Oriental Massage Woking - Mei-sha? - Legit

[albi0908]

Quick one in context of all the Jessie excitment to flag a recent visit to Oriental Massage. Not sure if it was before or after Jessie-gate...

TL;DR - extremely good legit massage from a petite, slim, attractive, 30-something Chinese lady - not a hint of any extras but I would have keenly indulged had they been offered.

Has some time to kill in Woking and Oriental Massage has been on my radar for a long time.

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Premises been described many times here - quite nicely done - would say above average for this type of establishment. For shyer punters, above average levels of discretion when going in and can leave by rear entrance. But if you are coming from the station like I was there is the long walk of shame down the Chertsey Road.

£45 for 45 mins.

Greeted by a slim, 5' 1", 30-something, moderately attractive Chinese lady. Took the money and disappeared for a few minutes as usual before returning and it was clear that she would be doing the massage. Dressed in what I would describe a beautician's coat. She told me that there was one other girl working there that day, but I didn't see anyone.

No instructions so got my kit off and lay down as usual.

Friendly, confirmed she is chinese and been here a good while (10 years?) so decent english. Her name sounded something like Miso but that doesn't seem to be a legit Chinese name so my guess would be Mei-sha (but given they all move around so much that is a pretty moot point). But TBH not really sure I've got the name right - it definitely wasn't Jessie 

Anyway, I needed a good massage after first gym visit since my health issues in Jan and that I certainly got. Decent pressure with regular checks it was correct, very systematic and would rank in top 10% of masseuses.

Above average amount of time spent on head massage - that might be a issue depending on your hair and if you are going home soon after as it got very messed up. By now we must have been 30 mins in and I was starting to worry there there wouldn't be enough time for some fun.

BUT - not even a hint of a reach under or CC swipe. Upper thigh and butt work was very good but skilfully avoided the tackle brushes we all hope for during the WSWS phase. Asked if I wanted a front massage - yes please. No whispers in ear re BtB or HE - towel placed to cover me up and the excellent massage continued. I think she might have touched my dick twice but almost certainly by accident.

On we go until time is up - nice wipe down, get dressed and off I toddle using the entrance at the rear to leave.

SO - it was a great massage but I was feeling pretty horny and would have happily shelled out £50 or £60 for BtB as she was well above average.

Not sure what the form is for rating these situations - as a legit massage it was very good and so I suppose logically it must be a positive. But I was looking for more so left feeling a bit disappointed.

I will probably go back and try my luck again one day, but I REALLY wish there was some was we could reliably find out who we are going to see and what services they offer when we go to these establisments. UKP community tries its best, but the regular movement and lack of any profiles with genuine photos makes it nigh on impossible...

[Dead Wood]

Intriguing. I've been to this place several times over the years, and there are always extras on offer. 

They have occassionally texted me after asking me - in effect - not to review my experience.  I've always assumed this means not writing a Google review along the lines of 'this place does bloody great happy endings'.

I suppose they must get a good percentage of their business from legitimate customers, so the last thing they want is to offer sexual services to one of those in error.  As this would be bad for business, and maybe get them in trouble with landlords etc.

My working theory is that there is a screening process at work in these places from the moment you walk through the door so they can work out which camp you are in.  Subtle winks and nudges.  My advice is to get naked as quickly as you can, as a tap on the bottom as you walk to the shower generally means you are home and dry.  This place - and others like it - ususally want to get you naked and on the massage table before they will discuss extras.  I guess maybe because then you've crossed an invisible line?

But this is all speculation.  I'd love to know exactly how these places work.  As it is my biggest challenge is always how to indentify and book any youthful cuties on the rota, as opposed to ending up with those strapping 'mama-san' types with hairy arms. 

 

[webpunter]

Solid observations
Deffo screening in play
Whilst they don't want to offer xtras to blokes actually seeking a legit massage [weird or council inspectors] there is the motivation for increased earnings
As you mention the screening starts straight away & if a glass fronted establishment & they can see you how you approach also
Looking nervous & you are rapidly approaching the no xtras camp
A friendly but confident approach is needed
If asked have you been here before the answer is always yes - like last year adding 'it was very good lots of fun ...' blah blah
Clobber off rapido a solid pointer
If you then get asked how you like massage soft medium hard my answer is 'sexy'
Careful folding of clotes with jeans on top with a score poking out of the back pocket doesn't do any harm
Tho these days best a tenner folded inside this R&T inflation etc
A tap on the bum 
At the Addlestone R&T when it was asian run [now brazza] the whirlwind Charlie would provide a firm slap adding 'naughty boy' you were home & dry   

[adders]

Will try to pop in this week and report back.

