External Link/Members OnlyI had read very mixed reviews of her, it seemed to me that the people that didn't enjoy it might not have come in with the right expectations, so if I went in knowing what's coming, I might get more out of it - I could have, if her attitute had been better, and if she didn't so obviously just go through the motions.
Despite the steep price, as I usually do, I prepared a little extra money as a potential tip if I really enjoyed it and wanted to come back, this was definitely not needed in this case.
Location: Fit for purpose flat close to London Bridge that she shares with someone.
Duration : Barely more than an hour for 220£, it was supposed to be 90 minutes.
Communication: I booked directly through her website, she then texted me to arrange an exact time.
Looks: Looks okay, maybe middle-aged, decent body, especially nice boobs. This is where the right attitude could have made an enormous difference and turned this potentially even into a strong positive.
Personality: Robotic throughout, only started warming up towards the end, the conversation started being a bit more organic and it felt like there was a bit of a connection. Too late at that point though.
Meeting: The meeting was off to an uncomfortable start when, while waiting for her to open the door, I heard a conversation between her and her colleague along the lines of "Oh yeah, I really hate it when they touch the nipples". Not sure which one said it, maybe both, but being hugely into boobs, this weird to heard and made for an awkward beginning.
I was not offered a shower upon entering, despite being a bit sweaty, having cycled to her place in a bit of a rush.
She asked me to undress, after which the yoga started, without much of an introduction. At the beginning, she asked me to close my eyes, and breathe in slowly - I peaked out of curiousity, and surely enough, she was using this to be on her phone some more - though she did put it away after a bit until the end of the session.
This was supposed to be a relaxing and sensual experience - it was not. She kind of rushed me from pose to pose, not really looking at me or caring if I did it correctly, not bothering to correct my form, even when it was very obvious I was not doing it right.
It was almost hilarious hearing someone saying things that were supposed to sound sexy in a very obviously prepared and mechanical tone, things like "Let's breathe in, feel the energy flowing, and enjoy our nakedness", as if reading a script she was seeing for the first time.
Even when she occasionally touched and lightly stroked my dick, absent mindedly, a few times, which was supposed to come across as spontaneous, she made it very evident that those moments were pre-planned. Of course they are, but when somebody is very obviously just going through a routine, this does not exactly make for a sensual atmosphere.
Funnily enough, I feel like I got more out of the actual yoga, and made a mental note to try the actual, non-naked one, as it felt like this was something I could use more of, usually sitting in front of a computer all day. The occasional coughing throughout, and even a yawn, did not exactly add to the erotic experience.
I was then asked to lie down on the mattress and the massage started - it was okay, though at this point it was difficult to really relax. Towards the end I heard a guy coming in - presumably a visitor for her colleague. Also does not make for a very sensual mood.
When I was finally able to flip around and lie on my back, she lied down backwards on my chest, with her pussy on my face - which sounds nice, but this made it impossible to see, much less touch, anything, obviously on purpose. Somehow I still managed to let her finish me off - after which I finally was offered a shower, we chatted a bit while I was getting dressed, and I left.
I could have been a repeat customer, even with that high price, if she had been even a little motivated - but yeah, no chance of a return. The money is much better spent elsewhere.
