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External Link/Members OnlyNoticed the new profile and the 2 pics gave the impression of a fairly hot 24yr old. Location is fairly close to me and I really could do with a massage (even if its more therapeutic than sensual). So I thought even if this was bad, I could at least get a decent massage.
Comms - fairly straight forward. Got sent a menu and confirmed there is a shower. Then 45mins before the booking I get a message asking to push back start time by half an hour. And immediately another message saying push back 15mins. I accept that and inform them that I can't really start later. I then hang out and suddenly get a message telling me she's home in time and what time will I reach there. Ask for the actual address... no reply. Park up near the post code (its a main road, double fucking yellows) and she's not responded to my message. Have to call... she declines and then replies. Its a side road. She asks me to park on her drive but thankfully I find space on the street and walk to her front door.
I believe its her home? But its in a fairly affluent part of town. So I am still expecting a fairly hot 24 year old.... I knock on the door. Spot the Ring doorbell (fml). Then spot the lady. Fuck... I hope thats not her... but nope... its her.
Not sure how to describe her, but maybe someone hitting their 30s, with unkept hair, not pretty, and around a size 10-12 in black baggy tracksuit bottoms and a top. Step inside and the home is akin to a stately home with lots of paintings and the like. Defo not my thing and felt... creepy?
Shown to the room. Bed in the corner. Some 'stuff' which I can't even describe around the room. But mostly tidy. There is a large mirror at the top of the bed where you can watch her in action (I didn't want to watch). Originally I had booked an hour (£90), but after the shocks, I asked to cut to 30mins... £80 (not great considering Lily in Romford is £110 for an hour). She directs me to strip and lay on the bed. She leaves and I get ready. Mentally thinking, the worst this could be is a shitty FBSM and a decent therapeutic massage...
She strips and really not my thing. She has a tummy. Boobs are droopy. A couple of tattoos. And a hairy bush (defo not my thing). Climbs onto the bed and uses a small amount of oil on my bum and back. Nothing on legs. But its so little oil that I am wondering if there is any point. But then I notice the oil is scented... arse. But at least there is a shower.
I then notice the noises in the house. There are defo people around. And it sounds like the shower is next to the room I am currently in. Phew - I don't need to go far, but I really don't want to be walking in her hallway, naked, to the shower. But I will deal with that later.
Massage is... meh. She does some b2b which is essentially her lying on top of me and using her hand to massage my shoulders. The boob slides are essentially her pushing to get herself up off my back. No CCs. No real fun... in some ways I am glad. Turn over. I don't want to look so I literally have my hand/arm under my head staring at the ceiling (there is no pillow so its uncomfortable as fuck).
She goes straight to HJ. A little oil and off we go and.... I swear she nearly castrated me. I winced. But she didn't notice. I have no idea what she was doing, but her HJ was akin to her holding a snake trying to ensure it doesn't spit at her with her trying to strangle it to death. I look down and she is staring at the little man intently trying to make it do something... while I am wincing hoping she notices my face. She doesn't... I have to ask her to stop and not worry. The trauma is over.
Lets quickly get a shower and get out. Planning how I will get there through the hallway. She gets a towel. Now, those of you who remember my review of Polish Blonde will know about the fucking loin cloth she gave me. Thankfully the one given to me was 4cm squared larger (sarcasm). Stood there thinking this is a mistake...? But nope, she's expecting me to wipe off and no offer of a shower. She wiped herself down while I was there thinking wtf. At least I won't be walking through her hallway, naked.
Wiped myself as best as I could and left. Got home and quickly jumped in the shower and had my story ready in case I was asked questions.
The only positive... she's a nice lady. Polite and tries to make small talk. Defo not the hot 24 year old in the pics (maybe a B&S if thats what you want to call it).
Onto the next one.
Topic: Nel TantricB2BNuru, Woodford/Chingford TOFTT (Read 919 times)