Sexy Candy Nicole - I like Her, So Will You

[Sylvester]

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So I saw Nicole today.  You know the girl - she had been very heavily reported on on these pages.  You either think she is amazing or overrated, you prefer her blond or brunette, that sort of thing.

Given that so much has been said, I thought rather than just write another review, I would copy and paste my post I made earlier today from another review.  This is because I'm feeling lazy, and I think this is more fun. It also sums up my views on some of the 'dramas' that seem to be created around this girl....

Well I'm very cross.

I've just been to see Nicole - review to follow in due course - and there was no sign of an Albanian, Turkish, North African or any other baddie from the 'Taken' franchise. I did briefly think I saw the little chap from 'Man With The Golden Gun', but it turned out to be a small child squinting.

Normally this would be good news, but seeing as I had gone to the trouble and expense of recruiting and importing an actual 6 man North Korean Death Squad as protection, I now feel rather foolish.  I had to get them in the country under the guise of a Chinese ballet troupe and they looked ridiculous frankly.

In the end they just sat around drinking strong tea and playing cards.  I think they've now fucked off to claim asylum.  I don't know where they are anyway.  I would advise if you see a group of surprisingly burly ballerinas with steely gazes coming your way, cross to the other side of the street.

On top of all of that, I'm pretty sure i'm now in breach of a number of quite serious international trade embargoes, which I know is going to disappoint my parents terribly.  So thanks West8.

Nicole was fucking great.  Really fucking great.

[west8]

Wait, Nicole is back? 

Nice one dude. Thanks for the tongue-in-cheek review. Funny + much appreciated!

[ram2184]

Wait, Nicole is back? 

Nice one dude. Thanks for the tongue-in-cheek review. Funny + much appreciated!

  to that westie

[PumpAction]

Maybe you should have done an actual review. Not sure what this is.

[306]

how about a review on a review ?

[Sylvester]

Maybe you should have done an actual review. Not sure what this is.

Not sure why you think that would make it legitimate to drivel on, but in any case this is a review that:

A) says that she was fucking great
B) provides my comment, in what I hoped was a satirical, funny way, on what I believe to be unfounded concerns raised in another review about the safety of visiting Nicole. 
C) commented on the fact that she has been very heavily reviewed / talked about on here - way too much probably

If you don't think any of those points are relevant, then I'm sorry. I think they are entirely relevant.   I don't do the 'I stuck it in there' type reviews, so if that's what you like, look elsewhere...

[PumpAction]

Not sure why you think that would make it legitimate to drivel on, but in any case this is a review that:

A) says that she was fucking great
B) provides my comment, in what I hoped was a satirical, funny way, on what I believe to be unfounded concerns raised in another review about the safety of visiting Nicole. 
C) commented on the fact that she has been very heavily reviewed / talked about on here - way too much probably

If you don't think any of those points are relevant, then I'm sorry. I think they are entirely relevant.   I don't do the 'I stuck it in there' type reviews, so if that's what you like, look elsewhere...

You made the review in (what you hoped would be) a satirical funny way in reference to west8 and then complain when people drone on about west8. That was my initial observation. I hadn't read your initial retort and, for others that haven't, this review may seem a little odd.

[Bangers and Gash]

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

So I saw Nicole today.  You know the girl - she had been very heavily reported on on these pages.  You either think she is amazing or overrated, you prefer her blond or brunette, that sort of thing.

Given that so much has been said, I thought rather than just write another review, I would copy and paste my post I made earlier today from another review.  This is because I'm feeling lazy, and I think this is more fun. It also sums up my views on some of the 'dramas' that seem to be created around this girl....

Well I'm very cross.

I've just been to see Nicole - review to follow in due course - and there was no sign of an Albanian, Turkish, North African or any other baddie from the 'Taken' franchise. I did briefly think I saw the little chap from 'Man With The Golden Gun', but it turned out to be a small child squinting.

Normally this would be good news, but seeing as I had gone to the trouble and expense of recruiting and importing an actual 6 man North Korean Death Squad as protection, I now feel rather foolish.  I had to get them in the country under the guise of a Chinese ballet troupe and they looked ridiculous frankly.

In the end they just sat around drinking strong tea and playing cards.  I think they've now fucked off to claim asylum.  I don't know where they are anyway.  I would advise if you see a group of surprisingly burly ballerinas with steely gazes coming your way, cross to the other side of the street.

On top of all of that, I'm pretty sure i'm now in breach of a number of quite serious international trade embargoes, which I know is going to disappoint my parents terribly.  So thanks West8.

Nicole was fucking great.  Really fucking great.

So...... did you actually fuck this pro$$ie or did you just put a scented envelope and bottle of cristal on the doorstep, ring the bell and go hide behind a corner, all out of breath and giggling like a 9 year old?

 

[Sylvester]

So...... did you actually fuck this pro$$ie or did you just put a scented envelope and bottle of cristal on the doorstep, ring the bell and go hide behind a corner, all out of breath and giggling like a 9 year old?

I'm not sure what gives you that impression fella.  Where in my review to I say anything whimsical or poetic about the girl?

Don't let that stop you from pursuing your narrative though...

[NightKid]

It would be really cool if just occasionally we could have a review without the thread being littered with boring, repetitive, irrelevant jibes.

