I’ve seen this ad for a while and whilst a UKP member in the independents review section apparently saw her, no review was forthcoming and so I decided to TOFTT. Ad is below, I would draw your attention to the photos and the mention of “oriental” in the ad. Spoiler - it was way too good to be true and was a B&S.
External Link/Members Only Comms: Fine. I texted in the AM for an afternoon booking. She gave me the postcode and I checked the road. It’s a long road (if you’re walking from the station - which I was), so I wanted to know what door number. She said I would have to wait closer to the time.
Location: Just by Tooting overground station. It’s behind a row of shops so you have to walk down an alley and through some dodgy looking back streets. Felt fine because I know the area but if I didn’t I would have been suspect of things. The flat is a really grotty basement flat - the kitchen is by the front door and there’s mud on the floor. There’s a main room (with nothing in it), a bathroom (which I opted not to use - showered at home) and the massage room. The massage room itself was a futon on the floor with some paper on, surrounded by 3 mirrors.
SP: Definitely NOT the person in the photos. Automatic neutral which I bumped to a negative. It’s a mid 30s European woman with blonde braids. Not a looker and not an awful body - massive tits though. I should have walked (and kicking myself for not) but when in anyway as was thinking with my small brain not my big one. I was offered a shower on entry but declined. I was taken into the massage room and handed over the paper. The SP was acting really erratic and kept laughing at the fact that the ceiling was so low. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why she was giggling so much at that point but thought nothing of it at the time.
Off my clothes came and I laid down. She started by oiling me up (getting totally naked herself) and B2B action started almost immediately. It wasn’t bad and her hands applied some good pressure. She did a few CC swipes and reachunders but not many. She then asked me to turn around and continued the B2B. Th only thing which was “good” was her tits and how they felt - otherwise mediocre at best.
Then she started rubbing her nose and laughing. At that point I suspected she was high of sorts. She also started to ask if I was enjoying things pretty much once every 2 minutes. She changed positions a few times and never encouraged me touching her pussy - so assume that’s off limits. Even if she did - I wouldn’t have done it.
Then towards the end she hopped up and started the most vigorous “happy ending” ever. It started to hurt and I told her I would take over so long as she put my dick between her tits. I finished myself off.
The PNC kicked in and even though I had 9 mins left on my 1 hour booking I said I would wash the oil at home. She then pulled a sad face and said but you’re covered in oil. I said yes i will shower at home (I just wanted to get TF out of there). She then said no no (started laughing) and got out some baby wipes to wipe down. I let her and then said okay thanks I need to leave. She asked (for the millionth time) if I enjoyed before finally letting me leave.
Overall: 100% a negative. I was thinking with my dick and should have seen the warning signs from the start on the ad. Photos too good to be true, a reference to oriental yet with Russian in the languages section. Honestly no clue if anything else is on offer but for £120 an hour, there’s far better value elsewhere. I also suspect she’s a drug user (but pure speculation).
I hope this review is very helpful to others in an area where there isn’t actually that much choice. It’s a shame my first TOFTT was negative but there’s always next time.