[Chazz]

I've visited this establishment half a dozen times and have always been offered extras. I must look the type, lol. I'm always amused by the signs in the room saying, "ABSOLUTELY NO SEXUAL SERVICES!!!" I once visited a place in Stafford that was well reviewed on here and received a brilliant but completely legit massage and no hint of anything else. I commiserate as it's a most frustrating experience, but it sounds like you were just unlucky and got the one legit-only masseuse who's ever worked there.

[Chazz]

I've managed to find the review I did on my Stafford experience. Sometimes the Punting Gods frown on you:

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=351380.0

[albi0908]

All good observations - TBH this is the first and only time across several establishments and lots of massages that I've not been offered extras.

I'm late 60s but look much younger (55 is the median guess) - I'm not fat, ugly or smelly - girls seem genuinely pleased/happy when they see me (after adjusting for all the fakery and flattery) - so def not screened out for that reason!! Was wearing my gardening jeans so probably looked a bit scruffy, but def not in office work clothes (i.e. council inspector - although I guess they might go in "undercover" mode). I'm not even 1% shy so got naked quickly. Been punting on and off since 2004 so very confident in these situations and not at all nervous. And this place is very easy to access and just walk up to and go in.

Anyway looks like somehow I must have given off the "looking for legit" vibe. Thanks for the suggestions/theories - I'll work on some of the tips shared above to try to avoid this happening again!

[albi0908]

As it is my biggest challenge is always how to indentify and book any youthful cuties on the rota, as opposed to ending up with those strapping 'mama-san' types with hairy arms. 

 

Couldn't agree more - my nearest one is Natural Relax in Brookwood and I have been fairly successful in sussing out the talent using the drive-by or walk-by strategy as they have their little kitchen/office right by the front door so you can often see straight in. They sometimes clock you doing that which is fine - I'm happy to make eye contact and smile if they look interesting. And although I have had a handful of successes there, the number I have clocked from the outside where they would have to pay me at leat £100 to indulge is shocking - appalling quality control by whoever is in charge.

[sorcam28]

Wonder if they’re being a bit careful due to Jessie-gate. Wish I’d never reviewed her lol!

[Yelowman]

I’ve been away! What happened with Jessie

[sorcam28]

I’ve been away! What happened with Jessie

I (in hindsight) wrote too glowing a review of her services on here and it’s increased calls to the parlour and they’re not too happy. Read it if you get a second and some of the associated comments.

[Dead Wood]

If asked have you been here before the answer is always yes - like last year adding 'it was very good lots of fun ...'

Agreed. They pretty much always ask this, and the answer you give will be another clue for them.

I've had the 'naughty boy' tap on the bum many times.  lol.

[webpunter]

Agreed. They pretty much always ask this, and the answer you give will be another clue for them.

I've had the 'naughty boy' tap on the bum many times.  lol.

Its all about the clues
I think of it like providing a trail of breacrumbs
Relaying lots of fun / v.good with big eyes a teeny wink & a smile

Charlie in Addlestone delivered more what could be described as a light spank rather than a tap
I was in FDM & she caught me off guard made me jump a bit the 1st time
Which added to her amusement with a giggle naughty boy etc

She breezed very slowly round the bench going towards my feet
& after the bum slap she gently grazed her nails on one hand down my crack then inner thigh
Rounding the foot of the bench she was slowly back up the other side this time gentle nails of her other hand the reverse inner thigh to crack lingering on the latter
Adding something along the lines of 'so what are we going to do today then ?'
As if she didn't know
It felt electric i was like a lamb to the slaughter   

 

[bigboy96]

I've been to this establishment several times over the years and have always had a happy ending, occasionally a covered BJ. Maybe they are being careful now. If they ask if I've been here before, this goes for any shop, I always say 'Yes, always a nice time here with nice girls'

This shop is unique in that the rear entrance is not only busier than the front, with far more people and cars passing, there is a huge sign over the door, leaving anyone who sees you leave in no doubt as to what's behind the door, so I always leave by the front.

[larrybanger]

i used to regularly visit the establishment.
They usually ask the leading question - "have you been here before?". If you say yes they know the score.
it also helps to lie down in a relaxed pose keeping your legs slightly apart so they get the view and know you are game!

I hit a massage place in burton-on-trent one afternoon, after seeing some reviews on here. Got a gorgeous spanish girl, the massage was great and all legit. I asked twice about extras - wasn't sure she heard. When she had finished I just blurted it out, she was a bit taken back and fumbled out £40. I said sure. She then dropped her top and jerked me off - it was mechanical but did the trick. helps she was a stunner who you could have easiliy bumped into in a bar.

So if you don't ask you don't get!