there are a variety of toys available. some designed for specific genders, others are considered unisex.
I've have used toys during sex, both ways.
I would say the biggest difference between porn&wank and using a toy in the session is the physical stimulation / proximity in the session.
it's personal tastes that would dictate how happy you would be using them in a session (either with a WG or a civvie).
it's not for everyone, but i guess in the end she managed to do her job...all's well and all that!