I got caught cheating, now what?

[Stevelondon]

I'm sorry to hurt your feelings.
I don't see there is nothing else to be added to the discussion from me at this point.

I was expecting some real advice, Unfortunately apart of a very few comments many are mocking ones.

But no problem maybe my mistake asking this type of question here.

I’m pretty sure you’ve been here long enough to know the kind of responses you will get with a question of your making.
But sometimes even in the most sarcastic comment comes a modicum of sense.

You say your wife has forgiven you if you don’t cross the line again. But wants to know the ins and outs so to speak. I can’t offer any real life experience mate. But I don’t see you and her sitting opposite each other over a cuppa. Where you go into details of cock sucking, pussy eating and fucking in various positions with other women. Doing anything more than widening the divide.
My advice ask her to just accept you’ve stopped.

As for your second dilemma. You already know you can’t ask her to accept your punting lifestyle. So it’s a more secretive approach from now on……………… should you wish to carry on having paid for sex that is.
Only you know how much you want to stay with your wife.
Nobody on here can answer that question.

[alabama1]

Crystal clear in my eyes OP. You strayed into fucking prostitutes because she can't be arsed with sex with you. If she still can't be arsed after this, then you have to divorce her, don't you ?

[mh]

I'm sorry to hurt your feelings.
I don't see there is nothing else to be added to the discussion from me at this point.

I was expecting some real advice, Unfortunately apart of a very few comments many are mocking ones.

But no problem maybe my mistake asking this type of question here.

You didn't answer the question that might help people comment usefully. Was it an affair or just the 2 punts you've reviewed?

If an affair then don't bother trying to fix it, you almost certainly won't. If it was a couple of punts then there's a chance. How slims depends on how much she wants it to be OK again. Go with "I just needed to get my end away as I know you don't have as high a sex drive as me / I just needed to do things you don't like", Subtext: I was thinking of you at all times my dear".

[JontyR]

I think OP needs to look at this from a different perspective and try and take a hollistic view.

Whilst many folks on here's worst fears have been realised, once they have been - that fear and threat has now been removed. He hasn't got to worry about being caught anymore.

So what now.

Well OP - I'd do some serious thinking. What do you want your life to look like in 10, 20 and 30 years time. Do you want to be marries to your friendly wife? Do you want to be fucking her exclusively? Or do you want to play away? Or do you want to be free of all this icky sex nonsense.

Once you have worked out what you want then decide what you are going to do. To try and work out what to do is just a silly thing as you aren't working towards any aim.

Then my advice is to be honest. If she genuinely loves you, she may be willing to accept your behaviours or alter her own. But for fuck sake be honest. If she asks if you would stop going and seeing hookers if she sucks you off every thirsday then are you genuinely happy with that deal? Because this shit is addictive. And is a blow job from your friendly wife really going to scratch the itch of being dasiy chained by 3 transsexuals or wolfbagging a Big titted Gilf from Grenada.

The outcomes may not be what you expect or want. But complete honesty is the only way you can actually move towards a 100% perfect solution and remove the shit when it comes to having this held over you for ever.

Failing that, don't try, and end up with shit anyway. 

[Chazz]

Thanks Jonty! I learnt a new word today. Tomorrow's mission is to try and use "wolfbagging" in a sentence.   

[Colston36]

Thanks Jonty! I learnt a new word today. Tomorrow's mission is to try and use "wolfbagging" in a sentence.   

Don't mock other cultures. Years ago I did a lot of work in Grenada - a lovely island. Wolfbagging is the cherished national sport there. Hairy but sexy. "Wolf it down, mon" is a common greeting.

[carlisleman]

Many other ways to get caught.Be careful with scratches on your body, make up, perfume etc

I once had a WG leave scratches on my torso, I had to hide the scratch marks from OH till they faded. I also was once drenched with a WGs perfume after a session

I once saw a girl who really enjoyed her work and was very juicy. A very strong smell of sex, that stuff wouldnt even come off with a shower.

[Chazz]

Don't mock other cultures. Years ago I did a lot of work in Grenada - a lovely island. Wolfbagging is the cherished national sport there. Hairy but sexy. "Wolf it down, mon" is a common greeting.

