Would it be weird if I was seeking a punting buddy?This hobby is a lonely one:(

[Adam_h10]

Haven’t been at this punting game for long but so far my indecisiveness has been my number one cock blocker. I’ll spend hours searching viva and adult work fussing over who I should go to that I end up just shooting a load down the shitter. In hind sight, I wouldn’t mind a more experienced punter giving me some tips on who to go to and who to avoid. But more importantly, this new hobby can be a lonely one and I’m always overthinking whenever I do go to punts/massage shops/strip clubs worrying about who’s watching me go into these establishments. I can’t let my friends know about these activities cause they’ll just say “why don’t you just get a girl and not pay for it” they don’t understand that this is a HOBBY and hobby costs money sometimes and plus the thrill turns me on. Why can’t this be treated like other hobbies where we go off and punt or get massages and/or hit the strip clubs, enjoy ourselves and then regroup get a bite to eat or a drink and have a little post coitus discussion and a laugh? We don’t even have to go to the same brothels/escorts we can seperate and then meet up after. Kind of like playing Pokémon go but we’re on the hunt for minge instead of Pokémon’s lol. We can even take our punting activities global and have a lads holiday with the goal of fucking. My current friend group just don’t get it 😔 I mean we’ve been to Morocco and had fun with some hammam sluts but I want it to be a daily occurrence not just a one time thing for “bants”. Oh and just to put it out there I’m straight as fuck!
P.S if there’s anyone out there who already has a punting buddy let me know how it’s going 

[Illuminated4000]

I agree with you, actually I was just thinking this today and recently, how I have no-one to share this with beyond anonymity. I even thought about the idea of punting clubs and meet-ups to assuage the loneliness this hobby can come with.

[MLawro93]

You've been on the forum since 2021 so not exactly new to this, but I get the core of what you're saying. This side of life can feel isolating when you've got nobody to talk to about it. Most of us here have felt that to some degree. It's one of the reasons forums like this exist.

A couple of things worth reflecting on though. The language in your post is going to put a lot of people off here, and not because anyone's being precious. The women you're seeing are real people doing a job. The way you talk about them, even casually, shapes how you treat them. Most regulars here have learned that the better experiences come from mutual respect, not from treating it like a safari.

I'd also gently flag the hobby framing. Nothing wrong with enjoying this part of your life, but hours lost to indecision and wanting it to be a daily occurrence is worth sitting with honestly. Hobbies enrich your life. If this one is consuming it, that's a different conversation.

As for the punting buddy idea, I'd be cautious. Discretion protects you and the providers you see. The more people involved, the more that unravels.

[Adam_h10]

Totally understand where you’re coming from. Just to note, as childish as i sound about punting im fully aware that escorts are real people and i assure you all the women who i have paid for their services have been treated with respect lol i am a pleaser at heart and Im indecisive about everything I even spend hours on uber eats before I I say fuck it and get the same thing I always get 🤣
I know this is meant to be a discreet thing we do in order to satisfy our male desires but that’s exactly why I made this post. I’d rather make a friend who does this already than try and get my friends at home to adopt this lifestyle not knowing the consequences that it would bring.

[yesbby]

There’s a reason why it’s secretive and considered shameful. Pretending otherwise is a fool’s game in my opinion. Just because you have a secret dark side shouldn’t mean you demand the world sees it as acceptable. I know of two high quality women who recently left their nearly ideal relationships because their significant other saw a prostitute (only once in both cases) - one found out her fiancé saw a hooker in Dubai, thousands of miles away. Everyone in her life agrees with her that she is better off out of the relationship, which had all the promise she could wish for. That’s how it’s viewed.

There are also reasons why it’s the oldest profession in the world but you sound like you’d rather change your moral structure than accept how life is and keep schtum about your choices. That would be more comfortable in some ways but you’d end up as an outcast in one way or another.

[Stevelondon]

I meet up with like minded folk socially. Not as often as we used to mind you.
I’m talking of fetish/BDSM circles here where making friendships seem far easier. There was always some fetish event going on somewhere and I think The London Fetish Fair is still going in London.
I used to meet some friends years back when it was held in a pub in North London. Subs, doms (lifestyle and pro) vendors etc.
Happy days.

On another tack. When some friends of mine ran the occasional sex party at the Sutton big house. I attended a few times in a social capacity. You sometimes got a couple of mates coming along to enjoy themselves. Bit of sex, bit of banter, off to the pub after. ……what’s not to like.

Some pals of mine regularly went off to Bangkok for sex holidays.
Just not my style though. 🤷🏼

[LanceVance]

This forum is probably the closest you will get to having any sort of camaraderie in this scene. As others have already said, the anonymity is necessary for a host of reasons, and there may well be a time in your life when you will appreciate it.

Even if there was the possibility of socialising in a sex-based setting, it will still end up being separate to your personal life. I am part of scenes away from punting where I may see the same people at particular parties or privately arranged gangbangs and exchange pleasant conversation with them in those events, but will never see them in any other setting, or even know their real names. That is for the best as we all have real lives to protect and keep insulated from this hobby. It is a bit crap, but it is what it is. 

[shant999]

I was silent for years!!

