to fuck her in the ass for 100 extra, so I did some mental math, and realised, with great happiness, that I have just enough for that, so I agreed with great enthusiasm.
Condom, lube, reverse cowgirl.
My tip is the widest point of my cock, so that was the initial struggle for her. At one point I was pretty close to losing my erection, but then she finally relaxed enough, and slowly but surely, I was gliding into the tightest warmest hole I have ever felt in my life. If you’ve never had anal sex, you simply do not know what the word tight means. It’s a whole other level of sensation and I urge you to try it at least once, though you’d struggle if you have a hard time maintaining a rock hard erection, as it is a struggle to achieve initial penetration.
After she managed to fit my whole cock up her ass, she started to ride me. Slowly at first, on her knees facing away from me, lifting and lowering herself at a gentle pace, rocking slightly to increase the sensation rocketing through me. Then she picked up the pace, got on her heels, and started bouncing earnestly, my cock sliding in and out of her ass as she held onto my legs for support. She built up to a feverish pace, moaning in pain/pleasure as my whole length disappeared and reappeared, faster and faster until I couldn’t bare it anymore and exploded deep inside her.
Regrettably, I can’t remember her name. I can’t even remember if I had asked for it, but the memory of her anal muscles clenching at my cock as I entered her will stick with me for a long, long time. Almost as long as seeing so many hair old man crotches on proud display around the pool.
After I paid the mixed girl her dues, it was time to take one last shower, get dressed, and turn in my keys. I could have gone back on the same day, the 80 entry fee is for the day and not just once session, but I refrained. Personally, I feel like you need a few days of build up, and release it all into girls of your choosing when you go.
TL;DR
Fucked 3 girls, long blonde haired curvy German (Carli), long haired skinny petite brunette Slovakian with glasses(Linda), black haired super fit black/german mix.
Blonde German was the cutest and friendliest, flexible and willing to please, she french kisses.
Brunette Slovakian was is more serious but knows how to give you a good time, good if you like a stern but confident woman.
Black/german mix is incredibly fit, everything is toned to perfection with a unique facial structure to mixed race people, great anal shag.
