Unable to finish in my last 2 or 3 bookings

[deg_dilemma]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel my sex drive is down and I'm finding it difficult to cum when I'm either at a massage or with an escort.

It's happened to me in the last 3 meetings I've had. I've had to work hard to masturbate myself to finish. Maybe the massage HJ isn't so good but then even when with a SP last week I just couldn't get into the right headspace to finish. It's really making me feel shit.

Not sure what's going on. I have been stressed lately and also taken up smoking as a hobby. I'm in my late 40s but generally in good health, slim and a gym go-er (though I have stopped that in the past 3 months too).

It's really frustrating because I still get the horn and I want to visit more massages or escorts but I've now got this psychological issue that holds me back.

[RandomGuy99]

Smoking as a hobby

Are you a blue pill or other ED drug user?

[southcoastpunter]

As suggested by random guy some guys experience some difficulties with cumming when on ED meds! Many younger guys take ED not to help with getting an erection but to last longer!

But maybe it’s now in your head - and you are putting pressure on yourself! Why not just enjoy the “journey” towards an ending without worrying about whether you make it! Whilst nice, Good sex is not necessary about the 5 seconds finish!!

[Munter84]

It sounds psychological, stress is a very effective libido killer. Smoking will be doing your circulation and bloodflow no favours though, and quitting the gym is also unhelpful.

If its a very recent development don't let it get you down, accept that it's a temporary thing you're experiencing and keep going to massages with a positive attitude. If it becomes a long term thing then you should consider making some lifestyle changes and seeing a doctor.

[deg_dilemma]

I'm not on any ED meds and have never taken any such pills.

Stress/anxiety are playing a part I reckon and the smoking too, though it's a very recent thing and only 2 or 3 a day. Just feels like a male menopause moment but I hope it isn't

[Punting2022]

Korean ginsing. Works wonders

[deg_dilemma]

Korean ginsing. Works wonders

any specific one?

[MLawro93]

I had the same issue at the start of the year. I went a fair few punts without finishing, much to the annoyance of some regulars of mine. Which probably made it a bit worse, as suddenly you have a bit of pressure to finish! I stopped watching porn completely, limited how often I wank, and even changed my technique, so not as firm. It helped a bit, but ultimately it was more psychology, I had a rather large accumulation of stress. So I went to one regular a bit more often as she is a patient and kind person, and she helped me through the block.

[Pleasure4ever]

I cut on porn completely and no wanking for years now.
It resets your brain so much that I hardly ever get soft during the punt.
I’m in late 40’s and every morning get morning wood.
If you stressed go for a walk, eat well, walk after each meal and you’ll get the will to live and fuck.

[RandomGuy99]

any specific one?

Those with PE would envy your problem.

[Punting2022]

any specific one?

i buy these External Link/Members Only - 1 a day in morning

External Link/Members Only Also use this 1 a day.

Both of these i have energy in punts and training in general. Also does help to give downstairs a boost. Well i think so

[coachman]

i
Both of these i have energy in punts and training in general. Also does help to give downstairs a boost. Well i think so

Thanks was looking for sometghing to give energy boost. will order!

[fredhiggins]

Korean ginsing. Works wonders

any specific one?

South

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I've had this sometimes it seems that some ladies distract me, nice interesting line of chat can take my feeble  mind off the copulation matter!..

[MissWolf]

Smoking as a hobby is pretty much the worst 'hobby' to pick, its obviously addictive and smoking restricts the blood flow etc.

Eat healthy, take some exercise, cut out porn and wanking, give up the hobby asap and go forward from there

[MaxVerstappen]

Stress, midlife crisis, smoking etc all contribute to low sex drive.

Just take a break and try other things… there is more to life than paid sex. 

[MrMatrix]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel my sex drive is down and I'm finding it difficult to cum when I'm either at a massage or with an escort.

It's happened to me in the last 3 meetings I've had. I've had to work hard to masturbate myself to finish. Maybe the massage HJ isn't so good but then even when with a SP last week I just couldn't get into the right headspace to finish. It's really making me feel shit.

Not sure what's going on. I have been stressed lately and also taken up smoking as a hobby. I'm in my late 40s but generally in good health, slim and a gym go-er (though I have stopped that in the past 3 months too).