I am absolutely no defender of West8, but rather than clutter up random reviews, why doesn't someone just set up a dedicated thread so you can get it all off your chest there.

It's just so tedious.

Get over yourself, the joke was lousy enough when it first came up. To then use it as a "review" is even more pathetic ... not to mention how incredibly patronising the title is. 

And if anyone has a problem with others commenting on a review thread, relevant or otherwise, then feel free to start complaining about it on the UKP general board, à la this guy.

[Sylvester]

Get over yourself, the joke was lousy enough when it first came up. To then use it as a "review" is even more pathetic ... not to mention how incredibly patronising the title is

Jeez - tough crowd!   

[Type_O_Negative]

 The authenticity or legitimacy of this member's profile has been brought into question. Please exercise caution.

Huh, Sergiei???

[IAMBATMAN]

This member's profile is set to distribute content only... WTF does that mean why cant i see a full profile

[JamesRockford]

Sylvester - that wasn't a very useful review to be honest, mate - a few more details on the booking, location, girl, services, pros and cons would be great. 

As to the two tag-team trolls on this thread: if you're going to be bitchy at least try to be funny - otherwise it's zzzzzz time.

[Rocket Scientist]

OK now.  I really do not want to start a panic on this forum but ....profile showing Erotic Content Provider 
External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

OMG

[Sylvester]

Sylvester - that wasn't a very useful review to be honest, mate - a few more details on the booking, location, girl, services, pros and cons would be great

You are probably right Jimbo.  I was just trying to do something a little different.  I was making the point that she is well reviewed, and is still excellent IMO.  I thought the most salient thing I could comment on was another reviews observation that he thought it might be a risky punt due to nefarious characters hanging about.  I didn't have any issue when I visited, so tried a bit of a pisstake.

I know that some people got the gag, but you can never please everyone...

[JamesRockford]

I hear you - Punting is usually a safe activity but we can all get unnerved after dark in a strange part of town. 

I saw Olivia a few days ago in Acton (yes, yes, review is on its way).  Leaving her building in a quiet backstreet in an estate with its fair share of parked taxis, white vans and caravans, and walking through the unlit car park in the dead of night (carrying my punting bag and sporting a gormless guilty smile) it was somewhat startling to suddenly see a parked silver Merc fire up its engine and the headlights come to life.  Westie's experience sprang to mind and as I walked briskly past the Merc I wouldn't have been surprised if a hairy squat ape in a black leather coat had come out saying "Hey... I know You Faakk my sister .... you faaakkkin bloody man ... pay me or I smash your head and then I dreeenk your blood."

Well that didn't happen.  I didn't look to see who it was but in all likelihood it was a shortarse ape in a black leather coat carrying a bunch of flowers - probably the next punter thinking "You faaaking baastard - I know where you been... hate you... I hoping she haff had shower after you but I suspecting no... Bloody!"

[Type_O_Negative]

I hear you - Punting is usually a safe activity but we can all get unnerved after dark in a strange part of town. 

I saw Olivia a few days ago in Acton (yes, yes, review is on its way).  Leaving her building in a quiet backstreet in an estate with its fair share of parked taxis, white vans and caravans, and walking through the unlit car park in the dead of night (carrying my punting bag and sporting a gormless guilty smile) it was somewhat startling to suddenly see a parked silver Merc fire up its engine and the headlights come to life.  Westie's experience sprang to mind and as I walked briskly past the Merc I wouldn't have been surprised if a hairy squat ape in a black leather coat had come out saying "Hey... I know You Faakk my sister .... you faaakkkin bloody man ... pay me or I smash your head and then I dreeenk your blood."

Well that didn't happen.  I didn't look to see who it was but in all likelihood it was a shortarse ape in a black leather coat carrying a bunch of flowers - probably the next punter thinking "You faaaking baastard - I know where you been... hate you... I hoping she haff had shower after you but I suspecting no... Bloody!"

You must be tough guy then - i wouldn't visit her after dark. That area is a wasteland. These gloomy and half empty tower blocks remind me dead towns from Chernobyl Zone...
When i decided to do a TOFTT with her i met a men in my dad's age in that corridor which leads to her flat. I hope it was her neighbour 

[Sylvester]

I saw Nicole again toward the end of the week, so thought I would update my review / provide some more useful information this time!

Booking made by phone, followed with AW booking.  The phone is answered by a (quite pleasant) receptionist.

Nicole is working out of a flat at the top of a block (4th floor).  Looks ex-council with Stairs only, no lift.  The location is almost exactly in between Kensal Green and Ladbroke Grove tube stations - a bit of a walk from either.  The flat is fine - no issues other than a hand held shower, which is not so bad when Nicole is in the bathroom with you.

As commented earlier, the location seems fine to me.  I went for an evening visit this time, and while the flats are on a fairly busy road - 25/30 cars parked in the immediate vicinity, there was nothing going on that I would perceive as threatening.

Nicole remains young, Polish, very pretty, and good fun to spend time with.  The hour went by way too quickly.  I will be going back as frequently as time and finances permit.

[Sylvester]

Teensy update.  Just to report that as of this morning, Nicole has ditched the vampy jet black hair and has returned to being a stunning blonde.  And she looks soooo much better for it too.

I thought some folk may be interested.

[backofthenet]

ta - same location as above?

[Sylvester]

ta - same location as above?

Same location as before - just a way hotter look!