I wasn't mocking, just enjoying my newly enlarged vocabulary. 

I'm not sure that I'd describe making a girl vomit as a "cultural" activity.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Many other ways to get caught.Be careful with scratches on your body, make up, perfume etc

I once had a WG leave scratches on my torso, I had to hide the scratch marks from OH till they faded. I also was once drenched with a WGs perfume after a session

Had that happen once in desperation went to the shed and dunked my hands in some Creosote as well as my dick!

Its preserved it quite well;)

She didnt want to come anywhere near me with that unique stink!..

[Steely Dan]

One thought that might be missing from this thread is that it is not all or nothing.  Not just Faithful vs Divorce.  Not just Caught or not caught.  Real life is more grey ... it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

One result can be to end up like brother and sister.  Friends, you live together and hang out, you have dinner together most nights.  But sleep in your own room.  (If you are not getting sex ever, your own room is better.)

Firstly, the sex tap is pretty much off.  Threatening her or bargaining is not going to turn it on for sure.  And knowing you met an escort wont have helped.

So how to get to a new normal? Let nature take its course.  She knows you met an escort.  She knows you are not getting sex at home.  Be an old fashioned man and keep your feelings to yourself.  Discuss Football and East Enders - not your relationship.  Keep seeing escorts but work even harder to not get caught.  She just might play along and not try too hard to catch you.  You are both lying to each other.  You both know you are lying to each other.  But you never never discuss it.

Maybe you end up in a different middle ground.  We can all make up 5 more options. But don't make it binary as both ends are shitty.

[pbrown355]

In other words, take the Fight Club option.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

You might find this vid usefull with what might be to come!...


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[Chazz]

One thought that might be missing from this thread is that it is not all or nothing.  Not just Faithful vs Divorce.  Not just Caught or not caught.  Real life is more grey ... it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

One result can be to end up like brother and sister.  Friends, you live together and hang out, you have dinner together most nights.  But sleep in your own room.  (If you are not getting sex ever, your own room is better.)

Firstly, the sex tap is pretty much off.  Threatening her or bargaining is not going to turn it on for sure.  And knowing you met an escort wont have helped.

So how to get to a new normal? Let nature take its course.  She knows you met an escort.  She knows you are not getting sex at home.  Be an old fashioned man and keep your feelings to yourself.  Discuss Football and East Enders - not your relationship.  Keep seeing escorts but work even harder to not get caught.  She just might play along and not try too hard to catch you.  You are both lying to each other.  You both know you are lying to each other.  But you never never discuss it.

Maybe you end up in a different middle ground.  We can all make up 5 more options. But don't make it binary as both ends are shitty.

Wise words indeed! I've always been a bit of a grey thinker, and have trouble understanding polarised black or white thinking. Moving out of the marital bedroom causes a big power shift in your favour too. She can't threaten you with making you sleep in the spare room if you already are, and as Dan says, if there's zero sex then your own room is better.

[Dude2k13]

You only registered in August.
You got caught way too fast.

[shed]

You only registered in August.
You got caught way too fast.

He was probably punting before he joined

[PaulRuff]

As most of us were.

[mh]

In other words, take the Fight Club option.

You mean don't talk to the OH at all? Easy.

[90125]

As most of us were.

Did you stop punting 12 months ago 

[PaulRuff]

Did you stop punting 12 months ago 

There's an extremely easy & obvious response to that looking at your own review count...

In fact I've only been seeing the occasional SP I've seen before so no point reviewing according to forum rules.  And the one ex-SP whom I see much more frequently BUT no longer pay so technically it's no longer punting.

 

[Fuzzyduck]

There's an extremely easy & obvious response to that looking at your own review count...

In fact I've only been seeing the occasional SP I've seen before so no point reviewing according to forum rules.  And the one ex-SP whom I see much more frequently BUT no longer pay so technically it's no longer punting.

 

Good luck with that.

[webpunter]

Deny deny deny

Never ever admit anything. Do not discuss any of your antics.

Deny deny deny

If you fess up, your world will turn to shit

Too late in the OP's case little point closing the gate when the horse has bolted


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[webpunter]

Yes, definitely join a gym, it's an excellent excuse to nip out for an hour and punt! 

