VIPmassage__ - Swindon

[johnmcnabe]

External Link/Members Only

Location
An apartment building in Swindon town centre.

Comms
By SMS, on the day, with the lady herself. Effective, and clear.

Price
£80 the hour.

Service Provider
50-something Polish lady. Friendly, and welcoming, but not as per her profile and certainly not as per her pictures. Disinterested in the massage and seemed to prefer having a chat. I feels incredidlby mean to say it, but I didn't find her attractive, she was overweight and everything was hanging loose. This is a lady on the wrong side of middle-age, and that's not going to be a problem I suspect for many people in a similar place, because we're all going to get there, but her profile is outright deceptive on this point.

Services
Massage, followed by an attempt at hand release.

Refused
Nuru, b2b.

The Meet
Pretty negative massage meet with this lady. Was met at the door, and immediately disappointed as she was nothing like her profile. But she was welcoming, so I figured this would be fine, as a massage meet. Shower and towel available. Was first shown on to a massage table, where the SP rubbed my back. I can't call this a massage, it was perfunctory, ineffective and not at all stimulating or relaxing. SP very keen and happy to chat throughout though.
After a time, I was asked to move to the bed for what I assumed might be an attempt at b2b, but she plonked herself down and just tried to bring me off by hand. Very poor arrhythmic technique. Again, not stimulating, painful at times, in fact. The only way this would have gotten anyone off is if they were incredibly desperate, or if they were already very aroused. I was so bored of this, that I decided to bring it to an end when it was clear she wasn't going to get the job done. I figured I'd spare us both a continuation of a miserable little situation.

Ended up leaving maybe 20 minutes early.

Overall
Everything was poor. Poor massage. Services not as described. Profile not representative.
On a personal level, SP was friendly, wanted to chat. But in the role of a service prover, atrocious, and she just was not interested.
Cannot recommend.

[houseboot]

Very poor arrhythmic technique.

Interesting

Please explain

[johnmcnabe]

Interesting

Please explain

Not entirely sure how much clearer I can be on this without trying to write an essay on the proper handling of penises... but I'll try..
For a start, she used no oil, and grabbed it without any consideration as to the fact it's a sensitive flesh organ - she treated it as though it were some mechanical device, a pump perhaps. Her rhythm was non-existent - she would beat it hard, then switch hands, beat it slow, in a different direction, never quite knew where it was going to go. She didn't react or respond to the fact that it clearly wasn't working, clearly assuming that just handling my penis was sufficient in itself - but that's not how it works. Frankly, it was painful as well, on account of the poor handling. Wasn't paying attention to what she was doing. Eventually, because of her approach and the fact it didn't feel enjoyable at all, she overstimulated it, and given that she was just carrying on, that's where I called it off.

If you're someone who can get off just by virtue of being touched by a woman, with no other qualification needed, this wouldn't be a problem. But I don't think it works that way for most people.

[houseboot]

Not entirely sure how much clearer I can be

Perhaps I should be clearer

Your comment:-

 "Very poor arrhythmic technique"


Definition:-

"An arrhythmia, or abnormal heart rhythm, usually means your heart is beating too fast, too slow or irregularly"


So what exactly did you mean by "Very poor arrhythmic technique"?

[amg193]

She's resurfaced in Leicester now. Messaged her earlier and she mentions she's 26. Probably to get you down there until you see her in flesh