In Ipswich on business, so called ahead to see who was working and what the deal was with booking ahead.
CommsPushy receptionist, didn't want to give out information or be helpful - just demanding "when you are coming" and that was it. Text messages followed, not much more info except "three girls working...." and a price list.
LocationDid a drive by check on the way to my hotel; pretty rough area, but reasonable free parking so made an appointment for later
PremisesAs obvious as they come. Rang to check the door was open, as it's really exposed, but it opened quickly on arrival
Service Provider
The door was opened by a fairly dumpy Chinese woman dressed like an anime teenager (only not as cute. And defintely not a teenager)
I asked innocently "are you the lady?" to be greeted with a rather aggressive "what - you want to see other girl?" at which point I was very polite and said "no - you're pretty...that's fine..." Should have walked at that point.
Anyway, £30 door fee so not down too much so far. What could go wrong?!
The main eventEntered tiny room with a massage table and a sink (for endless washing routines, it turned out...)
Told to strip off while she left and stashed the cash. A few minutes later she came back, and the massage started. Nothing to write home about - no conversation or connection; pretty lacklustre; no personality or atmosphere, and no CC wipes / reach unders to suggest there might be more on offer. A really cold experience...
On the turn, out of the blue, "you want extras?" at which point we wasted 5 minutes haggling over possible options; a real passion killer.
Opted for £50 "B2B massage and HE" - which I had to pay for upfront. Yet more reaching in pockets and messing about while the sap drained, then onto my back for the "B2B" . Disturbingly large swelling under one of her armpits - tried to ignore it and focus on the delights to follow.
"B2B" was basically a couple of rubs of her tits on my chest, a bit of a nipple bite, then she turned round and grabbed by dick and started yanking. Had a bit of a fumble with her pussy, but had lost the will to live at this point - no sensuality, no build-up....just grabbing me so I'd cum and go.
So I did.
It's funny how these really "Meh" SP's do a shit job, wank you off, and then spend all the time while you're finding your socks and stuff trying to be chatty and asking "you happy....you OK???" repeatedly, as if they know you're going to post a review. It's a shame they don't spend a bit more time giving a shit while they're actually ON the job
SummaryDrove back to my hotel, had a beer and a wank, and felt a lot better. Regretting the wasted £80 in the meantime, but post-rationailsed it that Two Pops made it roughly OK - even if the second one was on my own, with a beer in my hand in a hotel room.
Would I return? I know it's pot-luck with these places, and sometimes you get lucky. But on this occasion I didn't.
No idea how long she's staying (and maybe that's why the receptionist gives out zero details, so you don't pick up it's the lacklustre old boot you saw two weeks ago, so give it a miss) but on this performance....
Absolutely not.
The beer and the wank at the "after-party" was the best bit of my early evening, and I could have done that and still had £80 change for a decent curry out in town.
#Edit - it started as "pretty dumpy" which was misleading. If she'd been "pretty" AND "dumpy" it would have been a huge improvement. In reality, she was "fairly" dumpy - as it "quite / rather / somewhat" rather than "pretty" as such...
