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External Link/Members OnlyMet up with "Lily", or whatever her name is, earlier this evening at flat she is working from in Reading town centre.
SHORT VERSION:Absolutely nothing like the very attractive girl in the photos, dull girl and not a great shag - avoid.
LONG VERSIONFee: 30min @ £60
Comms: Called Lily as I was leaving work and arranged a meeting for an hour later. She texted me the postcode. On arrival, called for flat number but she didn't buzz me in straight away - was on phone. Hanging round outside for about a minute before she buzzed me in, but wasn't really an issue as fortunately no-one around.
Location/venue:Top-floor flat in one of a series of blocks in Reading town centre. It's a side road off Bridge Street, turning is by council office. Therefore, parking in Oracle is an option, but to be honest, there is enough parking on the estate if you go right to the bottom of the road.
It's a nice area, with few people around. So far, so good, but it went downhill from here...
Looks: Average-looking Polish girl, a bit EMO, with dyed red hair and fairly heavy black mascara. About 26 years old, thin and with small breasts. In a nutshell: Nothing like the girl in the photos.
Personality: She had one? Could have fooled me. Was pleasant enough and spoke reasonable English, but hardly said a word. No interaction or interest at all, but at the same time, not unpleasant. She may not even have been Polish.
Details of meeting: After the slight delay, went to top floor and found flat easily enough. No sign of any neighbours.
I knocked on the door and, unsurprisingly, the girl who opened it looked nothing like the girl in the photos, photoshopped or not. Looks-wise, she was very average and I sure that many of you would have turned on their heels and walked at this point.
But I don't have particularly high standards and she seemed nice enough, plus I was here now. And besides, I had already taken a herbal blue pill and the front of my trousers was started to ripple.
Flat and bedroom was nice enough.
"How long do you want to stay? An hour"
"AN HOUR, you've got to be fucking joking?! You're bloody lucky that I'm paying for HALF an hour"
I didn't actually SAY that to her, of course, just thought it.
She took the paperwork, disappeared, I undressed and she came back with a towel, offering me a shower. It was en suite and seemed nice enough. Oh, I wrong I was.
I remembered to take my trousers containing phone, keys etc into the bathroom with me (can't be too careful).
Unfortunately, I needed to go for a piss. Lid and seat were down. Lifted the lid up. CLUNK. It came away in my hand. Lifted the seat. CLUNK. It came away in my other hand. Jesus wept. She knows I'm going to the loo then! (I didn't break them - they were already detached - honest.)
I managed to prop the lid up, then hold the seat in my right hand and my cock in the left and piss easily enough.
Then I squeezed myself into the world's smallest shower and pressed the button. A drip of water came out on medium and a dribble on high, even when I took the head off its stand to try to increase the pressure.
And there was no shower gel in the bottle.
This was turning into a truly disastrous punt and I was nowhere near the girl yet.
After a quick wash, came out and she was already stripped down on the bed. She then leapt into a rather hamfisted hand job and if she did any OWO, then it was so quick I missed it. I tried kissing her, but she not only closed her mouth but turned her head away.
Kissed her tits and went down on her. Unsurprisingly, given my luck, she had a rather sensitive clit so had to be fairly gentle. While I was giving her oral, she was intaking breath as if flinching - not sure if that is just a natural reaction and nothing to worry about or was her tensing up.
After a bit of this, sex. "I can't find the condom," she said.
Jesus wept. The way this punt is going, of course you can't.
She did find it eventually we had sex in missionary. Again, no FK and I had to realign her legs behind my back a couple of times. Not surprisingly, I lasted noticeably longer than in Leticia last week.
After I popped, she removed condom and offered me a dry tissue.
"I don't suppose you have any wet wi....?"
I didn't have to finish my sentence because I knew, after all the above, there was no way this ill-equipped EE WG was going to have a wet wipe. So had to use a couple of tissues, dress and leave.
At least she remembered to say "thank you".
Positives- Nice, discreet area in town centre, with parking.
Neutral- Average looks, not ugly but...
Negatives- Nowhere near the girl in the photos
- Doesn't seem to enjoy her job so doesn't get "into it"
- Doesn't say anything and there's no interaction
- No FK or OWO
- Broken, disaster-prone bathroom that trying to negotiate is akin to a Laurel and Hardy sketch.
- And finally, no wet wipes.
ConclusionYes, yes, yes, I know what you are saying.
There is no way that, realistically, the WG, charging £60 for half an hour in Reading with little real feedback, was actually going to look like this..
Hidden Image/Members OnlyI'm sure you sages are shaking your head, going "stupid, old fool". And you're probably right. Truth is I was aware of this profile previous and knew that the girl wouldn't be her in the photos, but I sometimes enjoy the uncertainty of who is going to open that door. You can't go on safe bets all the time.
For my last 2 punts, you couldn't get more of a contrast between a high-end Working Girl like Leticia and this girl - yet they are a couple of hundred yards away from each other as the crow flies.
But that, dear reader, is the joy of punting.