I let other family and friends descretely open up to this life style. In the last few years I have been suprised how common its is within my group! 

I have to admit I have never confessed to anyone, its just been people around me that opened up? The knowing smiles when a certain place is mentioned in a male group. But not fro everyone

But it has added to the enjoyment and disposed of all the stigma in my mind associated with this activty.

[Tekka123]

I usually punt 3 girls per month. Punting is an expensive hobby - and it is getting more expensive. But agree, it would be so great to share stories, talk about punts, and have a laugh.

I an new on this website - but would love to share my extensive experiences

[BillT]

There’s a reason why it’s secretive and considered shameful. Pretending otherwise is a fool’s game in my opinion. Just because you have a secret dark side shouldn’t mean you demand the world sees it as acceptable. I know of two high quality women who recently left their nearly ideal relationships because their significant other saw a prostitute (only once in both cases) - one found out her fiancé saw a hooker in Dubai, thousands of miles away. Everyone in her life agrees with her that she is better off out of the relationship, which had all the promise she could wish for. That’s how it’s viewed.

There are also reasons why it’s the oldest profession in the world but you sound like you’d rather change your moral structure than accept how life is and keep schtum about your choices. That would be more comfortable in some ways but you’d end up as an outcast in one way or another.

This.

Many years ago a friend admitted going to the local parlour. I had seen several escorts by this time. But even though he was a good freind. I didnt admit it to him. I didnt judge him though. I just asked loads of questions. And other guys took the piss.

However, some guys in our group told their respective partners. And it became a thing that whenever he would crack onto a lady in their social circle, the ladies would cock block him by telling everyone he sees prozzies and is probably full of STDs.

Ive said it before, and I'll say it again.

NEVER NEVER NEVER tell ANYONE you know in real life.
Use a punting phone

This site is the only place to talk about it.

I know some guys use this site to try and get buddies for MFM meets. And thats fine (not sure on the rules for that) But even then. Punting phone and use your username. Anyone with a brain would understand!

[loner]

Haha yeah this might be kinda cool actually. Other hobbies also have actual GTGs (Get togethers) as well, no reason why this shouldnt. I can understand how if you are in a relationship or married, this is probably not worth the exposure but as a single guy in London, I would be up for a meal or coffee to discuss and share experiences of the hobby ahha

[Steely Dan]

I agree with the advice to never share with real life friends - for all the reasons mentioned and more.

I do like talking about what I get up to - even beyond this forum.  On reflection I have done this 4 ways:
* Sex Parties.  Easy to talk to the other guys.  At LMP back in the day there was a certain pub we would go to first.  Had to keep voices down.  The (closed) le Jeu parties were good for this too.
* Regulars.  Ok they are not guys, but some are open about hearing about my adventures and having grown up thoughts.  Yes I keep this responsible so I'm not disclosing what is private nor letting them diss the competition.
* MMFF.  A regular organised this.  So clearly I met the other guy.  We had a full afternoon so had some chats.
* Pattaya sex holiday.  Just last month, met 4 other blokes from UKP over some beers in Patts.  Very safe since we are all up to the same thing.  And we don't know each other in real life.  Good to share stories with safety.  Same as most other guys I met there, but had more in common with UKP ones.

[Charliehutton]

But agree, it would be so great to share stories, talk about punts, and have a laugh.

I an new on this website - but would love to share my extensive experiences

That's exactly what this forum is for. It would be a very insular hobby without it. I can never discus it in real life, though, not even with a handful of close mates I've known for more than fifty years. I'd advise fellow punters to do the same, or sooner or later, one way or another, it'll come back to bite you on the arse.

[coachman]

This.

Many years ago a friend admitted going to the local parlour. I had seen several escorts by this time. But even though he was a good freind. I didnt admit it to him. I didnt judge him though. I just asked loads of questions. And other guys took the piss.

However, some guys in our group told their respective partners. And it became a thing that whenever he would crack onto a lady in their social circle, the ladies would cock block him by telling everyone he sees prozzies and is probably full of STDs.

Ive said it before, and I'll say it again.

NEVER NEVER NEVER tell ANYONE you know in real life.
Use a punting phone

This site is the only place to talk about it.

I know some guys use this site to try and get buddies for MFM meets. And thats fine (not sure on the rules for that) But even then. Punting phone and use your username. Anyone with a brain would understand!

He was a very naïve telling you all his proclivities. Schoolboy error as most wouldn't ever mention it..

I would never share with friends or relatives that I know are not into it. But then again I have a whole other friend group that are well into paid for sex/ strip clubs/adultry/group meets. Its all good, everyone know it would be M.A.D to let it slip.

attitudes to paid for sex have definately changed. 30 years ago, seeing a sex worker would have been a big taboo, expensive and shameful if it came out. you'd probably be ostracised from the local community!  nowadays not so much.. in fact social media has normalised it. Students line up to have a go on Bonny Blue, Katie price wants to get her son laid via a sex worker. Women shouting out "he's got a STD"  - are in denial and their loss of power must hurt.