It's really frustrating because I still get the horn and I want to visit more massages or escorts but I've now got this psychological issue that holds me back.

Join the club. Been struggling for years. Could be watching too much porn

[MrMatrix]

I cut on porn completely and no wanking for years now.
It resets your brain so much that I hardly ever get soft during the punt.
I’m in late 40’s and every morning get morning wood.
If you stressed go for a walk, eat well, walk after each meal and you’ll get the will to live and fuck.

Probably sound advice. Ive stopped looking at porn for some time now. As yet not noticed any difference

[fredhiggins]

Hot weather doensn't help.

[Thephoenix]

I'm sure you can find a better hobby than smoking cancer sticks chum.
Plus the fact you'll stink and so will your clothes.

Other than that, plenty of good advice above. Good luck! 

[Nomerzypuntr]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel my sex drive is down and I'm finding it difficult to cum when I'm either at a massage or with an escort.

It's happened to me in the last 3 meetings I've had. I've had to work hard to masturbate myself to finish. Maybe the massage HJ isn't so good but then even when with a SP last week I just couldn't get into the right headspace to finish. It's really making me feel shit.

Not sure what's going on. I have been stressed lately and also taken up smoking as a hobby. I'm in my late 40s but generally in good health, slim and a gym go-er (though I have stopped that in the past 3 months too).

It's really frustrating because I still get the horn and I want to visit more massages or escorts but I've now got this psychological issue that holds me back.

Ok it’s simple to overcome this situation, seriously I’m not a professional, but some suggestions for you:
Write it down your problems in a paper
Include your routine- diet, exercise, hobbies, sexual desires
You will get an idea of yourself, then solution:
Hydration, Diet, Sleep well , avoid porn and masturbation.

Next time when you book an SP, go for 30 mins, do foreplay, little chat, avoid BJ / Handjob. Let your body feel the moment, ask BJ if you are not getting hard enough. Try new positions doing sex, doggy and missionary avoid this at first, Spooning good option. If things go better, keep doing regs, more time bookings. I had better sex with my reg only, whenever I go to new SP, I don’t cum fast with a BJ, as I don’t feel vibe right. My reg SP knew me very well, coz for us fucking don’t last for 5 mins, sex becomes better when SP don’t feel make us rushing, make us comfortable before and after fucking.

Just an opinion from my experience..

[bigbird]

I cant shoot my load when i am too warm...

[uncle jessie]

Try abstaining from porn and wanking for a few weeks , I bet  you will then have no trouble shooting a load .

[southcoastpunter]

Try abstaining from porn and wanking for a few weeks , I bet  you will then have no trouble shooting a load .

Not necessarily - ok I am a fair bit older than the Op, but don’t watch porn and rarely wank ( and often can’t cum doing that anyway) and still have the situation where, when having penetrative sex, sometimes I cum and sometimes I don’t! As said before ED meds can have that effect!

[Doc Holliday]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel my sex drive is down and I'm finding it difficult to cum when I'm either at a massage or with an escort.

You say you feel your sex drive is down and many of the replies here are primarily related to reasons you may be struggling to maintain an erection etc. Is that a problem or is it just difficulty reaching orgasm?

I am assuming you are not taking any medication which could be a factor. In particular SSRIs?

The smoking itself is unlikely (at this stage) to be a factor, but the wanting to start smoking at your age as 'a hobby' is bizarre and suggests you may have some issues?

[deg_dilemma]

You say you feel your sex drive is down and many of the replies here are primarily related to reasons you may be struggling to maintain an erection etc. Is that a problem or is it just difficulty reaching orgasm?

I am assuming you are not taking any medication which could be a factor. In particular SSRIs?

The smoking itself is unlikely (at this stage) to be a factor, but the wanting to start smoking at your age as 'a hobby' is bizarre and suggests you may have some issues?

No problem maintaining an erection, and I'm not on any ED or other meds. Just getting in the right frame of mind is difficult and my thoughts often wander on to other things rather than focussing on the action. So it's like I'm not getting into the mood and I get bored and can't reach orgasm. Most recently I booked 45 minutes with a SP (to be reviewed) and she was OK but I just didn't get into it and finished up with me wanking and leaving after just 20 minutes. So I did finish but forced myself to and it was a real waste of money and energy in the end.