Positive mental attitude + increased libido from working out

& to drop by post punt for a decent shower, even better briefly hop in the pool if there is one & then shower

Or take up pool / snooker, as @cueball can attest to

[daviemac]

There's an extremely easy & obvious response to that looking at your own review count...

You do realise it's the forum admin you are talking to don't you?   

[myothernameis]

There's an extremely easy & obvious response to that looking at your own review count..

Have you ever thought, that 90125 & Head1, as forum admin & owner, dont punt as they just run the site

[Thephoenix]

There's an extremely easy & obvious response to that looking at your own review count...

How's your foot mate?
The one with the bullet hole!

[webpunter]

You do realise it's the forum admin you are talking to don't you?   

@PR's post is beyond doubt the most idiotic fucktard disrespectful i've seen in a decade

'technically it's no longer punting', the king of freebies 

[webpunter]

Have you ever thought, that 90125 & Head1, as forum admin & owner, dont punt as they just run the site

Have you ever thought ...... that they do ? [it stands to reason that there might be a vague interest in our favourite sport just no reviews, obvs]

[gurds]

If your wife was refusing to have sex with you, it shouldn't be a big surprise to her imo.

I would have thought women would be more forgiving if their partners see escorts compared with civvies as less likely to be a strong emotional bond.

[puntingking]

why is Paulruff is facing a ban countdown. Surely it is not because of his review count. He last review was last November. It is only a year ago. While I would like Paulruff to contribute more, there are surely worst members who haven't written a review in years. 

[puntingking]

There's an extremely easy & obvious response to that looking at your own review count...

 

He is one of the moderators of this site. You wouldn't expect the head of tescos to shop at tescos, would you? 

This site relies on contribution from members and I would argue that the moderators are contributing to this site by keeping it tidy and making sure the site is running smoothly. 

[myothernameis]

why is Paulruff is facing a ban countdown.

Maybe because he questioned 90125 lack of reviews

[Belgarion]

Another fantasist

[PaulRuff]

why is Paulruff is facing a ban countdown. Surely it is not because of his review count. He last review was last November. It is only a year ago. While I would like Paulruff to contribute more, there are surely worst members who haven't written a review in years. 

Probably because I've revealed those behind the site are hypocritical, as most of us suspected?

And all the usual sycophants jump in with a comment too, laughable.

See you around losers!

 

[puntingking]

Probably because I've revealed those behind the site are hypocritical, as most of us suspected?

And all the usual sycophants jump in with a comment too, laughable.

See you around losers!

 

this tone wont go down well with the moderators.
I would heed their warning and advice (if its not too late for you)

Unless you want to be banned 

[Blackpool Rock]

Those questioning the review count of the Mods / Admin don't actually know that they aren't punting and indeed reviewing on here.

When Old Admin had the site it was known that in some circumstances members were given dispensation to have 2 accounts if their identity was known or likely to create an issue if they reviewed so then they were able to review on a 2nd account where their true life identity wasn't compromised.

The accounts for Head1 and 90125 were both created on the same day which basically demonstrates my point that they kept their original accounts where they could review and created new ones for running this site.
Whose to say that the other Mods with accounts older than 2019 don't now have newer 2nd accounts that they are also regularly reviewing on 

Seriously it's not rocket science is it and most of us are grateful that they stepped in to rescue the site which would have fallen by the wayside when Old Admin decided to call time, in any case it's up to the owners how they choose to run things 

[RedKettle]

Probably because I've revealed those behind the site are hypocritical, as most of us suspected?

And all the usual sycophants jump in with a comment too, laughable.

See you around losers!

 

You revealed yourself as an idiot.  Those IDs were set up specifically to run the site.  They were already reviewing members.

[Thephoenix]

Probably because I've revealed those behind the site are hypocritical, as most of us suspected?

And all the usual sycophants jump in with a comment too, laughable.

See you around losers!

 

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[webpunter]

Probably because I've revealed those behind the site are hypocritical, as most of us suspected?

And all the usual sycophants jump in with a comment too, laughable.

See you around losers!