[loner]

Its crazy when you think about it as most men, will have to pay for sex in one way or another. Seeing an escort or using SA or whatever is just a more direct way to get it but even if you have a wife or GF, you are still "paying" something, just the discount rates are different depending on your looks and personalities, circumstances.

[maybe]

At times, i would like someone i can have a good chuckle with, but the reality for me is that i still don't want it interfere with my real life. Go have some no strings attached fun, leave it and then do the my own thing again.

A recent problem for me is that I've become more insensitive to sex. We were discussing if having sex is ALWAYS considered cheating and whether its possible for the other half forgive them. I agreed with majority but there is wiggle room and grey area to this. Oh man the looks around the table lol. I'm pretty sure my pre punting self would disagree with the me now.

[Paul9144]

No, It's not weird at all.

There is something about having a punting buddy, even a small trusted group that is appealing.

Trusted being the key word.

But, then again, there are obvious reasons that make it fairly risky.

Obviously, using second phone numbers and using aliases would be crucial.

One thing that I have quickly picked up on is how the SP's have a strong network, look out for & look after each other.

Many of them are on WhatsApp groups etc.

Is there anything wrong with us looking out for each other in the same or a similar way?

[RandomGuy99]

From the punting wiki

Tell no one you punt, you might think you can trust a family member or friend but you could fall out later and they could put you in the shit. Loose lips, sink ships. Treat punting like being in the Magical Circle: you don't reveal the tricks to outsiders…

[hendrix]

No, It's not weird at all.

There is something about having a punting buddy, even a small trusted group that is appealing.

Trusted being the key word.

But, then again, there are obvious reasons that make it fairly risky.

Obviously, using second phone numbers and using aliases would be crucial.

One thing that I have quickly picked up on is how the SP's have a strong network, look out for & look after each other.

Many of them are on WhatsApp groups etc.

Is there anything wrong with us looking out for each other in the same or a similar way?

That's what this forum is for imo. We all share information, good or bad, to help each other out.

As for "real life" meet ups etc, there are many variables, and for me personally absolutely not worth the potential hassles.

[oldrascal]

I have had three punting buddies over my punting career, one British and two American, all met at work or while travelling for work, and all now deceased. This was before I found UKP, and I really enjoyed talking to them and sharing experiences. Luckily, there was no chance of any of them meeting up with anyone close to home, such as family.

When we both hit 50, the British guy advised me to 'get punting whenever you can as we only have 20 more shagging years left!' Sadly, he died aged 59, while I am lucky enough to have carried on for more than 30 years.

The first American guy had erectile dysfunction problems, so it was interesting, and sometimes useful, to compare notes with him. He was single, and was more adventurous than me, even to the point of picking up street walkers, taking them home, and filming them in action with him (he showed me one of his films!).

The second American guy introduced me to a couple of WGs in a basement flat in New York city, as well as to an ebony (civvie) friend who was the illegitimate daughter of a well-known jazz musician, and with whom I stayed overnight a few times on my way through NYC.

So yes, for me punting buddies were a good thing, but I guess I was just lucky....

[markus12na]

I get it, well if you're looking for someone to discuss punts, ban me

[mrwhite]

There used to be a Scottish punting forum that closed down (can't for the life of me remember its name now)

But some of the members used to meet up every other month at a bar in the city centre.  They would discuss punting, politics, current affairs etc   The only off topic discussion was football (lol)

Some of the guys would arrange a punt before or after the bar meeting, and on some occasions a SP or two would also come along and socialise.

I didn't go to many, as the forum folded (quite suddenly iirc) and all the guys lost contact with each other.

[daviemac]

I get it, well if you're looking for someone to discuss punts, ban me

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[GreyDave]

   As an older punter of 40 odd years I have had over the years a few Punting buddies who Ive met at Parties and other Punter like events I count when ive done MMFs as the guy being a punting buddie of sorts as to be fair when your cock to cock in DVP in a woman youve got to be on good terms   However  I did used to see a couple in Essex Nick amd Leeanne if I remember right who ran parties and we became buddies quite a few times Id go over and be waiting for her to arrive we would watch VHS vids and have a beer then  wank off together then when shed arrive we would DVP and spit roast her . She knew he and I were Bi curious so joked about it but he had tried it with a chap who took offese and got argressive with him ....Sillly bloke as they used to arrange some great parties 

Id say the worst thing you could do is what an old boss of mine used to do he fancied himself as an Alfa type ( shaven head tat guy who changed his favorite footie team as often as he changed his undies to stay On Trend....he used to do the Soho day trips like myself as they were 10-15 and tip then tell us about it at work he tried chatting up the office girl who like everyone knew his adventures    (myself and others )she found him replent and made point of telling everyone of his unwanted advances ...

I would  say only guys youve met at parties and events who keep their lives seperate to are the only one to talk too remember the words of Baldrick "Deny every thing " and Manule of Falty Towers " I know nothing" when any conversation turns to punting or WGs Service providers escorts ect...Even in my work of refitting When an agent tels me the flat has been used for XX I say "My goodness! does that really happen here?" I then get an expenation of AW site Viva and the other flats theyve delt with ....I pull that Nooo look face you pull when you realise youve ordered a £4.5o cup of coffe     Be Carefull out there