I'm still horny nearly all of the time, which is why I still shop around for a massage or SP. I don't wank much now... jeez when I was younger it was very much a daily habit! I like to save the horn for actual SPs, so I'm a bit gutted it's not worked out well the past few times.

Re: smoking, I have smoked randomly in the past and I usually stop after a few weeks/months. It's nice to have one with a beer usually. Yes I have had personal issues this year. Truthfully it's been one of the worst years of my life, but I will work through this, and life is OK otherwise.

[Doc Holliday]

No problem maintaining an erection, and I'm not on any ED or other meds. Just getting in the right frame of mind is difficult and my thoughts often wander on to other things rather than focussing on the action. So it's like I'm not getting into the mood and I get bored and can't reach orgasm. Most recently I booked 45 minutes with a SP (to be reviewed) and she was OK but I just didn't get into it and finished up with me wanking and leaving after just 20 minutes. So I did finish but forced myself to and it was a real waste of money and energy in the end.

I'm still horny nearly all of the time, which is why I still shop around for a massage or SP. I don't wank much now... jeez when I was younger it was very much a daily habit! I like to save the horn for actual SPs, so I'm a bit gutted it's not worked out well the past few times.

Re: smoking, I have smoked randomly in the past and I usually stop after a few weeks/months. It's nice to have one with a beer usually. Yes I have had personal issues this year. Truthfully it's been one of the worst years of my life, but I will work through this, and life is OK otherwise.

Thanks for the reply and clarification. Sorry to hear you have had such a bad year and hope this improves. I would suggest this is likely to be behind your recent troubles. Would suggest a visit to GP if you haven't already? 

[runner in the woods]

Having had similar on odd occasions, it's likely stress to perform, Blueys also stop me cumming. But if the girl will give you the finger, that usually gets me over the line

[scutty brown]

cut the fags
cut the booze
eat healthy
check your blood pressure
loose weight
if that doesn't work see your GP
do you have ED? any kind of leg cramps?
could be worth asking about diabetes or thyroid problems
anything pointing towards a neurological problem - i.e. hand or body tremors, areas of skin which are desensitised, weird muscle pains

[Iamforreal]

No problem maintaining an erection, and I'm not on any ED or other meds. Just getting in the right frame of mind is difficult and my thoughts often wander on to other things rather than focussing on the action. So it's like I'm not getting into the mood and I get bored and can't reach orgasm. Most recently I booked 45 minutes with a SP (to be reviewed) and she was OK but I just didn't get into it and finished up with me wanking and leaving after just 20 minutes. So I did finish but forced myself to and it was a real waste of money and energy in the end.

I'm still horny nearly all of the time, which is why I still shop around for a massage or SP. I don't wank much now... jeez when I was younger it was very much a daily habit! I like to save the horn for actual SPs, so I'm a bit gutted it's not worked out well the past few times.

Re: smoking, I have smoked randomly in the past and I usually stop after a few weeks/months. It's nice to have one with a beer usually. Yes I have had personal issues this year. Truthfully it's been one of the worst years of my life, but I will work through this, and life is OK otherwise.

If you haven't already maybe try mindfulness 

[candec]

I had the same problem a while back. It might be sleep related and being tired. It helped when I used public transport to reduce the amount I walked to the destination. Good luck, I know it is very frustrating.

[alabama1]

I reckon it's down to stress OP. I had the same problem/cause few years ago. Try not to make a big thing out of it. It will sort itself out. 

[Momodan38]

Is penetration sex the only thing you enjoy OP? Are there other activities you can focus on like BJ, kissing or any other type of fetish to still get enjoyment from a punt?

You might find your problem fixed once you take the pressure off and just enjoy the other parts of the punt. I still have issues every now and then. I just don’t care, if I can’t get and stay erect then I’ll simply do all the other stuff I enjoy, I’ll try and get a HJ, if the SP is crap at it then I’ll just wank myself off.

