getting away with it

[freddiej]

I don't think I would do it if I had to make the excuses I've read.  I suppose I'm lucky in that my job means she never knows exactly where I am, she very rarely rings me, we have always had our own work and interests and don't live in each others pockets, we have always kept our own separate bank accounts, I could go on.

Mind you we also don't have sex and she has intimated that she wouldn't be surprised if I'm getting it somewhere else.

[Catullus]

...whatever.. but DO remember to FORGET your mobile phone on the kitchen table when you go out.

[spkmstr48]

...whatever.. but DO remember to FORGET your mobile phone on the kitchen table when you go out.

Yeah right, I'll put it right next to my right arm.

[Catullus]

it's not the punting phone you leave behind, but the regular one on which you don't want to be reached. 

[spkmstr48]

it's not the punting phone you leave behind, but the regular one on which you don't want to be reached.

Yes, know that.

Meant being without smartphone is like losing an arm.

[KidCandyShop]

If I left my phone behind she would think something very fishy was going on or expect me to burst through the door at any moment screaming wheres me phone.

[SamLP]

Going to the gym usually works. Go to the punt, then actually head off to the gym for a half hour run, quick shower and head back home. Claim you had a strenuous workout rather than the 30 minutes you spent there, can't answer calls in the gym as you're phone is on the locker and no need to worry about shower gel smells as it's normal to have a shower after a workout. Join one of those cheap 24 hour gyms. They're understaffed and require a pin to enter so even in an emergency you can't be reached.

[RedKettle]

I agree the gym is very useful - I always try and go there for a shower after a punt.

Trouble is the wife now wonders how come after all these visits to the gym I am still a fat bastard.

[spkmstr48]

I agree the gym is very useful - I always try and go there for a shower after a punt.

Trouble is the wife now wonders how come after all these visits to the gym I am still a fat bastard.

Tell her it's the secret eating brought on by the guilt.

Perhaps not.

[SamLP]

I agree the gym is very useful - I always try and go there for a shower after a punt.

Trouble is the wife now wonders how come after all these visits to the gym I am still a fat bastard.

  Hence the "go for a 30 minute run" before having a shower. That along with the punt will have burned a few hundred calories. If you go to one of those gyms with a jacuzzi or sauna you could say you felt lazy and spent it alternating between them.

[kiltedviking]

Sorry, deleted, wrong thread 

[mr-oraltastic]

Swinmming is a good cover, go to the local pool after the punt, in, couple of lengths, make sure that you go under and hey presto you smell of chlorine

[raylondoner]

As a one-off and assuming you're not too far from Billingsgate, how about winning a tour of the fish market?

Wouldn't have to worry about the Eau de Pussy!

(I'm just getting my coat)

[Tony Montana]

This kind of thread is the reason we need a section for established members only

[webpunter]

This kind of thread is the reason we need a section for established members only

Exactly - i would deffo then be open to revealing a few more details.  This of course presumes that i would qualify.  Could put in a criteria for being on here a year for starters.  That in itself would weed iffy members out.  By the time new member qualified any info showing would be pretty much old news

[gamelghari]

I just tell the missus I'm going for a massage.  When I get back I bore her to tears with the details, slightly modified in content, always whilst she's watching TV.

I use different phone, surname etc and the places I frequent plus the few lined up for attention are on my punting phone as buyers of this or that company.
As a result of suitable words of advice given to me years ago I keep my private life separate from my married life.

[webpunter]

I just tell the missus I'm going for a massage

Fuck-me-sideways.  If i mentioned that then it would be about 0.5 secs until the question was "did you get a HE ?".  Now you've started then a bit of a problem to stop.  Given that your missus appears not to kick up a fuss then maybe she's not bothered if you go for a massage & HE ? Only you will know but i'd wager a reasonable amount at Ladbrokes that something along the lines of you getting a HE is going through her mind.  If it works for you then fine, but an out-and-out disaster looming for most on here with an OH where there is the faint flicker of sex on the horizon.  No matter how infrequent it may be.  And mentioning massages is either going to get the OH to up her game.  Or most probably snuff out the flicker in one go
As for your trip to Be Health massage, i would recommend a place nearby - thai rather than chinese.  So typically better looking and less chance of a hairy muff     External Link/Members Only

[flybynightpm]

I punt during work hours generally and work is .. hot desking and multi-location so quite normal to disappear for a meeting, walk out , punt, clean and back at my desk 2hrs later... perfect.. Keep a coat in the car so you don't get cold... easier during the summer as you just walk out and leave jacket on chair.

I've a hobby that requires frequent  visits to shops in the area so covers non-working time punts.. not going to mention it here for Christ's sake...

[Daffodil]

I usually punt when the missus is otherwise engaged (work, out with friends, etc.) and find this works well. I don't tend to travel too far and punt for thirty minutes so I don't have a lot of time that needs explaining if she did call.

In terms of excuses, I do think you need a hobby that you actually partake in. smiths' is very good, but you'd need to actually play golf. The gym is good too, as is swimming, and they have the added benefit of showering before heading home. I'd be tempted to punt then pop to the pool for a few lengths, shower and home. The downside though is you probably only have one pool/gym local and you could be checked up on.

Finally, I used to have a great relationship with a pal when I lived elsewhere. I'd cover for him and he'd cover for me. We'd also do plenty together anyway. On occasion we'd meet for a beer, go our separate ways for the real agenda, and then reconvene later before heading home 

[webpunter]

Finally, I used to have a great relationship with a pal when I lived elsewhere. I'd cover for him and he'd cover for me. We'd also do plenty together anyway. On occasion we'd meet for a beer, go our separate ways for the real agenda, and then reconvene later before heading home 

Punting with real mates is brilliant - especially abroad.  In your scenario in addition to cover for punting 'ops' there is the fun of the post punt analysis over a beer.  I've done this - have had to buy a paper to read in the boozer when my mate has decided to extend his booking - despite the fact that we'd agreed a maximum +30 mins [if available] & he's gone for +60

[Daffodil]

Punting with real mates is brilliant - especially abroad.  In your scenario in addition to cover for punting 'ops' there is the fun of the post punt analysis over a beer.  I've done this - have had to buy a paper to read in the boozer when my mate has decided to extend his booking - despite the fact that we'd agreed a maximum +30 mins [if available] & he's gone for +60

You need to council your mate on the dangers of EAS 

[webpunter]

You need to council your mate on the dangers of EAS 

What i said to him when he [sheepishly] appeared in the boozer was - 'you cunt faced twat - we had an agreement - you're buying the beers'.  Prior to this i sent a couple of suitable texts - from Nokia PAYG to Nokia PAYG, of course

[Turtle1]

Iv learned to go easy of too many actual facts about your self, an old friend actually realised it was me and gave me good telling off a few months ago. Lukily for me he pointed it out.