 

Is your new GF [the SP giving you freebies, who most likely knows about UKP & your involvement 'pillow talk'  ] wanting to move things up a notch in your relationship ?
And as a condition to continue your blossoming romance wants you to cease UKP   
As we know de-activating memberships doesnt happen so the only option is to get yourself banned

Good luck, can i hear wedding bells faintly in the distance ?
What can possibly go wrong 
& you probably won't being seeing us around

[cueball]

See you around losers!

That one line is enough to warrant a ban in my opinion. That's calling all other members losers.

I've a skin as thick as a rhino but some statements i find offensive, and that's one of em.

Says more about the poster than who it's aimed at.

[90125]

Probably because I've revealed those behind the site are hypocritical, as most of us suspected?

And all the usual sycophants jump in with a comment too, laughable.

See you around losers!

 

Should have stopped digging when in a hole.

[PumpDump]

That one line is enough to warrant a ban in my opinion. That's calling all other members losers.

I've a skin as thick as a rhino but some statements i find offensive, and that's one of em.

Says more about the poster than who it's aimed at.

Oh booo hooo, you are offended. FFS grow up. Frankly, you are a loser if you pay for sex. And I am a loser too!

[daviemac]

Oh booo hooo, you are offended. FFS grow up. Frankly, you are a loser if you pay for sex. And I am a loser too!

It isn't the words it's the way they are meant.

If I were you I'd be careful after your comments about a moderators reviews, it has been shown we do not have to put up with it.

[PumpDump]

It isn't the words it's the way they are meant.

If I were you I'd be careful after your comments about a moderators reviews, it has been shown we do not have to put up with it.

How can a grown adult be offended by an immature poster calling us losers? Re the other issue, not sure why you're bringing it up here.

[RedKettle]

Oh booo hooo, you are offended. FFS grow up. Frankly, you are a loser if you pay for sex. And I am a loser too!

you are not very good at reading people and understanding their attitudes and humour.   You might want to listen more and say less.

[daviemac]

How can a grown adult be offended by an immature poster calling us losers? Re the other issue, not sure why you're bringing it up here.

Because of you general attitude, you don't seem to understand that the way words are used can vary the meaning behind them.

90125 found the way he used the word 'losers' offensive which was the decisive factor in him being banned, Banned reason: Calling members losers.

By your comments to cueball about him growing up for being offended you must be including 90125 in that statement as well?   

[versace]

Oh booo hooo, you are offended. FFS grow up. Frankly, you are a loser if you pay for sex. And I am a loser too!

Speak for yourself. You need to change your mindset.

[FLYING BLUE]

Speak for yourself. You need to change your mindset.

Have to agree with you.

I pay for sex but this alone does not make me a loser, not at all.
His sweeping statement says more about him than it does about anyone else.

I'm very happy in life & just happen to be absolutely hopeless with females & therefore, happy to pay for my occasional 'needs'

[webpunter]

Frankly, you are a loser if you pay for sex. And I am a loser too!

Unless i'm mistaken you pay them to leave, even metaphorically speaking when on an incall

I havent yet found a civvy who will edge the shit out of me for the best part of a hour, longer sometimes
Or be any good at it
I had a shiver go through me when one civvy asked me if i thought there was a menu 
Ooops, now how would she get that idea ? 

It would be a shame if you too were on a losing streak today !

[PumpDump]

Because of you general attitude, you don't seem to understand that the way words are used can vary the meaning behind them.

90125 found the way he used the word 'losers' offensive which was the decisive factor in him being banned, Banned reason: Calling members losers.

By your comments to cueball about him growing up for being offended you must be including 90125 in that statement as well?   

No, I simply don't get offended by words written by some anonymous guy on the internet. I fail to see how someone could be offended.

No, my message was aimed to cueball. 90215 didn't say anything about being offended that I can see. Why would you bring that up?

Seems like you are trying to bait me in to criticising a mod's decision here, which could be a banning offence.

[webpunter]

No, I simply don't get offended by words written by some anonymous guy on the internet. I fail to see how someone could be offended.

No, my message was aimed to cueball. 90210 didn't say anything about being offended that I can see. Why would you bring that up?

Seems like you are trying to bait me in to criticising a mod's decision here, which could be a banning offence.

How does Beverly Hills come into the equation ?