As others have pointed out, this may be due to the new “stress” in your life. Try and get a handle on it, if it’s something beyond your control then just teach/tell yourself that booking an SP is a well deserved and well earned treat that will also help you deal with whatever stress you are facing.

I would also advise seeing a doctor/therapist if you feel this is becoming a real issue.

All the best.

[WelshClipper]

I cut on porn completely and no wanking for years now.
It resets your brain so much that I hardly ever get soft during the punt.
I’m in late 40’s and every morning get morning wood.
If you stressed go for a walk, eat well, walk after each meal and you’ll get the will to live and fuck.

This 

Been trying to read if the OP is a heavy porn user. Can’t quite figure it out. But it takes more than a few weeks to rewire your brain if you’re a heavy user. 30 days to 90 days in some cases. It’s the dopamine receptors that need fixing and that doesn’t happen overnight. Relapses resets the clock to make it worse.

[Punting2022]

The male orgasm is complex
Mind and health have to be there.
Thing is they work against each other. So if the mind is ok but bad health, it dont happen. But as health improves, mind still thinks will it hapoen, then it doesnt. Thats the mind then playing and stopping it. Ends up being a cycle then.

Best way. Take a long break, dont think bout it. Next time you be super horney will happen in like 2 mins

[Doc Holliday]

Been trying to read if the OP is a heavy porn user. Can’t quite figure it out.

I'm still horny nearly all of the time, which is why I still shop around for a massage or SP. I don't wank much now... jeez when I was younger it was very much a daily habit!

The discussion around porn is complex and frequently too much emphasis is given in relation to its 'across the board' role in psychosexual dysfunction.

"The relationship between pornography consumption and erectile dysfunction remains a subject of ongoing research and debate within the medical community. Currently, there is no official consensus establishing a direct causal link between pornography use and ED, though some studies suggest potential associations in certain contexts.

Some observational studies have reported correlations between frequent pornography use and sexual difficulties, including reduced erectile function, decreased sexual satisfaction, and lower libido with real-life partners. Hypothesised mechanisms include desensitisation to sexual stimuli, whereby repeated exposure to highly stimulating visual content may potentially alter arousal patterns and expectations. This phenomenon is sometimes termed "pornography-induced erectile dysfunction" in popular literature, though it is important to note this is not a formally recognised medical diagnosis in clinical classification systems such as ICD-11 or DSM-5.

Methodological limitations in existing research make it difficult to establish causation. Many studies rely on self-reported data, which can be subject to bias, and fail to adequately control for confounding variables such as underlying psychological conditions, relationship quality, or pre-existing sexual difficulties. Some research has found no significant association between pornography use and erectile function, whilst other studies suggest that the relationship may be mediated by psychological factors rather than representing a direct physiological effect.

Neither NICE nor standard diagnostic classifications currently recognise pornography-induced ED as a distinct clinical entity. However, the ICD-11 does include "compulsive sexual behaviour disorder" which may encompass problematic pornography use in some cases. Clinicians increasingly acknowledge that pornography use patterns may be relevant to consider within the broader psychosexual assessment, particularly when patients report difficulties with arousal in partnered contexts but not with pornographic material. Individual variation in susceptibility appears significant, with some men reporting no impact whilst others describe substantial effects on their sexual function."

Poor male masturbation technique resulting in so called 'death grip' in males, may be a physical factor but this is a result of such poor technique rather than use of pornography. Correcting such technique in particular using edging often in conjunction with porn is required.

External Link/Members Only

[Doc Holliday]

The male orgasm is complex

It can be, but in most instances it is not. Like most species sex is for procreation and this means human males were primarily wired to penetrate and ejaculate within a relatively short space of time. This is still the case for many, but we have also evolved to see sex as a recreational activity and the complexities this can result in.

The female orgasm is far more complex. While the female sexual organs have also deigned to find the process of procreation pleasurable, orgasm is not a requirement for procreation.

However the same recreational sex process, means they actually have the ability to have far more intense orgasms and more frequently, though rarely within the short time period needed for procreation.

[WelshClipper]

The discussion around porn is complex and frequently too much emphasis is given in relation to its 'across the board' role in psychosexual dysfunction.

"The relationship between pornography consumption and erectile dysfunction remains a subject of ongoing research and debate within the medical community. Currently, there is no official consensus establishing a direct causal link between pornography use and ED, though some studies suggest potential associations in certain contexts.

Some observational studies have reported correlations between frequent pornography use and sexual difficulties, including reduced erectile function, decreased sexual satisfaction, and lower libido with real-life partners. Hypothesised mechanisms include desensitisation to sexual stimuli, whereby repeated exposure to highly stimulating visual content may potentially alter arousal patterns and expectations. This phenomenon is sometimes termed "pornography-induced erectile dysfunction" in popular literature, though it is important to note this is not a formally recognised medical diagnosis in clinical classification systems such as ICD-11 or DSM-5.

Methodological limitations in existing research make it difficult to establish causation. Many studies rely on self-reported data, which can be subject to bias, and fail to adequately control for confounding variables such as underlying psychological conditions, relationship quality, or pre-existing sexual difficulties. Some research has found no significant association between pornography use and erectile function, whilst other studies suggest that the relationship may be mediated by psychological factors rather than representing a direct physiological effect.

Neither NICE nor standard diagnostic classifications currently recognise pornography-induced ED as a distinct clinical entity. However, the ICD-11 does include "compulsive sexual behaviour disorder" which may encompass problematic pornography use in some cases. Clinicians increasingly acknowledge that pornography use patterns may be relevant to consider within the broader psychosexual assessment, particularly when patients report difficulties with arousal in partnered contexts but not with pornographic material. Individual variation in susceptibility appears significant, with some men reporting no impact whilst others describe substantial effects on their sexual function."

Poor male masturbation technique resulting in so called 'death grip' in males, may be a physical factor but this is a result of such poor technique rather than use of pornography. Correcting such technique in particular using edging often in conjunction with porn is required.

External Link/Members Only

Whilst I appreciate what you are saying, there is equally a lot of science supporting the brains ability to reset itself after porn usage stops. There is a lot of bullshit, I agree but articles like this seem to support that there is, at least, something in it.

External Link/Members Only

[Doc Holliday]

Whilst I appreciate what you are saying, there is equally a lot of science supporting the brains ability to reset itself after porn usage stops. There is a lot of bullshit, I agree but articles like this seem to support that there is, at least, something in it.

External Link/Members Only

I don't disagree. I didn't mean there was nothing in it. I said ..

The discussion around porn is complex and frequently too much emphasis is given in relation to its 'across the board' role in psychosexual dysfunction.

Whenever any sexual dysfunction topic crops up (and they often do) inevitably many people post saying you need to "stop wanking" or "stop watching porn". Sometimes it may be of relevance in combination with other factors, but I suggest rarely is it the main or sole factor. It may well not be a factor at all?

The discussion around dopamine is equally complex. What is beneficial for one may not be for another. The 'dopamine hits' we experience, from whatever stimulus, may lead to damaging addictive behaviour in one individual and be beneficial in another.

I agree such addictive behavior, has the potential to be reversed but that is not straightforward either 

If it was easy we could all stop craving sex as of tomorrow


 

[WelshClipper]

And for my part I just wanted to say that dopamine desensitisation is a real scientific argument although as you say, may work for some. I agree that the reset may not work for all.

There is no magic bullet.

 

[deg_dilemma]

Well I finally managed to finish. Latest review added now - though it was a Negative - at least I managed to end it on my terms!

I am still yet to add other reviews for massages and an escort where I didn't finish well. Those were prior to my latest review (Thai escort Kim).

[Fookmefooku]

Not to be that guy. But if your insisting on smoking, try shift to pouches or vapes. Do they look stupid? Yes. Are they NHS proven to be better for you and way cheaper? Yes. If not for yourself, put the savings towards your punting budget

[fredhiggins]

I'd avoid those pouches/Snus stuff. Stick to a vape

[B4bcock]

Well I finally managed to finish. Latest review added now - though it was a Negative - at least I managed to end it on my terms!

Care to share what has made the difference?  Plenty of members have given up their time to give you advice and I'm sure they would love to know what action, if any, you have taken to solve the problem.

[KermitLeFroggy]

I'm old and it can happen a lot with me. I now realise it's the pressure to perform. This even applies to just a sensual massage. If you don't cum or even maintain an erection not only do you feel a failure you can tell the lady is disappointed and feels bad because she feels she is not skilled enough.

If this happens a few times I do a mental reset and go for a massage with no intention of finishing. I am completely passive and just lie there and soak it up. I make sure the lady knows I have no expectations, have no intention to give her any pleasure and simply want to be worked on. The end result is often very rewarding.

[Juno]

This 

Been trying to read if the OP is a heavy porn user. Can’t quite figure it out. But it takes more than a few weeks to rewire your brain if you’re a heavy user. 30 days to 90 days in some cases. It’s the dopamine receptors that need fixing and that doesn’t happen overnight. Relapses resets the clock to make it worse.

You seem quite knowledgeable on this. I'm hoping you might be able to give me some clearer insight please? I've been looking through previous posts and there's plenty of comments saying to give up porn, but nothing on how....

Can you do some sort of tapering process? Or is cold turkey the only solution?

Either way, it sounds pretty uncomfortable. And destined to fail without having coping skills established.

I guess that depends on the severity of the porn addiction right. I don't have a figure, and can't  ask for that kind of sensitive info. What constitutes as an addiction? On my end, I'm only seeing the performance and behavioral side of it.

If that point they decide to go cold turkey, what does that recovery timeline look like, realistically?

Sorry for the dozen questions, and Iappreciate you may not be able to answer them all (if any.)

[Ligan]

Sounds like you just need to try something new.

I had this problem for a while so decided to try massages. Brought back the buzz.

[Arripotter1971]

Despite the obvious health risks of smoking - seems crazy to me how anyone would smoke cigarettes or vapes (The great unknown) but think of all the extra punts you could have with cigarettes at £15 a pack !!!!!
Hope you can find an alternative stress relief than them, and find an answer to your little problem - Good luck....

[maybe]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel my sex drive is down and I'm finding it difficult to cum when I'm either at a massage or with an escort.

It's happened to me in the last 3 meetings I've had. I've had to work hard to masturbate myself to finish. Maybe the massage HJ isn't so good but then even when with a SP last week I just couldn't get into the right headspace to finish. It's really making me feel shit.

Not sure what's going on. I have been stressed lately and also taken up smoking as a hobby. I'm in my late 40s but generally in good health, slim and a gym go-er (though I have stopped that in the past 3 months too).

It's really frustrating because I still get the horn and I want to visit more massages or escorts but I've now got this psychological issue that holds me back.

This has also happened to me, these below had affected my performance and drive:
- Stress and lack of sleep
- Not enough water
- Too much self service
- Too much porn

Ultimately for me, it was about getting the frequency of punting right that works for my body. Although I can self service more often, wanting to punt means I need to abstain from porn and self service for about a week. CIM helps with the frequency thing but popping in the bag is almost impossible for me if I don't follow this rule. It took a number of punts and quite a few years of $$$ for me to learn this about myself.

Another thing to consider, is the session bad if you don't finish? Sometimes, I been sucked and fucked the whole session and can still leave quite satisfied and not feel that there is an unscratched itch and have no need to release afterwards. This is a more recent development for me and I rarely felt this way in my early years of punting though.

[coachman]

This has also happened to me, these below had affected my performance and drive:
- Stress and lack of sleep
- Not enough water
- Too much self service
- Too much porn

Ultimately for me, it was about getting the frequency of punting right that works for my body. Although I can self service more often, wanting to punt means I need to abstain from porn and self service for about a week. CIM helps with the frequency thing but popping in the bag is almost impossible for me if I don't follow this rule. It took a number of punts and quite a few years of $$$ for me to learn this about myself.

Another thing to consider, is the session bad if you don't finish? Sometimes, I been sucked and fucked the whole session and can still leave quite satisfied and not feel that there is an unscratched itch and have no need to release afterwards. This is a more recent development for me and I rarely felt this way in my early years of punting though.

useful information for the community, thank you, I resonate with what you wrote! Just goes to show we are always learning about ourselves and sometimes taking a step back and reevaluating things can be beneficial.